Laugh for Today
I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make
sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist
twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x-rays, cardio
stress tests, EKG's and colonos... Read more
Mother Taught Me-------
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. . . I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet... Read more
Best Ever Senior Citizen Joke
BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is i... Read more
Frozen Crabs and the Blonde
Frozen Crabs and the Blonde
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the cr... Read more
A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircra... Read more
The Green Thing
In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”
That’s right, they didn’t have the gr... Read more
Who Does What????
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The hu... Read more
What if there isn't "anymore"
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the
warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that
sometimes there isn't "anymore".
No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate to... Read more
Using credit/debit card?
Read this note very carefully.
I did not know about the clear button,
but I will be pushing the clear button before I swipe my gas or debit card
and after just to be safe.
People are get... Read more
Where do we go to eat?????
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
> Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studi... Read more
"ICE" your Phone
Apparently this is a standard procedure paramedics follow at the scene of an accident when they come across your cell phone.
ICE - 'In Case of Emergency'
We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but no... Read more
In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah,
Who was now living in England and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another... Read more
How to Stay Young
Stay Young My Friend
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are !
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything ... Read more
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
Lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the
Horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a ... Read more
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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and co... Read more