I feel like the only way I can lose weight is to go to the extreme side of my eating disorder. There is no happy and healthy medium. I either focus on “thinspo” and starve myself or overexercise. I could at least overexercise when I had access t... Read more
I broke my hand at the end of March and so I was out of school for about a month. During that time I binge ate like crazy and just completely let myself go. I'm pretty sure I weight about 260 or a bit more now which depresses me. Severely.
... Read more
Yesterday was bad. Did binge eating, ate a lot of fast food. It was a great day! Don't get me wrong I went for Chinese with a friend and then we went to the second bookstore and I got a great haul of goofy books and a gift for my boyfriend and r... Read more
So I weighed myself this morning and I am close to my highest weight.
A lot as happened since I was last here and I will probably post about it eventually.
But, right now, I need to get back in shape. I want to be under 200 lbs by the ... Read more
Cutting From the Cutter's Point of View
This year will mark 10 years of self-injury and the longest period of sobriety I've been able to keep has been 6 months. The first time I self-injured I carved a boyfriend's initials into the side of ... Read more
So I'm doing the 5k in June and if you want to sponsor me just go here.
I'm pretty excited. The last time I did any sort of walk I didn't do any walking I was volunteering. I volunteered in Pho... Read more
She said my knees were "frighteningly normal". I should wear a wrap with my permanently-effed ankle (I have a stretched ligament in my right ankle so it's like permanently swollen) and I just need to take two Aleve twice a day, specifically befo... Read more
Occasionally I will post journal entries I've written in my personal journal on my Tumblr. I think I'll starting posting here. These are just a bunch. It's scary because I can really see my Bipolar.
Today was just a crap day.
First the ha... Read more
Day 1: What you like people to call you — Rachel, chikadee, or godzilla
Day 2: Best teacher you’ve ever had — Either my 4th/5th grade teacher, my 2nd/3rd grade teacher, or any of my English teachers. Probably the first half of 8th grade Eng... Read more
Okay I'm stealing this one from Tumblr. Feel free to spread it around and I hope to see many of your entries. When I make a new entry I'll update with a link to the entry for that day.
Day One: What you like people to call you.
Day Two: T... Read more
I'm posting at midnight so a fresh start of the month.
I started my new job yesterday (Monday) it went okay. I do not like walking around a lot in heels. I also got lost a couple times :( Not fun. I'll be working for a collections agency.
... Read more
I got this from this pretty little lady www.sparkpeople.com/mypa ge.asp?id=BUBBLEJ1
A. Age: 20
B. Bed size: Queen pillow top. So heavenly.
C. Chore you hate: Cleaning the catbox, doing the dishes, and taking out the ... Read more
He kept bugging me to post about it here. My boyfriend joined SparkPeople to get buff. His name is METAVOID.
So he keeps up with my SparkPage and stuff so he saw the blog I wrote the other day and told me, "If I had the money and three mor... Read more
My best friend is getting married next month in the courthouse and having a ceremony in October. I'm her Maid of Honor!!! I will be at my goal weight in October so this is super exciting. We've known each other for 13 years. We are both our long... Read more
So I've been doing wall pushups. The most I could do was 100. That was awesome. But my triceps are really lacking. While my biceps are getting toned already my triceps are still full of fat. I don't have any weights at home so does anyone have a... Read more