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BARDBL

SparkPoints
 

BARDBL's Blogs

Bad Idea of the Day
Saturday, October 08, 2011      2 comments

Fire has negative calories. Carbs and fats that burn away from your food do not enter your body. So -- flambée everything you eat! I'm going out for a wonderful flambéed caesar salad and bowl of flam chowder!... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Friday, September 16, 2011      1 comments

The legendary Niobium Plate of Merlin, it is said, has the power to render food served upon it non-caloric!... Read more
Bad idea of the day
Sunday, September 11, 2011      0 comments

Could a strong enough magnet *pull* calories out of food?... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Sunday, September 04, 2011      0 comments

Micro-portions! By the FDA rules, 2.5 calories rounds down to 0. OK, that means that one Dippin Dot, or half a gram of sugar, or 3/4 of an egg noodle, is absolutely FREE OF CALORIES! So go ahead! Have as many Dippin Dots or 3/4... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Friday, September 02, 2011      3 comments

Arrange your diet by month, not by day. That way, in 30-day months, you get a extra day's worth of food for absolutely free! February is a real treat!!!... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Thursday, September 01, 2011      2 comments

I'm pretty sure that food eaten in the dark because your power's still out days after the storm doesn't have calories either. None that can be seen.... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Saturday, August 27, 2011      3 comments

Food that has been left out in hurricane winds has had all the calories blown away! That does *not* work with just a tropical storm though. So all you New Englanders are out of luck!... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Sunday, August 21, 2011      0 comments

One slice of cake has, let us say, four hundred calories. But imagine reflecting the slice of cake in a mirror. Now, there are two slices: one with four hundred calories, the other with none. On the average, then, each has two hundred cal... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Monday, August 15, 2011      3 comments

You know about the Blood Type Diet, don't you? Type O needs extra protein, type A shouldn't have red meat, etc? You know how the Blood Type Diet never works very well? It's *NOT* because the theory behind the diet is 100% bogus. ... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Friday, August 12, 2011      6 comments

Birthday cake, eaten on one's birthday, has no calories. Don't just use this to get one piece, though. Work it! Keep track of other time zones! If it's your birthday in Samoa, then you --- North-American you --- get an extra piece for br... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Thursday, August 11, 2011      2 comments

New Cardio Exercise: Ant Stomp! Get one (1) anthill, preferably one which is sending evil ant warriors into your nicely air-conditioned home. Put on your favorite exercise music on the stereo. Get into sneakers. Strap a 50-lb weight to your ... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Wednesday, August 10, 2011      2 comments

Just remind yourself -- "Hunger is Pounds Leaving The Body".... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Tuesday, August 09, 2011      2 comments

Things to do instead of eating: 1. Build a catapult out of hospital tubing; fire snacks at the neighbors across the street. 2. Pack food into boxes and mail to "Starving People, Africa". The post office will know what to do. 3. H... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Monday, August 08, 2011      2 comments

The Cappucino Workout! Drink enough coffee (or your caffeine of choice -- I go for cheap British tea myself, 'cause you can brew the stuff extra-strong and it doesn't taste bad) to get your heart racing. You are aiming for a typical cardio pul... Read more
Bad Idea of the Day
Sunday, August 07, 2011      3 comments

What if doing the dishes was first-rate cardio exercise? I'm not saying that it is ... but ... there are *NO* scientific studies saying that it's not. None. Not one. Sure, it's a chore. But getting double value out of your chores is... Read more

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