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Today's Reflection - All things pass eventually

Monday, September 26, 2011      1 comments

Sweet, sour, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted. - Chinese proverb All things pass eventually Have you ever heard the concept of "seasons" in life? It refers to an idea that nothing in life lasts forever, and with time, all t... Read more

Weekend Update... not very good.

Monday, September 26, 2011      1 comments

Well, the information about Terry going to Regina for the weekend was a lie. So was so much more. Terry was telling me I was welcome on the farm. In fact, he was inviting me to go. And then he'd go home and tell Harry - his room mate -... Read more

Pro's and Con's... emotional stuff to work through

Wednesday, September 21, 2011      1 comments

Okay. I miss Terry. I admit it. But I really missed him these past two weeks. But it wasn`t my doing that took him from me. Drugs? Someone else? Stress? Okay, I know what it was now. Yes, he was thinking of going back to Cheryl. I ... Read more

Dazed and Confused... more emotional stuff.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011      0 comments

I am seriously dazed. And a little confused. Last night I went to Tammy's. She kept insisting she didn't need help, but I went anyway. As soon as I got there, we left. She was so embarrased that she wanted to run, so we ran. St... Read more

Just feeling a little lost today

Tuesday, September 20, 2011      5 comments

Okay. Again, I'll tell you right off the bat, this has nothing to do with fitness, nutrition, or stuff like that. This is another working through my emotional crap in order to keep my own mental health blog. Sorry If you've been reading ... Read more

I never thought I'd see the day... more emotional stuff you may want to skip

Tuesday, September 20, 2011      5 comments

I spend the day yesterday in a bit of pain - from over 2 hours in the dental chair. But also because of the text Terry sent me first thing in the morning. But I refused to respond all day. About 8pm he texted and asked if I just didn'... Read more

Okay. He's a manipulator

Monday, September 19, 2011      6 comments

And I'm not going to take it anymore. Yes, I texted him this morning. BUT it was in response to his text. He got back to me, and I ignored it. Well, I didn't really ignore it. Just didn't respond. I need to keep moving away fro... Read more

So confused right now... Terry just texted me....

Monday, September 19, 2011      3 comments

I was feeling good. Even like I could dance again soon. Okay, I was still swinging to sad at times, but it was getting better. I made it about 36hours without textiing Terry. I was feeling strong. This morning I sent out all my good... Read more

The first 24hours is past...

Monday, September 19, 2011      3 comments

I haven't texted Terry in over 24hours. The last text to him was Saturday afternoon. Last night was hard, but I kept myself distracted. Texted lots of others. Focused on the beginning is going to be the hardest. And it was. But I... Read more

Just more figuring stuff out ... Emotional stuff you may want to skip

Sunday, September 18, 2011      5 comments

Last night I got a text message from Harry - Terry's room mate. I guess Terry came home drunk on Friday night about 4am and they talked. I mean really talked. And Harry brought me up. I guess I was right. Terry felt I was stalking him w... Read more

Today ... just quiet, sad contimplation

Saturday, September 17, 2011      2 comments

I finally got it yesterday. When I would text Terry and tell him I miss you, he'd hear where are you and why aren't you here with me. When I'd say I hope to see you later today, he'd hear me demanding to know where he was every minut... Read more

Still a basket case ... so sorry

Friday, September 16, 2011      7 comments

I am still not doing very well. I am starting to realize just how serious it all is though. And trying to work through it before I completely fall off the deep end. I got on the scale this morning. Down to 220lbs. That's almost 10lbs ... Read more

An update ... Finally got ahold of Terry...

Thursday, September 15, 2011      13 comments

I texted this morning and asked if he was talking to me anymore or not. He answered. Said he's just been busy. I was going to leave it at that, but you know me. Things are eating at me. Asked him if I could ask him a question. ... Read more

What a rough day yesterday... emotional stuff

Thursday, September 15, 2011      4 comments

I just looked back on my blogs yesterday. What a rough day it was. 5 blogs. All so full of hurt and anger. And I honestly wasn't able to get it all out. I guess it's a real eye opener. I was wondering if it was possible to fall that hard t... Read more

I don't know if I can do this tonight ... more emotional stuff. Sorry

Wednesday, September 14, 2011      9 comments

I didn't realize it, but I guess I've been hoping I'd hear from Terry today. Just a text. Let me know he knows I'm still alive. Okay. I didn't want to admit how much I still want to hear from him. Despite everything. I still care. A... Read more


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