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Cumulative Aspartame Consumption
January 1, 1984 - October 4, 2016
(January 1,1984 approximate date aspartame introduced to market.)
32 years, 9 months, 3 days
Average weekly consumption: approximately 3240 mg.
(180 mg aspartame per can ... Read more
Proud swagger out of the schoolyard,
Waiting for the world's applause;
Rebel without a conscience,
Martyr without a cause.
Static on your frequency,
Electrical storm in your veins;
Raging at unreachable glory,
Straining at invis... Read more
I've been attempting to research the origins of the colloquialism, or slang expression: "Up to Mike's below Jake's to get a pack of Christmas cakes." My dad said this all the time when I was growing up; it's used as a response to "Where are you ... Read more
Interwebz Comment Section Comment of the Day (narcicism edition):
On a Sparkpeople article about "intuitive eating" and listening to one's "inner eater":
"My inner eater is a ravenous bog-troll who would eat us in to handicapped status in the space of six months. I have learned to shout her down."... Read more
I love these stupid interwebz questionnaires!
1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:15
2. How do you like your steak? RARE. Like, that bitch better MOOOO when I stick my fork in it.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cine... Read more
WORD OF THE DAY
PLATITUDE: a trite, meaningless, or prosaic statement generally directed at quelling social, emotional, or cognitive unease. Generally a form of thought-terminating cliche'.... Read more
Interwebz Comment Section Comment of the Day:
"Socialism is an elitist enterprise where a cabal of entrenched technocrats deny and disregard the laws of nature (specifically economics), trying to make an economy and its markets do what they want them to do in the way they want them to do it... Read more
(Clutches Chest) Elizabeth! It's the Big One!
Just had to buy Brunhilde a new clutch, to the tune of about $1500 bucks. Yikes. Left work Wednesday afternoon, started car, clutch went straight to the floor.
"Oh, @#*&!" I said.
Could NOT get it in to first gear, so had to pop the clutch i... Read more
Are You Out of Your Mind???
...is what I should have said to the Dr.
I went to the osteopath for a spinal adjustment, post-epidural shot which I got for this excruciating bulging-disc-sciatica business (now much better, thank you.)
My BP is up. Now, perhaps I'm jus... Read more
#1 Reason I Should Work From Home
*Disclosure: I'm half a tick off Asperger's on the autism scale, so my social skills leave something to be desired. This doesn't bother me, of course, but can be problematic in the workplace*
ME: "I'm not demanding respect or deference because... Read more
I was searching through the piles of little papers on my desk, trying to locate the login information for the Facebook page under a pseudonym that I forget to maintain. I found this, written on a piece of notebook paper.
A... Read more
Look, Rabbit! I Don't Git Mad No More.
I had this brother, see. He committed suicide 14 years ago, an event I can honestly describe, with no melodrama or exaggeration, as the worst thing I've ever experienced. He took himself out in such a way that his body was not discovered for thr... Read more
Things That Are Less Painful Than Sciatica
2. placing head in desk drawer and slamming it shut repeatedly
3. cardboard paper cuts
4. purple nurples
5. the kind of menstrual cramps that make you do Lamaze
6.slipping on a wet floor and cracking your head off the fur... Read more
A Vision of the Future
The other evening I was sitting at the desk working on something, and had the TV on for background noise. "Sixteen Candles" was on, which is one of the movies I can pretty much quote verbatim from start to finish.
It occurred to me that on... Read more
Random Thoughts Not to Have Whilst Having an MRI
1. "Didn't they do this to Linda Blair in 'The Exorcist'??"
2. "I bet this is EXACTLY what it feels like to lie in a coffin."... Read more