VASHLUVER1's SparkPeople Blog VASHLUVER1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Second Year of College: Analysis The whole campus is under construction right now. They’ve torn out the infrastructure, destroyed the landscaping, and are preparing to close off the library this coming school year. This year will be forever etched in my mind as the year of my mental breakdown and reconstruction. <BR> <BR> I am currently doing really well. I just got a job working at the UCen. I’ve been in dire need of a second job for a while now. I’m already a course grader for Human Sexuality. Money has been tight, as alw... Thu, 19 May 2011 13:52:47 EST New Beginnings I love new beginnings. Everything is so fresh and clean. There are opportunities to act differently and look at life with new eyes. I am on the train going back to UCSB for the last quarter of the school year. Today is the last day of my spring break. I feel relaxed and ready to finish up my second year of college. Over break, I spent most of my time with Anthony. I saw my family. I got a wonderful massage from my favorite massage therapist at Massage Envy, as well as a facial. I feel as if I... Thu, 31 Mar 2011 11:32:06 EST Stress Relief Ok so right off the bat, totally honest, this is me: <BR> <BR> <BR> I am one of the most tense and anxious people you will ever meet. I'm also extremely moody and emotional. The smallest things can change my day from awesome to horrible and back to amazing and then to neutral... I'm like a manual transmission (not a car person...) or a roller coaster or... other things that change dramatically at the drop of a pin. I'm also dramatic and flamboyant and this is part of my humor, but sometime... Fri, 11 Mar 2011 15:36:32 EST Body Image Isn't it silly how a sudden and unexpected drop in the number on that scale can make a day go from blah to amazing? That sudden drop could be a sign that something is wrong. People don't randomly lose 4 lbs in a week, but we (women in particular) thrive on those possibly unhealthy numbers. <BR> <BR> <BR> The world we live in rewards thin and slightly underweight women and doesn't focus enough attention on feeling your best and most confident self. Magazines are slowly trying to increase th... Thu, 10 Mar 2011 12:48:48 EST Best Week Ever! ...and it's only Wednesday! My boyfriend visited me three days early! He was supposed to come tomorrow, but got here on Monday for Valentine's day, which is also our anniversary! I'm so glad he's here. He deals with my horrible body image and never gets tired of making me feel beautiful. He is my support system. I've been working out a bit less than I usually do because I want to spend more time with him, but somehow, I feel sexier and more beautiful than those weeks where I work out like cra... Wed, 16 Feb 2011 12:29:24 EST Today I realized... ...that I have a sexy-fine, desirably body. This will probably be only a temporary realization, but that's how I feel in the moment. I've got curves in all the right places. I may never be 110 lbs like I want, but is that really a realistic goal weight? I think that once I hit that weight, I'll just go back up to my average weight of 120 again. Is it worth trying to get to that super low weight when I know I'll gain the ten pounds back again? I don't really think so. I should love my body the... Sat, 12 Feb 2011 19:18:26 EST It's a "Beautiful Day"! I'm finally done with midterms. I'm pretty sure I kicked butt on them! I only had one class today, but I skipped it to take a mental health day. Today is beautiful. I'm listening to "Beautiful Day" by U2, hence the title of my blog entry. I updated my Happy Day playlist adding songs like Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles, Firework by Katy Perry, What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong, etc. This playlist is so empowering. I really feel like I can do anything. Today I jogged to the gym, ran ... Wed, 9 Feb 2011 19:03:30 EST Soooo stressed out! So this weekend has been crazy stressful. I'm studying for my last two midterms, which are on the SAME day! I had to grade make up midterms for my job, as well as do some business for my Leadership Organization. I had to write a French paper and an essay for an application due on Tuesday. So basically, I didn't have the time to go to the gym, and I'm punishing myself for it. I can't help it! My motto is usually to not sacrifice working out for school... I think I'll be much happier come Tuesd... Sun, 6 Feb 2011 23:07:56 EST The Day Before Midterms So tomorrow I start taking midterms. I have two tomorrow and two next Tuesday. I'm semi-stressed about them, but exercising always helps me relax. And Katy Perry's new album is playing in the background and making me super happy for some reason. I'm singing really loudly and not caring about who can hear me. I feel like dancing around my room like a freak! It's just one of those good days. I still have a lot of work to do today and for the rest of the week, but that's ok. It will get done. It... Wed, 2 Feb 2011 18:18:18 EST First Entry So in all honesty, I'm writing this blog entry to get the spark point... because I'm obsessed with getting to the next level in EVERYTHING! But I might as well really make this a legitimate post. I'm feeling a bit better about myself now that I've been working out a lot more. A couple weeks ago, I hit an all time low self-esteem wise. It was pretty bad. And it took four friends and my boyfriend to pull me out of it, but they managed. SparkPeople helps me mentally feel better about myself. It ... Tue, 1 Feb 2011 10:43:28 EST