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    ATRANSFORMATION   36,735
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Happy "Anniversy", My Sweet

Friday, June 13, 2014      8 comments

So not only is today the 11 month anniversary of losing my dear husband, but it would have been our 26th wedding anniversary. Or "anniversy" as we called it. Funny story…. Hallmark apparently either invented or cashed in on anniversar... Read more

Just when I thought it was getting better….

Tuesday, May 27, 2014      14 comments

I relapsed. In many ways. And there are reasons and/or excuses. First of all, this past weekend was the 27th anniversary of when we met. It was at the annual Sacramento Jazz Festival. I was with a girlfriend, and we had to find s... Read more

Ten months already….whew.

Monday, May 12, 2014      8 comments

Sometimes it seems like a split second. Sometimes like an eternity… Much of the time I look back and it is a blur. The "widow's fog" as they say…. and indeed. I have lapses in my memory of those first several months. Occasionally I will rea... Read more

Date Update and More!

Tuesday, May 06, 2014      11 comments

OK. FUNNY story… My sister (who lives about 25 miles away) called me last night while she was walking with a neighbor. The neighbor is also a "single senior" and has, over the years, dated several men off dating websites. So my sister was s... Read more

DEPRESSED? Who me???

Tuesday, April 29, 2014      12 comments

Yup. Depressed. For nine months, 16 days, and 15 hours. At first it was the shock, the numbness, the fear, the panic, the paranoia and the confusion...then as reality set it, I began to find myself in the midst of major howling, wailing, f... Read more

My First Date

Sunday, April 27, 2014      17 comments

From the beginning.... I decided a few months ago that I am too young (at least at heart) to spend the rest of my life alone. So I checked out dating websites. Whew. Motorcycles, motorhomes, hunters and fishermen, or party animals. Guess when yo... Read more

Nine months?

Sunday, April 13, 2014      14 comments

And I am still breathing. I truly didn't think I would survive. Truly. But here I am. Crossing another timeline. And I am beginning to REALLY believe life can be good once again. For the past nine months it has mostly been the old "fa... Read more

Swiss cheese. A metaphor of life....

Saturday, March 22, 2014      14 comments

So, whew. It has been over eight months since my life was so drastically altered. In that heartbeat. In that millisecond. In that blink that seared the image into my brain forever. That vision of him floating underwater, in the deep end of our p... Read more

The first of the firsts....

Sunday, October 27, 2013      12 comments

His birthday. Today. I bought VIP tickets several months ago to see Alton Brown. We were going with another couple and it was going to be a surprise for him. He would have LOVED it! I feel so bad the seats sat empty. I couldn't go wit... Read more

100 days

Sunday, October 20, 2013      10 comments

Another milestone. 100 days. Some are better than expected. Some are worse than one can imagine. And then there are some that remind me I will make it. I actually know that I won't always hate my life like I do now. That I will... Read more

Missing the "yoo hoo's"

Monday, September 30, 2013      15 comments

Whenever my husband or I walked through the front door, we'd shout "Yoo-Hoo!" to announce our presence...the other would respond back with the same. Whenever I come home to our empty house, I want to shout Yoo Hoo! and to hear a response... ... Read more

Exactly two months ago today....

Thursday, September 12, 2013      17 comments

The entire world as I knew it was shattered. My heart was broken. My life blew up. Beyond repair. And here I am still wondering WHO I am without my husband. WHERE I am, when I am so lost and confused. And I wonder just how many tears a person mu... Read more

Mourner's Rights

Thursday, August 29, 2013      10 comments

I know I am not alone. I know there are many people who have experienced loss FAR greater than mine. Although, this has been the most difficult journey of my life, I am on it...not by choice, that is for sure. Some days I can barely breath... Read more

Post op blues....

Tuesday, August 27, 2013      14 comments

I know some of you have "known me" for years...way back, when I was losing weight for a surgery to repair a large umbilical hernia. And knew me through all the struggles post op. Five surgeries in six months due to complications...it seems like ... Read more

Things a widow learns...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013      13 comments

First, how much I hate that word. Widow. I am now a member of a club that no one wants to belong to. Ugh. Next, how much I really loved my husband. I always knew I did...but now, when he is NOT here, those little things, all those little th... Read more


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