Here, There, and Everywhere
The winter break has brought out the night owl in me. Since I donít have to work tomorrow morning, I thought seriously about attending yet another event tonight. (That makes five nights! Thatís like a workweek of being ďin those... Read more
Waiting to Exhale
It has been politely suggested that I try a torso shaper. Thanks. But now I think that youíre trying to kill me.
I have seen them, and already I shiver in fright. I am not trying these without some more guidance. Now, I must admit I like m... Read more
What Not to Wear: A Gut and G-Cups
Today I have discovered Fashion bloggers. Iím not going to say anything about any of them yet because I donít know internet blogging etiquette . . .
OK. I lied. I just came across Fatshopaholic. That lady is the business. I would like to m... Read more
12-12-12? That's like a dozen donuts to the third powder! . . . Go ahead, groan.
This will be short and sweet, like my encounters with Krispy Kreme donuts.
Listen, I eat too much. You know it. I know it.
Somebody stop me.
Today I ate two paltry meals at home. I ate breakfast, a milkshake, and a meal in my ca... Read more
$240 Worth of Pudding
Well, $241.00 actually. That is the approximate dollar amount that I spent on food Ė this week.
I guarantee you Ė I ainít got it like that. I donít even want it like that, but between eating out at King, Donald, Bell, Kentucky, or anyone e... Read more
I can spot mine. Can you spot yours?
Donít take it for granted. Well trimmed or not. Brazilianized or bright eyed and bushy-tailed, appreciate the view. There are some people who cannot enjoy the same. And ... Read more
Unthanksgiving. Thank you very much.
Tomorrow I go back to work! Ugh. I know that I am supposed to feel grateful and glad that I have a job in this recession. However, I donít. I feel like I already know whatís about to happen tomorrowóand it aintí pretty.
Tomorrow, I will ge... Read more
Blast from the Past
Yesterday, I bought a size 18 dress for my high school graduation. I worried about acne, making friends in college, and whether Iíd ever have a boyfriend.
This morning, I woke up to a size 28 body. Then, I worried about acne, making friend... Read more
One More, Twenty More to Go
OK, so I finally got my calories under wraps today. Normally, I let them hang out like a third and fourth boob from a too-tight bra, but today I had them all neat, tidy, and close to my chest. Alas, I cannot celebrate because as that one area fe... Read more
Five O'Clock Munch Hour
OK. I have fully discovered the deliciousness of food, but I have yet to understand the reasoning of my stomach. I normally donít get really hungry until 4 to 5 pm in the afternoon. It seems like right about then, my stomach becomes a ravenous m... Read more
Maxwell Concert in my Mouth
No fries, no burgers, no fish fillets . . . everything that I have put in my mouth for the last four days required me to either take out a pot, pan, or my keys to drive to a restaurant. Even then, I actually had to walk inside of the establishm... Read more
Fasting from Fast Food
Eating wise, today was a little bit better. Instead of being so hungry that I could eat a horse, I just nibbled on a little donkey instead. And, like an ass, I stubbornly refuse to completely admit guilt in this weight problem I ha... Read more
OK, OK, I just left McDonalds's, which I normally visit after a long day at work taking care of other people's kids. This night, I visited the clown's stomping grounds to get a late night meal because I knew that I didn't really want to cook any... Read more
In Another Life, I'd be a Poet, and a Good One
Today I wanted to rejoin my normal habits of eating out of emotion. I am not pleased that someone did not return my phone call. However, instead of eating tomorrow's lunch, I decided to write two less than mediocre poems to cure the intense wave... Read more
Teenage Mutant Muffin Tops
It's 2009. There is still too much booty in my pants and too much muffin on top. Last winter, I lost a grand 30 or so pounds that made me feel healthier, look better, and shine with accomplishment. Then I gained it back.
Now, I'm down in th... Read more