WITTYKITTY89's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=WITTYKITTY89 WITTYKITTY89's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ That "Friend" who Subtlely Offends (we All Have One) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5938494 We all have that one friend, the one who takes subtle jabs at you that hurt, bad. And you're never even sure she means to do it, so you feel weird confronting her about it. I have one of those people, and if she were anyone else, I'd drop her out of my life in an instant. But unfortunately, I can't, because we've been friends since we were 11, and you can't just sever those kinds of ties. But I've reached a point where I know that I deserve better than to be spoken to in certain ways, and... Tue, 2 Jun 2015 13:06:22 EST Day 6 of Respark, Major Breakthrough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5929755 I've written in earlier blogs this week about my depression, and my usually nagging inner voice that, from sun-up to sun-down, tells me what a failure I am. Self-criticism can be healthy in the sense that it can be motivating. However, somewhere along the way my self-criticism tipped a scale into pathological self-loathing. It has been constantly with me, and not in a good way. <BR> <BR> Today has been a pretty good day. There was no little voice telling me what a failure I was when I ... Sun, 17 May 2015 19:18:33 EST I Feel Great Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928727 Today has been the first time in a long time that I woke up feeling great. That little, negative voice inside my head, the one that tells me every morning as soon as I awake that I am worthless and a failure, began to chime in but a louder, happier voice told it to get lost. Wow, what a feeling! And it's only Day 4 of this journey for me (or re-journey, depending on your perspective). <BR> <BR> And it was not just the silencing of my negativity. Generally, on days I do not go into work (... Fri, 15 May 2015 15:53:58 EST Yesterday was Rough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928046 Yesterday, Day 3 of my respark, was bad, very bad. I blew through almost 3,000 calories and didn't exercise at all. It was awful. I'm not letting it derail me in the least, but I guess I need to talk about it. <BR> <BR> My reaction was born from stress and depression. Late Tuesday night I had a work-related crisis that continued when I awoke yesterday. It was a pretty large crisis (unrelated to my job as a professor, but related to my archaeological fieldwork and my failure to get impor... Thu, 14 May 2015 11:23:36 EST Resparking... Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5927092 I cannot even count how many times I have begun this journey, stopped, and ended up right back where I started. This has been a process of years. I keep saying "Well as long as I keep getting up again, that's all that matters." But such a mantra has lost its effectiveness. They're just empty words now. <BR> <BR> It's time for actual change now. I'm at a crossroads in my life. I completed my MA a year ago and began my first real grown-up job ever as a college professor. It's been a w... Tue, 12 May 2015 18:01:18 EST