Here, There, and Everywhere
The winter break has brought out the night owl in me. Since I don’t have to work tomorrow morning, I thought seriously about attending yet another event tonight. (That makes five nights! That’s like a workweek of being “in those... Read more
Waiting to Exhale
It has been politely suggested that I try a torso shaper. Thanks. But now I think that you’re trying to kill me.
I have seen them, and already I shiver in fright. I am not trying these without some more guidance. Now, I must admit I like m... Read more
What Not to Wear: A Gut and G-Cups
Today I have discovered Fashion bloggers. I’m not going to say anything about any of them yet because I don’t know internet blogging etiquette . . .
OK. I lied. I just came across Fatshopaholic. That lady is the business. I would like to m... Read more
12-12-12? That's like a dozen donuts to the third powder! . . . Go ahead, groan.
This will be short and sweet, like my encounters with Krispy Kreme donuts.
Listen, I eat too much. You know it. I know it.
Somebody stop me.
Today I ate two paltry meals at home. I ate breakfast, a milkshake, and a meal in my ca... Read more
$240 Worth of Pudding
Well, $241.00 actually. That is the approximate dollar amount that I spent on food – this week.
I guarantee you – I ain’t got it like that. I don’t even want it like that, but between eating out at King, Donald, Bell, Kentucky, or anyone e... Read more
I can spot mine. Can you spot yours?
Don’t take it for granted. Well trimmed or not. Brazilianized or bright eyed and bushy-tailed, appreciate the view. There are some people who cannot enjoy the same. And ... Read more
Unthanksgiving. Thank you very much.
Tomorrow I go back to work! Ugh. I know that I am supposed to feel grateful and glad that I have a job in this recession. However, I don’t. I feel like I already know what’s about to happen tomorrow—and it aint’ pretty.
Tomorrow, I will ge... Read more
Blast from the Past
Yesterday, I bought a size 18 dress for my high school graduation. I worried about acne, making friends in college, and whether I’d ever have a boyfriend.
This morning, I woke up to a size 28 body. Then, I worried about acne, making friend... Read more
One More, Twenty More to Go
OK, so I finally got my calories under wraps today. Normally, I let them hang out like a third and fourth boob from a too-tight bra, but today I had them all neat, tidy, and close to my chest. Alas, I cannot celebrate because as that one area fe... Read more
Five O'Clock Munch Hour
OK. I have fully discovered the deliciousness of food, but I have yet to understand the reasoning of my stomach. I normally don’t get really hungry until 4 to 5 pm in the afternoon. It seems like right about then, my stomach becomes a ravenous m... Read more
Maxwell Concert in my Mouth
No fries, no burgers, no fish fillets . . . everything that I have put in my mouth for the last four days required me to either take out a pot, pan, or my keys to drive to a restaurant. Even then, I actually had to walk inside of the establishm... Read more
Fasting from Fast Food
Eating wise, today was a little bit better. Instead of being so hungry that I could eat a horse, I just nibbled on a little donkey instead. And, like an ass, I stubbornly refuse to completely admit guilt in this weight problem I ha... Read more
OK, OK, I just left McDonalds's, which I normally visit after a long day at work taking care of other people's kids. This night, I visited the clown's stomping grounds to get a late night meal because I knew that I didn't really want to cook any... Read more
In Another Life, I'd be a Poet, and a Good One
Today I wanted to rejoin my normal habits of eating out of emotion. I am not pleased that someone did not return my phone call. However, instead of eating tomorrow's lunch, I decided to write two less than mediocre poems to cure the intense wave... Read more
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Teenage Mutant Muffin Tops
It's 2009. There is still too much booty in my pants and too much muffin on top. Last winter, I lost a grand 30 or so pounds that made me feel healthier, look better, and shine with accomplishment. Then I gained it back.
Now, I'm down in th... Read more