USMAWIFE's SparkPeople Blog USMAWIFE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Mom learns a new trick from her daughter-in-law but she should have thought twice Mom learns a new trick from her daughter-in-law but she should have thought twice <BR> <BR> It’s late in the week and we could use a laugh. This one did the trick. Maybe it’ll give you a good chuckle as well. We read the author is Anonymous, so we don’t know who to thank! <BR> <BR> A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly at a recently married couple’s house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch totally naked. <BR>... Mon, 29 Aug 2016 08:41:59 EST A Letter From A Mother To Her Son - Funny Story <BR> Dear Child, <BR> <BR> I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. <BR> <BR> We don't live where we did when you left home. <BR> <BR> Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. <BR> <BR> I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address. <BR> <BR> This place is real nice. It even has a washin... Sun, 28 Aug 2016 13:43:57 EST if Your Body Suddenly Jerks While Falling Asleep, THIS is What It Means. <BR> Have you ever woken up with a jerk as if been thrown into your bed? Or fallen from a virtually enormous height onto your bed? These are known as “hypnic jerks” or “sleep start” and as many as 70% of people experience them from time to time. This parasomnia occurs only during the hypnagogic state, the transitional period between wakefulness and sleep. <BR> falling-sensation-sleep <BR> SO WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? <BR> <BR> This phenomenon is extremely common, but surprisingly, scientists ar... Sat, 27 Aug 2016 15:16:03 EST what i knitted during the olympics I will be making <link><BR>led-teal-vest </link> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> start 8/5 730 pm est finished 8/11 <BR> <BR> yarn earthtones <BR> <BR> second project using antibes yarn <BR> <link><BR>na-shawl </link> <BR> <... Fri, 26 Aug 2016 11:39:02 EST update to yesterdays blog i really know the guy is lying to me as he sent me a copy of the check via email and if he had gone and checked his records he would have known the check was the wrong amount <BR> <BR> Good morning, <BR> <BR> I had left a note in the file for the total to write the check for. I was unaware that the amount on the check that was not the amount we'd discussed. I'm going to follow up with Jerry to see what happened. <BR> <BR> we shall see what happens next Thu, 25 Aug 2016 11:15:28 EST Hump day today is just one of those days. Was not supposed to rain, yet it did for several hours and the dog did not like it .. I have been awake since 3 am after after 3 hours of sleep if that much Have been up on the computer, knitting cleaning and doing some exercise in the house <BR> <BR> when the roof was finally fixed after the contractor did all that damage, i told the roofer i did not want to have the gutter replaced and please refund the gutter and installation money. That started on J... Wed, 24 Aug 2016 15:21:47 EST depression sucks It is so very hard living with someone who is depressed nothing makes them happy anymore <BR> <BR> Tue, 23 Aug 2016 21:03:00 EST A Tomato Story <BR> A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a very big company. <BR> <BR> The employer interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. <BR> <BR> “You are hired.” – the employer said. ”Give me your email address, and I’ll send you the application to fill, as well as when you will start.” <BR> <BR> The man replied, “I don’t have a computer, neither an email.” <BR> <BR> “I’m sorry,” said the employer, “if you don’t have an email , you cannot have the job.” <BR> <BR> The m... Mon, 22 Aug 2016 13:30:05 EST 20 of the Wisest Quotes of All Time <BR> <BR> Wisdom is something that comes from experience. Humans experience things differently from each other, they are always seeking wisdom no matter what the experience may be. <BR> <BR> We use this wisdom to guide ourselves away from past mistakes and hopefully reach our endgame goals. Wisdom of all kinds has been passed down throughout every single generation of man. It is only acceptable that we give back the wisdom we have received to those who need it more than we do. <BR> <BR> ... Sun, 21 Aug 2016 12:11:34 EST Two Scared Puppies Protected By A Large Cobra, It’s Just A Miracle <BR> There is goodness inside all of us, we just need to believe and keep going. <BR> <BR> Animals sometimes show more humanity and kindness than us humans. This incident that happened in a remote village of Punjab, India few days back involving animals will warm your heart. <BR> <BR> Two stray puppies, not more than 20-25 days fell into a deep well. Luckily the well was dry and they didn’t drown. When the villagers tried to rescue the puppies they were shocked to see a big black Cobra nex... Sat, 20 Aug 2016 20:17:47 EST never ignore a person who loves you There was a guy who was so tired of reading his girlfriend's message because there are always "I love you!", "I miss you!" or "Hey, have you had your meal?" <BR> <BR> One night while lying on the bed, he received a text message from her. He didn't read it, instead he ignored it and slept off. <BR> <BR> In the morning, he got a call from his girlfriend's mom. She was crying helpless while telling him that his girlfriend was killed that night she sent the text to him. He remembered there was ... Fri, 19 Aug 2016 15:22:14 EST The Ripples - A Small Inspirational Story <BR> <BR> A man was sitting by a lake. He was throwing small pebbles into it from time to time. A young boy happened to cross by. He was intrigued to see that after every few minutes or so, the man would toss a pebble into the lake. <BR> <BR> The boy went up to the man and said, “Good pastime, this stone throwing, he?” “Hmmm,” said the man. He seemed to be deep in thought and obviously did not wish to be disturbed. <BR> <BR> Sometime later, the man said softly, “Look at the water, it is a... Thu, 18 Aug 2016 15:55:43 EST 4 Introvert types. Which one are you? <BR> <BR> Researcher Jonathan Cheek told Science of Us that there are four different types of introverts: social, thinking, anxiousand restrained and that every introvert has varying degrees of these traits, which makes sense considering introvert is a huge term that has various meanings and traits within itself. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 1. Social Introversion: <BR> A social introvert is the cliché type of introvert, if you will. It’s the type of introvert who likes to be alone and pre... Wed, 17 Aug 2016 19:28:34 EST Anger Always Harmful, Patience Is Must Required In Life <BR> As the carpenter went home after shutting down his workshop, a black poisonous cobra entered his workshop. <BR> <BR> The cobra was hungry & hoped to find its supper lurking somewhere within. It slithered from one end to another & finally bumped into an axe & got very slightly injured. <BR> <BR> In anger & revenge, the snake bit the axe with full force. What could a bite do to a metallic axe? Instead the cobra ‘s mouth started bleeding. <BR> <BR> Out of fury & arrogance, the cobra tri... Tue, 16 Aug 2016 18:55:21 EST frozen hot chocolate slush I love frozen hot chocolate <BR> <BR> <link><BR>zen-hot-chocolate-slush.html </link> Tue, 16 Aug 2016 15:05:57 EST A Desperate Mother Was Turned Away At The Grocery Store. What Followed Was Priceless .A poorly dressed lady with a look of defeat on her face, walked into a grocery store. She approached the owner of the store in a most humble manner and asked if he would let her charge a few groceries. She softly explained that her husband was very ill and unable to work, they had seven children and they needed food. <BR> <BR> The grocer scoffed at her and requested that she leave his store. <BR> <BR> Visualizing the family needs, she said: "Please, sir! I will bring you the money just as ... Mon, 15 Aug 2016 16:00:47 EST a new week today is just a long day. Sun, 14 Aug 2016 15:49:26 EST His Wife Left Him And Their Son After A Fight. Two Days Later, He Posts This Shocking Letter <BR> <BR> No matter how much you love your spouse, arguing with them is pretty much inevitable — especially when you have kids. <BR> When you both work hard to do what’s best for your family, the stress and frustration may become too much to bear. <BR> So when this wife felt unappreciated by her husband, she got tired of fighting with him. She tearfully left him alone with the children without any sign that she’d come back. Just two days later, though, her husband decided to write her a let... Sat, 13 Aug 2016 20:24:24 EST Every Problem Has Solution, We Just Need To Believe! <BR> Story : <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A father left 17 camels, as the inheritance for his three sons. <BR> When the father passed away, his sons opened up the will. <BR> The Will stated that THE ELDEST SON SHOULD GET HALF of 17 camels while THE MIDDLE SON SHOULD BE GIVEN 1/3RD (ONE-THIRD) & THE YOUNGEST SON SHOULD BE GIVEN 1/9TH (ONE-NINTH) of the 17 camels. <BR> As it is not possible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the three sons started to quarrel with each other. So, the three... Fri, 12 Aug 2016 15:34:22 EST rip rob. This morning as I went to my facebook page at 330 am, I found a message that really was sad <BR> <BR> a friend who is a retired COL from the Army reserves and had worked with my husband in two different companies passed away last evening <BR> <BR> there were at least a fifteen different posts on his page from different friends and family members expressing their shock and sympathies to his daughters <BR> <BR> One picture was taken at lunch with another friend... hours after that picture h... Thu, 11 Aug 2016 17:17:49 EST Couple Is Happily Married For Sixty Years. But She Never Thought He’d Blame Her For <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. <BR> <BR> Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. <BR> <BR> Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. <BR> <BR> One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. <BR> <BR... Wed, 10 Aug 2016 19:57:39 EST Know What to Say and When – funny <BR> <BR> <BR> Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. <BR> <BR> The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent,” <BR> <BR> They throw the switch and nothing h... Tue, 9 Aug 2016 15:51:00 EST 12 Laws of Karma that Will Change Your Life <BR> <BR> What is Karma? Karma is the Sanskrit word for action. It is equivalent to Newton’s law of ‘every action must have a reaction’. When we think, speak or act we initiate a force that will react accordingly. This returning force maybe modified, changed or suspended, but most people will not be able eradicate it. This law of cause and effect is not punishment, but is wholly for the sake of education or learning. <BR> <BR> A person may not escape the consequences of his actions, but he... Mon, 8 Aug 2016 18:56:41 EST 6 Signs Your Partner Is Manipulating You <BR> 1. You find yourself emotionally volatile. <BR> <BR> <BR> The one thing the manipulator enjoys more than anything is to guilt you. When you're made to feel guilty about something, you often find yourself feeling self-hate. Self-hate leads to emotional volatility. One thing you'll notice is a sense of stability returning to your life. <BR> <BR> 2. You're finding your relationships with others are getting worse. <BR> <BR> Your manipulating partner may have, without you even really rea... Sun, 7 Aug 2016 15:48:37 EST 11 Quotes To Remember When You’re Overthinking .The mind sometimes resembles a five year old child – it wants to have everything a certain way and never knows how to sit still. If you allow your brain to continuously run a mile a minute without ever interjecting, it will only press on with the madness until you discover that your mind has slowly become a prison. Learning to take time quiet your mind, instead of distracting it, can allow you to have more mental clarity, focus, and give up the toxic habit of overthinking. <BR> <BR> 1. You ... Sat, 6 Aug 2016 17:01:33 EST Why Do We Shout in Anger? <BR> A master asked his disciples: <BR> ‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’ <BR> The disciples thought for a while, and one of them said <BR> ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’ <BR> ‘But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you? ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’ <BR> The disciples gave him some other answers but none satisfied the master. <BR> ... Fri, 5 Aug 2016 16:11:29 EST date with destiny One day death came to a Guy and said, "Hey, today is your last day." <BR> <BR> Guy, "But I'm not ready!" <BR> <BR> Death said, "Well today your name is the first on my list." <BR> <BR> Guy, "Okay then why don't you take a seat and we will drink a COFFEE before we go?" <BR> <BR> Death, "All right." <BR> <BR> The Guy gave Death some COFFEE with sleeping pills in it. Death finished COFFEE and fell into a deep sleep!!! The Guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put at ... Thu, 4 Aug 2016 15:02:33 EST Ever Wondered Why Do Sports Athletes Wear That Colored Tape On Their Body? Have you ever wondered why the some athletes wear that colourful tape across their body? If you’ve been watching the sports, you’ve probably seen some athletes wearing weird tape (mostly blue) on various parts of their bodies. Many international sports stars including Novak Djokovic, Cristiano Ronaldo, Dale Steyn wear this tape. <BR> <BR> Novak Djokovic has been wearing the tape during his Wimbledon matches. <BR> The tape is known as the Kinesio (or just ‘k’) tape. It is an elastic sports an... Wed, 3 Aug 2016 17:47:02 EST Military: A Beautiful True Love Story <BR> <BR> One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love. <BR> <BR> But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy. <BR> <BR> So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand. <BR> <BR> But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man ... Tue, 2 Aug 2016 19:08:33 EST Give Your Best And The World Comes To You <BR> <BR> Its Just Awesome... Read it.... <BR> <BR> A Little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: <BR> <BR> Boy: “Lady, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?” <BR> <BR> Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) “I already have someone to cut my lawn.” <BR> <BR> Boy: “Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now.” <BR> <BR> W... Mon, 1 Aug 2016 18:23:39 EST the week starts today marks the one year anniversary of my father in laws passing. My mother in law is upset as no one in the family is remembering but me.. Honestly no offense to her.. her brother in law is in a hospital in DC fighting for his life now.. one of the nephews wives is recovering from a very freak accident that happened to he during an outpatient procedure.. another nephew has a wife who just had both lungs and a heart replaced. Granted this is a very very large family and my husband is an on... Sun, 31 Jul 2016 17:50:17 EST the highs and lows of this week monday I had my annual appointment with my gyn.. it was a great appointment as we have been together in the patient doctor relationship with 10 years now <BR> she ran some quick tests for her and my pcp and I am waiting for those results <BR> <BR> tuesday was mammogram day as well as make sure my husband got to his ultrasound at the same place as my mammo <BR> <BR> wed the roofers were supposed to be here at 7 am. found out at 830 they were not coming at all and it was being postpone to ... Sat, 30 Jul 2016 19:08:22 EST New shawl <BR> <link><BR>fituralaviolette </link> Knit with two strands of crochet cotton thread and one strand of the shawll in a ball yarn <BR> started July 23 finished July 27 <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <link><BR>fituralaviolette </link> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Fri, 29 Jul 2016 11:46:10 EST We Are All Motivated – Either Positively Or Negatively <BR> <BR> <BR> This is a story of two brothers. One was a drug addict and a drunker who frequently beat up his family. The other one was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family. <BR> <BR> Some people wanted to find out why two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different. The first one was asked, “How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates ... Thu, 28 Jul 2016 20:19:04 EST Your Life Changes When YOU Change, Read This Short Inspiring Story. <BR> <BR> One day not too long ago the employees of a large company in St. Louis , Missouri returned from their lunch break and were greeted with a sign on the front door. <BR> The sign said: “Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym.” <BR> At first everyone was sad to hear that one of their colleagues had died, but after a while they started getting curious about who ... Wed, 27 Jul 2016 15:41:43 EST 30 Things You’ll Regret When You’re Old <BR> Before you read this page, make sure you save it and always look at it, just to remind yourself not to regret these things. Here are the 37 things you’ll regret when you’re old. <BR> 1. Not traveling when you had the chance. <BR> Think we all have had this once in our life, thinking ‘I should have gone there or there’. Well as long as you live and able to travel, please do travel. Trust me it becomes a lot harder the older you get. If you think of excuses now, later you will have a fami... Tue, 26 Jul 2016 16:44:51 EST kiss on the cheek <BR> A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. <BR> <BR> The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. <BR> <BR> So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. <BR> <BR> However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. <BR> <BR> The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they re... Mon, 25 Jul 2016 21:12:44 EST I Am Addicted To You - A Sad Love Story <BR> <BR> Phone call * <BR> <BR> Boy: Hey, baby! <BR> <BR> Girl: Hey. <BR> <BR> Boy: I missed you at office today. Why weren’t you there? <BR> <BR> Girl: Yeah, I had to go to the doctor. <BR> <BR> Boy: Oh my God, are you okay?? <BR> <BR> Girl: Silence <BR> <BR> Boy: Sweetie!! Talk to me!! <BR> <BR> Girl: I . . . <BR> <BR> Boy: You what?? YOU WHAT??? <BR> <BR> Girl: I have CANCER and I’m on life support. <BR> <BR> Boy: *breaks into tears* <BR> <BR> Girl: They’re taking me off... Sun, 24 Jul 2016 15:07:46 EST 4 Things Men Will Never Understand About Women <BR> When it comes to men and women falling in love with each other, they try their very best to think of every possible little thing that they need in order for them to be happy. <BR> <BR> However, there are just some certain things that men have a hard time understanding when it comes to the personal needs of their lady or just the women in their lives in general. <BR> <BR> Periods <BR> <BR> Allow me to kick this off with discussing periods. Men are both extremely fascinated by them and... Sat, 23 Jul 2016 16:26:41 EST true love is acceptance <BR> A man and his girlfriend were married. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony. <BR> <BR> The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black suit. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true. <BR> <BR> A few months later, the wife came to the husband with a proposal: “I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage.” she offered. “Each of us will write a list of the t... Fri, 22 Jul 2016 17:09:25 EST 6 Signs You're In The Wrong Relationship <BR> <BR> Relationships can get messy. And that's only because we're capable of feeling intense emotions rapidly, sometimes so fast that we forget to take a step back every now and then to really think about what's going on. <BR> <BR> Sometimes those intense initial feelings you have for one another can keep your relationship happy for a short time, but eventually there has to be something else that takes its place. <BR> <BR> Otherwise, you're likely to succumb to the boredom, fear, anger... Thu, 21 Jul 2016 13:42:31 EST Don't take a woman for granted <BR> Don’t take a woman for granted.. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> If she is giving you too much attention. Just consider yourself lucky because maybe she loves you so much that she doesn’t want anyone else to take her place in your life. If she cries for you don’t think she is weak but consider yourself lucky that she thinks you are worth her precious tears. If she is jealous of the other women around you don’t think she is insecure but she doesn’t want to see anyone else to be in your arms. If a... Wed, 20 Jul 2016 13:24:10 EST Some of my newest projects <link><BR>ring-pullover </link> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <link><BR>nalei-bay-shawl </link> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <link> Tue, 19 Jul 2016 11:47:23 EST Don’t Worry About the Family that Ignores You Never give up on your children. Sometimes you shouldn’t worry about the family who chose to ignore you no matter how many time you try to make them part of your life and they don’t reciprocate but when it comes to your kids, always worry about them and Never give up on them. I know they hurt us sometimes and it can be difficult but pray and hang in there. <BR> <BR> Don't worry about the family that ignores and acts like don't matter, love the ones who are always there for you no matter what.... Mon, 18 Jul 2016 15:47:09 EST att stinks still no internet tv or phone <BR> <BR> att cancelled my appointment without telling us <BR> <BR> worse through all this we had a house showing today <BR> <BR> i have not eaten really anything in the last two days as i am so ticked off at how they are handling this outage Sun, 17 Jul 2016 16:29:41 EST Satuday Sitting in starbucks today as a clap of thunder took my modem out last night we have no internet phone or tv at home and hubby has taken out his complete series of the hbo show Oz and is watching that <BR> <BR> have to be up and ready at 830 am for the att tech to birng a new one to me Sat, 16 Jul 2016 16:37:04 EST 5 Common Mistakes That Will Hurt Your Relationship (And How To Avoid Them) Communication is key to any loving, healthy and strong relationship. <BR> <BR> Through simple mistakes, and careless words, that communication can be twisted. To avoid these mistakes you have to simply slow down, breathe deep and follow the advice below. <BR> <BR> Don't Tune Them Out As You Form Your Opinion <BR> <BR> Conversations are not cycles of you talking and listening just enough to form a response. If you don't fully invest in the conversation at hand, you are disrespecting your pa... Fri, 15 Jul 2016 17:45:29 EST want to be married When people walk out of your life let them go if they honestly ever wanted to be there in the first place they would never chose to leave.When you truly love anyone you never even consider that person out of your life for even a day...if they leave appreciate your friends and family that never left your side, but were there for you at your darkest, loneliest moments as those that really love you and can always no matter what be counted on.Those people would never abandon you, they care too mu... Thu, 14 Jul 2016 16:24:51 EST sleep depreviation I finally put things together and realizing that when I get little sleep I am wired and everything I do during the day I can't sit still or concentrate on like I should <BR> <BR> i had to be up at 8 am (my first time up is 325 and do not go back to sleep until close to 530) for the guy who was coming to fix our irrigation system. <BR> <BR> and of course he did not show up, nor did he call i called him at 1005 and of course got his voice mail. This is his third strike with me and I a... Wed, 13 Jul 2016 16:20:38 EST if you don't feel good enough you need to remember these 5 things <BR> The truth of the matter is that we experience a fair amount of both really good days and extremely bad days simultaneously. Sometimes it can seem like one is happening more than the other and can either put us in a really good mood or make us hate everything entirely. <BR> <BR> It is important that we remind ourselves that things are not so bad when we are feeling our lowest of lows. <BR> <BR> Despair is a very horrible feeling to experience. Here are some reminders that you should re... Tue, 12 Jul 2016 13:50:45 EST