Quick Thinking Oldster
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks... Read more
Why do I like about retirement
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a li... Read more
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a law man. He grew up big, 6' 2'',
and strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang.
He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally became of age he applied to where he had o... Read more
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Quickly, God was faced with a citation from the regulatory board. God was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease-and-desist order for the earthly par... Read more
Computer-Male or Female
What gender is a 'computer'?
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.... Read more
Cell Phones + Gas Important Read!!!!!
MUST READ, EVEN IF YOU DON'T OWN A CAR.
Here's some reasons why we don't allow cell phones in operating areas, propylene
oxide handling and storage area, propane, gas and diesel refueling areas.
The Shell Oil Company recently issued ... Read more
Something to Ponder
A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wan... Read more
Words to live by
A husband opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:
'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.'
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
'She got this... Read more
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'Wha... Read more
Never Judge a Book by it's Cover
A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office.
The secretary could tel... Read more
Crabby Old Man
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte , Nebraska, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. It... Read more
The Pastor's Cat
THE PASTOR'S CAT
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.
... Read more
Thank You Story
It happened every Friday evening, almost without fail, when the sun resembled a giant orange and was starting to dip into the blue ocean.
Old Ed came strolling along the beach to his favorite pier. Clutched in his bony hand was ... Read more
The Little Penny
That Little Penny In The Parking lot
Remember this every time
you pass that little penny in the parking lot.
I always thought that it
was for good luck, but I love this version
I found a penny ... Read more
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A 77 year old guy loved to fish.
He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'
He looked around and couldn't see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say
again,'Pick... Read more