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Advice for the Older Crowd
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
íthat the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of ... Read more
Pecans in the Cemetery
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me.... Read more
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,
raised a glass of water and asked, 'How heavy is this glass of water?'
The answers called out, ranged from 8oz. To 20oz.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight do... Read more
A Bit of Wit and Wisdom
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for... Read more
Understanding the Man/Woman Connection
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:
Ever n... Read more
Observations on Growing Older
Your kids are becoming you... and you don't like them... but your grandchildren are perfect!
Going out is good... Coming home is better!
When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"
When you needed the... Read more
Women's Favorite E-Mail
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day
while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went
through so he prayed:
I go to work every day and put
in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays a... Read more
Laugh for Today
I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make
sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist
twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x-rays, cardio
stress tests, EKG's and colonos... Read more
Mother Taught Me-------
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. . . I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet... Read more
Best Ever Senior Citizen Joke
BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is i... Read more
Frozen Crabs and the Blonde
Frozen Crabs and the Blonde
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the cr... Read more
A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircra... Read more
The Green Thing
In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags werenít good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, ďWe didnít have the green thing back in my day.Ē
Thatís right, they didnít have the gr... Read more
Who Does What????
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The hu... Read more
What if there isn't "anymore"
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the
warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that
sometimes there isn't "anymore".
No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate to... Read more