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    1STATEOFDENIAL   151,187
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Appts in Philly & Mlke, allergic reaction, & more updates

Friday, May 25, 2012      4 comments

I've been too out of it lately to do much for blogs, but I just took the time to write out a huge entry for Caring Bridge, so I'm going to share that will all of you instead of retyping it. There's more I'd like to say to all of you, but I don't... Read more

New PICC causing problems, but it's gunna stay put

Thursday, May 10, 2012      4 comments

Well, the PICC was placed on Monday and it's been a nightmare since. The first night I got less than an hour of sleep before I had to be on the transport at 6:30 in the morning to go to 2 doctor appointments that weren't worth it. The 2nd I coul... Read more

I was accepted for disability transportation

Saturday, May 05, 2012      6 comments

Just one quick update to share: As of today I've been approved for disability transportation. This means I don't have to worry about driving in traffic and then dealing with an appointment, long errand, etc also. I can drive now and again when I... Read more

May is going to be busy; and there was a fundraiser for me today!

Thursday, May 03, 2012      5 comments

Well, I'm getting back on TPN next week. Monday they're putting the PICC back in. So I've got an appt to get a massage tomorrow. I'm also going to be taking some nice long showers before my appt on Mon because once the PICC is in I'll be back to... Read more

I finally emailed the Ellen Show

Wednesday, April 25, 2012      8 comments

I know I said months ago I wanted to ask Ellen for help. Unfortunately, every time I tried to sit down and write something I completely blanked on what I wanted to say. Yesterday when in the shower my mind broke the wall down and I came up with ... Read more

Hospital stay and how it's continuing to affect me

Monday, April 16, 2012      3 comments

I have the most extreme amount of exhaustion going on right now. A large portion of it is emotional exhaustion. I've spent so much of my emotional energy on fighting to be positive while people around me in person are dragging me backwards with ... Read more

Worsening allergic reactions and stalled weight gain

Monday, April 09, 2012      3 comments

I had a really rough night last night. The bumps and horrible itching have continued to spread. It took hours for me to even attempt to fall asleep because it was so bad. It feels like little bugs with knives for feet are running up and down my ... Read more

Lost my job, EDS testing, allergic reactions, and family problems

Sunday, April 08, 2012      7 comments

In my last blog I didn't mention that I found out since I can't return to work this Thursday (the end of my FMLA), I'm out of a job. Can't do anything about it, but it's terribly scary. What in the heck reason do I have to get well enough to wor... Read more

I feel let down by those around me.

Saturday, April 07, 2012      6 comments

I'm feeling hurt. My sister and brother in law are in town to visit the Mall of America and don't want to see me. They're literally 10 minutes away, I rarely see them, they've never been to my house (I've owned it 2 1/2 years), and they're makin... Read more

I had a breakdown today

Thursday, April 05, 2012      7 comments

Today was just a horrible day. My insurance company is really going out of their way to not have to cover a medication - in doing so it could mean surgery or worse. My long term disability company must be trying to kill me because they are being... Read more

Oh the irony - burgers and fries forever! haha

Tuesday, April 03, 2012      5 comments

Here is the new pj set I bought the other day. I was looking for cheap, soft, and fits without falling off. (They're size small from walmart and still a little big on me, espe... Read more

The good news is I gained weight...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012      6 comments

The bad news is it is wholly because of the TPN. My ability to eat and drink without pain keeps falling. I've gained about 6-7 lbs, but it's because of the 1577 calories per bag (right now it takes 24 hours to get in a bag, so if I pause it for ... Read more

News on THE GUY

Saturday, March 24, 2012      3 comments

Found out in a back and forth text session with THE GUY yesterday that he has a girlfriend, though not one he's currently too fond of. He thinks she's stupid and ditzy. Though that was probably his upset at the rain and her not wanting or unable... Read more

Buttons and blood bags

Wednesday, March 21, 2012      2 comments

Are any of my sparkfriends artistically inclined? Have any of you ever designed an image to be used in raising funds? In trying to find some buttons, patches, etc that I can use to 'dress up' my TPN backpack I came across www.cafepr... Read more

Roller coaster days, PICC problems, and the charmer

Sunday, March 18, 2012      4 comments

Imagine being told that one little mistake on your part could kill you in a few hours. Now imagine that the mistake can come anywhere within a long, somewhat complicated process and you must do that process every day for a few months. So pay att... Read more

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