These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs... Read more
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of co... Read more
My New Primary Care Physician
Love this Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not ... Read more
Flour and Water
HOW COME WHEN YOU MIX
WATER AND FLOUR TOGETHER
and then you add
and you get cake?
Where did the glue go ?
You kn... Read more
Homeless Man's Funeral
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral
director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had
no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery
in the Tennessee ... Read more
After the eighty-three year old
lady finished her annual
examination, the doctor said,
"You are in fine shape for your age,
Maxine, but tell me, do you
"Just a mi... Read more
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion ... Read more
A School Teacher
Texas teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second... Read more
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, You've got to make love ... Read more
Better Than Paper Towels!
Who knew! And you can buy a ton of them at the Dollar Tree for $1.00 - even the large ones.
1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.
2. Clean windows, ... Read more
Seniors and Computers
As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.
I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of... Read more
Are You Smarter Than a 60 Year Old?
The answers are printed below, but don't cheat.
01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?"
Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, bu... Read more
New Medicare Program
New Medicare Program
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Poli... Read more
You Might Be a Redneck
This is not the type of Redneck jokes we hear, this is beautiful.
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to
Take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that
Values home, family, country and God... Read more
Another Golf Joke
man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what ... Read more
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