WILDXANGELS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=WILDXANGELS WILDXANGELS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ recommitting step one oa http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781870 Recommitting. Yes I go to meetings, but I realized today I haven't been working my program hard enough. My abstinence is...okay. Could be better. I need to live the steps! I've been too passive, not even thinking about it, the steps, the whole things. <BR> So without further ado: hi I'm Katleen, compulsive eater. I'm at step one fully: I admit I'm powerless over food and my eating behaviors, that my life is unmanageable. <BR> God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, change th... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 20:09:07 EST HOSPICE AND MY MOM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768570 Friends I am home...and I am pathetically sad. I mean I have always felt heartache when I came home from a wonderful vacation, but with me being overwhelming un satisfied in my life/weight /health... and surrounding here anyway, it is much worth coming back. I feel sad, I feel lonely...the only thing I missed where you (thanks to a bad connection), my family and friends...I really do need to change a lot. I hope after the first days of sulking I will find the energy I felt during this trip to... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:19:44 EST A FRESH NEW DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768562 I've been struggling the last few days. But something happened yesterday that brought me back to reality, Life in general. As someone was talking about their life & how bad things were, then about that time my program kicked in. <BR> ***I am the only one responsible for me. With the help of my HP - GOD, I can do this. It's up to me to pick up the material, work the Steps, go to meetings, use the tools, communication with a Sponsor & pray/meditate daily. One foot in front of the other, one da... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:03:33 EST NEVER TOO LATE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752688 It’s never too late to live a life that makes you proud. If you don’t learn anything else from this post, learn that. We get one shot at this. There’s no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isn’t authentic is a tragic waste. Honestly, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit – you can simply start and stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of it. I... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 07:17:23 EST MY MOM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5751642 I moved away but i keep looking back,I need to re-learn and make new habits here and now,yes,self preservation.I need to put it first and formost,I love my mom so much but she is dying and I can't prevent that from happening,so I must let it and her go to save myself.It breaks my heart. Sat, 2 Aug 2014 11:49:24 EST FOOT WORK http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745771 ~ GoOoOoOOoOoOood Thursday Morning, EVERYONE!!!!.....Finally not so lethargic.....I have been under the weather all week; however, I am more than grateful it is very temporary.....I have nothing to complain about because my life on a daily basis is more than good and I am very blessed to have exactly what I do.....As of late, I have been staying in the positive no matter what and focusing on a stronger relationship with my higher power and the footwork I must do to continue growing.....I am p... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 14:06:31 EST A NEW ADVENTURE WITH OMNI http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5696560 On this journey of mine, I am discovering all kinds of things. New emotions, new opportunities, new desires. I am learning to see myself & to identify the things that lift me up, and letting go of the things that hold me down. I am becoming brave enough to confront my demons, and make friends with them. As amazing as all this can be, becoming a better me is tiring. So today, I am focusing on self care & resting. And today I see that taking time to be sweet to my own self is not avoidance or d... Fri, 16 May 2014 17:27:16 EST Omni rocks!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5682367 I am also a survivor of sexual abuse. I overate to not feel the pain. I went to a counselor a for many years and I told her. I could no longer keep it a secret After I told her, the thoughts never consumed me again. Please find a counselor that specializes on this topic. The 12 steps and a sponsor will help you also. Come to find out I have other reasons I overate also! I was addicted to food that is why I am here. Now I feel my feelings instead of eating.I love you and hugs! I go to weight ... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 12:05:50 EST LET IT GO OR NOT http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5670453 so happy we have this page,as some of you know me n the mr had lots of problems last year and i had a order for him to stay away,he broke it and now its on his record.he told me a couple weeks ago he was gonna ask the judge to seal it so it does not show when he applys for a job,i told him the court would ask me and i would say no so not to bother. he did not believe me and asked for a court date!!!i am beyond mad!!!!!! they are going to ask me and i will say no just like i told him!!!!!!yes,... Sat, 12 Apr 2014 11:38:39 EST ONE STEP AHEAD http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5667405 I know it isn't about weight. This is embarrassing but also an accomplishment. I wasn't going to share, but I thought I should. In 2007, I stopped overeating and started my recovery. In 2010, I stopped cutting myself. 7 year recovery with overeating and 4 for cutting. In 2011-2012, I weighed 435 pounds. I could barely walk upstairs and refused to take my medications. I was diagnosed as a diabetic and other problems. I started doing one thing at a time. Taking one step at a time. One day at a ... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 13:10:46 EST OA AND ME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5666393 OA works as these pictures of my physical recovery illustrate. However, the true gift of recovery is not losing over 150 plus lbs, but silencing that incessant, abusive noise of "what am I going to eat, when, how, and where am I going to eat it, how am I going to lose weight, when will I join Weight Watchers...AGAIN...wait until after Easter, how much do I weigh, what size am I, why am I so weak, pathetic, FAT? It is not fair, look at that skinny girl she must be so happy, it is too hard. BLA... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 10:31:19 EST BACK TO BASICS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5666205 I'm slowly killing myself... avoiding everything. Especially Me... I've managed to set some goals to take care of me. Yous know the basic everyday living that I have purposely stopped doing. Like pray... brush my teeth...eat... take a shower...get sleep...look in the mirror and say: I am worth it. Be happy...do something positive for myself... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 06:29:57 EST PRAYING 4 ME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5661391 Feel so so like I can't get anything accomplished . I know that with the overeaters anonymous program that they say you first have to admit your powerless over the food and that your life has become unmanageable which is also true for me but in addition to eating , even the things in my whole life are so much out of control. I seem so tired usually and also can't seem to concentrate enough to get these done that are things I should and want to work on like improving my diet , reading the Bibl... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 04:38:44 EST PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660931 Still in major mouth pain n infection,must go back and go thru bones ground down and or removed and I have been trying to put it off but my blood sugars are rising but I am feeling a bit better ,not sure if its the new meds or I just feel better!!!!I can not wait for tomorrow to come!!!!It is 45 here and I am so glad I made it from oct. to now,I was so sick I just wanted to die and now I am feeling a glimmer of hope regardless of the bad days and moments.I have my food on track,I have not gai... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 14:09:07 EST I AM ME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5657143 Once again I have reached the point where standing up for myself in my wants, wishes, beliefs, is where I am at. I won't back down anymore to anyone. Don't like my decisions, unfriend me, don't talk to me. For along time i've been backing down to what makes others happy NOT myself NO more. I have my faults, I'm more than willing to accept my blame, my consequences. I'm still o.k. with that I am who I am Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:29:49 EST ONE DAY AT A TIME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5656764 I'm just starting out on my journey. For years, I've chosen food as my drug to numb pain & fear. I literally built a wall around me to protect myself from being hurt. <BR> My rock bottom came when my doctor prescribed medication for elevated blood sugar, high blood pressure & thyroid. Everything I told myself that I would never be, I've become. <BR> I have a long road ahead as I regain my health. I'm glad to be here as part of it. Wed, 26 Mar 2014 07:31:43 EST NEVER GIVE UP http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655610 I feel like such a failure. If I had the gas money I'd go to a meeting. If my laptop didn't shut down on me automatically I'd browse the oa site. I have no real life friends. I'm on the outs with most of my family. Either that or they are busy with their own lives. I don't want to burden my adult kids. I wish God would just take me already. No I will not make any attempts on my life so please; no non-suicide pleas. I just feel so alone... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 18:27:08 EST TRY AGAIN http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655175 Am laying here awake and wanting to be honest about myself and ask for your opinion about why I don't take care of me any better daily. I know I've been thru a lot but just am lost on the reason why I neglect myself in ways . Please try not to think bad of me ok . I started gaining the weight at age 5 when the abuse started. *i was then always starting to want to lose the weight but never finished anything or stuck to any diet long enough. It was like I ran from one place to another always tr... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 09:15:53 EST I AM NOT MY DISEASE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5653645 Am laying here in bed feeling grateful for all the wonderful friends I've met lately and also for the wonderful people in my daily life that bless me more than I could ever say. I know this food addiction weight problem started when I started being abused around 4 years old but now as I lay here at 56 years old now , I can say that I'm just starting to learn to know me and to try and not let food be my whole world. I feel I've used food to stuff down feelings and also used food to cope but re... Sat, 22 Mar 2014 01:23:24 EST JUST DO IT TODAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5645360 I have been on way too many eating disorder pages where all I see is people posting about the problem & nothing about the solution. Post after post after post of people complaining they can’t stop eating… Most folks responding, “It’s OK, tomorrow’s another day”. Yet when I offered the OA solution: Meetings, Sponsor, Steps, Tools & Service, all I’d get was “It’s too hard, back off”. THERE IS NO EASY WAY OUT OF THIS DISEASE—IT TAKES HARD WORK! But certainly beats the alternative… I wanted to st... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 12:44:03 EST NOT TODAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5645048 Did you ever have a awakening where a light came on in your head and your heart and you just new you were not being true to yourself and certain issues were all wrong in your life? This morning was my day and the world stood still,and I feel frozen in time but cant be when I need to do the next right thing...help me Lord. Tue, 11 Mar 2014 05:33:28 EST one bad week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5635077 So, sharing my most honest feelings! I had an incredibly rough week with some personal issues and unfortunately I turned to food instead of resorting to other outlets. I knew I had gained and I, one, didn't want I go to the meeting because I knew this would put me back under my 100 pound weight loss, and two, it made me feel like I would let all of you down. Then through the words and support of some awesome people I realized this is what I used to do...when I had a setback I would give up an... Thu, 27 Feb 2014 09:18:06 EST just for today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5633488 I felt really overwhelmed yesterday after the discussion my OA sponsor and I had about behaviors and food abstinence. Then I talked to my NA sponsor about my some stuff and I really felt overwhelmed. I didn't want to do this anymore. It seemed to hard. It seemed forever. But, I'm trying to just do today. 3 meals and 2 snacks. Just for today. Tue, 25 Feb 2014 13:33:45 EST GOOD BYE FAT GIRL http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5625362 "Dear fat girl in the mirror.I haven't been seeing you as much staring back at me in the mirror lately.I have the feeling that you soon will be leaving forever and so before you go I just wanted to say a few things to you.I have to tell you I have hated you a lot over the years,you have disapointed me,disgusted me,made me sad and made me cry.Please don't be upset by that,you have done good things for me too,you taught me to be compassionate to others because I have known the pain and hurt of ... Sun, 16 Feb 2014 09:00:30 EST SPRING FORWARD http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5619982 woke up in extreme pain,sitting here thinking,this has gone on for 4 months now of unbearable pain,I look back and do not know how I have made it thru,Some days are alot better,but most days are alot worse than ever.I am wondering if spring will bring a end to it all,or if I will even make it to see spring at all.Also wondering if it is something fatal or something just mind over matter.Dear Lord you know,please solve it soon,amen. Mon, 10 Feb 2014 02:23:44 EST KEEP ON TRUDGING http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5616987 Maintained for 2 weeks and now up 1/2 pound. Ok, time to move on from the hibernation mindset. The snow is temporary and will melt. The cold will ease into warmer weather soon. The days will become longer and lighter day by day. This winter WILL NOT win!! I'm grateful I've been able to keep walking and yoga in check, but I've been treating food as if I'm Yogi Bear for the past few weeks. Lucky it's just 1/2 pound. Just needed to put my intention to turn this around out to the group.I love wei... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 14:23:36 EST ONE GOOD HUSBAND http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5598603 My Husband deserves a pat on the back for all he's done for me over the weekend because there are some jobs I can't do due to health issues, he's cleaned the carpets & washed the floors through-out the whole house & today he has spent time working in the front yard, which was a mess from snow and ice, coming off the trees to pulling out snow, that needed removing, bless him, I get frustrated and depressed when I can't do things I want to, but there's no point getting upset, I can't change my ... Sun, 19 Jan 2014 04:41:36 EST LETTING GO http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5597615 I have always craved comfort and relief and for me I found it in food. My body tells what I do in secret, publicly. It shows publicly the over abundance of food I crave and eat and it lingers. My body is overfilled with the thing I give most of my attention, the fruit I crave so to speak. I am looking at my life, my bank account, my priorities and it all leads to one priority...my craving for food. I am consumed by the comfort I find in food. To deal with childhood hurts...I used food. To pro... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 03:26:36 EST TODAY'S PRAYER http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5596945 God direct my thinking today so that it be divorced of self pity, dishonesty, self-will, self-seeking and fear. God inspire my thinking, decisions and intuitions. Help me to relax and take it easy. Free me from doubt and indecision. Guide me through this day and show me my next step. God give me what I need to take care of any problems. I ask all these things that I may be of maximum service to you and my fellow man. AMEN <BR> <BR> Fri, 17 Jan 2014 11:53:05 EST TODAY'S PRAYER http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5596944 God direct my thinking today so that it be divorced of self pity, dishonesty, self-will, self-seeking and fear. God inspire my thinking, decisions and intuitions. Help me to relax and take it easy. Free me from doubt and indecision. Guide me through this day and show me my next step. God give me what I need to take care of any problems. I ask all these things that I may be of maximum service to you and my fellow man. AMEN <BR> <BR> Fri, 17 Jan 2014 11:53:04 EST STEP ONE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5595548 I am powerless over food and my life has become unmanageable ... For today.., thy will be done. No amount of physical food will ever satisfy my emotional and spiritual hunger...I believe a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity Thu, 16 Jan 2014 07:26:04 EST DON'T LOOK BACK ,YOU'RE NOT GOING THAT WAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5593082 Forgive yourself first. Release the need to replay a negative situation over and over again in your mind. Don't become a hostage to your past by always reviewing and reliving your mistakes. Don't remind yourself of what should have, could have or would have been. Release it and let it go. Move on. <BR> <BR> You can't change the past, but you can determine that your past will not define your present, or dictate your future. Forgive your former self...for the way that it may have sabotaged you... Tue, 14 Jan 2014 00:31:12 EST EXERSIZE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5592349 Since my surgery in october I have not been able to do much and have lost a bunch of strength.Thought I could just pick up where I left off and found myself sucking wind for sure.I will have to exersize 5-10 minutes every hour at a time til I get my strength up again.I can do this and not feel bad because of my surgery that I am weaker than I was. Mon, 13 Jan 2014 12:23:41 EST JUST DO IT http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5587911 Slept in a bit this morning and having a hard time getting going. It's still really cold outside, but that is still not going to stop me! Be sure to make healthy choices today and get that workout in! Even if it is just 10 or 15 minutes, something is way better than nothing! Thu, 9 Jan 2014 10:11:51 EST SIMPLE START WEEK ONE BLUES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5587176 I am very upset today,I got weighed after my first week on simple start and i gained a pound,I worked really hard all week at it and was so excited to go but i did feel bloated this morning before i left but i wanted so bad to go today as today is my real class and last week was not.I found out when I got home that my husband had been adding salt to my evening meals all this week because he forgot I can't have it!!!!!!!!!!Not on purpose,but still.I should not be upset cuz I made it thru thank... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 17:45:14 EST NO FAMILY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5585566 Isnt it funny how when you change your life for the better, those still in darkness will do their best to drag you down. The old family that you would have done anything for, attack,and desert you!!! I am a better person today. I am HAPPY, JOYOUS, and FREE. I pray for those still in darkness that they may find their way out before it is too late. Tue, 7 Jan 2014 11:47:09 EST SIMPLE START AT WEIGHT WATCHERS 2014 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5575730 I did it!!!!!!! I returned to real weight watchers meetings today to start the new simple start program!!!!! I had not been to a meeting since sept. and I was so proud when I got weighed as I weighed in less than what I was the last time I was there!!!! Weight Watchers really works in my life Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:13:09 EST PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION IN 2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5574372 The day I walked into Planet Fitness I weighed 450 pounds. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and I wanted to do something about all of it, or I knew I would die soon!!!! Joining Planet Fitness may have saved my life. Since the first day I walked into Planet Fitness and started doing a workout program, I’ve lost 150lbs or more and have dropped several clothes sizes! I feel great. Everyone who sees me now tells me how good I look. All I can say to Planet Fitness is thank you for a great plac... Sun, 29 Dec 2013 08:03:50 EST NIGHT TIME PRAYER http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5572736 If I die before I wake I pray the lord my soul to take...Amen ...do any of you or have any ever prayed that prayer ...I've done it since a child truly ...but tonight I'm laying here actually afraid to say that pray...why you should ask...well when I say that this year or so has been more than Hell...truly it has...but I ask God for one thing before he took me from this world & that was peace ...peace with self & peace with certain others in my life..I've come to know that peace over the last ... Fri, 27 Dec 2013 03:46:11 EST LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5568626 I have had to live in pain for many many years si that I am use to,however since october I have had a different kind of pain Since my surgery in october,over the last 2 months nothing has worked to end this pain and let me tell you it has changed me inside and out,it has let up some but I have found myself in a funk or a fog the last 2 days,thank goodness I have my recovery meeting in the morning or I think I would have given up by now,I am determined to Not let this win,and continue to pray ... Fri, 20 Dec 2013 10:54:23 EST BAH HUMBUG http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5565652 my kids are mean to me,and wont bring my mom to see me when they know i cant drive,and my man's mean to me no matter how nice i am, n i got a million health problems n my kids wont speak to me but i did the best i could. Happy Humbug,LOL — feeling annoyed. Mon, 16 Dec 2013 12:16:59 EST THE RECOVERY PROGRAM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5564829 I am grateful for Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob who founded Alchoholics Anonymous (AA)- I call them my great-great-great-great-great grandfathers of recovery - AA eventually led to Gamblers Anonymous (GA) being founded and the founder of Overeaters Anonymous (OA), Rozanne was inspired by what she knew of the GA program and was given the wisdom,courage and strength to help a few women apply the steps and the story went from there...it just reminds me that you never know what you following God is goi... Sun, 15 Dec 2013 11:29:59 EST EXCUSES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5557554 Just wrote to my sponsor about praying for the willingness to commit my food in a much more efficient and healthier way. I have put blame on the fact that I can not do it this way or that way .. For example.. I have a infection in my gums for over 6 weeks now and can not grocery shop like I could if I felt better. This is an issue. I also have money problems and have used that as an issue. The bottom line is that I need to get my food in order... So that the program can work and so I can wo... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 11:29:26 EST PRAYER OF GRATITUDE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5557424 The longest post I will ever do...and the most real too. Everyone will go through some hard times at some point. Life isn't easy. Just something to think about...did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry,... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 08:33:11 EST ALONE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5556782 having a tough day,times change and people move on, trying to find a new happy place inside and outside myself,dealing with letting go of how I wish things were compared to how life really is,this is the big tough one for me,dealing with loneliness and learning to be alone one day at a time Wed, 4 Dec 2013 11:58:36 EST THANKSGIVING DAY 2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5552116 Please keep me in your prayers today, I will be missing my MOM,SON,daughters n 5 granddaughters this year. This is the first time in my life that I will not be with my FAMILY on Thanksgiving and I am having a hard time with it this morning, trying to get it together and go have a good day with my Hubby and kittys,having a great meal and going for a long walk to pray and meditate for blessings and going to aa al-k-thon later today.Remember : God is always good, You and your families are in my ... Thu, 28 Nov 2013 09:48:39 EST angry and missing my mom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5552014 ,im upset as i wanted to spend the day with my mom but my daughter just got a new home and said we were not invited this year,but ive been with my mom every year of my life Thu, 28 Nov 2013 07:07:38 EST Pain be gone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5551879 hubby came home early and we had a nice meal of something i could chew with no teeth,i'm eating alot of things i dont like but need to keep up my strength and keep food in me cuz of the diabetic pills and shots,if i go out i'm ordering things i never would.all my favorites i cant eat anymore,and i'm depressed and cry alot.The pain has not left and i'm beginning to think it wont without more mouth surgery.Oct n nov have been the two worse months of my life health wise,plus i'm afraid of losing... Wed, 27 Nov 2013 23:49:04 EST I AM BEAUTIFUL http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5545831 TODAY'S MISSION: Remind yourself that the life you want doesn't have to start when you reach goal. It can start right NOW! No matter where you are in your weight-loss journey, wear a pretty outfit and make-up and jewelry that makes you feel beautiful. — feeling excited. Wed, 20 Nov 2013 06:33:58 EST FEELING BLUE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5544864 It was like always dreaming about going to this big fancy party and how much you were going to love it and when you got there you found out it was nothing like you thought it would be and you hated it beyond human comprehension and it made you wish you could just go to sleep and not wake up,or just pull the plug and make all your lights go out,and the people taht were at the party could only treat you mean and say bad things about you,and no one there would help you find the door to get out t... Tue, 19 Nov 2013 02:26:58 EST