The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities to keep him occupied.
... Read more
Wine vrs. Water
I'll still drink my water!
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is b... Read more
Man and Police Officer
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up... Read more
Two of the Best Comebacks
TWO OF THE BEST COMEBACK RESPONSES Ever
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to und... Read more
The Blonde and the Frog
Thanks again to SFriend margemf who keeps me supplied with jokes.
A blonde goes into her local pet shop in search of an exotic pet .
As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs.
The sign on the b... Read more
One afternoon, a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have a... Read more
Isn't It Ironic?
The SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program)/Food Stamp
Program, administered by the U.S.Department of Agriculture, is
pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food
Meanwhile, the Nation... Read more
We came to the lake in central calif for some sun and fun. It snowed about an inch and it' cold. We're going to fish but maybe not. Sorry this isn't a joke but I cannot it and paste on me cell phone.... Read more
I again have SparkFriend margemf to thank for this joke!
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks t... Read more
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
... Read more
Blonde on Blonde
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also blonde. The blonde cop asked to see her driver's license.
She dug throught her handbag and was getting progressiv... Read more
Thank you to Sparkfriend margemf who keeps sending me great e-mails.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How d... Read more
Don't Drink and Drive
Joke is thanks to SparkFriend margemf!
I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd soc... Read more
A man and his wife, moved back home to **Tennessee**, from ****Ohio**** .
> > The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it in ****Ohio**** cost them
> > $2000 per year!
> > When they arrived in ****Tennessee****, they went ... Read more
My Tax Return (Joke)
Yesterday I got my Tax Return "Returned"
I was trying to get a jump on doing my taxes this year, however, the IRS sent my Tax Return back!! I guess it was because of my response to the line, which said: "List All Dependents".
So, I replied:... Read more
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