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BLUEROSE73's Blogs

wow. He really is a hateful awful person...
Friday, September 30, 2011      7 comments

Been chatting with Terry's room mate. He just told me he saw the letter I left for Terry in his stuff. What kind of hateful person would do this? Share and laugh about a letter pouring out my feelings. How much I cared for him in the past. ... Read more
Loneliness vs Solitude.
Friday, September 30, 2011      4 comments

Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person experiences a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social relationships. However, it is a subjective experience. Loneliness has also been described as so... Read more
Need a plan of attack for the weekend
Friday, September 30, 2011      2 comments

I can already tell it's going to be a tough one. So this blog will be filled with stuff I want to get done this weekend. Things I can do, or will do. Go fishing Text Friends Go online - find videos and music. Nickleback! Get med... Read more
Today ... feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle.
Friday, September 30, 2011      3 comments

Wow. I am suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to text Terry. Why? I don't want him back. I don't really care. But where is this coming from? Am I that afraid of spending the weekend alone? What is wrong with me? I know I dodged a bull... Read more
Today ... moving forward
Thursday, September 29, 2011      4 comments

I am feeling so much better right now. I am feeling strong. And excited. Tammy wants to learn to dance. So I'm going to arrange space for us to practice. I think teaching her to dance might re-ignite my passion for it as well. I am actuall... Read more
Reflecting on this hurt again...
Thursday, September 29, 2011      6 comments

I was going to blog about my feelings, and how Terry was involved in them. But you know what, I finally realized that it's not Terry. Terry is just a symptom of something deeper. I need to look past him. Besides. There is nothing ther... Read more
Today ... baby steps forward!
Thursday, September 29, 2011      5 comments

I was sitting here at my computer realizing I was in a dangerous state this morning. I am just in a daze. Can't completely cheer up. Can't shake the Terry thoughts. And yes, I get it's not about Terry. I guess it never really was. It was a... Read more
Wednesday, September 28, 2011      5 comments

I have been reading all your responses to my blogs. And although some of you may come across as harsh, I get it. I really do. I've said harsher things to myself lately. I just sometimes need to hear them from an outside source to re-enforce ... Read more
I can't believe I almost...
Tuesday, September 27, 2011      10 comments

texted Terry again this morning. My last text to him was Saturday early in the day. No communication since. Except for my returning his stuff and that letter... I can't believe I almost ruined all my progress away from him by texting. I... Read more
Thank you ... and an update
Tuesday, September 27, 2011      5 comments

First off, thank you to everyone who reached out to let me know I am not alone here. It really did help. All your good thoughts and prayers did reach me. Thank you Last night I took the box I packed up with all of Terry's stuff back to h... Read more
Help. Need to know I'm not completely alone right now.
Monday, September 26, 2011      31 comments

Because it sure feels like I am. My heart is broken. I know I have to go through the grieving process. But it's only been made worse by the hateful things Terry's done in the past week to me. I feel so humiliated. Used. And jus... Read more
Today's Reflection - What do you stand for?
Monday, September 26, 2011      0 comments

Stand for something or fall for anything. - Anonymous What do you stand for? Have you ever thought about the power of having a purpose? Everyone needs something that gets them moving in the morning, keeps them going through the da... Read more
Today's Reflection - All things pass eventually
Monday, September 26, 2011      1 comments

Sweet, sour, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted. - Chinese proverb All things pass eventually Have you ever heard the concept of "seasons" in life? It refers to an idea that nothing in life lasts forever, and with time, all t... Read more
Weekend Update... not very good.
Monday, September 26, 2011      1 comments

Well, the information about Terry going to Regina for the weekend was a lie. So was so much more. Terry was telling me I was welcome on the farm. In fact, he was inviting me to go. And then he'd go home and tell Harry - his room mate -... Read more
Pro's and Con's... emotional stuff to work through
Wednesday, September 21, 2011      1 comments

Okay. I miss Terry. I admit it. But I really missed him these past two weeks. But it wasn`t my doing that took him from me. Drugs? Someone else? Stress? Okay, I know what it was now. Yes, he was thinking of going back to Cheryl. I ... Read more

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