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In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah,
Who was now living in England and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another... Read more
How to Stay Young
Stay Young My Friend
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are !
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything ... Read more
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
Lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the
Horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a ... Read more
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and co... Read more
This new version of the "footprints" story really caught me off guard at the end...What a blessing.. IT'S AWESOME!!!
Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along ... Read more
Quick Thinking Oldster
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks... Read more
Why do I like about retirement
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a li... Read more
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a law man. He grew up big, 6' 2'',
and strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang.
He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally became of age he applied to where he had o... Read more
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Quickly, God was faced with a citation from the regulatory board. God was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease-and-desist order for the earthly par... Read more
Computer-Male or Female
What gender is a 'computer'?
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.... Read more
Cell Phones + Gas Important Read!!!!!
MUST READ, EVEN IF YOU DON'T OWN A CAR.
Here's some reasons why we don't allow cell phones in operating areas, propylene
oxide handling and storage area, propane, gas and diesel refueling areas.
The Shell Oil Company recently issued ... Read more
Something to Ponder
A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wan... Read more
Words to live by
A husband opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:
'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.'
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
'She got this... Read more
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'Wha... Read more
Never Judge a Book by it's Cover
A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office.
The secretary could tel... Read more