WILDXANGELS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=WILDXANGELS WILDXANGELS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ faith http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5837828 I am so grateful I believe in God. The devil tried to enter my life today. I had to tell myself DON'T let him in. Don't let him see you react to his evil doing. Thank you Jesus for your Strength and holding me up against the evil spirit. Wed, 24 Dec 2014 07:08:43 EST freedom from food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5837814 Good Morning.... I read so many painful stories on this group. Can I share my story? What I see is... Addiction is robbing so many of you of the life you deserve. I'm not preaching here... I am in your shoes... Or I used to be. I've worked on me for a long time. Some days weeks I felt like I was going backwards.... And no one had a clue. It was like looking at the top of a mountain and thinking there is no freaking way I can get to the top... Why try. It was pointless. You stuff your disappoi... Wed, 24 Dec 2014 06:42:12 EST happy dance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5837508 Woot woot! My scale now consistently starts with the number '2' instead of a '3'. <BR> Been way over 300 lbs for so long that I forgot there were other digits to view along the road to recovery. So far to go, but so thankful for OA ,weight watchers and this group! Tue, 23 Dec 2014 12:58:12 EST never give up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5836540 I have been on WW over 5 years. My total loss is 160 pounds. I am struggling lately to see a loss on the scale. I won't give up. I make decisions, minute to minute, meal to meal, day to day that help me stay on track. I have decided my health is worth the struggle. Knowing indulgences and mistakes and stress are going to happen, I will continue to do my imperfect best anyway, everyday! Sun, 21 Dec 2014 22:06:18 EST SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5835226 I woke up full of hurt,anger and hate,i have been praying over it and doing all that i know how to do and going to meetings and doctors but it is not getting any better and i am at a loss what to do at this point.I need to move into a new environment but have no money or family to help so i am having a hard time being able to do this,if anyone has any suggestions that would be great,ty.I have been sober long enough to figure this out but i cant. Fri, 19 Dec 2014 04:13:39 EST alone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5830343 have no family that will take me in or help me,i found out today my daughters moving a girl into my moms room so cuz she has no family,a stranger,guess i am not family.this is hurting me bad but they dont care.i told her and she calls me "dumb" cuz i feel hurt and feel the way i do,that they should be helping their mother not some stranger.I wont eat over it.... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 13:46:53 EST food was a old friend no more http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5830076 Last night I had a lot of emotions I was repressing and it turned into a numbing anger. Before I realized I was going down that road (which often leads to depression), I was acting out in anger and also tried "soothing" myself with food (it did nothing for me and felt pointless). I finally allowed the emotions to surface and cried even though it felt silly at the time. I was hiding behind the anger because I didn't feel like my hurt was justified, therefore, not allowing myself to feel. I fel... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 05:25:56 EST my blessing for you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5830075 For each and everyone of you that is having a tough time, pain or issues of any kind, I wish to say to you that your not alone and loved. I wish to also send you my smiles, laughs, happiness, positive vibes, peace, harmony, understanding, kindness, caring, strength, compassion, passion, my hopes, wishes and dreams, gentle hugs, tender kisses, warm embraces, soft whispers and love from all my heart, mind, body and soul just to give you a chance at less pain...peace, happiness and love to you a... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 05:13:51 EST pass it forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5829203 I AM CHALLENGING THAT EVERYONE TAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO PONDER WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU AND DO AN ACT OF KINDNESS STARTING TODAY UNTIL AT LEAST CHRISTMAS, BUT REALLY TO THE END OF THIS YEAR.. I understand that everyone has a different belief about the Christmas season….and do not want to wish nor take away your beliefs ….some of us have family…some wish we wish we didn’t….we are all at our own place right now in this journey through life…with many challenges….i ask that everyone reaches out to someo... Sun, 7 Dec 2014 18:05:49 EST OA WORKS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5829028 You do not have to follow a specific food plan to recover in OA. The goal of OA is to abstain from compulsive overeating, and a food plan helps to achieve that, but which food plan you follow is up to you. I get the feeling that many people have forgotten this. You can read the book, "Abstinence: Members of Overeaters Anonymous Share Their Experience, Strength, and Hope," to confirm what I have said and to better understand what abstinence means. Sun, 7 Dec 2014 09:33:10 EST brand new day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5826224 Today, I will force myself, if necessary, to live my own life. I will act in my own best interest, in a way that reflects self-love. If I have given power or control of my life to someone other than myself, and someone besides a Power greater than myself, I will take it back. I will begin acting in my own best interests, even if it feels awkward to do that. Tue, 2 Dec 2014 07:16:15 EST thoughts for today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824132 hope it's okay to post this here,if not please delete and forgive me,I just had some thoughts i hope will feel better if i put them down. 1./ I invited daughter down for a birthday dinner for her n my grand daughter and got them nice presents,said they would come but didnt cuz babysitted for my other daughter all day instead,ok 2./ kids have the week off so they will make it another day this week,ok, 3. they never called and never came at all all week nor wished me a happy thanksgiving either... Fri, 28 Nov 2014 06:49:19 EST reality http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824125 I was in so love with him..I loved who I wanted him to be in my mind. To be loved the happy moments.having our kids,loving the cats,not being homeless and alone,having a warm place to lay my head at night, (but that was not his true colors) I had hope for him..he was a challenge (I can fix him) I think I was addicted to him.i needed a fix, it's like any attention is better than none. .so not healthy.He is psychotic for sure.It has made my life turn to total crap. Fri, 28 Nov 2014 06:16:29 EST winter blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824111 so upset this jerk has been making my life unbearable and treating me rotten and telling me to get out when i have no money,no family and no where to go,plus my health is so bad i am sick to my stomach and shaking.I just also lost my mom,i wish i had my own place so very bad. Fri, 28 Nov 2014 05:01:29 EST BE THANKFUL http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5823419 To all my dear friends and family out there who take tomorrow as the one day they give themselves permission to eat all they want, please rethink this!!! It's not worth it and if you're a food addict like me it could be the day that leads to a thousand more days of nonstop eating. I, myself, cannot afford such a risk!!! Besides, it's about the people you're with- not the food!! Wed, 26 Nov 2014 15:41:57 EST i need a meeting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5821207 Beginning to see and experience the difference between childish and child like. A childish 56 year old is not very pretty. <BR> A child -like 56 year old is a beautiful creation of God. Full of love, trust. Compassion. Able to use her past drama in a positive way to help others. <BR> That is my goal from this day forward. <BR> To be consistent in my recovery. To learn self-discipline, especially around the food. And to remember that this is a WE program. I forget over and over again. God a... Sat, 22 Nov 2014 17:13:30 EST FEELING BLUE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816543 Today I'm feeling blue. I'm ready to not care about my diabetes any longer. By the time I lose weight and finally get a healthy control on my life I feel like I'll just be a sack of excess skin walking around. It really demotivated me. I overate tonight and didn't care about my sugars just to try and console my mind. Fri, 14 Nov 2014 06:15:17 EST MY MOM IS REALLY GONE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814709 I woke up and for just a fleeting moment I forgot you are gone from this world,I can't steal my own car to come and see you or call you on the phone to hear your voice.It will be a whole month gone by tomorrow.I would give anything if I could do that for just One more day. — feeling devastated. Tue, 11 Nov 2014 08:09:57 EST NON SCALE VICTORY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5812743 Would appreciate comments on the No Scale Victories. I think I just had a huge breakthrough in being able to admit I am powerless and my life is unmanageable and that I really do need God and OA. And help. By the grace of God I didn't run to the food when things didn't meet my expectations. And instead of beating myself up with food I was able to walk through the fear of people and ask for help. <BR> My mind tried to do what it always does -run and hide in the sugar. But for some reason I ha... Fri, 7 Nov 2014 18:24:22 EST ANOTHER NEW DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5807091 Not going to eat over today, but I do want to curl up into a ball and stay in bed all day. Sometimes the emotional pain is all consuming enough that I dont feel hungry for once. I think weekly therapy would help. Been resistant until now because I just figured life was life and I should be able to suck it up. But after working on my OA steps and realizing my life truly is unmanageable, not on the outside, but inside... me...myself...my thoughts...my own self destructive behavior is unmangeabl... Wed, 29 Oct 2014 17:06:42 EST A NEW PROGRAM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5806092 i have no trigger foods now but years ago i use to,food is not my problem now,my problem is me. Tue, 28 Oct 2014 02:40:44 EST GIVE IT AWAY TO KEEP IT http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5795052 Good morning everyone! I have no idea what i am going to post till i begin to write. I woke and am tired, have a long day ahead and won't finish work till 11pm. Motivation - what is it? It's what makes us go, gets us going, keeps us going. Some get it from faith, i know that is a huge boost for me! Some from family, friends, music. No matter what motivates you, use it to your full advantage. This post motivates me daily! How? There are several people that respond (and you know who you are) an... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 06:28:11 EST FIRST THINGS FIRST http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5794697 This october 2014 I celebrated 4 years clean and sober. I was diagnosed with diabetes in october of 2006. My weight at that time was 440 + . When I got to OA I weighed 440. Yesterday at the doctor's I weighed 304 with shoes and after lunch. My A1c has gone down from 14.5 in 2012 to 9.5 yesterday. I worked with a wonderful case manager for 1 year on the spiritual and emotional ends of the disease, thinking I could control the physical on my own with the diabetes /and aa people. A friend in OA ... Wed, 8 Oct 2014 13:34:11 EST BIG GIRL PANTIES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793607 a tough day indeed. The quiet days are the hardest no distractions here. I'm miserably uncomfortable. Excited about the arrival of my daughters new baby coming while preparing to be devastated by the departure of my mom. What emotional torture. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Having a pity party tonight. I'll put my big girl panties back on in the morning. Mon, 6 Oct 2014 19:53:35 EST IF NOTHING CHANGES NOTHING CHANGES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793598 Feeling much better after getting things in perspective and talking with a friend. Whew! I'm having to learn life lessons and take care of things on my own instead of with someone else. I've only truly been on my own without trying to depend on others to do things with me for this calendar year. I'm doing well overall, but it sometimes gets to me for a little while. I have always had the ability. I have just never exercised it. I'm going through some growing pains at the moment, but I am gett... Mon, 6 Oct 2014 19:28:27 EST WWJD??? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793564 Went to the store the other day and left without getting my usual candy bar, cookies or coke. How did I do it? I just imagined that there were two of us pushing the cart. Me and my HP. He just wouldn't stop by these items. Mon, 6 Oct 2014 18:00:55 EST WHY WEIGH http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5791460 I've stated before that weight loss is important to me in this program. Let me restate that. Weight loss is a wonderful tool I use. I use it to gauge whether or not my abstinence is truly working for me or against me. While I love that the weight is coming off, I am finding that it's not the thing that is bringing me the most joy and confidence, which comes as such a surprise to me, because I always placed such great importance on "being thin." But as I head outside for a little walk (even in... Fri, 3 Oct 2014 02:46:45 EST step four http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5790663 Relearning that I don't have room in my life for resentment. Forgiveness is the path to peace. It's just hard to 'let someone get away with such and such a behavior' sometimes. Still, it's not worth giving up my peace. <BR> Fourth Step Prayer - God help me to show tolerance, pity and patience. This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done. Wed, 1 Oct 2014 20:12:03 EST THE MONSTER WHO LIVES HERE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787744 I just want to kill myself and end this severe unending pain.I am so out of hope and just about ready to completely lose my faith in God and everything I ever believed in .Is it possible for a humkan to walk on this earth but they are NOT really a human at all?? I have decided I live with someone who is not even Human.I live with a evil monster that walks in a human body.Yesterday this monster wanted to throw chairs and a big box of over 20 pounds flew by my head just missing me.He told me ho... Sat, 27 Sep 2014 07:00:26 EST A BRAND NEW DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787714 morning friends,I have been up all night crying,surely I have lost 5 pounds but I will get weighed and let you know later,looking forward to october coming,but until then first on my list is to ask for Help and getting out of dodge city here,# 1:first i will find a friend to stay with for a few days ASAP til I unwind and stop crying and then #2:I will find a friend and or place to stay just til i get my check back and my own room somewhere,staying here no matter how much i want to is no longe... Sat, 27 Sep 2014 04:09:06 EST LORD HELP ME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787168 Thank you Lord for given me the strength when I am my weakest. Thank you for your encouragement to believe in myself. Thank you for every blessing you have over filled my cup with. Thank for your words and direction to be the best me I can be. With you I am an overcomer. Amen. Fri, 26 Sep 2014 06:13:00 EST the end of this http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787166 woke up with a migraine and the gut feeling i need to find a new place to live asap,like yesterday,feeling sick and upset on my birthday and wishing i was not here is not going to cut it any longer for my progress,I just wish i knew what the hell to do next as oct being on protocol /food plan has to come first before all else,free room and board is worth none of this!!!!!!!!! Fri, 26 Sep 2014 06:06:52 EST NEVER STOP PRAYING:GOD IS GOOD http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786719 Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you right now in the name of Jesus Christ ... asking that you save me from my sins ... so I can get to know you - so I can be friends with you. <BR> God, I admit and confess that You paid the price for me to be able to be made right (be reconciled in good standing) with You . . . by dying that painful death on the cross and shedding Your innocent blood for me. When You were hanging there dying, You had me in mind. You died for me! So now, Lord Jesus, I accept Y... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 10:35:05 EST FEELING BLAH,THIS TOO SHALL PASS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786518 i feel like all i am is just a burden or a hassle. I secretly wish i would die in my sleep tonight. Im tired of being in pain every waking moment of my life. Idk whats worse, physical pain or the emotional pain it brings. Im just tired of suffering. Thu, 25 Sep 2014 02:57:51 EST prayers for my mom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786009 please continue to pray for my mom,she had severe seizers and was taken by ambelence with blood pressure of only 30 to icu then a regular room,then moved to a nursing home,today she returns to my daughters by ambulence to her home again,she is not really knowing us now and in alot of pain on hospice,ty so much if you could pray for my mom to have comfort,amen Wed, 24 Sep 2014 09:14:40 EST recommitting step one oa http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781870 Recommitting. Yes I go to meetings, but I realized today I haven't been working my program hard enough. My abstinence is...okay. Could be better. I need to live the steps! I've been too passive, not even thinking about it, the steps, the whole things. <BR> So without further ado: hi I'm Katleen, compulsive eater. I'm at step one fully: I admit I'm powerless over food and my eating behaviors, that my life is unmanageable. <BR> God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, change th... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 20:09:07 EST HOSPICE AND MY MOM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768570 Friends I am home...and I am pathetically sad. I mean I have always felt heartache when I came home from a wonderful vacation, but with me being overwhelming un satisfied in my life/weight /health... and surrounding here anyway, it is much worth coming back. I feel sad, I feel lonely...the only thing I missed where you (thanks to a bad connection), my family and friends...I really do need to change a lot. I hope after the first days of sulking I will find the energy I felt during this trip to... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:19:44 EST A FRESH NEW DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768562 I've been struggling the last few days. But something happened yesterday that brought me back to reality, Life in general. As someone was talking about their life & how bad things were, then about that time my program kicked in. <BR> ***I am the only one responsible for me. With the help of my HP - GOD, I can do this. It's up to me to pick up the material, work the Steps, go to meetings, use the tools, communication with a Sponsor & pray/meditate daily. One foot in front of the other, one da... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:03:33 EST NEVER TOO LATE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752688 It’s never too late to live a life that makes you proud. If you don’t learn anything else from this post, learn that. We get one shot at this. There’s no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isn’t authentic is a tragic waste. Honestly, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit – you can simply start and stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of it. I... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 07:17:23 EST MY MOM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5751642 I moved away but i keep looking back,I need to re-learn and make new habits here and now,yes,self preservation.I need to put it first and formost,I love my mom so much but she is dying and I can't prevent that from happening,so I must let it and her go to save myself.It breaks my heart. Sat, 2 Aug 2014 11:49:24 EST FOOT WORK http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745771 ~ GoOoOoOOoOoOood Thursday Morning, EVERYONE!!!!.....Finally not so lethargic.....I have been under the weather all week; however, I am more than grateful it is very temporary.....I have nothing to complain about because my life on a daily basis is more than good and I am very blessed to have exactly what I do.....As of late, I have been staying in the positive no matter what and focusing on a stronger relationship with my higher power and the footwork I must do to continue growing.....I am p... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 14:06:31 EST A NEW ADVENTURE WITH OMNI http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5696560 On this journey of mine, I am discovering all kinds of things. New emotions, new opportunities, new desires. I am learning to see myself & to identify the things that lift me up, and letting go of the things that hold me down. I am becoming brave enough to confront my demons, and make friends with them. As amazing as all this can be, becoming a better me is tiring. So today, I am focusing on self care & resting. And today I see that taking time to be sweet to my own self is not avoidance or d... Fri, 16 May 2014 17:27:16 EST Omni rocks!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5682367 I am also a survivor of sexual abuse. I overate to not feel the pain. I went to a counselor a for many years and I told her. I could no longer keep it a secret After I told her, the thoughts never consumed me again. Please find a counselor that specializes on this topic. The 12 steps and a sponsor will help you also. Come to find out I have other reasons I overate also! I was addicted to food that is why I am here. Now I feel my feelings instead of eating.I love you and hugs! I go to weight ... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 12:05:50 EST LET IT GO OR NOT http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5670453 so happy we have this page,as some of you know me n the mr had lots of problems last year and i had a order for him to stay away,he broke it and now its on his record.he told me a couple weeks ago he was gonna ask the judge to seal it so it does not show when he applys for a job,i told him the court would ask me and i would say no so not to bother. he did not believe me and asked for a court date!!!i am beyond mad!!!!!! they are going to ask me and i will say no just like i told him!!!!!!yes,... Sat, 12 Apr 2014 11:38:39 EST ONE STEP AHEAD http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5667405 I know it isn't about weight. This is embarrassing but also an accomplishment. I wasn't going to share, but I thought I should. In 2007, I stopped overeating and started my recovery. In 2010, I stopped cutting myself. 7 year recovery with overeating and 4 for cutting. In 2011-2012, I weighed 435 pounds. I could barely walk upstairs and refused to take my medications. I was diagnosed as a diabetic and other problems. I started doing one thing at a time. Taking one step at a time. One day at a ... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 13:10:46 EST OA AND ME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5666393 OA works as these pictures of my physical recovery illustrate. However, the true gift of recovery is not losing over 150 plus lbs, but silencing that incessant, abusive noise of "what am I going to eat, when, how, and where am I going to eat it, how am I going to lose weight, when will I join Weight Watchers...AGAIN...wait until after Easter, how much do I weigh, what size am I, why am I so weak, pathetic, FAT? It is not fair, look at that skinny girl she must be so happy, it is too hard. BLA... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 10:31:19 EST BACK TO BASICS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5666205 I'm slowly killing myself... avoiding everything. Especially Me... I've managed to set some goals to take care of me. Yous know the basic everyday living that I have purposely stopped doing. Like pray... brush my teeth...eat... take a shower...get sleep...look in the mirror and say: I am worth it. Be happy...do something positive for myself... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 06:29:57 EST PRAYING 4 ME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5661391 Feel so so like I can't get anything accomplished . I know that with the overeaters anonymous program that they say you first have to admit your powerless over the food and that your life has become unmanageable which is also true for me but in addition to eating , even the things in my whole life are so much out of control. I seem so tired usually and also can't seem to concentrate enough to get these done that are things I should and want to work on like improving my diet , reading the Bibl... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 04:38:44 EST PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660931 Still in major mouth pain n infection,must go back and go thru bones ground down and or removed and I have been trying to put it off but my blood sugars are rising but I am feeling a bit better ,not sure if its the new meds or I just feel better!!!!I can not wait for tomorrow to come!!!!It is 45 here and I am so glad I made it from oct. to now,I was so sick I just wanted to die and now I am feeling a glimmer of hope regardless of the bad days and moments.I have my food on track,I have not gai... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 14:09:07 EST I AM ME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5657143 Once again I have reached the point where standing up for myself in my wants, wishes, beliefs, is where I am at. I won't back down anymore to anyone. Don't like my decisions, unfriend me, don't talk to me. For along time i've been backing down to what makes others happy NOT myself NO more. I have my faults, I'm more than willing to accept my blame, my consequences. I'm still o.k. with that I am who I am Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:29:49 EST