WHOVIANGIRL23's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=WHOVIANGIRL23 WHOVIANGIRL23's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Caught in a trap... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5704843 I can't walk out! <BR> <BR> Hello ssparkles... long time no talk! I apologize in advance for spelli any mistakes, I'm typing this on my lovely touchscreen phone, and as we all know, touchscreen can play havoc on words. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I'm struggling (I know, big shocker).. I should actually be asleep right now since I have to get up early for work, but my mind is just racing right now, so sleep isn't really happening. <BR> <BR> So those of you that have been around long enough to really... Wed, 28 May 2014 00:54:31 EST California dreamin'. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5678866 Heya sparkles, I'm back! Sorry for my extended absence... at first I was avoiding Spark because I was off track (naturally, that's generally always the time that I avoid it), but then before I knew it, moving time was upon me! I'm in CA now, have been for almost 2 weeks (it'll be 2 weeks on Friday). No internet yet, so my contact is limited unless I'm at my parents house using internet (which is what I'm currently doing). <BR> <BR> Cali is pretty nice so far. I live out in the country, whic... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 17:29:45 EST I can feel it coming in the air tonight. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5645557 Well, I'm happy to report that today is day 9 of my "back on track" streak!! Being back at Zumba feels AMAAAAAAAAAAZING. The first couple classes were ridiculously hard. I remembered most of the moves, but oh my gosh... my grace had pretty much all disappeared... as well as my flexibility.. and my ability to move... I pretty much gallumphed around like a baby calf for the whole hour, and left feeling frustrated (but still happy). It's only been about a week, but the classes are already gettin... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 17:47:20 EST The dreaded shame spiral. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5637658 Ah yes, the old shame spiral. We all know it. It's that cycle that starts when you slip up and gain a few pounds back. You get angry, and instead of working to reverse the negative, you keep adding to it. You eat more, and workout less. Is it a punishment to yourself? In my case it is. Instead of reaching out for help, you lock it away in your shame box, and continue to pack on the pounds. You don't go back to classes, because you don't want everyone to see the weight you've put back on. You ... Sun, 2 Mar 2014 12:21:41 EST Take back YOUR power!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5615861 <em>230</em> SPOILER ALERT <em>230</em> IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE BL WINNER, SKIP THIS SECTION!! <BR> I'm not going to say much about this, only that I DID watch the finale, and I am EXTREMELY disappointed with the outcome. Rachael is definitely underweight and unhealthy, and I really hope that she can get help for what I can only guess is an eating disorder. I also hope that the show/trainers will acknowledge this. <BR> <BR> But that aside, that really got me thinking. I saw a quot... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 11:45:04 EST Midnight Memories. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5612071 Well hello again my sparkles..I hope you are all doing better than I have been. Right now I'm doing the typical "It's the first of the month and I need to restart again" thing. The scale has an AWFUL number on it, but I was truthful and updated my tracker..I'm so so so very ashamed. <BR> I don't really even know WHY I've been so grossly offtrack for such a long period of time. It's been since about November, and I've only managed to have ONE consistently on track week since then. ONE week in... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 12:15:27 EST Take a risk, take a chance, make a change. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5596402 Happy middle of the week Sparkies! <BR> I'm still not completely on track, but I've made progress. I cut soda back out, I'm trying to have a bit more control with food, and I'm working out again. Eventually it will all click into place again. Now without further ado... <BR> <BR> So right now, I'm kind of stuck in a rut. It appears that my craphead husband has stopped the child support that he was sending me. As a result, I can't pay my rent. I'm making just above minimum wage, and not gettin... Thu, 16 Jan 2014 22:07:54 EST Someone please pinch me! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5586871 What in the blue hell is wrong with me!? I can't seem to get it together! <BR> Monday, I hit the reset button again. I didn't exercise, but I ate perfect. Yesterday, I exercised, ate mostly perfect, but then had a big binge after I got off work. It's like every shred of self control I have is gone! And it's not even like I'm getting different food every time I binge, I generally tend to get the same things. Why do I continue to binge on these same foods several times a week? I know for a lot... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 12:27:09 EST Look for the girl with the broken smile. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5578817 Well first of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you lovely sparkles. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l390335058.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I'm so very sorry that I've been away for so long.. I did the typical fall off the wagon and run and hide thing. I've tried to restart without success several times. I fell off around the middle of November, and as sick as this is to admit, I've gained 18 pounds back in that time. That should give you some sort of indication as to how much I've b... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 00:13:48 EST Clothes shopping, sabotage, and the fear of change (pix) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5545280 Happy middle of November lovelies! Can you believe we are already over halfway through November? Time is just FLYING! There's 9 days until my birthday and Thanksgiving, I'm so excited. I decided yesterday that I would go on the hunt for my birthday/Thanksgiving outfit since I was off of work. My first stop was Old Navy since they are my go to for jeans and work pants. I've noticed that all my size 14s are getting baggy, so I figured what the heck, I'll see if I can pour myself into a pair of ... Tue, 19 Nov 2013 13:02:52 EST Yep, I'm a loser. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5535163 So while I was taking a shower earlier, I was thinking about the holidays. You see, there are three types of people during the holiday seasons. <BR> 1. There are the gainers. They are the ones who eat everything in sight, push exercise to the side, and excuse it all by saying "oh well it's just the holidays, I'll get back on track when the new year starts". <BR> 2. The maintainers. These are the ones who might have a crazy balance of exercise and holiday food, a balance that doesn't produce... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 19:32:13 EST What a difference 54 lbs can make... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5529337 Well, it's officially November! I didn't rock October like I wanted to, but you can bet I'm gonna blast through November! There's 27 days til my birthday, and I'm challenging myself to see how much I can lose before then! I'm hoping to hit the 170s, because I don't think I've ever weighed that little, and it would be amazing. Plus, cute birthday/thanksgiving outfit! <BR> <BR> And now for the emotional bit.. I just made these comparison pictures, and I'm actually crying because of the emotion... Fri, 1 Nov 2013 14:16:45 EST Swear to shake it up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5526719 Well sparkles, it looks like I'm back on the upswing for the moment. Yesterday was my first full day of exercise and perfect eating. I was going to slowly ease back into the exercise, but I said f*ck it and jumped in head first! I need to remind myself that I've been at this for nearly 6 months now, and my body can do more than I think it can. <BR> <BR> I originally was planning to start 30 Day Shred on November 1st, but then I said why wait? Yesterday was the 28th, which means it was exact... Tue, 29 Oct 2013 17:59:29 EST A good man goes to war. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5523196 Okay everyone, it's confession time.. I've had a temporary roommate this week. I could call him an old friend, but the truth is, he's a terrible influence. Some might say he's more like an enemy. You see, he likes to show up at the worst time. Well, for me it's the worst time, but for him, it's the best. It's when I'm the most vulnerable. He likes to wait until I'm feeling untouchable, like a rockstar. Then he comes in with brutal force, and throws me from the stage. Once I'm down there in th... Fri, 25 Oct 2013 13:14:47 EST The past is in the past.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5516094 But is it really? It's a well known saying.. That what happened in the past should stay there, but what about the things that continue to effect you even now? <BR> <BR> While talking with one of my dearest friends yesterday, I actually figured out some of the reasons that I do the things I do. So here's a little insight into my head/my past.. <BR> <BR> 1. My need for instant gratification. <BR> This is a HUGE thing with me. I have designated Sundays as my weighin day, my rest day, and my "f... Thu, 17 Oct 2013 12:48:56 EST The week from hell.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5513290 To start, I want to say THANK YOU so much for the support everyone gave me regarding one of my best friends passing away. I'm sorry I have not gone and thanked everyone individually, I spent last week in a fog, and didn't really do much of anything (except eat...). But it all means so much to me, and I'm so so very grateful. <BR> <BR> Now about the downfall my healthy lifestyle took last week.... Verrrry very shameful. About halfway through the week, I think I just said f*ck it.. I went out ... Mon, 14 Oct 2013 13:45:04 EST Smile though your heart is aching.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5505989 So as many of you have seen from my statuses, one of my dearest friends passed away yesterday morning, after finally losing her 10 month long battle with cancer. This is the friend that I had posted the donation blog up about a few months ago. We were all hoping for a miracle, but it was just not in the cards for her. Me and the other 2 girls from our little circle had gone to the hospice center to say goodbye to her on Thursday. I'm trying not to remember her the way she looked that day, bec... Sun, 6 Oct 2013 12:33:57 EST I went from zero to my own hero. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5500230 Hello Sparkies, welcome to another week! I am happy to report that as of yesterday, I have officially lost 50 pounds! I'm still blown away by it, and I actually keep crying over it, because I can't believe that I found the dedication to lose that much weight. I am now officially halfway to my goal of losing 100 pounds (possibly more, but that's my major goal, and I'll decide if I want more once I know how I look). I am now officially 3 pounds away from my lowest recorded adult weight of 184 t... Mon, 30 Sep 2013 11:15:54 EST I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5495689 Hello lovelies! I hope everyone is having a good week so far, I've been working my butt off. <BR> <BR> And I'm SUPER excited! Next year in March, as a reward to myself for all the weight I have (and still will lose more before then) lost, I AM GOING TO VEGAS! I have never been on an adult vacation before, and I've never been to Vegas! I'm even more excited about it because I'm going with my best friend Zana (JADED_CHICK19). I met her through SP when I first started in 2011, and we have been ... Wed, 25 Sep 2013 09:27:36 EST When was the last time YOU did it? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5493280 Okay everyone, let's all be honest for a second. When is the last time you touched yourself? I mean, when was the last time you reaaaally felt yourself up? <BR> <BR> <em>227</em> Before anyone gets stuffy, I'm not being perverted. I've discovered over this long journey that sometimes the best way to find progress is to feel yourself up! Today as I was shaving my legs, I ran my hand up my calf and noticed seriously firm muscles there. I ran my hand over my shoulder, and felt not only my co... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 23:30:40 EST Candy and cookies and pie, oh my! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5489109 Happy hump day sparkles! I hope the week is treating you all well so far. I stumbled a bit last night with food, a controlled sushi dinner led to way too much candy and chips, yikes! I need to learn to have healthy snacks on hand for movie nights! <BR> <BR> Today is a stupid day. It marks 6 years of being married to my stupid "ex-husband" (he's unfortunately still my husband, I can't find the bastard to divorce him). I'm sure he is off somewhere partying with one or more stupid skanky broads... Wed, 18 Sep 2013 09:45:10 EST You call yourself fat Amy?! (Pictures) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5487182 Hello my lovelies! Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. Last week was super hard, because I was trying to get my food and exercise back on track. The week before that, I binged basically for 8 days straight, and didnt exercise at all. I fell back into fat Amy mentality, and I just did not care. When Monday came back around, I forced myself back into it. I did have one slip up on Wednesday, but luckily it only set me back a pint of ice cream and a small bag of candy corn. Not great, but nothing... Mon, 16 Sep 2013 11:34:25 EST How to be a grown up.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5477389 Okay seriously, I feel like I fail totally at being a grown up! In some aspects, I feel like I've got it down perfectly. I try to always eat good meals, and not live off of TV dinners and ramen (although I probably would if I was a college kid who didn't care about my health), I always show up to work and never call in unless its absolutely necessary, and I'm not an alcoholic (anymore). But in most of the other ways, I fumble. I suck at cleaning. Completely suck. Like.. My apartment is defini... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 03:10:08 EST Life throws you curves.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5474835 But you learn to swerve... <BR> <BR> This week seems to be the first curveball I've gotten so far in the game. My daughter woke up with a stomach bug on Sunday, and its still with her today. I am absolutely exhausted from taking care of her, she's exhausted from being sick.. Just hasn't been a good week thus far. I was bad with food last night, and I haven't worked out since Saturday. I'm trying to stay positive, and remind myself that even if all I can do is maintain this week and not lose ... Tue, 3 Sep 2013 16:40:12 EST But why is all the water gone?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5466893 I feel a bit like Captain Jack Sparrow right now.. Cept it's regarding water, not rum. I forgot that the water at my apartment complex was going to be shut off for a good portion of today, and I didn't prepare for it.. Amazing how much we rely on water aside from drinking it! I only have two bottles of it in the fridge and there's still a few more hours til the water will be turned back on, and even then once I fill up the water bottles, it will take more hours for them to get cold enough for... Mon, 26 Aug 2013 14:06:05 EST The universe is screaming at me... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5463357 Hello lovelies. As you might know from my last blog, I am now residing in the ONEderful ONEderland. I officially hit it at my Monday weigh in. And since Monday, I feel like the week went downhill. My body hasn't wanted to cooperate with workouts, I've only had the energy to Zumba, not my usual combination of Zumba + yoga or Zumba + Strength. And even that energy has been waning. I know I should probably just take a rest day and just relax, because that's probably why my body is tired. But thi... Thu, 22 Aug 2013 18:39:03 EST GOAL!!! I MADE IT! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5459948 Oh wow, Onederland, here I am again! It's been a hell of a fight, and some days I never thought I would see you again, but here I am! I've packed up all my stuff that I had when I lived in Twoderville, and I'm taking up a permanent residency here. There were some things that I had to learn along the way, and man they were hard lessons to learn. <BR> <BR> 1. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1770580113.jpg"> <BR> I struggled with this one for a long time. The first time I st... Mon, 19 Aug 2013 13:19:53 EST The fighter in me.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5458215 Just a warning, this isn't completely meant to be a depressing blog, more so to get some stuff out of my head and explain why it fueled me today. <BR> <BR> I had a rough night last night. I've been feeling lonely lately, and of course, hormones aren't helping it. I was lying in bed scrolling through FB last night, and feeling like everyone on my list is getting into relationships, getting married, having the wonderful little families that I always wanted.. What I tried to have, but that blew... Sat, 17 Aug 2013 16:22:53 EST I'm not a ray of sunshine today.. (Lots of pictures) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5456150 Let me start this by saying, to everyone who read my last blog and donated/shared my friends story, thank you. We have raised over $3,000 since then, and are now sitting at $5,240. There's still more needed, but we are well on our way there. So thank you, from the very bottom of my heart. <BR> <BR> And now on to my disappointment.. This has been a really super rough week for me! To give you all a little TMI (men, close your eyes now!) I am really irregular, and so I've been PMSing for a mont... Thu, 15 Aug 2013 12:40:36 EST A moment of your time... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5452118 Okay, let me say the happy stuff first. I had to do my weigh in a day early, so I weighed in this morning. Good loss, I am now at 201.6, which means that if I push hard, I should be able to break into Onderland next week!!! That's very very exciting news for me. <BR> <BR> Okay, now on to the other topic. I don't usually do this, and I don't usually ask things from people. Take a second to check out this link, http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraise<BR>r/sarah-s-soldiers-/77742 . I know no... Sun, 11 Aug 2013 20:47:01 EST My heavy heart.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5445093 Okay, let's say the exciting news first. I weighd at 204.4 this morning, which means I'm only 4.5 pounds away from onederland!! And I really think that if I kill it this month, I will definitely be there by the end of the month! That makes me really happy! <BR> <BR> So that started my morning off right, then I got on FB and saw something that really broke my heart. There (was) a guy on my friends list that I knew from high school. He has always been known for being really blunt/blurting out ... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 10:24:14 EST The unintentional binge and purge. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5436913 Oh boy, I am so sick right now. It's 2:30 in the morning and all I want to do is sleep, but I can't. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, I had a really rough day. So last night, since I hadn't had a splurge in a while, I decided I wanted to split a pizza with my friend. That quickly snowballed when I ate 4 large slices of double bacon 6 cheese pizza and half a bag of chocolate. PMS + bad day + a treat to feel better = bad idea. When I went to bed, I didn't feel sick. Uncomfortably full, yes.. But I wasn't ... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 05:44:54 EST Life ain't always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5436200 Helloooooo again everybody. I keep saying I'm going to blog more, and I keep going longer and longer in between my blogs. I've still been on track, plugging along. I am a bit frustrated because I peeked at the scale this morning, and despite having burned over 5k calories this week through exercise ALONE, I've lost nothing. How is that even possible?! Very frustrated over that right now, I hate working hard and seeing nothing for it. Everyone is suggesting that I'm not eating enough, but I'm ... Sun, 28 Jul 2013 12:52:05 EST Take these broken wings and learn to fly. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5424184 Goooood morning sparkles. I'm getting really bad at this blogging thing, which is bizarre because I love to blog. I've had blog ideas circling my head, I just haven't wanted to take the time to sit down and type them out. I'm still kicking copious amounts of arse. I got to buy smaller sized work pants because my other ones were falling off. So these should last me for a few months until they start falling off too (no objections there). I'm still wanting to do the Color Run in December, so my ... Wed, 17 Jul 2013 12:16:26 EST This girl is on fire! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5414968 Hello lovelies! Sorry I know it's been like over a week since I last blogged. I've been firmly on track, just haven't come up with anything interesting to say. Buuuuut I figured I should pull something together. <BR> <BR> Last week I busted my arse and pulled off a 4 lb loss on the scale this morning. I was pretty shocked, and extremely happy. That more than made up for the no loss last week (which was solely my fault). I know that probably won't be possible two weeks in a row, but you bet y... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 23:29:15 EST I'm a chef?! (With pictures) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5406831 Hola lovelies. Sorry I've been missing the last couple days! I've been lurking around, but not really doing much of anything. I injured my knee at the beginning of this week on Tuesday, and haven't been able to do much in the way of exercising since then. It's been pretty swollen, so I've been staying off it and icing it as much as possible. The swelling seems to have been going down between yesterday and today (finally) so I'm crossing my fingers in hopes that I can do an easy workout tomorr... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 22:57:25 EST Not much change, still trying to be positive (with pix) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5401486 Okay so I feel like a cool kid right now, I finally figured out how to do the side by side collages for comparison pictures. So I made some. I don't honestly see much difference between the two, but, I know that it will eventually come as long as I keep plugging away at it. It's only been about 3 weeks since I've really been giving it my all (the pictures on the left are from early April, but I never really got into the groove, I did like two days and then stopped). So I know that I really sh... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 15:13:18 EST When body positive goes too far. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5398241 First off, I want to thank everyone for all your support on my last blog. It's been a really rough week, but I think I've got most of it worked through now. <BR> <BR> Okay, and now for my rant. So I'm a very active Tumblr user. I mostly use it for reblogging fandom things, but I've always been spending a lot of time lately looking under the #bodypositive tag. Now I will say, a lot of it is great. There's a lot of people both male and female, who are working towards accepting their bodies jus... Sat, 22 Jun 2013 12:17:03 EST If you're going through hell..(vent) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5396107 Oh man. So yesterday was a bad day. And not just one of those "man I feel really unmotivated and lame" type of bad days. I mean the "I spent the first half hour of my shift at work sobbing in one of the offices" type of bad days. <BR> <BR> Little backstory, most of you know that I'm a single mom. Have been for 4 years. When I left my ex husband and moved back to Tucson, I did it knowing that I would be alone. None of my family lives here anymore, and while my ex husbands family does still li... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 09:22:38 EST A bit of deep thinking.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5394096 Okay well first let me start by saying WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I went to my second Zumba class tonight. And ohhhhhhh I don't know why but it was harder than last nights class. Still loads of fun, but I felt like my body was moving slow today. That's okay, I still worked up a great hour long sweat! I took one of my friends along with me, she is super duper rail thin but really out of shape and she wants to get back in shape (she used to do belly dancing and college marching band). She had a lot of... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:06:45 EST A dream is coming true! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5392757 Well ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to announce that tonight, I went to my first Zumba class!! I'm so thankful for all of you that talked me into it. I had SO much fun. They even said that for my first time, I was really good. I felt so proud! I immediately signed up for the 8 class a month package, so I can go 2 days a week. Ill see how it goes and how money is, and possibly up the class count further down the road. I can't believe that I'm finally getting to dance just like I've always wa... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:31:06 EST Sunshine through the rain.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5390369 Well, this won't be a long blog entry since I'm doing it on my phone while at work on my lunch. Had to eat dinner here which was a protein bar and a banana. I try not to eat protein bars very often because they don't rereally satisfy me. Buuuuuut didn't really have a choice. It has to be my dinner tomorrow too, I friggin hate closing shifts. Oh well. A protein bar and fruit is better than junk food. <BR> <BR> I had to come to terms today with the fact that my body will not let me do high in... Sat, 15 Jun 2013 22:44:31 EST Today in the battle of woman vs food... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5389310 I am happy to report that woman won. I didn't intentionally go shopping on an empty stomach today, it's just that it was in between snack time and lunch time so it wasn't time for me to eat anything. It felt like a day long outing even though it was only a couple hours. I had to go get my check, walk to the bank and cash it (its in the same parking lot as my work) then walk BACK to work to pick up a couple things... Then I went to Sprouts in hopes of finding the coveted VitaPizza that I have ... Fri, 14 Jun 2013 17:30:18 EST I just want to dance.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5388101 Zumba..it seems to be the big hype right now. It's dancing, how could it not be? I've always wanted to dance.. And not even just one particular style of dance, all the dances. When I was in high school, I would go to the dance team performances sometimes. I wanted to join the beginners dance team so bad, but was too humiliated because they were all slim and graceful and I was fat and clunky. So I never did. I always just watched dance movies.. Dance performances.. Always transfixed by the bea... Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:11:06 EST Uncaffeinated workouts and peppermint patties... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5387445 Happy hump day every! I'm halfway through this week, and still going strong! <BR> <BR> I had to work early this morning at 8 am. So last night I made the decision to get up super super early and workout before work, because if I put it off until after work, I won't get it done. I'm queen of excuses. So I went to bed early, and stumbled out of bed early.. Ate part of my breakfast, did my workout, then had the other part of my breakfast with my coffee. I gotta say, doing my workout before I've... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 22:36:56 EST The road to Heaven's paved with miles of clouded hell. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5386400 Well, much to my delight, today is day two under my belt of being 100% on track with eating and exercise. Did my Turbo Jam again this morning, and then decided to swim again after work. Probably gonna even swim again tomorrow. I figure it gets me and the kiddo out of the house, plus there's the whole exercise bonus I'm getting on it. I generally avoid the pool like the plague because I'm humiliated to be seen in my bathing suit. But I'm trying to get over that fear, because being in the pool ... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 23:18:28 EST I kicked my own arse today! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5385104 Man, what a long day! Started out with me getting up a little later than I wanted, because I couldn't fall asleep til around 3 this morning. Yuck! So I ended up getting up at 9 instead of 8. Will shoot for an earlier time tomorrow. Aaaaanyway so I was pretty groggy and tired but I got some breakfast and coffee in my system and started to feel better. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, I committed to adding in exercise along with Deb and Zana. So as much as I didn't want to, I laced up my shoes. I had eve... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 21:46:36 EST The demon in me.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5382510 Lets all be honest for a minute.. We all have our inner demons. Mine just happen to be really over powering and controlling (where the hell are the Winchesters when I need them). I've got a few specific ones that I can name. There's Junk Food Johnny, Binge Betty, and Susie Excusie. They all like to hold hands and collectively ruin my life. See, it starts with JFJ. Towards the end of the day, he tends to wake up. Now he's not quiet when he wakes up either, he runs around with a trash can lid a... Sat, 8 Jun 2013 14:19:52 EST Learning to trust myself again.. (plus pictures!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5380541 Went to the grocery store today to get some more staples to have around. I'm recovering from last nights binge (ice cream, Cheetos and peanut butter) but I'm not too angry with myself. I noted how yucky it made me feel (especially when I tried to go to bed and I swear I had a food baby in my belly) but even more than that, I told myself that it's baby steps that will get me back on track for good. I was bingeing basically daily, and they were all day long binges. So if I go from every day to ... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 16:24:18 EST Healthy food can be like crack! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5379205 Random blog title, I know. But it's true. To me, I'm addicted to food. Junk food cravings are what I imagine crack cravings to be like. You want it, you'd do anything to get it, you don't care how it affects you, you just want it. But when I'm eating healthy, I find that healthy food can kind of be the same way for me. Last night for dinner, I had salmon with molasses bacon seasoning, cottage cheese with ground black pepper, and green beans that I spritzed a few times with butter spray. And i... Wed, 5 Jun 2013 13:28:47 EST