And God Bless Daddy
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying:"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Gra... Read more
Boss Who Reacts Before Getting Facts
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company... Read more
Senior Needing Help
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
... Read more
Try this test:
While sitting, raise your right foot off the ground. Make circles with your foot going clock wise.
Now, with your right arm up, draw a number 6 in the air. Your foot will automatically switch directions. There is noth... Read more
The Outhouse Poem
The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That s... Read more
Murphy's Other Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. ... Read more
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at that time of night.
The man replies, I am going to a three hour lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body and family life.
... Read more
A while ago a new supermarket opened in our Suburb.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the mil... Read more
Never Try to Outsmart a Woman!
A man calls home to his wife,
and says, "Honey, I have been
asked to fly to Canada with
my boss and several of his
friends for fishing..
We'll be gone for a long weekend.
This is a good opportunit... Read more
· A man was in a locker room, changing after playing golf. Suddenly, his phone rang. He put it on speaker for the rest of the guys to hear.... "Hey hun!" A woman said. "Hey babe." The man said. "Oh my gosh, I just found this beauti... Read more
Larry is in The Hospital
Larry Is In The Hospital . . . .....
Who in the hell is Larry?
Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"
Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"
"A tatto... Read more
Walking the Dog
Walking the dog
A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."
... Read more
How To Wash the Toilet
How to Wash a Toilet
This was simply too much of a time- saver not to share it with you
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and
add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him
while you c... Read more
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the ma... Read more
I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. "Frogs are good bass bait," I thought to myself.
Knowing the snake couldn'... Read more
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