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C-MERRIE11's Blogs

survival and food
Wednesday, December 08, 2010      4 comments

ptsd- "I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there is no relief in waking." (Katniss, in Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins Last night there was a lot of orange, I think, and swirling. And running. But I woke up fine. I've gr... Read more
Inspirational... book on tape? :D
Tuesday, December 07, 2010      2 comments

In the motivational strategies it was recommended that I watch an inspirational movie. Well, recently I downloaded a book on tape, a triology, and listened to all three books. The book was The Hunger Games. Through the story I was challenged ... Read more
My three week exercise challenge :), week one done- and a reflection on fastbreaks in other areas of
Saturday, December 04, 2010      3 comments

Ok, so I did one week of my high intensity program of exercise! I made every workout and I feel really good :) It's hard to fit in exercise sometimes, and especially this amount, but I did it, by getting up on time, getting enough sleep, a... Read more
One week in, two to go: declaring my intentions
Friday, December 03, 2010      2 comments

Ok, so at the beginning of this week I shook up my workout routine, upped it a notch, and I thought I'd blog about it. I'm not aiming at a specific weight over three weeks (I'm going real slow to break the binge habit). This is just a step... Read more
Goals for While I'm Gone
Wednesday, May 19, 2010      5 comments

Here are my goals for while I am on my trip: *Run 30 minutes 10/12 days or do SparkVideo if it is raining for 30 minutes inside *Do situps 3 of the days *Record what I eat using my Spark phone app. *Follow a 1600-1900 cal plan *Eat fru... Read more
Confessions- off my food plan
Wednesday, May 19, 2010      1 comments

Yesterday and today, I confess, I completely ignored my food plan. In trying to break good-bad, black-white categories I am letting myself blow things and not feel bad. It may not be the best route but I'm trying it. And the effect is that I ... Read more
Come to the Dark Side, says ED inside my head
Tuesday, May 18, 2010      1 comments

Many people call that voice in their head 'Ed.' My therapist today called it 'the Dark Side.' When I am weak, tired, lonely, scared, angry, hungry etc. etc. the Dark Side calls to me, promising protection and comfort (wheezing voice)- Christi... Read more
How I learned to love to run
Monday, May 17, 2010      4 comments

Ok, so I am cheating in that I already posted this on a message board once, but I wanted to have it somewhere more accessible, so I dug it out and am posting it as a blog: A long time ago, coming out of middle school I always hated gym clas... Read more
Holiday in Oxford and Paris
Sunday, May 16, 2010      6 comments

This Thursday my husband and I will embark on our holiday to Oxford and to Paris. We have friends staying in Oxford with one of the institutes part of the university and we will enjoy staying with them. In the middle of our 12 day stay we will... Read more
What I am feeling today- laying it out there
Friday, May 14, 2010      6 comments

Today I had a great conversation with my husband when he asked me what I was feeling... I found that I am feeling frustrated: 1) I am frustrated that despite my best efforts I could not take off the binge-weight 2) I am frustrated that ... Read more
motivation- where you at?
Thursday, May 13, 2010      2 comments

After school got out (ie I was released from captivity) I just bottomed out. Burnt. Burned. Bummed. It really is strange- I thought for sure, as I sat eking out another paper- that finishing the semester would feel like sheer bliss. On the c... Read more
5,000 calories
Wednesday, May 12, 2010      6 comments

Yesterday I ate 5,000 calories. Yes I did. I feel a whole lot of shame about it as you can probably imagine. I am still not sure where it came from or what I was feeling, and I am mostly in shock. Anyway, I have been startled into looking in... Read more
What I learned: when it ain't workin' change tack
Sunday, April 25, 2010      3 comments

What I learned today is that if it ain't working', change tack. Tacking is a sailing maneuver. The aim is to turn the bow through the wind so that the direction from which the wind blows against the sail changes from one side to the other.... Read more
Thank you
Saturday, April 24, 2010      1 comments

Thank you. Thank YOU. Thank you, all of you, who encouraged me the past few days when I was struggling. Thank you those who wrote me notes. Thank you those who responded to my message board pleas. Thank you those who too... Read more
5 Thoughts I Could Do Without- and 5 I'll Keep
Friday, April 23, 2010      4 comments

5 thoughts I could do without: 'It's too late' How many times have I stuffed my face because I felt I had already 'messed up'? How many dreams have I let slip by because I felt it was 'too late'? I remember thinking in 3rd grade that I ... Read more

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