VTRICIA's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=VTRICIA VTRICIA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 2 years of maintenance: The Why http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831916 This is a symbolic day, moving from the 80%-96% likelihood of regain to 50%. One thing I've wondered throughout this is whether the change is incremental or simply reflects the statistics of attrition. What is the next level? Let me check. At 5 years it becomes 27%. <BR> <BR> And yet, as my last post indicated, I had to go back into weight management. After Veterans day (we ate out 3 times that day), a week off fitness due to a fall, and Thanksgiving, I was over my initial goal weight... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 11:56:44 EST Decreasing intake for first time in 2 years http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5828677 I guess it hasn't been fully 2 years, but other than the first couple months of calorie cycling, I've eaten 2,000 calories per day most of the time. <BR> <BR> I mentioned my weight being up and my son said "You mean you're out of maintenance?!?! No, I'm reducing my calories so I stay in maintenance. I'm also doing cardio 6 days a week, but I know that can cause increased water weight. <BR> <BR> The funny part is I meant to reduce my calories by 200 per day, but because I am not as good a... Sat, 6 Dec 2014 16:00:24 EST Where does that get fun? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5825189 This is a quote from a mercenary named Jayne Cobb who is wondering what the difference is between him and a psychopathic killer. He goes on to contemplate his slippery slope of conditions where he might kill a man, and it struck me as not too different from the slippery slope of special occasions that lead to overeating. <BR> <BR> Then I joked with my husband that I might make a "maintenance according to Firefly" thing. I know I've used a lot of them over the years here. <BR> "If you can... Sun, 30 Nov 2014 13:12:31 EST Once a year or every year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5823866 I was thinking about this the other day, that Thanksgiving is only once a year. But it also happens every year. And there are special occasions like Thanksgiving around every corner. <BR> <BR> Dietary consistency is one of the most powerful predictors of who is successful at maintenance. It means eating the same on weekends, holidays, and vacations as the rest of the week. For me, that means having the same overall calorie goal, not necessarily that I have to eat peanut butter sandwiches... Thu, 27 Nov 2014 12:36:59 EST The hardest part about maintenance for me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5817654 I'm not a fan of saying maintenance is hard. But the one thing about it that really terrified me was not having anyone tell me exactly what to do. In the last couple of weeks in Abnormal Psychology I have found out why. <BR> <BR> Self-diagnosis is not the done thing, but I've suspected for a long time that I had Borderline Personality Disorder, though more when I was younger. I'd never even heard of BPD until I was in my mid 30's. The key features are patterns of self-destructiveness, ... Sun, 16 Nov 2014 09:33:30 EST Portals to discovery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815594 I have a quote on my home page from James Joyce: "Mistakes are the portals to discovery". Yesterday I was 900 calories over by the end of the day, which is a huge number for me. But my husband wanted to get his veterans appreciation meals at different restaurants. If I hadn't eaten appetizers at lunch and a sneaky dessert after dinner, I'd have been very close to range. <BR> <BR> So it was a learning experience. I used to think maintenance was about ironing out all the learning experi... Wed, 12 Nov 2014 14:23:39 EST Situation Normal. How are you? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5811869 That's from Star Wars, when Han Solo is trying to impersonate the detention level chief. Which is to say, the situation is never normal. <BR> <BR> So right after my last blog, I got word that I hadn't made it into PA school. Not even to interviews! Blah. Well, the only thing I can regret is that I didn't give them the information they needed to see how awesome I am. And it would have been kind of crazy for me. And I still might try next year if plans B and C fall through. <BR> <BR> Pl... Thu, 6 Nov 2014 09:18:39 EST Belated hello to October http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793075 The first weekend in October is our church general conference, which is a time of inspiration and taking stock. My weight is stable, but on top of that 1.5 pounds from summer vacation. <BR> <BR> I'm going to try the 3x2 week strength split (pushup/squat circuits vs. pulldown/deadlift). I had been doing 2x2 each week, but I miss a day here and there and haven't been getting in any cardio. Doing 3 circuits a week, every other day, there's less wobble and hopefully I will get back to a worko... Sun, 5 Oct 2014 22:46:56 EST Counting calories at 20 months of maintenance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786416 In my old life, I was too willing to listen to the idea that counting calories doesn't work. Something I realized while I was on vacation this summer is that counting calories is a lot like using a timer when you cook. Now some people don't use timers when they cook. When my dad visits, he puts on a pot of rice and takes a nap and sometimes it's okay, but sometimes he has burned rice. (At home he has a rice cooker.) <BR> <BR> I don't use a timer for everything. If I'm scrambling eggs,... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 21:59:54 EST Where am I? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784072 It's been a while since I blogged. I have a lot going on. We're still making repairs to see if we can get the refinance, is kind of the big time sink. I'm only taking 7 credits this semester, but I come home from abnormal psychology just full of ideas and blogging like crazy. <BR> <BR> I have over a dozen blogs (some I think of more as web projects). As I've studied hoarding disorder, I think it's maybe time to simplify. <BR> <BR> I think I've been repressing my sadness about my old... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 13:19:02 EST Hello, Newman. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768864 That was the greeting Jerry Seinfeld used to give his nemesis. I finished my vacation and could see my feet were puffy from the car ride and the salty snacks. I knew I had gone a little over most days and had more than my share of plus days (where I go 300-500 over). I thought it over and knew I'd probably gained two pounds, which was where I landed after a few days of watching my sodium range. So now I'm smack dab against the normal/overweight BMI threshold. I may or may not be in the P... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 16:48:36 EST Ooops http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752085 Wow, a month goes by fast. I had no idea it had been that long since I'd updated my blog. I was already pretty busy with school, and then I was thinking of getting a job, but we decided to try for a refinance instead. So I was working a lot on getting the house ready for an appraisal (which we haven't heard back on). <BR> <BR> I was apparently stressed enough that it interfered with my cycle, but that's back on so that's good. I've gone over a few days in the last week, and need to kee... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 07:46:03 EST Que sera sera http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731905 The good news is I'm scoring pretty high on my anatomy tests. The bad news is I misinterpreted something I thought I heard the teacher say and have lost some credit on homework assignments. So I guess we'll see what he meant about attendance and participation at the end of the term. But I can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel for this term. <BR> <BR> My plan for spending these two weeks prepping the house for sale has not gone so well. Each day seems to fill up with other st... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 11:45:34 EST June in review http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5729401 It's been a while since I've done a month in review, but I did turn 44 this month, and I guess that sort of thing does always make me think a bit. It's been a couple of months since I decided I am fine with maintaining at 160. I kind of worried that when I stopped wishing I weighed less, I might start weighing more, but I seem to be hanging in at the same spot. I'm still eating about the same and working out about the same, so that totally makes sense. <BR> <BR> I do keep meaning to do ... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 22:12:28 EST 80 Maintenance weeks and my curious lack of heartburn http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5725709 I'll bask in a full ticker while I can, before it throws another chunk on there. Not sure if it goes to 100 or 120 or what. Or if it changes tomorrow or next Wednesday. <BR> <BR> I was having severe anxiety last night, verging on anxiety attacks, though I guess it may have been a stomach bug. Someone was telling me about getting all emotional and then having a migraine. This morning my stomach was so wound up, I couldn't tell if I was hungry or not, and now later my stomach just doesn... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 15:06:35 EST With a twist http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5720025 In anatomy class I learned that biceps flex and supinate, and here I've just been flexing as straight as I can this whole time! To supinate a biceps curl, you start with the dumbbells on either side of you like you're on parallel bars, and as you raise them you turn your hands so they wind up side by side like your gripping a chin up bar. <BR> <BR> I'm also working my rhomboids more on my lat rows. I don't know if I could tell you what that involves, though. I think it's a little more s... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 16:07:48 EST Thoughts on breaks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713768 When I went back to school last fall, I decided I wouldn't study on Sundays. And it really seems to benefit my studies. Refraining from doing school work for the one day renews my motivation so I'm champing at the bit on Monday morning. <BR> <BR> But today I realized how much I need a day off so I can think about my personal and spiritual life. These aspects of life require thought and creative energy the same as school does. I also like to cook things I may not usually take the time to ... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 22:54:48 EST Changing up the circuits http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5697371 For the past few months I've been doing a total body circuit twice a week. That's pushups, squats, bicycle crunches, incline pullups*, hamstring extensions and calf raises. I think I'm going to go to a split circuit again, mostly back/pulling muscles vs. front/pushing muscles. The total body is good for maintaining strength, but I want to get back to building. And I haven't been really using the time it frees up for cardio... <BR> <BR> As far as other goals go, I've got to get back to do... Sat, 17 May 2014 23:56:00 EST 17 months of Maintenamce http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5694199 Not really one of those nice round numbers, but some people think primes are lucky. I spent a lot of the day working on a personal statement for my first choice grad school program (physician assistant). They make you enter your transcripts into the system, and it's kind of tedious, but also gave me a chance to remember a lot of those classes and how fun they were. I'm sometimes harsh with myself for being so self-indulgent in undergrad, but at least I got good grades by following what I l... Tue, 13 May 2014 13:23:14 EST Ah, Debacle! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5687022 I had to testify in court on Wednesday, which I've never done before. It was pretty rattling. I was scheduled to take an exam that day, which I could take in advance but not after that date. I thought about taking it the night before, but decided another day, even one spent in the courthouse, would be better. And I did spend most of the day waiting, and did a lot of reading. <BR> <BR> Long story short, I got 61% on the exam. Prior to that I had a 91% average for the class. The scary ... Sun, 4 May 2014 09:13:21 EST Clean eating vs. Orthorexia http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5679423 In 2003 I had a spell of orthorexia, where I was eating a very restrictive diet that steered around the "bad" foods from several diets. Since then, the phrase "clean eating" has given me the willies. But due to a research paper I wrote this term, I've come to the conclusion that there are substances in food that lead to insulin resistance, cancer and acelerated aging due to conditions favoring oxygen radicals. <BR> <BR> It's a little controversial, since it turns out they are all food ad... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:28:26 EST The girls are recovering http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5679327 (This post is about my chest, just in case you don't really want to know more about that.) <BR> <BR> Something good about where I'm maintaining is that my chest is starting to resemble my chest again. I was still nursing a toddler when I reached my goal weight, and things were in flux. About 7 months into maintenance I weaned my toddler and soon thereafter was at my low weight of about 153. Being an American woman, I tend to assume less is more when it comes to weight. But some things we... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 09:50:58 EST Reunited http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5675382 I lost my fitbit on March 17. Today we were rearranging the cars parked in the driveway, and apparently it's been under the spot where my mom's truck was parked on and off this whole time! And amazingly, it didn't get run over. There was a little condensation in the screen area, which I was going to address by removing the battery cover, but it has gone so hopefully that's okay. <BR> <BR> I had gotten pretty good at reminding myself to act like I had a fitbit. "If you had a fitbit, you... Fri, 18 Apr 2014 22:48:50 EST 16 months of maintenance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5671035 Since I’ve hit a year of weight loss maintenance some things have changed, and I can see ways in which some of those things could lead to relapse. It’s like when you have a baby, at first you count their age in weeks, and between 3 and 6 months you start thinking in months, and after a year you have to tally it up when you want to know how long it’s been. <BR> <BR> I have been maintaining in a fairly tight range with calorie blocking, sodium management and keeping after freggies and fitness... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 09:37:06 EST Define "Reasonable" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5668862 (These couple paragraphs are from the Losers Keepers checkin, but I'll talk about other stuff in a minute) <BR> <BR> I placed first in my session at the science symposium, which was just a group of 4, but it was judged by Chemistry PhDs so I was apprehensive going in and glad to do well. I learned a lot on that project. It was about caffeine and theobromine (a similar looking chemical in chocolate) but in the course of study I learned they really are different and while they contribute to... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 09:38:27 EST Why don't I? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5648473 I'm maintaining okay, but right at the top of my desired range. I would like to take several more pounds off. And the question, if this is what I think I want, why don't I? <BR> Observations: <BR> I'm not doing much deliberate cardio. Because? I don't feel like I have extra time. <BR> I'm not calorie cycling. Because? When I do, I seem to sleep poorly. <BR> I'm not sparking on a daily basis. Because? I'm not trusting the importance of social support. <BR> <BR> Of course when I sit ... Sat, 15 Mar 2014 14:15:13 EST 3 things I've noticed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5640428 The first thing I noticed a few weeks ago is that when I'm working out, especially doing strength training, I feel different from how I used to. This is in contrast to when I'm sitting on the couch, I don't feel different from when I was obese. <BR> <BR> The second thing is I'm just finally getting the hang of savoring my food. It may sound weird, and it's amazing that I've been tracking my intake for over 2 years and just getting around to this. It's as simple as thoroughly chewing one... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 12:37:13 EST School update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5633635 A friend of mine was stressing about whether he made it into his graduate program, which has a 40% acceptance rate, and I realized that the PA program is like 5% acceptance rate (your chances appear to double if you reapply in a subsequent year) and the BSN program I'm eligible for is a 25% acceptance rate. So I looked up some other options. I mean, there's always the long slope of a 2 year RN program at the community college, 16 months for the RN to BSN, and then maybe grad school after. ... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 17:55:32 EST Let's do this thing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5625388 At the end of summer I posted a low weight of 152.5, but I've been around 160 for a couple of months now, which is closer than I'd like to be to the overweight line. So I've been talking about getting back in weight loss mode for several weeks. <BR> <BR> There's a biggest loser contest on at the college starting next week. I first looked at it because my teacher is offering extra credit, but I don't really need more extra credit (I think there's a limit that I'm already set for). But it g... Sun, 16 Feb 2014 09:30:44 EST BMI, height, sexism http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5616899 Everyone is up in arms about Rachel losing too much weight for the Biggest Loser. Maybe she did. Maybe the rules need to be tuned so that people aren't incentivized to go below a normal BMI. Imagine if we had a "without going under" provision like on Price is right. That would keep the finale exciting! In season 1 they had transformation number that included fat loss. I would love to see that come back. <BR> <BR> But on to sexism. Did we freak out like this when Danny Cahill showed up... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 12:30:51 EST Long time, no blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5612895 12 days is a long time for me, anyway. Can I just say, 4 classes is more than 3? The first couple of weeks I thought I was still finding my feet with changes to my schedule, and now we're far enough in I'm having more written assignments and tests. I need to figure out how to not have everything roll up on Thursday and Friday. <BR> <BR> I have a 5 week calendar with the due dates written on it, and then I have my planner where I can plot out when things should happen in the course of th... Sun, 2 Feb 2014 10:05:45 EST The first rule of NWCR http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5599768 "The first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club." At least, I think that's how it goes. I just finished taking my first NWCR survey and there really weren't a lot of surprises, since I've read many of their papers 3 or 4 times. They don't say not to talk about it, but I guess it's just common sense to not tell everyone what is on a survey that they might someday take. <BR> <BR> It does make me reflect on that secrets of the 5% article Sparkpeople runs now and then, whic... Mon, 20 Jan 2014 08:37:01 EST Maintenance is a complex of habits http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5597813 On another forum a friend of mine started a 100 day streak thing, because she had heard that 21 days was not really long enough to set a habit. As a streak, you could do 5x per week or what have you. I chimed in that in weight maintenance, you don't have any assurance of continued success until you're on a 760 day streak (24 months or 2 years.) <BR> <BR> But as I thought about it, I realized maintenance isn't just one habit. It's a complex of habits. Something the NWCR seeks to find ou... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 10:03:49 EST 5 Whys http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5597191 Our BLC team is doing a SMART Goal challenge this week, and a step I hadn't seen before (or don'te remember) is 5 Whys, to get at what is causing the problem to persist. We'll see how this goes. I've decided to set my goal for clearing each room of items that will not be needed in the next 3 months, 3 rooms a week for the next 4 weeks. It will be a challenge, but doable. <BR> <BR> It's true I have less time due to being in school, but I also have a much clearer sense of what is likely to ... Fri, 17 Jan 2014 16:03:44 EST Powerful Prism Panthers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5594834 I got invited to Biggest Loser Challenge signups during the window, and decided to do it because it seems like a great way to promote maintenance lifestyle, and I was already planning to go into weight management mode after a 3 month "break". My break was still tracking food and doing strength, but not a lot of cardio. Throw in a few holiday meals, and I was teetering at the top of my maintenance range. <BR> <BR> My prior interaction with BLC was seeing someone mention it in their blog, fi... Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:20:23 EST Hunger for Approval http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5587932 I have an an older teen and sometimes it's like watching a birth of a new person, hard and scary but also exciting and ultimately inevitable. We've had some conflict in the family and this morning we were talking about how I was able to sort out my relationship with her father when I worked the 12 steps for codependency. <BR> <BR> For me, it meant letting go of most of my prior sources of validation and approval and learning to rely on my higher power (I had a lot of baggage about God too... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 10:32:24 EST Turn and face the strange http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5583201 I was looking at the word "change" earlier today and thinking about it with reference to maintenance. I use the term "healthy lifestyle" in my blog in the last year because I think I'm not trying to change my lifestyle, I'm trying to maintain my health. <BR> <BR> But I guess it's also true that if you don't make some changes, your body can adapt. Like when I stopped walking on the treadmill, for the first month my weight stayed the same but then the second month it started to creep up. ... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 16:14:24 EST Fitbit found! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5579395 My husband found it in the weight room. I do my circuits in the living room, generally. It's weird, I know. I was going to be going back to the weight room for my new plan. I think what must have happened is that it fell off when I was reaching to get wrapping paper out of "storage" (that's part of the problem with the weight room). <BR> <BR> So I guess it's lucky we found it before the Fitbit Force arrived, and I can return it unopened. Anyway, it was a Large which would have barely ... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 12:26:02 EST Goal for Spring http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5578327 I deliberately took it easy through the fall and winter, to give my body and mind a break. That means I stayed close to 2,000 calories a day and did strength circuits 3-4 times a week. I guess I hadn't really been deliberately walking since the end of September, and throughout October my weight was stable around 155, but in November it went up to 157 and since Thanksgiving I've been jousting with 160. <BR> <BR> While getting back into a calorie deficit will take one kind of effort, it wi... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 17:58:46 EST Faces of the Journey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5575152 This is some thoughts sparked by TINAJANE76's blog, "Are there ties that bind us on this 'Journey of One". I have been on several different journeys in the course of a larger journey, and I see people on yet other journeys. But maybe this is me indulging my semanticist side. <BR> <BR> Weight matters, right? And yet there was that day I realized the scale is an instrument, not the destination. I guess another way to see it is reaching the horizon and seeing that it was a mountain peak, ... Sun, 29 Dec 2013 23:43:07 EST Old pictures http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5573759 I dug up some pictures from when I got married. Looking back, I wonder if everyone advised us to wait a year to have a baby because I kind of always looked pregnant. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1722357139.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I had pretty severe depression whenever I was pregnant, except for my last one, as I mentioned yesterday it was only the last 7 years I was figuring how to live in this body. We watched The World's End, which has a lot of language. Not as much as ... Sat, 28 Dec 2013 12:18:09 EST 23rd Anniversary Eve http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5573468 Ooh, I should post a picture from back when I got married. Maybe I'll try and get one into the computer. I guess there's one in my spark album. This was from the year before, probably. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1092145969.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I think my life is pretty good. I've been through some crazy stuff getting here, though. Pretending to field questions from Tricia of Christmas past: <BR> <BR> TCP: So you've been married 23 years, and you only have 4 ... Sat, 28 Dec 2013 00:44:54 EST "I need support" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5572022 I don't use this huddle a lot, in the past I've always read it as a plea for help. And even at times when I've been kind of down, I haven't really used it. Today I read it a different way. When do I ever not need support? I need support every day. I haven't done this on my own. I have been inspired and delighted in sharing this journey with others. Needing support is not necessarily a red flag, it is a daily fact of life. <BR> <BR> It's also something they have tried to pin down as ... Thu, 26 Dec 2013 07:15:53 EST Taking it a day at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5571210 I think I lost my fitbit on Saturday. I'll call Best Buy, where I think I lost it, on Thursday, but I checked on Monday and they hadn't seen it. So, bummer. We're kind of tight on funds so I don't foresee replacing it with a spark. I'd had it 13 months, so that's not a terrible run. <BR> <BR> I'm doing pretty well with my calorie range, keeping aware. I will relax it a bit for tomorrow and then my anniversary is this weekend. I'm keeping up with my strength circuits but haven't been ... Tue, 24 Dec 2013 16:16:59 EST Happy Maintainversary! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5562661 A year ago today I reached goal! I have gained a few pounds since returning to school, but I'm still down six from back then and my B M I is 24.5. The research shows that I still have the same risk of regain (80-95%) until 2 years (when it becomes 50%), but it's still a big landmark. <BR> <BR> I arrived at goal very wary of regain, and I dove into the literature with the belief that knowledge is power. After several weeks of calorie cycling, I had a crisis about whether I was eating dis... Thu, 12 Dec 2013 06:48:27 EST The Rhythm of Life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5561424 Heh. We sang this song with a concert choir in college, I never looked up where it was from before now. Let's just say they changed some of the lyrics. Well, what brought it to mind is how the first few years after my son died, the anniversary of his death kept hitting me like a sumo wrestler. And I didn't realize it was just the anniversary. <BR> <BR> I've seen this in other areas of my life, like "that time" for women, or tax time or in a different way the inducements to overeat that c... Tue, 10 Dec 2013 15:47:41 EST That's why it's called the present http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5559026 This is my intro for joining the Time Management and Organization Team. <BR> <BR> Hi, I'm Tricia and I'm a recovering... <BR> I don't know that there's a word for what I struggle with. Clutterbug is too cutesey. If we go with hoarding disorder, I'm mostly a level II on a Chronic Disorganization matrix I saw once. Part of it is being codependent and married to a fellow packrat. I think the only thing that keeps us from going teakettle over crown is that we don't have a compulsive shopper in... Sat, 7 Dec 2013 11:27:15 EST Keeping it together mostly http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5558583 My weight is back into the orange zone, not really where I like it but not crazy. It's dropped a teeny tiny little bit each day that I've weighed since Thanksgiving. <BR> <BR> So Saturday would have been my first child's 21's birthday. This year I haven't gotten too emotional about it because other people have that department covered. And I'm going through exams, which is some nice occupational therapy. But who knows what will happen tomorrow, which is his deathday. <BR> <BR> (This ... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 18:40:31 EST This is why we can't have anything nice. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5552770 I decided to make a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving III (so there'd be a pie that I'd know what was in it) but I was trying to half the recipe and half the sugar and add monkfruit packets, but I wound up with normal sugar plus 1/2 cup worth of monkfruit! So, next time show your work. I microwaved the extra filling and tasted it, and at least it's not ruined. It is really sweet, almost like egg nog. <BR> <BR> So, another Thanksgiving with the in laws today. I weighed myself this morning an... Fri, 29 Nov 2013 12:23:04 EST Calm before the storm http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5549024 I go through this every year before the anniversary of my son's death, and every year I know I'm not going to know how it feels until it actually happens. It's part of how you live with it, keeping it safely compartmentalized for most of the time. And I guess it's not always so bad. The important thing is I can't count on it not being so bad. If I put off a bill and think I'm going to pay it that week... not a good plan. I have an exam that week, but if it doesn't work out, that class le... Sun, 24 Nov 2013 11:01:26 EST