Your kids are becoming you... and you don't like them... but your grandchildren are perfect!
Going out is good... Coming home is better!
When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"
When you needed the... Read more
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day
while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went
through so he prayed:
I go to work every day and put
in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays a... Read more
I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make
sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist
twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x-rays, cardio
stress tests, EKG's and colonos... Read more
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. . . I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet... Read more
BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is i... Read more
Frozen Crabs and the Blonde
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the cr... Read more
A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircra... Read more
In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”
That’s right, they didn’t have the gr... Read more
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The hu... Read more
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the
warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that
sometimes there isn't "anymore".
No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate to... Read more
Using credit/debit card?
Read this note very carefully.
I did not know about the clear button,
but I will be pushing the clear button before I swipe my gas or debit card
and after just to be safe.
People are get... Read more
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
> Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studi... Read more
Apparently this is a standard procedure paramedics follow at the scene of an accident when they come across your cell phone.
ICE - 'In Case of Emergency'
We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but no... Read more
In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah,
Who was now living in England and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another... Read more
Stay Young My Friend
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are !
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything ... Read more