Bad evening - 4 days til Mayo.
I got a massage tonight. This time it wasn't an attempt to make my digestive system start working again, it was just to try to get some of the poison out of my muscles that's built up from this past week of having my intestines not working (food... Read more
Best laid plans planning plan
Yeah, my freaking out about Mayo and the crap going on at work has me totally stressed out. Thus I'm back to barely eating again. I'm trying to stick to my liquid/easy-to-digest diet but I'm so hungry that I'm eating things that are not digestin... Read more
Less than a week until Mayo
I posted this to someone on a team, but wanted to blog it too.
Interesting thing today, I was talking to a guy at work who's been really nice to me and he said he can see in my face that I'm losing more weight. My weight is the same, but I ... Read more
The crow who flew backwards
It is quite windy in MN today. At some points when I was driving in my car a gust of wind would randomly hit me and I'd have to really fight it. Well, I was driving down the road and hit a huge gust (some gusts are hitting 40-50 mph) and out of ... Read more
Perfection isn't perfect.
Okay so I have perfectionist issues. I don't expect others around me to be perfect, but I want it in myself. I not only want to KNOW everything, I want to UNDERSTAND everything and how it all fits together. If something interests me in any way, ... Read more
I didn't realize it was that many.
Today I started writing a list of symptoms to show the docs at mayo. Anything that is clearly not ordinary, has lasted for more than several months, and has been detrimental to my life is going to be written down. I also hope to give a general i... Read more
This condition takes so much away from me.
Tonight I was so hoping to go out. I have some acquaintances who are a cover band. The lead singer's 40th birthday was earlier this week and they're celebrating with a show tonight. I really wanted to go, but throughout the day I've been feeling... Read more
I want to share something.
(If you stop reading after the first sentence then you are probably illustrating the point of my blog.)
I've never been overweight; actually I spent plenty of time in high school being underweight. Yet I was beaten up for being too fat, the... Read more
I need to get writing
Awhile ago I was talking about emailing the Ellen show. I keep telling myself to do it, but I keep putting it off because I really don't know what to say. I keep asking myself 'what about my Tubie Duckie project and my own struggles will draw at... Read more
Same story, different day
I haven't been blogging lately because there isn't much to tell. I've spent half of each of the last 4 weeks in DTP flares. I feel like I'm falling apart as this keeps getting worse. I'm still scared about going to Mayo and leaving without getti... Read more
When will this weeping generation dance again?"
Something I'd like to share today, on the 10th anniversary of something all Americans, and many around the world, will never forget. I don't particularly like the pictures in the video, so I suggest minimizing it and just listening to the sound.... Read more
Took pictures for evidence
One thing I didn't mention about my last Endo appointment was that he wanted me to take a picture of my distended abdomen. Not sure why, since a picture won't really do it justice. I decided to take it a step further and I've taken multiple pict... Read more
The cravings for normal food got to me.
One huge annoyance: seeing food that makes me want food and knowing I can't have it. There are plenty of times when I say I just want to eat a normal meal no matter how much it hurts me, but I know it's a horrible idea. I was watching the Supern... Read more
Got the first set of records to go to Mayo - now reconsidering
It's simple: about half of the records from my current primary clinic and the affiliated hospital keep saying 'need psych consult', 3/4s show doubt in most of what I've said, too many basically say 'can find no cause for the symptoms, nothing wr... Read more
Mayo appt is set up
Apparently my Endo doesn't want me putting things off any longer. His office called Mayo Clinic and set up an appointment for me. Luckily, I didn't have to reschedule because I'll be able to take off work that day. Here's the plan:
Tues, Oc... Read more