The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.
'If you want you... Read more
Use of Capitals
Subject: Fw: Use of Capitals To: From a Teacher…………short and to the point In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of using Capitals. For those of you ... Read more
A Cowboy Named Bob
A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The ... Read more
50th Anniversary (No, not mine!)
A couple was celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids,
all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one .... 'Sorry I'm
running late. I had an em... Read more
Written by a third grader , on what his grandparents do.
After Christmas , a teacher asked her young pupils how
they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote
We always used to spend the holida... Read more
Do Not Stop Playing
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!!! !
If you see someone without a smile,
Always give them yours.!!!
Have a GREAT Day!
... Read more
The Twelve Days of Christmas--What it Really Means
There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
This week, I found out.
... Read more
Shirley and Marcy
A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how... Read more
Where Did These Sayings Come From?
> Us older people need to learn something new every day..
> Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.
> Where did "Piss Poor" come from?
> Interesting History.
> They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used t... Read more
No More Airport Screening?
Got to love this, what a brilliant idea!
The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will ... Read more
Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'
and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 Euros.
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter,
"but for a million euros you'v... Read more
Bob and The Blonde
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump... Read more
Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven..
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed,
and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
it is cer... Read more
Investment Ideas for 2012
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Even if you aren't a member of Congress!
Watch for these consolidations in 2012:
1. Hale Bus... Read more
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The
> parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
> Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious
> and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to
> change ... Read more
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