WMUGRAD's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=WMUGRAD WMUGRAD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Back To What Works http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708751 I was talking with my husband this last weekend about what you see or hear in social media and TV regarding diets. We talked about how we are inundated with "do's and dont's" constantly, what to eat and what not to eat, etc. I made the decision that I am done attempting to follow or try any more "fad" or "new" trend whether it is gluten free, no dairy, low carb, and so forth because what I find is that is does not work for me- it is not sustainable in the long term. Not eating whole wheat, hi... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 09:29:57 EST Getting into my groove http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5705100 DH and I went on vacation last week/end to Maine. We traveled 23 hours to Acadia National Park where we set up camp and took off walking, hiking, biking and driving around the to sites. It was like northern Michigan on steriods. While we were there we had lobster and other seafood everyday at least once a day (and I totally would crave more). We went biking on my birthday on the carriage roads- 45 miles that go to parts of the national park. I dont know why i thought these would be flat.... I... Wed, 28 May 2014 10:14:43 EST The weekends MAINE attraction http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5699266 Who would have thought an elementary school game (Kickball) would cause so many injuries. On my kickball team we had 4 injuries last week and 5 this week; 2 of which were DH and I. He pulled his right quad yesterday and I pulled both of mine after kicking the ball and heading to first base. Geez! Feeling good that we didnt have injuries like others on our team such as a broken finger and badly sprained ankle. Yowza! <BR> <BR> My husband and I are about to take a long road trip the next coupl... Tue, 20 May 2014 13:42:14 EST Moving Forward. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5695712 I hate the back and forth mentality of weight loss. One day I feel good... accepting the place that I am in... and the next day I am trying on bathing suits in Target (because I cant fit in my NICE ones anymore) and fighting the urge to self shame and beat myself up in the mirror. I feel like the fat might be melting... but upon the melt-age it sticks to my hips and thighs making my already very "womanly figure," larger. Yup, I am like a candle... I'm burning at the top and the wax (fat) make... Thu, 15 May 2014 13:01:48 EST Journey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5694784 Despite my frustration in my last blog I am continuing to be active and planning (and looking forward to) future runs. Monday, my husband and I played in our first Kickball double header... I have no idea what I am doing but I had fun with people I was just meeting. A blast! Also, my best friend from college moved to WI and my husband and I are taking a trip out there this weekend so spend time with them. She just completed her first 5K ever on Saturday and was feeling great afterwards. "I c... Wed, 14 May 2014 10:02:42 EST 25K http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5693412 I ran Saturday in the Fifth Third River Bank Run in Grand Rapids. I signed up for the 25k since it was only a mile further than my longest run thus far (14.35 previous to a 15.5). I made the assumption that because it is May it might be cold and raining like it has been each year before for many years now (and how I trained). I was wrong. <BR> <BR> Saturday I woke up early, drove to GR by myself and met up with some runners from my area. We got ready at the start line and took off. I felt g... Mon, 12 May 2014 12:49:09 EST Half Marathoner http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5688346 I completed my first half marathon yesterday with my running group. It was an amazing experience despite losing a couple people in the group on our route due to injuries (heart breaking to not finish with all of our team). <BR> <BR> I was smiling the whole time, I sang, I danced through areas that DJ's and bands played, encouraged others and finished strong. I felt so good and I am still smiling today. It was a success and by far the best and my most favorite run to date. <BR> <BR> <img s... Mon, 5 May 2014 20:30:04 EST "Have Your Moment" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5671417 I am a runner :o) <BR> <BR> I had a really nice run with my group, like all of our group runs, a couple weeks ago and became really emotional about this thought. We are all running the SAME distance... so why don't I say that I am a runner? I processed this and wrote a long winded email to my group that was super cheesey and emotional and shared my process, finishing with "I am a runner. We are runners." It felt so good. <BR> <BR> Saturday was my last "longest run ever" opportunity before ... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 19:44:59 EST I am not paralyzed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660728 Insanity has been done for me for 3 weeks and in that time I have lost the built up muscle mass. I cant be too surprised by this because I don't lift weights like I should. Food has been to the way side and I have definitely noticed the toll it is taking on my body and bloat. We have eaten out a lot lately and what that means for me is CARBS. I hate spending money on a mediocre salad with grilled chicken; I want something that makes me happy (sub fries for a salad). <BR> <BR> I hate that I ... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 10:27:12 EST I am officially a groupie! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5648483 Im not much for group sports anymore... and perhaps it is because of my job (I like my alone time much more than I used to). I find that I spend more time exercising alone and not reaching out to others as "buddies" even when they are within feet of me. Sure... casual conversation and "good jobs" are thrown out but nothing with substance. Ive become more of a "you initiate first" type vs "going all out and befriending anyone" type. Which in many ways that is great for my sanity and also for m... Sat, 15 Mar 2014 14:27:07 EST Me Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646597 I always find there is such a delicate balance of time... time at work, time at play, time working out, self improvement, relationships, household needs, etc. that when it is all said and done good ole fashioned ME time gets thrown to the curb. I have a really hard time with this and once I get a grasp on it again I feel selfish in needing it, although I know it is anything but. <BR> <BR> I have been balancing half marathon training with Insanity for over a month now and listening to my bod... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 00:14:25 EST Energized after a much needed break http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5640795 Feeling re-energized this week. I took Friday, Saturday and Sunday off of Insanity AND running. Didn't plan to not run but seeing as though I slept thru it and also my running buddy and I were already dreading it and completely burned out it worked out great. I instead spent much needed time with my husband who is an accountant... and this time of year I am what I call a "tax widow." Yes. From January 1 (if I am lucky) to April 15th (optimistic view but often this carries into June) my poor h... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 21:02:05 EST Mind Over Matter http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5635051 After having taken two days off of Insanity I plan to double up on at least todays Insanity discs. It is my day to do Cardio Recovery so it's mostly stretching vs lots of jumping and I feel like I could get Cardio and Abs or Plyo in with it. <BR> <BR> To be honest I felt a little discouraged this week. I'm completing the Insanity program at this time, Im more than half way through the first month, minimizing the jumping and modifying things when I can to protect my lower leg areas and knees... Thu, 27 Feb 2014 08:34:53 EST Enough for today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5633737 Was in the process of a long blog when my computer shut down... whoops! Instead of the long winded blog I will just say that my day was a roller coaster ride. Because I am so exhausted from the ups and downs I am postponing my Insanity work out until tomorrow. No Insanity but I did run/walk 2+ miles. That will have to be enough for today. Tue, 25 Feb 2014 20:25:44 EST Delicate Balance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5628602 The last two days with work have been really heavy... and not like weight heavy. Anyone that knows me knows that I am really big on finding balance in my life and trying to maintain that balance and take care of myself. This is incredibly important because without my self care and that balance I cant be positive, effective at my job or as good of a friend or wife that I want to be. My tolerance becomes low, I get tired and irritated easily, or emotionally drained and often times this will go ... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 19:16:42 EST Oh the Insanity http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5626563 Just started week two of Insanity and Im also on week 4 of run camp. <BR> <BR> My group ran 6 miles Saturday and I finished up my first week of Insanity afterwards. Yesterday was my rest day and I was surprised I was not as sore as I was expecting. I will admit that I missed Shaun T (Insanity Coach) and was struggling having a rest day but after this Monday workout I'm back to hating him (this will go away once I catch my breath). <BR> <BR> DH and I went grocery shopping yesterday and of ... Mon, 17 Feb 2014 15:05:38 EST Updates http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5614197 Still doing weight watchers... Im not tracking but I am using the points system as a guide. I have lost 7 lbs in the month of January. I began Run Camp for the upcoming Borgess Half Marathon. Saturday was the first run- 4 miles down. Today was my second scheduled run- 3 miles down. I have three other runs scheduled for this week (Wednesday, Friday and Saturday). Friday and Saturday I will be in the upper peninsula with my husbands family, I have spoken with my family and encouraged them to ho... Mon, 3 Feb 2014 16:20:52 EST Something new http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5586915 I officially feel like I am cheating on SP. My friends and a couple colleagues talked me into trying weight watchers. I just signed up last night. My issue isn't eating healthy food or being active (because I really am pretty active everyday even when I don't go to the gym) but it is my portions. I can eat health foods until I am blue in the face... and bloated in the stomach area. Im trying WW just to get my eating in check, even though I know I can do that with Spark, I know that the only w... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 13:00:07 EST Since the last blog.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5540636 I know I haven't blogged, my food intake hasn't been the greatest between not eating more than one more a meal and that one meal being Taco Bell a couple days. I haven't made it to the gym except for today and I believe I went a couple times last week. Why might you wonder? Well I have spent Thursday-Today, everyday in my new office space preparing it. I have finally finished the painting part... and I feel guilty tracking this as an activity but instead of putting 5 hours of painting I log 1... Wed, 13 Nov 2013 23:47:52 EST Made Choices and No Pity Parties Allow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5533423 Friends came from out of town Thursday thru Sunday. I will admit... it was a great time and I will admit further that I did not eat healthy. I ended up with a cold with a really bad sore throat Saturday night, was happy to not have any appointments on Monday because I sat at home, tea in hand, lots of cough drops, Vics, in PJS and eating left overs (yes, sadly, carbolicious leftovers). <BR> <BR> Today I got back on track. I had meetings all day, picked out a paint color for my new office, y... Tue, 5 Nov 2013 23:20:17 EST Focus On Distance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5527521 I couldn't sleep last night... really starting to realize that I am much more of a night owl than I am a morning person. I didn't get as much sleep as I intended but after a cup of coffee I felt refreshed... oh and bc it was a very bright, sunny and warm morning (we've had snow around these parts the last week). My morning routine is very slow and I love it this way. I took my time getting around, made coffee and made a nice breakfast- the perks of being your own boss. The best thing so far a... Wed, 30 Oct 2013 14:50:24 EST What I'm Doing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5526948 Its been a few days since my last blog. Here is what I have been up to... Ive went to the gym at least once a day, ive cooked at least one vegetarian meal a day although Ive surprisingly noticed that my fruit and veggie intake has dropped recently. I need to bring that puppy up (I usually eat a min of 5-closer to 7 a day). Today I went to the gym once. I did some weight training and squats. Knee and tibia are a little tweaked, nothing bad but just more irritating than anything. <BR> <BR> I ... Tue, 29 Oct 2013 23:17:21 EST Little Victory http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5521451 In January I had a twinge in my shin and thought it was shin splints. But shin splints aren't tender to the touch... so I took some time to heal. I couple weeks went by and I started running again, started again. Finally in March I went to the doctor and after Xrays and a MRI learned the news of my tibal stress fracture. Was told only to walk and bike but to stop if it started hurting. I missed out on the half marathon I had been training for and didn't give up on my 10 mile scheduled for the... Wed, 23 Oct 2013 15:33:18 EST Processing Not Good Enough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5520828 While at the gym for the FIRST time today (yes, I went more than once) I was thinking to myself that I apologize about my weight a lot. Not like... to myself... but to other people. Not a "Oh Im sorry that Im overweight" sort of apology but a more passive apology such as "Im sorry Im not better" (Not my real words but I hope you get the picture). I have this very large part of me that screams... and always has screamed, "YOURE NOT GOOD ENOUGH." Not at dance, gymnastics, cheerleading, soccer, ... Tue, 22 Oct 2013 23:20:12 EST Ill do my best http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5516807 Yesterday was a busy day. Okay, maybe not busy like the busy I used to be but I was all over the place, had work appointments, ran errands, Grey's at a friends and then at 10 PM I went to the gym and did 35 on the bike. I know its not a lot and this is what I often say... "it's not enough"... but it was something. I know 35 minutes isn't going to put a dent but it will get the ball rolling. Speed over 17 MPH- I cant complain. My leg pain flared up when I got home, nothing too bad. <BR> <BR>... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 09:44:54 EST Processing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5515433 Ive been going through old papers and things and I found print outs of a few blogs I felt really good about 3 years ago. I read them and chuckled to myself at how different my blogging has become. I had such motivational blogs that tied mental health, healthy eating, exercise and my day to day experiences into written form. I laughed because they were witty and psychoeducational and... geez whatever happened to that?! I guess I was in the beginning of my career, still learning a ton and reall... Wed, 16 Oct 2013 18:45:33 EST Checking In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5514723 Sometimes I feel sad blogging because its the realization that I haven't been as active as Ive wanted to be or have been in the past while. This year hasn't been the year I had wanted it to be. When I do the overview, I have done a lot but at the same time I have been much more sedentary than I wanted to be. And that sedentary space for me can be lonely sometimes... the sitting on the side lines.. both literally and figuratively. <BR> <BR> Now, there have been a lot of changes. My job has c... Tue, 15 Oct 2013 22:59:52 EST gym bike food. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5456631 Feeling good today. I spent some time making tuna noodle salad and sun dried tomatoes (in the oven), gardening, weeding, etc. I started a 30 day squat challenge today with a friend. I am doing 4 different types of squats and upping the amount of each I complete throughout the next 30 days. Ive been riding my bikes more this week which has been nice and Ive talked my friend into riding with me also- of course, she isn't used to the "saddle butt" one gets and later gets used to. My goal is to t... Thu, 15 Aug 2013 22:25:51 EST I am where I am today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5455515 Have spent time in the last few weeks focusing on being active; walking, biking, weights, kayaking (once), etc. Ive been cooking more and more, which has been great. I feel like Im getting back on track with being creative in the kitchen... which is something that I love to do. <BR> <BR> Ive been on the bike much more lately than earlier this summer. I feel my leg continuing to be in pain and im waiting for it to get better before attempting to run more (although I have one planned for the ... Wed, 14 Aug 2013 22:12:11 EST TRI 'ing to heal. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5447574 After what seems to be the slowest year ever (in the healing sense) Im starting to get back on track. I completed my first triathlon last weekend with some help of friends and DH cheering me on. I seriously dont think I could have done it without them. In the days leading up to the tri I not only started hurting (darn stress fractures!!!) but my fears of drowning became oh.so.real. Thankfully a friend from my previous job was so helpful in checking in... and talked me back into completing it ... Wed, 7 Aug 2013 11:36:09 EST Still-A-Truck'n http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5437975 DH and I have been in the process of home renovations and multiple family crises (deaths, illness, last living grandmother falling and getting hurt, etc.). Although life has been busy we are riding our bikes and walking a couple times a week. My first triathlon is planned for this Saturday... id be lying if i said I was prepared. But I'm still going out there to "tri." <BR> <BR> My goal this summer for our garden was to not waste anything and to find a use or freeze things that I/"we" cant ... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 23:03:23 EST Need to rediscover what my balance is http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5417836 Between last night and this morning I have had an epiphany, I HATE WORKING OUT. I like being active, you know, riding my bike around leisurely, hiking, walking, kayaking, etc., but to actually plan out 20, 30, 60 minutes or more to sweating, pushing hard, weights... I hate it. I spend more time thinking about and dreading it than actually doing it. But then i think to myself, "am I more unhappy being overweight or working out?" Okay self, you win. <BR> <BR> I need to rediscover a balance be... Thu, 11 Jul 2013 12:29:20 EST Back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5414175 The dust is settling and life is moving back into normalcy. After my recent off metaphorical road I am heading back to the outlined trails. So... what has happened since my recent hiatus? .... Here are the highlights.... <BR> <BR> I quit my full time job and starting building my business. <BR> <BR> Organized, purged, recycled (filled all of my bins in two days) and donated a full car of items. <BR> <BR> Began my home renovations. (My oak kitchen and trim is all white now and the dark flo... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 10:15:45 EST Dear spark friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5399458 Dear spark friends, <BR> This week I do not plan to be on SP to write or check in due to this crazy final work week ahead. I do have a swim class scheduled and a 100 mile bike ride on Sunday (one week from today) planned for activity. Will be checking in and continuing to blog after Friday. 5 more days. <BR> -H Sun, 23 Jun 2013 19:55:44 EST You take the good with the bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5393832 Being accountable here.... since my last blog post I have not ran, I have not biked and I have not done weights. I said it. So much has happened since the last posting that I keep forgetting what week it is... its really the 18th? <BR> <BR> DH and I went to northern Michigan I visit my grandmother. She was in good spirits and was not much different than her normal self. If I hadn't been told she was dying I wouldn't have thought anything about it. We stayed at my friends Friday night, went ... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:22:10 EST Needing a break. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5380779 Illness, death and dying are never hoped for, are rarely planned for, and (I know this sounds selfish) always seems to be bad timing. I'm trying to stay afloat on everything I have to do to transition from my job and lately have felt too tired to get a good, long cardio workout in and too overwhelmed to do anything else. I received a phone call today that my grandmother has congestive heart failure and stage three kidney failure. She refuses to go to the hospital and thankfully her nursing ho... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 21:19:12 EST Fitness vs. Weight. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5375858 You know how we are often our worst critics? To be honest I go back and forth. My mind set is good, healthy, positive then out of no where it's like the negative hits me. For a couple days this last week I felt that way; "Why do I do this?" That gets stuck in your head and especially when you dont focus on the small successes that question just sounds louder and louder. <BR> <BR> I have to share a story that pulled me out of my couple day rut. I had a meeting yesterday morning and I've made... Sun, 2 Jun 2013 18:32:45 EST Soldier Field 10 Mile http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5375767 I'm a week late in posting but I thought I would share my 2nd 10 mile experience. <BR> <BR> We signed up for the 10 mile back in January and decided we would celebrate my birthday again in Chicago. After getting news that I had a stress fracture back in March/April I was unsure whether I would be able to run. After watching my younger sister run the half marathon for me I made the decision that I would complete this 10 mile no matter what. After getting the "okay" from my doctor days before... Sun, 2 Jun 2013 16:47:17 EST Birthday Weekend Begins. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5366075 First off Id like to say HAPPY 29th <em>211</em> BITHDAY to Tina. Super excited to have a close spark friend to share my birthday with. We Win! Cheers to you and many more amazing years to come! <BR> <BR> Woke up this morning and totally wished it was a saturday morning, comfy in my bed, not having to move. Body is sore from working out yesterday, core and hamstrings are burning- its a good thing, I know. DH woke me up (because I slept late) and kissed me awake before leaving- this is our ... Thu, 23 May 2013 20:55:16 EST Cleared and focused http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5364561 I was cleared today by the sports medicine doctor to start running again. WHAT A RELIEF! I still have some residual pain in my tibia but Ill be gentle and not kill myself (or break my leg) to put my time or mileage. <BR> <BR> After my doctor appointment I ran a couple errands and went to the gym. I realized today what muscle I need to really focus on to see differences. Yea, Im hard on myself - Im working on being nicer. I have a tummy and I know how to get rid of that. Arms are tough to ge... Wed, 22 May 2013 12:12:54 EST Sometimes you just gotta tri. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5362764 In two days I go to the doctor and hopefully am cleared for Saturday's run. I have some residual pain in my tibia that just came up today. Kinda stinks but I hope its okay. If not I know Ill be going against doctors orders and running Saturday, Im stubborn and being irresponsible in doing so but I can't not do it. Plus i figure if it hurts again afterwards I still have like three months until my next run. Ill have time to heal and train a little. <BR> <BR> After this run I am signing up for... Mon, 20 May 2013 21:19:21 EST Just me and my hubby: 45+ miles, a moment of terror and relaxtion. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5361374 Alarm was sounding this morning at 7AM. After hitting snooze 3 times I finally got up, made coffee, ate oatmeal and got ready for our ride. My husband and I decided a couple days ago to do the Kal-Haven Trail staring from a town north of our home instead of driving 12 miles east to ride those 12 miles through the same place. In lieu of those 12 miles, we decided we would ride to South Haven and back to the car. I had heard that the ride back was up hill- and as you can assume, this chick has ... Sun, 19 May 2013 18:20:58 EST Work. Bike. Walk. Moving Forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5357839 I came home after a "oh so painfully unmotivating day" at the office. I'm sorry but it is incredibly hard to do paperwork in an office when its BEAUTIFUL outside. When I arrived home I had already paved the way for my husband to go bike riding with me. We went out for a 20 minute bike ride in the neighborhood and started to plan out our next ride. Sunday (Michigan weather permitting) we will start on the Kal Haven trail 21 miles from SH, ride there and ride back. If we leave early we might sp... Wed, 15 May 2013 20:22:35 EST Just a check in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5356761 I slept hard last night and was well rested this morning. Really didnt want to leave the comfort of my bed though, bummer, I had to. I woke up and did the usual routine. I felt good and fit this morning despite not working out the last couple days. Down nearly a pound but I havent logged it because I weigh in on Friday's (Thursday this week because I will be spending the night at a friends in Indiana Thursday evening). I took my time driving into work to enjoy the 45 minutes of scenery. The c... Tue, 14 May 2013 21:41:44 EST Self Care Plan Meet Your Future http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5355475 I am a very scheduled, organized, methodical, task oriented person. I like knowing whats next, having a plan, staying on track, moving along the course to my goal. Today I did exactly the opposite of everything I've ever found safety, security and reassurance in. I turned in my resignation letter to my stable, full time job to pursue self employment and self care. It's funny because my self care is usually in place to ease my anxiety... not intensify it like gas to a fire. In a very emotional... Mon, 13 May 2013 18:03:42 EST 2013 TrailBlazer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5353342 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/0/l908781113.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Kalamazoo Bike Week. The week that seasonal cyclists look forward to every year. The opening ride is known as the TrailBlazer were the Kal-Haven Trail (A trail from Kalamazoo to South Haven) gets identified as a family friendly and safe opportunity for people to ride the 33.5 mile route to one of the beautiful Lake Michigan beaches. This is especially great in the summer because you can ride out with a small tent, ... Sat, 11 May 2013 19:04:20 EST Feeling thankful http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5351996 This morning I woke up incredibly thankful for so much in my life. I have had so much support and encouragement recently from friends and my husband that I can't even begin to describe the love I feel blesing my life. Like many women I am very much my worst critic and I'm super hard on myself. Ive always been the "successful" or "independent" one in my family which then raises the bar for me... "I can't screw up" is what I've pretty much lived by. In gaining weight I felt like I screwed up, e... Fri, 10 May 2013 10:42:13 EST Moving forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5350350 Earlier today I was feeling guilty about the amount of fitness minutes I have put in this week and the calories burned... its much less than I have been used to these last 6 months. I have not been to the gym because today is the first day ive actually felt good, despite my throbbing headache and scratchy throat. But then I remembered that this weekend I have my first long distance ride of the year scheduled with my friend Jen. Not only will it be cycling from Kalamazoo to South Haven but ins... Wed, 8 May 2013 21:56:24 EST Diet Sinning And A Pity Party http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5347735 Yesterday was the Borgess Marathon, Half Marathon and 5k and I think it would be incredibly accurate to say that for me it was bittersweet. My younger sister ran in my place with my husband as I was on the sidelines with her boyfriend. I had a great time with him as we traveled around the runners, trying our best to find the next spot where we would find her and my husband to take pictures; I will admit, we were really good at this sort of planned stalking and were able to take pictures of ot... Mon, 6 May 2013 18:49:25 EST Out again. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5343037 Second sick day from work although I am feeling SO. MUCH. BETTER. I dont feel like my head is in a death grip although my throat still hurts, I'm congested and I sound like kermit the frog. If I can't talk at work there really doesn't seem to be much of a point being there because I talk to people for a living everyday. Gasping for air between sentences and blowing my nose like a goose isnt the most appealing of situations for people to be sitting in a room with and if I had a client keep the... Thu, 2 May 2013 09:57:06 EST