VTRICIA's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=VTRICIA VTRICIA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Semester break http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6149988 I'm kind of on Semester break until June 1. I'm done with finals, anyway, and I don't have any assigned stuff. I will have clinical shifts the first half of May, five 12 hour shifts (and graveyards at that). They are planned to be 3 one week and 2 the next, so if I'm to stay in graveyard mode (which is supposed to be healthier), that will take some effort. But as with everything, I'll just have to roll with it. <BR> <BR> Over the last six months I've noticed that when I don't eat any s... Mon, 25 Apr 2016 12:35:39 EST If maintenance is harder... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6140746 If maintenance is harder, why have I been afraid to go back to weight loss mode? <BR> Today is my 40th month of maintaining. My weight is higher than I'd like, over 5 pounds so. Why don't I set about losing those 5 pounds? It's that or buy bigger jeans-- which is another choice. <BR> <BR> When I was new in maintenance I promised myself that if I got out of range I'd jump into a weight management strategy. More cardio, less junkfood (I'm generally faithful on strength training). <BR> <B... Tue, 12 Apr 2016 13:22:07 EST Stepping it up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6107559 I've been really consistent working out either cardio or strength since November. And my weight is, at least, not increasing. But I want to lose a few pounds so I'm going to try cardio every day and strength training a couple of times a week. I've been working on the quality of my food too, more freggies and whole grain as the rule. <BR> <BR> February was a very stressful month between clinical intensives and political primaries. Now I'm back to didactic (book learning) and its up to m... Mon, 29 Feb 2016 11:45:49 EST Attitude vs. Motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6101483 This is a question I have pondered now and again, which I learned a lot about last week. Someone had posted an article about altitude decreasing mood but increasing focus. I was puzzled by this because both seratonin (low in depression) and dopamine (low in ADHD) rely on cell membrane fluidity (which is diminished by insulin resistance and inflammation). <BR> <BR> So why would reduced oxygen have an opposite effect on them? Oxygen is used by the body to turn food into ATP. If you have ... Sun, 21 Feb 2016 18:32:16 EST 2016 is 1/12 over http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6084980 I'm contemplating my priorities and goals as this first month of 2016 winds down. February is shaping up to be a little hectic so I'm trying to be realistic. <BR> <BR> I got a follow up survey from the NWCR (it was a second request, actually, I didn't do it the first time) and that lead to me going back to see what I weighed a year ago. I gained 4 pounds, which I hadn't realized. I gained it in October and feel a bit like I've been beating back the barbarians ever since. I guess if I w... Mon, 1 Feb 2016 14:53:15 EST Grand Theory of Maintenance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6075830 The Dreyfus theory is an educational psychology model about how we come to really master something. It was adapted to nursing but Patricia Benner, and I've talked about it now and then relative to maintenance. I learned some interesting new things about it this week. <BR> <BR> Benner's theory involves 5 levels: Novice, advanced beginner, competent, proficient, and expert. At each level we exchange black and white, rule based thinking for an intuitive grasp of things. So the novice look... Thu, 21 Jan 2016 22:10:50 EST Progress check http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6065984 I've been doing really well with fitness (6 days a week) since before Thanksgiving, including strength training. That's helped me to not gain weight, but I would like to lose a few pounds. I haven't been very good with freggies. Well, there was so much stuff from the holidays, which is still around because I don't overindulge. (you know that meme on facebook, Diet day 1: get all the bad food out of the house, it was delicious! That's what I haven't done.) <BR> <BR> But I guess I just ne... Sun, 10 Jan 2016 17:24:21 EST Too early for flapjacks? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6053643 And by flapjacks, I mean New Year's resolutions. <BR> 1. I want to lose 5 lbs. I'm going to try 4x400 + freggies (fresh or steamed). I guess I can expect to lose about a pound a week, depending on my second goal. <BR> 2. I've had a good streak of working out going, 4 cardio and 2 full body strength per week so I want to keep that up. <BR> 3. Daily planner check in, including advantages list. <BR> 4. Daily inspirational reading. <BR> And then there's the general stuff, keep up with h... Sun, 27 Dec 2015 21:34:22 EST Dear future self http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6050170 This was a point from that emotions of procrastination article which a lot of people joked about bookmarking for later. <BR> <BR> I guess it's asking if what you're doing today will remain something you will always be glad you did. Some things you just have to do. Like paying bills on time. I guess I don't really want the future where I don't do that. But it doesn't make a big emotional connection for me. Well, not a positive one anyway. <BR> <BR> Strength training is one I can see... Sun, 20 Dec 2015 10:30:40 EST December plan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6040810 It's a new month. My goals until December 21 involve holding the line on my weight. Since the last two years I have gained 4 pounds over the holidays, this means being a lot more vigilant about party eating, being faithful about cardio, and doing strength circuits twice a week. <BR> These are total body circuits, 3 rounds of: <BR> 10 pushups (modified with arms on a chest) <BR> 10 standups <BR> 10 calf raises <BR> 10 dead lifts <BR> Curls (currently 4x20 lbs on each hand) <BR> dumbell rows ... Tue, 1 Dec 2015 19:26:40 EST Being evil is draining http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6036173 I've been AWOL for November, not because I was doing National Novel Writing Month, I gave up on that when our internet was getting fixed. But then the church I belong to (officially the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, aka Mormon) made a policy clarification that gay marriage is apostacy (heresy). <BR> <BR> I have a gender non conforming child, and two years ago I almost lost them to suicide. So it's really hard for me to feel good about policies that alienate people. Intell... Sun, 22 Nov 2015 13:44:01 EST My semester break plan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6019995 This is a cross post from my organization blog: <BR> If all goes as planned, I should be starting actual nursing school January 4. This semester was the pre-semester, and there will be an interview I have with the admissions people sometime in the next 3 weeks. <BR> <BR> So I pretty much have 10 weeks of break. Things I would like to do: <BR> – brush up on languages from college <BR> – start learning guitar <BR> – study brain and behavior <BR> – National Novel Writing Month? <BR> <BR> Th... Fri, 23 Oct 2015 18:22:53 EST "fine" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6016959 I think I'm getting used to my current roller coaster. My husband shifted to self employment, and I had a lot of stress over the health care issues, in addition to the stuff we do for self employment (he's a lawyer, and I am oftentimes his paralegal). <BR> <BR> School is winding down. There was some pretty stressful stuff for that, a practical exam and then a profile deadline (immunizations, CPR card, drug test etc.) I had two classes on an intensive schedule but now I'm down to one, and... Sun, 18 Oct 2015 10:59:01 EST Dog's Food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6013119 This is something I got from Onekidsmom's blog about wall to wall treats, and a tip to see it as dog's food. The thing is, would you even feed a dog a lot of junkfood? I don't have a dog, but my understanding is you risk winding up at the pet ER with them. Chocolate is actually poisonous for dogs because they lack enzymes to break it down. But other empty calorie treats are pretty bad for them. You couldn't feed a lot of that stuff to a horse either. Animals need real food. <BR> <BR>... Sun, 11 Oct 2015 11:10:27 EST 4 Characteristics of 40 Something Maintainers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6001151 I saw a link to this group in the big maintenance team's "Big Page of Links" and went to check it out, and I decided to sign up. There are some distinct issues with being a maintainer in your 40s. <BR> <BR> 1. Your metabolism may be beginning to slow down. I say "may" because there is no reason it has to if you do your strength training. Research out of the NWCR found that "slowing metabolism" from weight loss is explicable through lean mass loss. <BR> <BR> 2. You are likely done wit... Mon, 21 Sep 2015 01:15:20 EST The Spectrum of Happiness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5998381 Yesterday I was thinking about body dysmorphia, how just because we lose weight doesn't always mean we feel okay about our bodies. I'm still surprised when I see my reflection or even my shadow, that I look normal. I've been working on this a lot lately, but it's not something I thought I'd still be working on at 32 months of maintenance. I mean, in a way it's nice to be pleasantly surprised on a daily basis. But it's also weird. And on some level, it means I'm still not happy with my bo... Wed, 16 Sep 2015 07:54:34 EST Six Apologies and explanations for the Big Maintenance Team http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5992188 I am looking for a balance here between members who would like team business to stay behind closed doors and some who have expressed that I still have amends to make. Most of this is already contained in two posts I made on the team, but not everyone has been able to read both of them, and even if they do, chances are slight they will be read in the order I made them. I will also talk about what we're working on to avoid this in the future. <BR> <BR> 1. I am sorry I was not a more active ... Sun, 6 Sep 2015 16:53:15 EST Define Transition to Maintenance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5991326 What is Transition to Maintenance. In physical terms it seems to involve approaching either goal weight or sometimes people reach a point of maintaining that wasn't their original goal. That gets at how and why people set the goals they do. <BR> <BR> In terms of mental, psychologists frequently break it down into 3 things: Thoughts, feelings, and behavior. One thing we know about behavior in maintenance is that it has to be similar to behavior in weight loss. What the NWCR tells us a... Sat, 5 Sep 2015 06:47:01 EST Thankful maintenance is hard http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5988334 My husband used to bike a lot and said he loved going up hills. He rode his bike up 1,500 feet once, then called his dad to come pick him up. I used to think he was crazy. But earlier today I was thinking about how the hard journey of maintaining my 25% weight loss for 32 months has changed me. I used to argue that it wasn't harder, just different from weight loss. Because I am scared of hard things. <BR> <BR> But because I was scared, I started studying the scientific literature to f... Mon, 31 Aug 2015 20:27:13 EST Where did August go? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985083 Our college kid has been visiting the last two and a half weeks, so the month has slipped away. We've had a pretty good time, though. My younger kids have already been back in school for a week, which I think is crazy. My baby starts preschool on the 1st, which is coming right up. But I guess Labor Day isn't until the 6th, so we have a week and a half of summer, if you don't count school. <BR> <BR> I've been working on this healthy eating initiative. Thinking of quality first and quanti... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 10:41:04 EST I can carry you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5977135 My walking budy has been on vacation, so I've been watching Lord of the rings while I workout. And yesterday Samwise Gamgee tells Frodo "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" That really speaks to the essence of Recovery for me. The most direct remedies may not be open to us but there are things we can do. I think it's nursing, too. We can't make someone well, but we can support them while they get well. <BR> <BR> How might this look for, say, sugar addiction? Maybe we can'... Thu, 13 Aug 2015 09:28:31 EST The success amoeba http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970871 A few weeks ago an internet friend said she was starting the Beck Diet Solution, and she wondered about applying it to other goals, so I've been working on that the last couple weeks with respect to home organization. She's has decided not to continue with it, because she finds it kind of patronizing (She was recently awarded a Ph.D.) She's just going to follow No S, which is fine. I certainly didn't do all these 42 things when I lost weight. <BR> <BR> It's hard because one of the thinkin... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 15:14:52 EST Back on Track http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5963364 I've been tracking food and exercise for several weeks now, and I can't believe I ever stopped. But apparently I did, in the fall of 2013. My weight seemed fine and I was in school full time, so I guess that's how it happens. And my weight was still fine for a year. <BR> <BR> The weird and scary thing is that it took me six months, after I decided my jeans were uncomfortable, to go back to tracking. It's weird because I kind of enjoy tracking now that I'm doing it again. It's scary th... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 19:05:00 EST July goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5953806 i've been walking with a neighbor but shes out of town for a week. My son needs to walk for a pioneer re enactment hes doing in a couple months. I'm hoping another neighbor can go today but she's had foot trouble. <BR> <BR> We've had some trouble eating dinner together as a family. That is something I'd like to do better at. It's so hot, though, I don't want to bake or roast things. <BR> <BR> I'm feeling some weight loss fatigue. I guess its only been two weeks I've been working at... Wed, 1 Jul 2015 09:31:29 EST The wheel never stops turning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5950688 "But that only matters to the people on the rim" or words to that effect, is something Badger tells Mal, that one time. <BR> <BR> I still working on weight management. My husband says I'm grumpier, and I feel it. And that's why I decided to do it now, while it's summer and I have a partial class load, and stuff. It's easy to focus on the hour that I am pretty hungry before each meal, but there's an hour after each meal when I'm not hungry, and I am appreciative of that. And there's gen... Thu, 25 Jun 2015 08:32:49 EST Weight management http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5946783 So last week I decided I want to lose 5 pounds. It's funny because I can remember seeing schemes for losing 5 pounds and thinking "5 pounds won't make that much of a difference." Often these relied on water loss, like drinking some weird solution over the weekend or sleeping wrapped in plastic, things you couldn't repeat over and over to reach a healthy weight. <BR> <BR> And while I anticipated that I would be hungrier, there were parts of weight loss I forgot about completely. One is h... Wed, 17 Jun 2015 17:38:59 EST Birthday weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5944935 We are celebrating my birthday this weekend. I got a new toaster oven, a shoe cabinet from IKEA, and special cookies from the kids, and my husband took me to see Jurassic World, which was a lot of fun. <BR> <BR> I did eat a lot for my birthday dinner, and have been trimming calories since then, since I'm not really hungry (though appetite is very strong if I'm in the kitchen and I see or smell food.) <BR> <BR> My 4 year old who has Autism is starting to be a lot more interactive, and d... Sun, 14 Jun 2015 12:08:28 EST 30 months of maintenance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5943187 I just pasted all my maintenance challenges figures since November, and it's kind of sobering that I've still got the 4 pounds from Christmas hanging around. Last month was pretty stressful getting ready for carpet. We did a lot of decluttering, and some of my May weigh ins were a couple of pounds over my original goal. But I'm back to 165 now. <BR> <BR> I connected with a walking buddy. She had been working but recently decided to be a mom full time, and should be available to walk in... Wed, 10 Jun 2015 23:33:56 EST Goodbye May, Hello June http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5937201 In May I had the 5K to look forward to and a visitor to prepare the house for. I feel so good now, I can hardly remember being so stressed last week. The stresses of applying to nursing school are also a faint echo. Though I think it's good to remember how much I wanted these things as i move forward. <BR> <BR> A goal I'm adding in June is practicing a musical instrument. I suppose I should choose between piano and guitar. I got an electric guitar for Christmas last year. <BR> <BR> S... Sun, 31 May 2015 10:06:58 EST My bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5933693 It's my intent to blog weekly, but four have got past me. The biggest news is I am starting a Nursing bachelors program June 1, and the program is looking pretty cool. I have a mentor who has an MSN, and she worked Psych which is where I see myself in a few years. <BR> <BR> We are in the middle of having carpet installed. We have decided to get a new couch and trade the old futon in the tot's room rather than buy a new bed. He seems to prefer the floor anyway. <BR> <BR> I'm not sure... Sun, 24 May 2015 22:41:40 EST 3 weeks to 5k http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5917960 The bummer is I've known about this for 10 days, and haven't really done much to move toward it. The 5k your way plans are for 5 weeks, but I can get out tomorrow and see where I am in the plan. I haven't been super great with cardio the last couple of weeks. I think if I just run a little further each day than I did the day before, I can get there. And walk for long enough between each interval to recover. Maybe I can do it while my kid plays at the park. <BR> <BR> In that same 3 wee... Sun, 26 Apr 2015 13:07:11 EST Insulin Resistance in Brain Cells http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5908561 It's first important to understand what Insulin Resistance is. I've come up with a new phrase to illustrate this: cell membrane blockade. The conventional wisdom is that insulin resistance is a problem with insulin receptors, but I believe it is the result of oxidative stress. <BR> <BR> Your mitochondria assemble ATP, but if there is already a surplus of ATP, they can't turn carbohydrate into CO2 and H2O (carbo-hydrate, get it?). Instead, they produce oxygen radicals which the body makes... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 22:18:56 EST April Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901656 It's not April yet, I know, but it's Sunday morning. Something new I'm going to try is reducing my intake of sweets. So we'll see how that goes. I know, we start the month off with Easter, and I'm not going cold turkey. Just trying to be more aware. Stop checking the bakery clearance rack every time I go to the store. <BR> <BR> And then I need to do a lot more on my house. I had that as a goal this past month, but my house isn't in that much better of shape, sadly. I could point to ... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 11:41:28 EST Future me: don't give up now http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5898217 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l119576414.jpg"> <BR> I cannot figure out how I'm supposed to get into that middle. Or even a reasonable 3 way tie. As soon as I take down one obstacle, another one pops up. I finally got all the admission requirements for WGU, and now it looks like we will have to move. Which, there's a program in Maryland that lets you get a masters (CNL) without having a BSN first, but it means taking General Chemistry and that means testing out of Col... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 14:04:23 EST We all scream http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5893653 I have a strange history with ice cream. It was my moms comfort food of choice in the bad old days so I was actually not a fan when I was heavy. I didn't avoid it but it had this tragic connotation. <BR> <BR> But when I lost weight and started reading label and being more mindful of flavors, I realized some ice cream can be a good deal, at least to me. And this wee I realized it really is enjoyable, and not an escape. <BR> <BR> It's an interesting question whether positive emotions are... Sun, 15 Mar 2015 23:36:49 EST Possible futures http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5884297 Some strange obstacles have fallen across my path these last few months. I've been trying to apply to two different nursing schools, and despite my careful contingency planning it doesn't look like either one will work out this year. I can apply to Physician Assistant school again. Though I am still bruised from last fall's rejection. I'm just in such a state of disbelief at some of the odd choices and unexpected twists with the nursing school applications. The plan is to take 3 courses ... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 14:38:23 EST Maintenance and Happy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5880409 Last night I watched "Happy", a film about positive psychology that's on Netflix right now. It didn't really emphasize the domains of positive psychology, but they're there if you know where to look for them. <BR> 1. Positive feelings, which they talked about the value of exercise, variety, and sociability <BR> 2. Engagement, or flow <BR> 3. Relationships <BR> 4. Meaning, or spirituality and service <BR> 5. Accomplishment, which they addressed as intrinsic vs. extrinsic goals <BR> <BR>... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 10:11:10 EST What if happiness is a xuanze? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5876839 I've long been irritated by the addage that "happiness is a choice." But I also used to be annoyed by the saying "feelings are not good or bad, they just are". Psychologists who study subjective well being have long been bedeviled by the effect conditions of measurement have on results. (I could have said affect there :P). <BR> <BR> In one experiment they interviewed people in two environments, one pleasant and the other not (think a hot, cluttered laboratory with an ominous odor.) The ... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 14:59:14 EST Lottery and phantom fat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5874283 I'm working on a public speaking project (so this may read like a speech not a blog). My thesis is that weight loss doesn't make you happy, rather, mental wellness is the keystone to healthy lifestyle. <BR> <BR> The statistics on regain bring to my mind the widely reported cases of people who win the lottery, but within a short time they wind up broke, imprisoned, or even dead. We look at these cases and think "If I had that money, I'd pay my debts and save the extra or maybe quit my job... Thu, 12 Feb 2015 06:28:37 EST Trying to fill the void http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5866433 The first thing we probably think of, when we have pervasive feelings of emptiness, is filling them with food, and that was my life before. Maintaining a healthy weight calls for seeing food as more than that. But there are other things we do this with. Hoarding is one for me. As much as it annoys me to have clutter, it is about me trying to feel safe on some level. <BR> <BR> One area I've recently identified is money. It's a lot like food in that you should pay some attention to it, ... Sat, 31 Jan 2015 10:01:26 EST Back to school and babysteps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5861079 I missed an entry last week with school starting. I was in 4 classes for a while, but I did get a definitive answer on whether I needed one class this morning, so I'm dropping it and that should make life a bit more manageable. <BR> <BR> I also started a program to be trained as a parent doing ABA (applied behavioral analysis.) I didn't really understand what ABA was for the last couple of years, just that people kept saying it's the best treatment for autism. So I'm learning about it, ... Fri, 23 Jan 2015 16:15:47 EST This year vs. last http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5845676 Last year it looks like I also gained about 4 pounds from Halloween to New Years, but I was in the bottom of my maintenance range rather than around the top, so it wasn’t as stressful. As drunk Phil Connor would say, “You make choices, and you live with them.” Something I’ve tried to do is not wallow in regret. <BR> <BR> I was still looking for my maintenance range last year but I feel like I found it last spring. I want to stay in a size 12 jeans (though I have a range of jeans that sa... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 13:47:52 EST Not even fools http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5839406 Today's bizarre phrase is courtesy Stubby Pringle, a cowboy poem about the true meaning of Christmas that a guy at church reads the sunday before each Christmas for Sunday School. It grabbed my attention because the next landmark for maintaining is 5 years <BR> <BR> "Homesteaders. Not even fools, homesteaders. Worse than that. Out of their minds altogether... Betting the government they can stave off starving for five years in exchange for one hundred sixty acres of land... Always almost ou... Sat, 27 Dec 2014 15:48:50 EST If everything were right, we'd be in jail http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5837887 This is something Wash says on Firefly. His wife Zoe says the captain's all tense and something isn't right, and he replies "Honey, we're crooks, if everything were right, we'd be in jail." <BR> <BR> I was thinking about my OCD and body dysmorphia this morning, and how my sense of my body isn't really changed from when I weighed 50 pounds more. And that's why I count on numbers like weight, BMI, and calories. Maybe it makes me unhealthy. The thing is, I know I'm unhealthy, I know I hav... Wed, 24 Dec 2014 09:36:08 EST Worse or better? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5835986 One strange thing I had noticed since I have lost weight is that I get headaches about once a month, which I don't remember happening as often before. For a few years this puzzled me. I wondered what could be making more more sensitive. Maybe it was my lower pulse and blood pressure. Maybe it was that I don't eat very much salt anymore. The hormones of monthly cycles affect the balance of salt in the body, and that's why there is water weight. <BR> <BR> But recently it occurred to me th... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 17:50:40 EST 2 years of maintenance: The Why http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831916 This is a symbolic day, moving from the 80%-96% likelihood of regain to 50%. One thing I've wondered throughout this is whether the change is incremental or simply reflects the statistics of attrition. What is the next level? Let me check. At 5 years it becomes 27%. <BR> <BR> And yet, as my last post indicated, I had to go back into weight management. After Veterans day (we ate out 3 times that day), a week off fitness due to a fall, and Thanksgiving, I was over my initial goal weight... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 11:56:44 EST Decreasing intake for first time in 2 years http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5828677 I guess it hasn't been fully 2 years, but other than the first couple months of calorie cycling, I've eaten 2,000 calories per day most of the time. <BR> <BR> I mentioned my weight being up and my son said "You mean you're out of maintenance?!?! No, I'm reducing my calories so I stay in maintenance. I'm also doing cardio 6 days a week, but I know that can cause increased water weight. <BR> <BR> The funny part is I meant to reduce my calories by 200 per day, but because I am not as good a... Sat, 6 Dec 2014 16:00:24 EST Where does that get fun? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5825189 This is a quote from a mercenary named Jayne Cobb who is wondering what the difference is between him and a psychopathic killer. He goes on to contemplate his slippery slope of conditions where he might kill a man, and it struck me as not too different from the slippery slope of special occasions that lead to overeating. <BR> <BR> Then I joked with my husband that I might make a "maintenance according to Firefly" thing. I know I've used a lot of them over the years here. <BR> "If you can... Sun, 30 Nov 2014 13:12:31 EST Once a year or every year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5823866 I was thinking about this the other day, that Thanksgiving is only once a year. But it also happens every year. And there are special occasions like Thanksgiving around every corner. <BR> <BR> Dietary consistency is one of the most powerful predictors of who is successful at maintenance. It means eating the same on weekends, holidays, and vacations as the rest of the week. For me, that means having the same overall calorie goal, not necessarily that I have to eat peanut butter sandwiches... Thu, 27 Nov 2014 12:36:59 EST The hardest part about maintenance for me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5817654 I'm not a fan of saying maintenance is hard. But the one thing about it that really terrified me was not having anyone tell me exactly what to do. In the last couple of weeks in Abnormal Psychology I have found out why. <BR> <BR> Self-diagnosis is not the done thing, but I've suspected for a long time that I had Borderline Personality Disorder, though more when I was younger. I'd never even heard of BPD until I was in my mid 30's. The key features are patterns of self-destructiveness, ... Sun, 16 Nov 2014 09:33:30 EST