ZMICHE's SparkPeople Blog ZMICHE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The Night My Treadmill Burned Down The Garage <BR> I haven't blogged on Sparkpeople in a LONG time. Life has pulled me in all sorts of directions over the past two years. The past nine months have been focused on my mental health. I'm currently in my third program since last June - four hours a day, five days a week. <BR> <BR> A couple of weeks ago (January 27th), I was feeling particularly low. At four pm, I finally decided that I needed to get out of bed and go on the treadmill for a while. I had a lot of negative energy that I neede... Fri, 9 Feb 2018 12:05:11 EST Stop Comparing <img src=""> Wed, 2 Sep 2015 21:11:18 EST If you are struggling... <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> Wed, 2 Sep 2015 21:07:21 EST Self Advocacy This week I attended a group where the activity was about improving self advocacy. <BR> <BR> What is self-advocacy? It's acting on your own best interest and promoting your long term happiness. A lack of self-advocacy can contribute to low self-esteem, depression, and your needs not getting met. <BR> <BR> "Getting my wants and needs satisfied belongs at the top of my daily to do list. If I don't make myself first priority, who will? If I get my needs satisfied I will have more energy to sat... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 15:32:39 EST Gift to Myself I have been thinking about getting myself this for quite a while but I couldn't justify buying it for the longest time. A couple of weeks ago DH and I discussed it and we decided to go ahead and order it for me. Not an expense we were planning on but I feel we made a great decision. <BR> <BR> This is me trying out my new treadmill! DH takes terrible pictures but you can see the treadmill and my bike trainer in the background too. <BR> <img src=" Fri, 26 Dec 2014 20:15:41 EST Update for my spark friends Some of you know that I was recently in the hospital. It has taken me a little bit of time to be able to share this like I wanted to share it on here but I feel like if someone can benefit from it than it is worth it. <BR> <BR> I got admitted to the hospital on November 17th. I had gotten home from work and changed clothes to head to my therapy appointment afterwards. DH decided to come with me to pick up his medical records. Well, the first half of this therapy appointment went fairly good ... Fri, 19 Dec 2014 01:05:44 EST Super Hero Strength My recent super hero strength that I didn't know I had until I've had to use it is way more mental than it is physical. <BR> <BR> I've talked/blogged a little bit about it already on spark so some of you may know a little bit already. <BR> <BR> I've seen quite a few therapists in my lifetime for many different situations. I don't think I'd be the person I am today without their help. Heck, I don't even think I'd be here now if it wasn't for a few of them. <BR> <BR> I started seeing my mos... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 18:56:38 EST Clothespin Chart I finally sat down today and worked on the chart I have been wanting to make for myself. I got the basic idea for it from pinterest. Since I have been struggling with the basic things lately I wanted to make this to see if it would help me do better. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It's not perfect by any means but I feel its a good start. I will probably use foam board eventually with the clothespins instead when I find ... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 19:48:25 EST Expectations for BLC 26 etc. I have many expectations for the next 12 weeks. However I know that if I try to incorporate them all it won't be pretty. Especially considering that I have been struggling lately to just get the basics down. <BR> <BR> Three of the bigger things are <BR> <BR> 1. Exercise <BR> 2. Tracking <BR> 3. Food planning and prep <BR> <BR> I feel like once I can get in a good routine with all of those I will see a major difference in weight loss and overall less of an overwhelmed and tired feeling. <BR... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 22:40:21 EST Recent thoughts and W30 plans I've been thinking about this blog post for most of the last couple of months. It has crossed my mind often but I just don't know what to write about lately. <BR> <BR> I have been working on ways to get my health back on track, but then again I feel like I haven't been trying very hard. I sit and daydream for what seems like forever and haven't really accomplished much of anything. <BR> <BR> A couple of things that have crossed my mind in recent months. <BR> <BR> 1. I want to do a Whole 3... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 19:48:17 EST I'm a half marathon finisher! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I signed up for this half marathon at the end of March. I've been pretty confident in my decision to register for this race. This was the layout of the half marathon: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Me before the race! <BR> <BR> I used run keeper to try to keep track of my pace and such... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 22:09:41 EST May 6 & 10, 2014 A couple of nature walks with DH: <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I actually love going out walking. We tend to take the camera with us for wildlife pictures which is why the pace is on the slower side with stopping to see different things. Right now it's been fun to focus on getting moving and not putting too much stress on speed or even di... Sat, 24 May 2014 21:26:34 EST May 18 & 22, 2014 Bunker Hill Bike Ride: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I didn't work but had to push myself to get out of the house for this, not bad for not feeling up for doing anything. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> DH and I had fun going up and down the local streets in the neighborhood. We both agree that bike riding is a great thing to do together. <BR> <BR> I'm trying ... Sat, 24 May 2014 21:20:14 EST Saturday May 24, 2014 DH and I were up early this morning to head to the fertility center to drop off his sample for analysis. Since it's about 30 minutes out we decided to check out some of the outdoors in the area. <BR> <BR> First we went to a prairie center that was quite neat. It sort of makes me feel like I should have got a degree in something environmental. Not that I can't in the future but just saying maybe it would have worked out better. For now though, DH and I try to volunteer when we can and visit ... Sat, 24 May 2014 21:10:53 EST May 3 & 4, 2014 Fitness Saturday: <BR> <BR> An almost 8 mile bike ride at Busse Woods: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My phone shut off in the middle and I missed a big downhill portion but this is still a good overall idea of it. <BR> <BR> Sunday: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=" Mon, 5 May 2014 22:05:23 EST BLC 25 Goals: <BR> <BR> Starting Weight=286 <BR> Goal=259 <BR> <BR> <BR> Finish Biggest Loser walking half on June 14th. My mom and I are doing the race together, can't wait! <BR> <BR> Figure out my migraine issue. I have been pretty active this week despite dealing with them but it's no fun to constantly have more than a regular headache. After I get my insurance situation figured out, get in to see the neurologist. Also need to find a sleep doctor to help me with my narcolepsy medication. So ... Mon, 5 May 2014 21:51:12 EST Run For It 5k <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today I did a virtual 5k. Official time is 57 minutes 39 seconds, not sure why run keeper has 1:01 but either way I still finished. :) My pace is looking like somewhere between 18 and 19 minutes per mile so that's exciting! <BR> <BR> Just under two months until the half marathon and I have to be under 22 minutes per mile. Feeling pretty good about being about to finish it though! <BR> <BR> I full out ran today o... Sat, 19 Apr 2014 21:22:05 EST One year since work injury Today marks a year since my injury at work. Hard to believe that it has already been that long. I thought I would be in a much better place not only physically but also mentally by now. On a positive note I do have things in my life that are helping with both of these issues. <BR> <BR> I see a chiropractor regularly now which has helped with the migraines, tmj issues, back spasms, vertigo, etc <BR> <BR> To help with the mental process of it I have been in therapy. At first I had an individu... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 22:51:48 EST Thought of the Week <img src=""> Tue, 25 Mar 2014 21:03:36 EST Commitment Pt 2 It's offficial!! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> It's a little hard to see but I am registered for a half in June! <BR> <BR> I'm excited to prove to myself and others that I can do it! The amount of people in my life that are telling me I shouldn't set my goal at a half is shameful, but I am going to love proving them WRONG! Bring it! Sun, 2 Mar 2014 22:06:40 EST Commitment I had a re-exam at the chiropractor today, basically checking on how my body has been doing lately. I will get the results on Friday. <BR> <BR> But I was led to make a huge decision today. <BR> <BR> I would have had to pay almost $200 with no insurance for today's visit with the re-exam, adjustment, and muscle stimulation therapy. I was paying $36 but no thanks to Obama they had to change their cash policy. Second option was to pay $40 for the adjustment, and then $10 for the therapy part,... Wed, 26 Feb 2014 20:55:09 EST You Need to have a Breakdown to have a Breakthrough I don't have much to put into words right now but I am definitely going through a breakdown lately. I don't know what is holding me back from my goals but I am doing downright awful! No matter what I try it just doesn't seem to give me enough momentum to keep going. I know I need help, which is what I have been trying to find through therapy but I'm not finding quite the things I need right now. <BR> <BR> Part of me just wants to withdraw from everything and not give a dang but that is part... Tue, 4 Feb 2014 23:13:43 EST Birthday! <em>383</em> 26 on January 26th! <em>383</em> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Sun, 2 Feb 2014 20:42:38 EST February Agenda & Goals 4- Ultrasound [follow-up imaging from mammogram] <BR> 5- Work training for becoming a scrapbooking instructor <BR> 6- Individual and Group Therapy <BR> 8- Volunteer Meeting 10-12 <BR> 12- DH's therapy <BR> 13- Individual Therapy <BR> 17- Independent Medical Exam <BR> 20- Individual and Group Therapy <BR> 22- DH's semen analysis <BR> 27- Individual Therapy <BR> <BR> *Need to schedule follow-up with sleep doctor for end of February/early March. <BR> <BR> Goals: <BR> Meet with women's care do... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 19:57:46 EST 347.01 I'm not sure how to explain this so it makes sense. But I will give it a go. <BR> <BR> Today I saw a sleep doctor that specifically deals with sleep disorders. I haven't used my CPAP since February of 2013 which is what the little SD card shows them. <BR> <BR> The thing about a CPAP and a sleep mask is that if you are not comfortable with the mask, you will be unsuccessful with the machine. I haven't had a good doctor to help me specifically with the sleep problems for a while. <BR> <BR... Wed, 22 Jan 2014 21:35:32 EST SMART GOALS SMART GOALS for BLC 24 <BR> <BR> Lose 26 pounds. To get down to 259 by the end of these 12 weeks. <BR> <BR> Why? I need to start putting myself first and making my health a priority! No more excuses! <BR> <BR> No more buying chocolate. If I do not buy it, then I will not have it in the house. If I don't have it in the house then I can’t eat it. (Shout out to Shelby for this one, I’m totally the same way with chocolate!) <BR> <BR> Exercise 10 minutes a day every day. <BR> <BR> Push myself... Mon, 20 Jan 2014 12:51:28 EST Meet Sammy! This is Sammy, my chiweenie (Chihuahua dachshund mix), he looks like a puppy but will be 2 soon! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> He has been spoiled staying at 'grandmas' house this week! He gets to sleep in the bed with me here, at home he sleeps in the kitchen on his little bed. <BR> <BR> He has been very well behaved though, so proud of my pup! <em>... Mon, 20 Jan 2014 12:14:53 EST Start to 2014 and MRI Results The new year hasn't really gotten off to the right start. I honestly can't believe that it's January 10th already! <BR> <BR> I can't really say too much about what has gone on the last couple of weeks but it has been stressful and very anxiety filled. <BR> <BR> Today I picked up my MRI results: <BR> <BR> Minimal degenerative disc disease with Schmorl node formation at the T12-L1 and L1-L2 levels. At L2-3 there is minimal disc bulging and mild facet hypertrophy resulting in mild encroachmen... Fri, 10 Jan 2014 22:11:17 EST Message from a Friend SO I wasn't planning on jumping on the whole reflecting on 2013 bandwagon...BUT I heard something today from a close friend that struck me. <BR> <BR> At lot has happened this year that would be tough for anyone. <BR> <BR> In January I went to Panama on a mission trip, it was an amazing experience. The down side of it was having to listen to every reason in the book from my hubby on why I shouldn't go. But I stood my ground, listening to him for 3 months beforehand and looking back I made a ... Tue, 31 Dec 2013 17:42:42 EST January Plans Currently in the process of getting things situated for getting back on track in my journey to better health. Yes, I know there is no perfect time, just do it and get on with it already. No amount of preparing will ever make me feel like I am 100% ready, which is the reality with anything. <BR> <BR> I'm relieved to finally be going for my MRI tomorrow, Monday Dec. 30th. I'm trying not to think about what comes after that yet. I have a feeling that it is going to take quite a while to get to... Sun, 29 Dec 2013 16:39:14 EST 2014 #Creating Beautiful Keep a handwritten journal. <BR> <BR> If you bite it, write it! Log every BLT! <BR> <BR> Eat Paleo. Aim for a Whole 30. No Paleo-fied desserts. <BR> <BR> Plan ahead so I always have water and healthy options for snacks and meals. <BR> <BR> Set a routine and follow it. Set timers if necessary. <BR> <BR> Sweat at least once a day. Explore new exercises. Find ones that are doable and stick with them. <BR> Sun, 29 Dec 2013 15:38:29 EST HSG is done! Awesome! #Creating Beautiful So um...just going to warn you that this gets detailed. If you don't like hearing about medical things then don't continue reading this. Just needed a place to share my thoughts and I realize some of you may think that it is too personal but that's life. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I had my test this morning. I was a little nervous but when the doctor came in she told me that I don't have to be nervous and it's no big deal. She is seriously an awesome doctor. <BR> <BR> So anyway, I had to... Thu, 19 Dec 2013 21:23:22 EST Creating Beautiful: Surviving the Holidays I really don't have much to say about the holidays. We don't have any extravagant plans. No big family gathering or anything. <BR> <BR> We did get up some decorations outside (nativity and Santa/Mrs. Clause with some elves and a snowman). The tree still hasn't made it out yet. I haven't even thought about wrapping presents or even finished buying them for that matter. And I probably won't finish buying them because it doesn't really matter right now. I really don't care what people think ab... Tue, 17 Dec 2013 22:17:39 EST Creating Beautiful : Struggles with Infertility If you get defensive or offended easily than this is not the blog for you. I just needed to get this out of my head for a while now and it's finally coming to words I can express. <BR> <BR> I am not sure why but tonight I just have this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I feel so down and out. I feel like a good cry is in the near future but the tears just won’t come to me. I think it might have something to do with going to the women’s care office today for blood work. I’ve been having a tou... Fri, 13 Dec 2013 20:51:19 EST Emotional Mess Part 2 Well, as luck would have it, AF decided to show up today. And even though I was wearing one of my lovely cloth pads (sorry if that is too much info but cloth is AWESOME), I still wasn't prepared. I knew I didn't quite feel right at work today, I was nauseous for a while and then it went away and then I got super bad cramps. It sucked. <BR> <BR> So first thing I did when I got home was take a nice warm shower and down some Tylenol and Immodium. Then I called the OBGYN office and left a mess... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 19:02:34 EST Emotional Mess Not sure what part of my life to write a blog about at the moment. I really am a mess. Totally freaked out at work today then came home and put on Netflix and got all emotional over like nothing. WTF! <BR> <BR> Seriously though, my anxiety is pretty high lately. <BR> <BR> I think a big part of it is the car problems I had Sunday night, causing me to call off of work. I didn't really want to get stuck somewhere with a broken down car. What is killing me now is having to rely on others to ge... Tue, 10 Dec 2013 20:56:34 EST all because someone threw a box So I found something out today that I think is rather important to me being able to further recover from the ladder injury. It still may take a while to deal with the emotions and feelings of it but in time I hope to feel better. <BR> <BR> I happened to walk into the back room at work today and the manager saw me duck away from the ladder that this new kid was moving, same one that fell on me. So he explained to him why I reacted that way. I didn't mind that, no big deal. But to find out the... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 19:22:50 EST Therapy Assessment Yesterday I went to my assessment. It took almost 2 hours. <BR> <BR> First I dealt with the intake person who took my basic information. Then I met with Ron who is an LCPC (Lisensed Clinical Professional Counselor). I talked very in depth about a lot that has happened in the past from childhood through high school and college to present. <BR> <BR> He started the session with a blank piece of paper and took notes throughout it. Some of the notes he highlighted, not sure what that means (yet... Thu, 3 Oct 2013 21:02:49 EST Therapy Background I'm doing terrible lately with my weight loss journey. Someone should slap some sense into me, good grief charlie brown this is ridiculous! <BR> <BR> On a different note- the purpose of this blog is to talk about my therapy. <BR> <BR> First of all, I know nothing I say on here can make anyone understand exactly what it's like to deal with these things. <BR> <BR> Most of my recent problems are related to when I was injured in April. First was the physical pain. I am still dealing with physi... Tue, 1 Oct 2013 21:42:08 EST BLC 23 Goals 1. Track food & water intake. Striving for a whole 30. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 2. Commit more to working out. Don't let a hip 'strain' sideline me from weight loss. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 3. Be honest with myself. I'm doing this for me! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 4. Don't be afraid to ask others fo... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 14:45:39 EST ER <em>273</em> Yesterday I went to the ER for my hip. They took x-rays and gave me some motrin there and a script for a muscle relaxer. It's not dislocated or fractured but that doesn't mean there is not something wrong, it's something that an orthopedic doctor has to look at more. So they called it a hip strain. They want me to follow up with an orthopedic doctor Monday, but with no approval from workers comp I can't yet. I don't currently have regular health insurance due to a paperwork iss... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 13:55:50 EST Therapy Thoughts <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I enjoyed having a massage today. I don't know what I'm going to do when I can't get them weekly anymore. To be honest though, I wasn't expecting them to be covered under workers comp so it's been nice. I haven't brought up the cost as I don't really want to know right now. lol. I know I can't afford to do it every week though but thinking about keeping at least once a month or possibly every other week depending ... Tue, 10 Sep 2013 22:36:46 EST Zucchini Boats <BR> Some days it seems like I am trying super hard and getting nowhere. It's day 3 back on Whole 30 and I am doing fairly well with avoiding cravings and anything unhealthy. So yeah for that! <BR> <BR> I do feel like I am stuck in a plateau though and if that's the case I have to figure out how to change that. I can't seem to stay below 260 and it's ANNOYING! All these other people can eat complete junk and still lose weight so, what the fudge batman?! {not intended for anyone specific,... Sat, 7 Sep 2013 20:44:52 EST Need a plan to stick with Whole 30/Paleo I am back into Whole 30..again! My life is like a roller coaster right now so this my friends is a HUGE accomplishment for me. <BR> <BR> <BR> Thinking ahead a little bit here but want to be prepared for it~random blog post over here! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> The last weekend of September I will be traveling but I am staying at my parents so it shouldn't be too bad to prepare healthy food. Although we are having a birthday party for my sister that I have to figure out some things that I ... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 20:25:25 EST September Goals I have a hard time believing that today is September 1st already! I have had this goal blog on my mind for a couple days already but just now had the time (and clear mind) to sit down and write it out. <BR> <BR> So one of the bigger goals I've had for myself that's been in the back of my mind for a while is to reach onederland by my birthday in January. That means I have..... <BR> <BR> 4 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days <BR> <BR> Total Days:147 <BR> <BR> Total Weeks:21 <BR> <BR> reach... Sun, 1 Sep 2013 14:05:29 EST Day 1. Take 3. Made it through the weekend, but fell off the Whole 30 plan. I definitely learned from it though as I got myself pretty sick from it. I didn't even stray that much, just a piece of birthday cake and some soda and I also had a plain hamburger from McDonald's. Long story. Never again, especially with being away from home and having no Imodium on hand to calm my stomach. So back to the feel good plan of Whole 30...yes please! Tomorrow is going to be day 1..again! <BR> <BR> It was a fairly stres... Mon, 26 Aug 2013 20:46:34 EST Dealing with Stress (and SI) I've been wanting to write this for a few days now but just haven't felt up to it quite yet until now. <BR> <BR> Its been 4.5 months since my injury (4/9/13). I never thought it would be such a long recovery process for me. At this point I am going to the chiropractor 3 times a week and also getting a 60 minute deep tissue massage once a week. I only had one week off of work with a couple long weekends thrown in the mix, otherwise besides a lift restriction for about a month or so when I ret... Sat, 24 Aug 2013 20:06:16 EST BLC 22 Final Week <em>45</em> Identify at least one thing you did right in the last 12 weeks. <BR> <BR> I ate 95% healthy and increased my water intake. I have lost over 20 pounds this round. Yay!! <BR> <BR> <em>265</em> What is your goal for between rounds? <BR> <BR> Maintain in the 250s, preferably be in the lower 250s by the next round. <BR> <BR> <em>289</em> What is your plan for reaching your goal between rounds? <BR> <BR> I plan to stick to my Whole 30 plan. <BR> <BR> <em>488</em> Take o... Sat, 24 Aug 2013 19:11:31 EST New Plan... Well, as you have probably figured out by now, I only made it to day 25 of whole 30. I really wanted to keep up the momentum but a crisis situation came up with DH and it was too much to keep up with everything at the moment. I am still in the process of helping him work out the situation but I full intend to get back on track. <BR> <BR> I decided to get the "It starts with Food" book from amazon and I will be reading that this week, with a plan to be back on track by the end of the weekend... Tue, 13 Aug 2013 19:19:27 EST 24: Whole 30 Journey Worked from 4-9:30 today. It was okay but I had to condense product together to make more product fit into the space and relabel. No wonder why I never get things organized at home. haha. <BR> <BR> I had bad cramps this morning and thought it was something I ate last night. Turned out to be AF showing up so the routine sort of went by the wayside today as I was curled up in bed with bad cramps. <em>28</em> <BR> <BR> I went for my massage and adjustment today. While I was checking in th... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 20:39:55 EST