God Bless the Marines
The peace is shattered in an airplane by a five-year-old boy who picks the
moment, after the plane has taken off, to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy contin... Read more
A man is driving down a deserted
stretch of highway
when he notices a sign
out of the corner of his eye...
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
He thinks this is a figmen... Read more
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart .
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart .
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife .
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans' he replies... Read more
Pain and Birth
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's fa... Read more
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many... Read more
Marriage of 40 Years!
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married coup... Read more
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short
breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked ... Read more
The Year is 1911
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The year is 1911 --- One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1911:
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The average life expectancy for m... Read more
What Is A Grandparent?
The following were taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds:
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's.
A grandfather is a man, & a grand... Read more
Grandparent's Answering Machine
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ...
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.... Read more
It's a Matter of Perspective The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards, claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate. GOV'T AGENT: "I need a list of your employees a... Read more
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly ... Read more
If My Body Were a Car
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...
But that's not the worst of it...
My ... Read more
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street... Read more
Painting the Church
There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some ti... Read more
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