1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise do... Read more
> 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
> 3. I totally take back al... Read more
Man who run in
Front of car get tired.
Man who run behind
Car get exhausted.
Man with one
Chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~... Read more
Knowledge vs. Wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
... Read more
These have been around but still funny to read.
The following questions were in last year's GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pe... Read more
Only on a Farm
A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and
> knocked at the door.
> A young boy, about 9, opened the door "Is your Dad home?" the rancher asked.
> "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into ... Read more
How's Your Day Going?
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
trouble-making biker steps up next to me,
grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into ... Read more
The grandparents were staying at their grandson's house. At bed time the grandfather asked the younger if he still had some viagara pills. The grandson said
Yes and told his gf all the bad side affects. The gf insisted that he wanted a pill. T... Read more
Oil Change Instructions
Oil Change instructionsfor Women:
1. Pull up to GM Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a pr... Read more
A young woman was waiting for an airplane and decided to grab a bag of cookies. She took a seat after buying them and began using her computer. She reached for a cookie on the seat next to her and enjoyed a cookie.
All of a sudden the man si... Read more
Last "That's How the Fight Started"
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one of the seven ARE you then?'
... Read more
And That's How the Fight Started -- Part 2
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making be... Read more
Mermaid or Whale?
L O V E T H I S ! ! !
Recently, in a large city in Australia ,
a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.
It said, "This summer,
do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
... Read more
And That's How the Fight Started
HOW TO START A FIGHT
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
A Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still hav... Read more
At Any Given Moment:
79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now!
58,000,000 are kissing.
37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
1 elderly pe... Read more
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