VICKYMARIEC's SparkPeople Blog VICKYMARIEC's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Where's the Motivation? My friend has been asking me that for the last few weeks. "Vicky, where is your motivation?" Honestly, I just don't know. Sometime last year, I think as far back as April, I just stopped caring. Don't get me wrong, i still work out at least 5x a week and my mileage is insane by most standards. But my eating habits/nutrition have gone out the door. I use to be so disciplined... <BR> <BR> My lowest weight was sometime last February at 247lbs... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeopl... Wed, 18 Feb 2015 14:01:49 EST End of the Road & Back Again This year has not been my best year and it probably all started back in let me start there... <BR> <BR> February i felt on top of the world! I was consistently running (mind you I only started running towards the end of November 2013), the scale was showing a great low number (246lbs) and my body was slimming down. I felt great and looked great! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Sometime towards the end of February I tweak... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 10:02:57 EST My Own Inspirational Story <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Let me start by saying I’ve changed the quality of my life by making conscious decisions. Nothing about this process has been easy, but the rewards I’ve given to myself far out-weigh a life of sitting on the couch being unable to do anything. Along my journey I have been honest and open about my struggles with feeling lonely, depression, food binges and just a solid lack of a desire to exercise. So when I was asked... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 15:58:31 EST 68 Day Challenge: Day 7 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 7 I debated internally on whether or not i should walk after work of just go home. Well i decided to change at the office and see how I felt as i was driving. The moment i left the building i knew i was going to go walking. We had a slight breeze that felt amazing...we've had neat 90 degree weather lately that the breeze made it feel almost if i were on vacation somewhere. I stopped at 3.1 miles b... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 14:26:14 EST 68 Day Challenge: Day 4-6 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Days 4-7 proved something to me that i already kinda knew. I over eat on the weekends. I still got in my fruit and vegetables, but over al i ate more than i should. Was it terrible food? No...but even too much of the good and healthy stuff racks up the calories. <BR> <BR> April 25th (Friday) was Day 4: <BR> I walked 3.34 miles <BR> <BR> It was closer to 90 degrees so here I am as always taking in the air conditio... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 09:53:34 EST 68 Day Challenge: Day 3 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 3 of my challenge wasn't so bad. I knew i needed to make sure i burned over 3000 calories throughout the day because i was going out to eat with friends. We went to this hole in the wall Mexican restaurant (always the best foods!) and i knew i was getting their chicken fajita salad that was 770 calories. That part was easy. But i wanted to burn the extra calories so i could eat chips and salsa. I had already p... Fri, 25 Apr 2014 12:34:36 EST 68 Day Challenge: Day 2 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 2 of this 68 Day Challenge wasn't so bad. BUT what i have learned is that because i burn so many calories in the evening because that's when i'm walking or running i am STARVING by the time i get home. I cook a healthy meal, but within an hour of eating it i'm hungry again. I need to go and pick up some fruit and veggies so that i can snack on that verses making a second meal. <BR> <BR> April 23, 2014 was da... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 13:58:26 EST 68 Day Challenge: Day 1 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have 68 days until i go home to Chicago to visit family for two weeks. I decided that over the course of these next 68 days i will form healthier habits to carry me on through my vacation time. Why? HELLO?! Chicago deep dish pizza, an abundance of puerto rican food, cuban food and desserts. The joys of Summer back home walking to the local Diary Queen with my 4 little nieces. FOOD will be everywhere and i need to... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 11:24:22 EST Confession of a 19lb Gain It's confession time for me...In the last two months i've gained 19 pounds. Am i shocked? no. Am i upset? No. Am i disappointed? Yes. <BR> <BR> I can pin point where my increase in weight began...mid February. Before you say, "Oh Valentines Day because she's single." No and Yes. My oldest brother was murdered on Valentine's Day back in 1992. So when you add that on top of COUNTLESS friends getting engaged...then it spells disaster for me. Why? Because I miss family...i miss having my own fam... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 16:33:02 EST Half Marathon Recap This past weekend i completed my 3rd half marathon...YUP all of them I have been over 250lbs. Anything can be done if you train your body! <BR> <BR> I wasn't sure how this half would play out. I've been plagued with knee pain for the past month. My nutrition has not been up to par lately. I went into it feeling defeated and therefore sluggish. <BR> <BR> I have a goal for 2014 to complete a half marathon in under 3hrs and 15mins. i KNEW this was the not half to do it in. My shortest time so... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 12:19:20 EST Not Where I Want To Be, But Closer Than I Was I'm not where i want to be in my weight loss but i am a lot closer than i was. There are many times when i start to think about how far i still have to go and it gets discouraging. I started with a weight of over 320lbs. I didn't really want to weigh myself and I only weighed myself after i had lost some weight so i don't know what my true starting weight or heaviest weight was/is. That was back in 2011. I'm currently sitting at 256.8lbs. It's taken me over 3 years to lose 63.2lbs. Mind you t... Tue, 18 Mar 2014 15:09:51 EST Beauty is Seen in the Heart If what you see by the eye doesn't please you, then close your eyes and see from the heart. Because the heart can see beauty and love more than the eye can ever wonder (Indian proverb). <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We all want to be told that we are beautiful...let's just be real...we ALL want to hear it. BUT it's taken me a LONG time to realize that first i need to know that when i look in the mirror that I believe that i am beaut... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 12:22:51 EST Defying the Odds I wrote this on my FB page yesterday... <BR> <BR> I LOVE my perfectly imperfect journey! There are times when "friends" will ask me why i'm eating what i'm eating (like a burger or pizza) and i simply tell them it's because i don't refuse myself anything. Once i start denying myself then i'm on a diet and eventually i'll stop doing healthy things all together. Ask anyone that has EVER been over-weight...i mean OBESELY over weight...and they'll share with you that throughout their journey the... Fri, 14 Mar 2014 12:14:23 EST Sometimes You Just Need to Start Over I'm treating Yesterday as my "new" start date. Why? Well, over the course of the last two years i've lost roughly 75lbs. In the course of the past two weeks i've GAINED back almost 15 of those pounds. So i'm starting back at Day 1 at 259lbs. I'm thankful that I only gained 15lbs and that i'm still in the 200's versus being back in the 300's. I know what i need to do...we ALL know what we need to do. It's the actual doing that's the hard part. <BR> <BR> I got up early yesterday morning and w... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 08:53:14 EST Finding YOU while losing weight... When i started this journey a few years ago all i thought about was losing the weight. I had this crazy notion that once i was at "THE" weight everything would fall into place. I imagined falling in love, having babies, looking BEAUTIFUL in the best clothing, feeling great about myself and just loving life. What i did not realize is that "losing weight" and "finding yourself" tend to hold hands throughout the journey. <BR> <BR> I started this journey using SparkPeople back in January of 2011... Wed, 12 Feb 2014 16:14:51 EST A Walk in the Park On Sunday i decided I had enough of the "rest" ordered my my doctor - I had my wisdom teeth removed on Thursday. I needed to get OUT...i needed to get up off the couch and just move and feel alive again. The vicodin i'm on is just knocking me out and i'm tired of sleeping the days away. I looked ta my fitness calendar and 9 miles were on the agenda for the day. I'm 8 weeks out from the HM and my friend that is doing her 1st HM was on her way to my place to pick me up. Neither one of us though... Mon, 27 Jan 2014 11:38:22 EST Standing Still or Moving Forward? I sit here wondering if i'm currently standing still or moving forward. I'm not 100% sure at the moment so I need to work through some things to figure out if i need to change my course of action. <BR> <BR> This was..WAS me just a few years ago. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And today this is me... <BR> <BR> <img src=" Tue, 21 Jan 2014 14:08:58 EST The Girl Within Me I've noticed something about myself lately...I still think I'm that 320+ pound girl that I was a few years ago. I still get nervous about trying new things. I wonder if people will stop, stare and laugh at me. I wonder if I'd make a fool out of myself. I wonder if I'd feel ashamed afterwards. I wonder a lot of things when I ponder trying something new. The truth is that has always been something I've done. That has not changed. <BR> <BR> what has changed though is me. I'm almost 70lbs light... Tue, 7 Jan 2014 06:54:16 EST Final Race of 2013 Just a week ago today I completed my final race of 2013. The Jingle Bell Run 5k. It's been just about a month or so since i started running. My goal was to try to finish in under 45 minutes. Well.. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Mon, 30 Dec 2013 15:40:56 EST 2013 Year-End & 2014 Goals <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 2013 held many accomplishments for me. <BR> <BR> In February I unexpectedly completed my first half marathon. I had been in training for a half that would take place in May, but two friends decided to back out of the February race since it was only 30 degrees and windy. So a friend and I took their bibs and completed the half marathon. <BR> <BR> <img src="">... Tue, 17 Dec 2013 12:36:35 EST December's Harsh Reality For me the month of December has always been that month where a black cloud tends to hover right above me...never quite pouring down on me but just dark enough to feel its presence. Let me explain...more so for me than any reader out here. Sometimes it's just easier for me to write things down, somewhere that i can go back on a later date and's easier for me to capture why i feel a certain way when i write it all down...i need it to stare me in the face to truly understand it. <BR... Tue, 10 Dec 2013 16:07:12 EST Self Image Self image and self worth is something that i've struggled with a lot in my life. Even as the weight melts away, it's still a constant battle with myself. It can be debilitating. <BR> <BR> This past weekend i was at he gym with my running partner. She and i work well together. We encourage one another to strive for better. We are open and real with one another. What we say to one another may sometimes be difficult, but we know it's rooted in love and respect for one another. She's a sister t... Mon, 25 Nov 2013 10:56:18 EST Accomplishments...BIG and SMALL All too often we only celebrate the HUGE accomplishments, but those small victories are what gets us to those large accomplishments. You don't just wake up one day and realize you've lost 100 pounds. No, more than likely every week you steadily saw the scale produce a number that indicates some of your hard work. Remember the scale is only one measurement of success, there are so many others. So why don't we celebrate all of the small victories along our journey that leads to the ONE accompli... Thu, 14 Nov 2013 14:06:28 EST I walked OVER 60 miles in just 3 days... DAY 1 <BR> I had my alarm set for 4:00am but who can sleep with so much excitement? I was up and ready by 3:30am. Opening ceremonies didn’t start until 8:00am! The team I joined, Pink Soles in Motion, rented a charter bus to take us to the opening ceremonies and we needed to be on the bus by 5:00am. We were going to arrive in style. We were the first ones on the scene with the exception of the crew and volunteers. <BR> <BR> <img src="">... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:36:25 EST It's MORE than just about the BLING I enjoy making things with my hands. I'd rather create it myself than purchase something someone else has made...even if the cost is a bit more. I want to make things my own. This past weekend i completed a wall project... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> To some people this wall may be a showcase of the events i've completed. To show off the BLING i've received for completing certain events. <BR> <BR> That's not what it is to me. <B... Tue, 29 Oct 2013 11:33:15 EST Changes Can be Scary When You Did Not Expect Them I'm not just changing my weight. When we start this journey we tend to just think about our weight changing, us getting thinner, and maybe purchasing new clothes in the "regular" department stores. It's rare that we consider ALL of the other changes that may take place. <BR> <BR> Almost two years ago all i wanted to do was lose weight. Thats all that i focused on. I had no clue what changes would come from that one simple thought. Fast forward two years and here's what i've just come to figu... Mon, 21 Oct 2013 15:02:10 EST Meaurements and Pictures This is really just for me to keep a record of where i'm at in regards to my measurements. <BR> <BR> January 2012 to October 2012 <BR> Thigh: 28.5 to 25.5 <BR> Arm: 14 to 13 <BR> Chest: 52.5 to 41 <BR> Stomach: 54.5 to 49 <BR> Waist: 50 to 42.5 <BR> Hips: 57 to 47.75 <BR> Calf: 18.5 to 16.25 <BR> BMI: 56.5 to 46.8 <BR> <BR> Starting Weight was 320ish pounds. Current official weight (10/16) is 256 pounds. <BR> <BR> The scale and even my measurements only tell certain parts of the tsory. <BR... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:21:03 EST An old letter... Have you ever come across an old letter from a friend or loved one and reread it just to have the tears flowing? I've been going through my old blogs and deleting many of them and I came across a letter i wrote to myself...and i had to repost it because it's so honest...and i can remember hte pan and frustration. While i think i've grown a lot, so many of the hurts and fears are till there...but they are weakening! <BR> <BR> From July 2011: <BR> <BR> Hi Vicky! <BR> <BR> It's been a long w... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 11:36:15 EST I Changed One Addiction for Another I use to be addicted to food. What does that mean? It means EVERYTHING i did revolved around food. Friends are coming over...what should I cook and bake? Meeting up with friends...where are we going to eat? Lets watch a movie...what size popcorn should i get? Every emotion triggered my making multiple trips to the kitchen. God i love food...I still do. But just because something is good, does NOT mean that it is good for you. Too much of anything can be dangerous. <BR> <BR> I don't really kn... Thu, 17 Oct 2013 10:45:44 EST MAKE it a goal to your future self to be your healthiest... So I want to share something and i want it KNOWN that i'm not boasting or down playing this at all, but.. <BR> <BR> When i weighed in the scale read 256.0 pounds...i CANNOT remember the last time i weighed only 256 pounds. I changed my yearly goal on Spark. I would love to end the year at 236lbs. Do you know why i chose 236lbs? I'll tell you why... <BR> <BR> Back in 1996 I remember going to the doctor, stepping on the scale and the nurse announcing that i was 236lbs. I remember how crushed ... Wed, 16 Oct 2013 16:54:10 EST Triumphs and Loneliness Sometimes I think that both triumphs and loneliness go hand-in-hand. They can both cause havoc on one another. <BR> <BR> Last week my doctor told me i needed to stop my training for the 3 Day event until my foot heals. I could have easily taken it as an opportunity to just stop all fitness and veg out on the couch. BUT it worried me because i did not want to lose momentum and/or gain weight. So i asked if I could do other things. I can basically do anything that will not cause me to apply co... Wed, 16 Oct 2013 11:12:01 EST The BIG Picture Sometimes looking at the BIG picture can place a damper on your efforts...even if it's just for a short time. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I had a conversation with someone at the office that proceeded to tell me how his wife started running and has enjoyed it because of the weight she had lost. The rest of the conversation took on a tone of, "If you move more you could lose some weight too." hmmmm...i'm good at NOT lashing out, biting my tongue and being polite. So i just refocused on his wife and w... Tue, 15 Oct 2013 09:40:23 EST Plan B: New Course of Action OK, so my doctor said i cannot continue my walk training for the next 7 to 10 days. That stung! My first thought was, "What the hell do you mean, i can't walk?" In that split second all i saw in front of me was my gaining back every pound i ever lost. Every pound i FOUGHT to lose. But just as quickly i realized he said i could not continue with my walk training but i could do other forms of fitness that would keep the impact off of my foot. <BR> <BR> So as i drove back to work from his offic... Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:31:19 EST I've Come Further than I Thought... Looking back over this past week i've realized something now that i'm a bit more clear headed...I've come further along than i thought. <BR> <BR> You see, even though for a day or so this week I was fighting with my inner demons (that bitch voice in my head that lives to torment me with my past) I came out of it with a better understanding of who I really am. <BR> <BR> Who am i? <BR> <BR> I'm a WARRIOR. Warriors fight in the midst of the deadliest outcomes and with all of their heart still... Fri, 11 Oct 2013 09:54:00 EST What do you mean i can't walk?! It's no secret that these last few days have been a bit emotional for me. Just dealing with a lot of self infliction and such. But i was not prepared for what came today...or maybe I was. <BR> <BR> I've made it known that i've been training for this Susan G Koman 3 Day 60 Mile Breast Cancer walk that is coming up in 21 days. I've been on point about my training and my eating. It's been a HUGE goal of mine. I first did the walk back in 2009 but was so ill prepared for it that i only ended up ... Thu, 10 Oct 2013 14:16:11 EST Follow-up to Battling Demons I think it's funny how a complete stranger can take me back to where i need to go. Yesterday I was battling with my inner voice. That voice that loves to tell me how terrible I am, how i'm never going to amount to much in this world, how I will always be that lonely fat girl that could only wish to be happy. I battle with that inner voice often. <BR> <BR> And days like yesterday that voice claims victory over me. I was so beaten by the time i finally got home that i just laid on my couch an... Wed, 9 Oct 2013 09:07:59 EST Battling Demons It's easy to log on and just blog about the great things happening. The races, the training, the eating better and healthier...but what about the rest of the crap? <BR> <BR> Sometimes life just sucks. That's the cleanest way i can say it. I've never hidden my true self in my blogs so why start now? I put my bad days out there because i'm real. There's never a time when someone should wonder how i feel about something. I'm pretty open. I'm open to the point where it hurts. <BR> <BR> In the ... Tue, 8 Oct 2013 12:34:21 EST Sometimes A Small Change Can Make ALL the Difference I always hear about people having an "ah ha!" moment. And that's their turning point in their lives to make things better, to do things right and to make themselves proud. But not everyone has that moment. Sometimes it's a series of events that leads us to a conclusion. Sometimes it's just that moment where you say, "I've had enough!" Then you formulate a plan of attack. <BR> <BR> I've never had that "ah ha!" moment. BUT i have had some amazing encouragement along the way. Sometimes just he... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 11:14:17 EST A Picture CAN Say a 1000 Words Yesterday was and is one of those days i'd like to forget. Do you ever have that day where it seems like the entire universe is working against you? Where every time you take a step, you just know something went wrong. It's like a run away car going down a hill...regardless of how much you want and try to stop it, it won't stop until it has reached bottom. That was my day yesterday. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I wish my life were a movie. It would be Ground Hogs Day. Why? So that i could do it over,... Thu, 26 Sep 2013 14:56:51 EST Keepin My Eyes on the Prize I was reminded by a friend that sometimes we look for the next great accomplishment vs. monitoring and taking care of the day to day stuff. We look at the next BIG one! The next race, the next personal record, the next...the next...the next. What about today? What about making sure that today i do what i need to do to get to tomorrow? <BR> <BR> So it was self-evaluation time - this is something that MUST be done every so often. It's a reality check really. <BR> <BR> My FAVORITE movie of all... Mon, 23 Sep 2013 14:24:57 EST Picture Meltdown... Do you ever have one of those days where everything is going along quite smoothly and then BAM! Something knocks you on your behind in a split second. Well...that's how my Wednesday panned out. <BR> <BR> Back in August I went on a Bachelorette girls weekend and everyone took photos. The maid of honor collected all of the pictures and gave each of us a flash drive with all the photos. Great, right? WRONG! So VERY, VERY wrong... <BR> <BR> When you take a photo of yourself - even when you can ... Fri, 20 Sep 2013 10:22:59 EST The Wedding is THIS Saturday!!! No not my wedding, but the wedding in which i have purchased 5, YES FIVE, black dresses for because i loved them all. BUT the last one i purchased, and did not dare share, is the one i'm going with. As soon as i put it on i was in love with it. <BR> <BR> Here's the dress... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And here's how i'll wear my hair. I need to hide the pins a bit better and curl my hair just a bit more, but i like it... <BR> <BR> <i... Mon, 16 Sep 2013 13:50:16 EST BLC22 AFTER Photos Before BLC22: <BR> <BR> June 11& June 24th before photos... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> AFTER BLC22 <BR> <BR> August 24-25th photos... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Mon, 26 Aug 2013 13:49:42 EST Bachelorette Wine Glasses OK, some of you have asked about the wine glasses i painted for a friends bachelorette they are: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Wed, 14 Aug 2013 16:45:02 EST August Goals Update August Goals! <BR> <BR> * Walk 115 miles...completed 38.75 miles <em>311</em> <BR> <BR> * Complete 3000 crunches...completed 635 <em>418</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> * complete 1500 squats...completed 315 <BR> <BR> * End August under's WI i was at 267.3lbs <em>192</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> * Complete a 5k under 50 minutes (I haven't timed myself in months so i know i may have slowed down a bit) <BR> <BR> <em>364</em> 8/10 5k in 54:42 <BR> <BR> <BR> I still have over... Wed, 14 Aug 2013 16:41:03 EST August Updates... I feel as though these past 5 days have been on fast extremely busy! <BR> <BR> August Goals! <BR> <BR> * Walk 115 miles...completed 25.21 miles <BR> * Complete a 5k under 50 minutes (I haven't times myself in months so i know i may have slowed down a bit) <BR> * Complete 3000 crunches...completed 180 <BR> * complete 1500 squats...completed 80 <BR> * End August under 260lbs...last Wednesdays WI i was at 268.3lbs <BR> <BR> <img src=" Tue, 6 Aug 2013 10:18:07 EST August Goals & Measurements <em>184</em> <em>311</em> <em>184</em> <em>311</em> <em>184</em> <em>311</em> <em>184</em> <em>311</em> <em>184</em> <em>311</em> <BR> <BR> August Goals! <BR> <BR> * Walk 115 miles <BR> * Complete a 5k under 50 minutes (I haven't times myself in months so i know i may have slowed down a bit) <BR> * Complete 3000 crunches <BR> * complete 1500 squats <BR> * End August under 260lbs <BR> <BR> Here's a snap shot of my c... Thu, 1 Aug 2013 14:44:27 EST End of July Update <img src=""> <BR> This is after my 3 mile walk last night! I was a sweaty mess. <BR> <BR> For the month of July my goals were to walk/run 100 miles...I completed 108.8 miles!!! <BR> <BR> January 101.83 miles <BR> February 92.61 miles <BR> March 121.78 mles <BR> April 96.76 miles <BR> May 51.02 miles <BR> June 73.82 miles <BR> July 108.80 miles <BR> <BR> That's a combined total of 646.62 miles i've walked so far this year. <BR> ... Thu, 1 Aug 2013 11:43:44 EST Almost End of July Update <img src=""> <BR> <BR> For the month of July my goals were to walk/run 100 far i'm at 102.8 miles <BR> <BR> January 101.83 miles <BR> February 92.61 miles <BR> March 121.78 mles <BR> April 96.76 miles <BR> May 51.02 miles <BR> June 73.82 miles <BR> <BR> That's a combined total of 640.62 miles i've walked so far this year. <BR> <BR> <em>311</em> <em>311</em> <em>311</em> <em>311</em> <em>... Tue, 30 Jul 2013 16:42:52 EST Monthly Travels 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This year i have walked FAR! <BR> <BR> January 101.83 miles <BR> February 92.61 miles <BR> March 121.78 mles <BR> April 96.76 miles <BR> May 51.02 miles <BR> June 73.82 miles <BR> <BR> So far for July, I've walked 71.13 miles <BR> <BR> That's a combined total of 608.95 miles i've walked so far this year. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Tue, 23 Jul 2013 13:07:32 EST