Thanks for Nothing
As we progress through to the end of 2011, I want to thank you for
your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up
now and have little chance of recovery.
I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a ... Read more
The Christmas Party
I would like to share an experience with you all about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.
Last night, I... Read more
I'm Not Old!
* I woke up,
I lifted my arms,
I moved my knees,
I turned my neck....
Everything made the same noise:
....I came to a conclusion:
I am not old,
I'm ... Read more
Choosing A Wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy be... Read more
A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was aroun... Read more
Carol and The Red Bike
Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner.
Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her
mother what she wanted. " Mom , I want a bike for my birthday."
Now, Little Car... Read more
The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.
'If you want you... Read more
Use of Capitals
Subject: Fw: Use of Capitals To: From a Teacher…………short and to the point In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of using Capitals. For those of you ... Read more
A Cowboy Named Bob
A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The ... Read more
50th Anniversary (No, not mine!)
A couple was celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids,
all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one .... 'Sorry I'm
running late. I had an em... Read more
Written by a third grader , on what his grandparents do.
After Christmas , a teacher asked her young pupils how
they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote
We always used to spend the holida... Read more
Do Not Stop Playing
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!!! !
If you see someone without a smile,
Always give them yours.!!!
Have a GREAT Day!
... Read more
The Twelve Days of Christmas--What it Really Means
There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
This week, I found out.
... Read more
Shirley and Marcy
A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how... Read more
Where Did These Sayings Come From?
> Us older people need to learn something new every day..
> Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.
> Where did "Piss Poor" come from?
> Interesting History.
> They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used t... Read more
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