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    BELDAME   48,817
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Impulse Control?

Saturday, February 28, 2015      1 comments

I was searching through the piles of little papers on my desk, trying to locate the login information for the Facebook page under a pseudonym that I forget to maintain. I found this, written on a piece of notebook paper. IMPULSE CONTROL A... Read more

Look, Rabbit! I Don't Git Mad No More.

Friday, February 06, 2015      2 comments

I had this brother, see. He committed suicide 14 years ago, an event I can honestly describe, with no melodrama or exaggeration, as the worst thing I've ever experienced. He took himself out in such a way that his body was not discovered for thr... Read more

Things That Are Less Painful Than Sciatica

Wednesday, February 04, 2015      3 comments

1. childbirth 2. placing head in desk drawer and slamming it shut repeatedly 3. cardboard paper cuts 4. purple nurples 5. the kind of menstrual cramps that make you do Lamaze 6.slipping on a wet floor and cracking your head off the fur... Read more

A Vision of the Future

Thursday, January 22, 2015      1 comments

The other evening I was sitting at the desk working on something, and had the TV on for background noise. "Sixteen Candles" was on, which is one of the movies I can pretty much quote verbatim from start to finish. It occurred to me that on... Read more

Random Thoughts Not to Have Whilst Having an MRI

Monday, January 19, 2015      1 comments

1. "Didn't they do this to Linda Blair in 'The Exorcist'??" 2. "I bet this is EXACTLY what it feels like to lie in a coffin."... Read more

*&*@#!! JANUARY @#$%$&!!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015      3 comments

I am sick to death of the temporary January fitness buffs. You know who I mean; the see the commercials for Planet Fatness' No-Money-Down membership, and they come in DROVES to sign up. You can tell the January Temps because they all have bran... Read more

It's Not Christmas Until Mr. Thomas and Boy George SAY It's Christmas

Tuesday, December 23, 2014      2 comments

A Child's Christmas in Wales - Dylan Thomas One Christmas was so much like the other, in those years around the sea-town corner now, out of all sound except the distant speaking of the voices I sometimes hear a moment before sleep, that I can ... Read more

Expressions That Don't Get Used Enough

Friday, December 19, 2014      7 comments

* nuttier than squirrel poo *I'll fix your little red wagon! *full of beans *Can't carry a tune in a bucket *Higgeldy-piggeldy *Oh, my stars and garters! *got a case of the vapors. *up to Mike's below Jake's to get a pack of Christ... Read more

Who Are You Calling Perverse?

Thursday, December 18, 2014      2 comments

Someone called me "perverse" yesterday; I've been called this before. Mr. Dictionary defines it as: 1. (of a person or their actions) showing a deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in a way that is unreasonable or unacceptable, often in... Read more


Tuesday, December 02, 2014      1 comments

When this guy found out he had fatal brain cancer, he wrote his own obituary: "Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a ye... Read more

A Friendly Tip from Auntie Beldame

Wednesday, November 19, 2014      1 comments

Never eat bacon the night before you go to have your cholesterol checked.... Read more

Sneaking Around with Journey and Night Ranger, or: Happy Birthday, Dave.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014      1 comments

Today would have been my brother's 55th birthday. In honor of this, I would like tell the story about one of the best Christmas presents I ever received: When I was in middle school, my holy-roller Christian school had a strict "No Secula... Read more

Fad Diets

Wednesday, November 12, 2014      0 comments

Interesting article on io9 today:
ant-eat-anything-1654378939 I'm going to print this out an make some copies, so that the next time some paleo enthusiast starts happing about ... Read more

On Razors

Monday, November 10, 2014      0 comments

Occam's Razor, also known as the Law of Economy or the Law of Parsimony: Plurality should not be posited without necessity, or: of two competing theories, the simpler explanation of an entity is preferred. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribut... Read more

An Inspirational Statement.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014      0 comments

Hello, hip bones! Long time, no see!... Read more

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