TRACYLI's SparkPeople Blog TRACYLI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community No loss but no gain (this is good!) I haven't lost any weight - but I also haven't gained any either! <BR> <BR> I've also had a mini-streak - three days straight at the gym. I'll take today off from the gym as I have other things going on, but will be back there tomorrow. ) <BR> <BR> I need/want to cut down drinking, which causes me to eat more, and more junk food. So, today I vow is a non-drinking day! <BR> <BR> I'm eating salmon and oj for breakfast, which is a good start to the day. <BR> <BR> <BR> Fri, 23 Nov 2012 06:32:46 EST Positive Thinking and New Clothes Yesterday was not a god day (as evinced by my very depressing blog entry!). But I am feeling better today. I think bad diet and hormones really do affect one's mood and outlook on life. <BR> <BR> Really, I did have an over-indulgent weekend, and I paid for it yesterday in terms of depression as well as having gained a few! <BR> <BR> But I ate well yesterday, took vitamins, drank water and tea, and today is a better day (although it is only 5:15 in the morning!). <BR> <BR> I also shopped -... Tue, 20 Nov 2012 05:16:36 EST Which comes first -the self -loathing or the binging? I am fat. And I don't like my body. But, after yet another huge binge -drinking and eating -this whole weekend, I realize that I actually really don't like which I am on the inside either. I don't care about myself and maybe that is why I eat potato chips and cakes... maybe I'm trying to avoid looking at myself.... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 09:13:03 EST Wow -starting school! So I have been unemployed for a few months, and I'm 40 and single. -nobody to cover the bills while I struggle. However) the harder part of the struggle is psychological. For an active brain to do nothing is hard, and it's tough not to feel depression descend. BUT!! I got into a 5 month intensive course that will teach me new skills, keep me engaged and busy, and definitely help me get a job afterward. I am very very pleased. <BR> <BR> And I know we shouldn't rely on external circumstances... Tue, 23 Oct 2012 06:32:39 EST Binge - now comes the guilt... After a really great weekend last weekend, where I was active, engaged and healthy, I totally binged the last few days. I guzzled nearly 2 bottles of wine last night (after a bottle the night before...), then of course ate frozen pizzas. <BR> <BR> Now, I know that the wine alone was about 1200 calories, which is what I'm supposed to get in a day. <BR> <BR> No wonder I am overweight. <BR> <BR> And y'know, I really think it would help if I had some friends to do stuff with. Since I've mov... Sun, 14 Oct 2012 09:02:21 EST Such a Great Weekend! I spent the long weekend back in my old stomping grounds, spending time with my boyfriend (who still lives there - 250km away from me!), and my best girlfriend. <BR> <BR> No boozing it up at all - not one high-cal (or even low-cal!) alcoholic beverage passed our lips. I ate sort of a lot, but all healthy, home-cooked whole food. So, I am focusing on that as the positive aspect - no french fries or hot dogs or crappy food. And no red wine - a real coup for me. <BR> <BR> I walked tons, ran a... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 18:48:17 EST I ate within my calorie goal!! I actually - I think for the first time ever - ate within my calorie intake goal of 1200 to 1500 cals!! <BR> <BR> I am so pleased with myself. I know it is a little thing, and lots of Spark People have been doing this consistently, but I have not. <BR> <BR> Hence, I am so psyched. Very well pleased indeed. <BR> <BR> Today will be another good day - maybe no time to hit the gym since I'm off to the city to visit friends for the weekend, but tomorrow will be a good run while bf works, and I... Fri, 5 Oct 2012 08:59:06 EST Big Start Well -my boyfriend (who lives 250km away!) And I are getting healthy together. Today was the big start - no more beer for him, a lot less wine for me. He's going to eat much better as will I. And I'm trying to increase my activity level too. This morning I jogged 5km at 6am. Tomorrow I'm joining a gym. <BR> <BR> I didn't eat great today (white bread, pasta...) but no drinking is good and no potato chips either!! <BR> <BR> Tomorrow should be even better! Mon, 1 Oct 2012 19:11:37 EST Life Is Good! I woke up today in much better spirits than yesterday - more energetic, more optimistic. Huh - and this is Monday! How about that? <BR> <BR> Well - I know I was a downer yesterday, I felt so tired and so ... blah! Of course, that was an easy downward spiral to follow. By late yesterday evening, I was feeling much better. One glass of red wine (not a whole bottle for a change, haha), and a couple of Midol... and OH! Understanding dawned. Of course, I was hormonal, which was why things that I ... Mon, 24 Sep 2012 08:15:22 EST Just Another Day It's Sunday. I used to love Sunday mornings. The streets are so quiet, the day itself is quiet and relaxing. But since I've been unemployed, my days have started to run together. I don't really appreciate the weekend anymore, and really dread just another day of ... well, just another day. <BR> <BR> Something is wrong with me - I know that. I am sleeping 10 hours, and waking up so deeply tired and unmotivated. Something tells me it is stress, depression and poor diet. Not necessarily in tha... Sun, 23 Sep 2012 07:32:29 EST Tracking Food is Vital I know most successful dieters swear by tracking everything they eat and drink. <BR> <BR> I know this is good. And I always have good intentions. But never any follow-through. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, at the end of the day/night, I input everything I'd consumed during the course of the day. And - OMG! <BR> <BR> I had thought I was doing "pretty well", not too bad, etc.. <BR> <BR> Well, I consumed nearly 3000 calories. I am supposed to be consuming between 1200 and 1500. <BR> <BR> Huh. <BR... Tue, 18 Sep 2012 10:12:20 EST The Party is Over So, I indulged for the last 3 or 4 days. I had a good time. I drank too much beer and wine, but ate much better for the most part. Healthy, home-cooked meals. <BR> <BR> And now today I have to get back on track! <BR> <BR> I ran/walked 6.5 km this morning, even though I was very tempted to skip it. I told myself that I could just go for a walk, and if I felt like running a bit, that was ok. So - I got out! And ended up running at least as much, if not more, than I walked. <BR> <BR> I'm lis... Mon, 17 Sep 2012 10:53:14 EST Getaway I'm so glad that I found Spark People. Thank you to all who comment on my blog posts -it's very encouraging knowing I'm not alone. <BR> <BR> In happy news, I am away for a few days visiting my boyfriend who, since I moved away, now lives 250km away. <BR> <BR> I'm not going to beat myself up about my over indulgences the last 3 days. Not food so much as beer since we've gone out every night and will be out today too. <BR> <BR> However -I've been eating better foods -real food, not french f... Sat, 15 Sep 2012 10:08:13 EST Discouraged and Blue I'm posting just because I guess I should. <BR> <BR> I feel really crummy today - crummy about myself, my body, my lack of willpower. <BR> <BR> I've gained weight again, and now weigh more than I ever have in my life. I seem to be failing in all aspects of my life right now. I know it's not true, but here's one way I can put a spin on it: <BR> <BR> I am a 40 year old spinster, out of work and seemingly unhirable, living with my invalid mother... <BR> <BR> So - that does sound depressing,... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:19:34 EST Sudden Brain Wave - Stop Drinking to Lose Weight Here is another thing that I realize - if I totally quit drinking, I will, in all likelihood, lose weight. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I drank a bottle of wine, which usually satisfies, then ate a few (not a whole bag) of chips. <BR> <BR> Bad bad bad. I used to drink but not eat. Now I do both. <BR> <BR> So - the wine has got to go. I am sad about this because I've always enjoyed wine during my evenings. <BR> <BR> But that's 600 calories I do not need (obviously!) and it lowers my inhibitions re... Wed, 12 Sep 2012 06:43:17 EST Why I Gained 23 Pounds in 1.5 years So - really, I'd like to just prattle on about how I've gotten older after all, so of course weight would become an issue... I could blame my age; I could say that I've done everything to stay slim, but to no avail; I could blame the unfairness of the universe; <BR> <BR> These would all be lies. <BR> <BR> I have paid attention to some of my habits. Even when I think I am "depriving" myself and should be losing weight but am not losing weight - the truth is, I have had a HUGE lifestyle chan... Tue, 11 Sep 2012 18:07:48 EST