250,000-299,999 SparkPoints 283,614


Holiday Inn
Tuesday, September 04, 2012      12 comments

My DH and I figured out it would be cheaper to do a cruise the rest of our lives rather than a nursing home. You get even more than at the Holiday Inn. No nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a Holiday Inn! With the average... Read more
Chinese Call in Sick
Sunday, September 02, 2012      23 comments

CHINESE SICK LEAVE : 'I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!' Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.' The boss John says, 'You know something, Hung Ch... Read more
Wise Words from Maxine
Friday, August 31, 2012      16 comments

I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, and rapidly realized that I don't really give a hoot. It's the tortoise life for me! 1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all ... Read more
Grandchildren ARe Smart
Thursday, August 30, 2012      16 comments

I was eating lunch with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"; She said "It's President's Day!" She is a smart kid. I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Was... Read more
Senior Discounts
Wednesday, August 29, 2012      23 comments

Senior Discounts Keep this list - - - and Send a copy to your senior friends and relatives. As I was waiting in line behind an older gentleman at Wendy's recently, I heard him ask for his senior discount. The girl at the register apolo... Read more
More Blonde Jokes
Tuesday, August 28, 2012      24 comments

A friend told the blonde, "Christmas is on a Friday this year...." The blonde then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ----------------------------
--------------------------------- T... Read more
The Year Was 1955
Monday, August 27, 2012      21 comments

Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter? If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store. When I first started driving, who ... Read more
Another Old Woman Joke
Sunday, August 26, 2012      22 comments

Six Truths in Life
Friday, August 24, 2012      20 comments

Six Truths in Life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility. 2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it. 3. And discover #1 is a lie. 4. You are smiling no... Read more
Sex Tips for the Elderly
Thursday, August 23, 2012      22 comments

Thank you margemf 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sur... Read more
It's Hell to be Old
Wednesday, August 22, 2012      23 comments

It's Hell to be Old OLD people have problems that you haven't Even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical Exam. The doctor gave the man a jar... Read more
Classes for Men
Tuesday, August 21, 2012      16 comments

WICOE (Women In Charge Of Everything) Is proud to announce the opening of its EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN! OPEN TO MEN ONLY ALL ARE WELCOME Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maxim... Read more
The Toilet Seat
Monday, August 20, 2012      15 comments

My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and ... Read more
The Importance of Walking
Sunday, August 19, 2012      17 comments

The Importance of walking Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he ... Read more
Men Should Think Before Speaking!
Saturday, August 18, 2012      19 comments

Thanks again to margemf for the joke: Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was... Read more

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