An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many... Read more
Marriage of 40 Years!
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married coup... Read more
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short
breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked ... Read more
The Year is 1911
************ ********* ***********
The year is 1911 --- One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1911:
************ ********* ************
The average life expectancy for m... Read more
What Is A Grandparent?
The following were taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds:
WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's.
A grandfather is a man, & a grand... Read more
Grandparent's Answering Machine
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ...
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.... Read more
It's a Matter of Perspective The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards, claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate. GOV'T AGENT: "I need a list of your employees a... Read more
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly ... Read more
If My Body Were a Car
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...
But that's not the worst of it...
My ... Read more
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street... Read more
Painting the Church
There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some ti... Read more
Tickle Me Elmo
There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Loretta is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.
The... Read more
A Blonde Orders Replacement Windows
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind. Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn'... Read more
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian.
The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.
The vet t... Read more
Funniest Staff Meeting Ever
The Funniest Staff Meeting Ever!
The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who und... Read more