TRACY180's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=TRACY180 TRACY180's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Hmm, Sparkpeople has changed a lot while I was away! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5527489 I am back up to 173 which is about ten pounds from my starting point. GRRR. I decided to return to trying to track my food this week. Today, I tracked breakfast on Sparkpeople and most of yesterday's food in a notebook. <BR> Why did I decide to go back to trying again (and again...)? I discovered that I am having trouble wiping my butt in the bathroom. My fleshy butt and thighs interfere with my ability to reach down there. Sorry about being kind of gross but that is what caught my attention... Wed, 30 Oct 2013 13:55:25 EST Brag time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5423235 I have been feeling an odd feeling lately. It is called pride. I have been feeling proud of myself. <BR> My dad came to town earlier this month and gave me a used car. He also taught me the route to work and let me practice driving. I had not drove except for a little practice with my sister since 1998. Thanks to my dad and sister, I am able to drive to work, the laundry mat and to the grocery store. Walmart was scary for me to drive to but I did it! Today is my day off. So I went to a loc... Tue, 16 Jul 2013 16:11:44 EST When is spring coming? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5279407 My employer has a spring commercial about makeup on the loudspeaker. We also have the spring items out and on the shelves for sale. Is spring here? Corporate even sent orders to pack away the salt for melting snow! What did we do? We put up a display at the front of the store. I even saw some seed packages at a dollar store. Everywhere I look someone is trying to sell spring stuff even though spring is not here yet. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1221361323.jpg"> ... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 21:13:58 EST money rant http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5233435 I took money out of my saving account to pay the end of the month bills. But, I now have less than 20 dollars in my checking account. I will have to put my groceries on my credit card which already has around 30 dollars on it. <BR> I know that people say that money doesn't make a person happier. But, I think being able to go grocery shopping without worrying about the bill would make me happier. I think that owning a car so that I could drive to the store on a cold day like today rather... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 15:34:30 EST cravings and exercise http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5218658 i decided that I would try the January jumpstart challenge. I have been managing to do the exercise part but can't seem to get myself to count calories. One week, I was craving chips with cheese dip. Then last week, I craved peanut butter. I ate a whole sleeve of Ritz vegetable crackers with peanut butter while waiting for my pizza to cook. Then I had half of the pizza. I just had the last half for breakfast/lunch today. I had to crack up at the salt content! I didn't know there was ... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 13:04:05 EST I am hungry even though I just ate... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5019758 I decided to have a late lunch. I had a salad with carrots, grapes and raisins in it. I was in the mood for the ranch dressing today. Then I did something really weird. I had a microwave lazagne. I had almost never had a microwave meal without being on lunch at work or some other place from home. The lazagne had 300 calories in it. I had a glass of Crystal light with it and waited a while to see if the hunger would go away. (I should be satisfied but I am still feeling hungry.) I fin... Fri, 17 Aug 2012 17:17:39 EST food scent everywhere http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4824815 If I told you that I was looking at a product that said "Grandma's kitchen" with the words underneath "Pumpkin roll, Apple Crisp, Pecan Pie," I suspect you'd think I was looking at a food product. Maybe it is a spice that is used in these foods? <BR> No. i was looking at a scented candle. I went to a local store to find items that are made to smell like food that is not food. Here is some of the items that I found. <BR> Dish washing liquid: "Invigorating berry scent" <BR> ... Sat, 7 Apr 2012 17:42:32 EST fantasy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4815774 I wish I could climb a tree. The last time that I was consistently doing strength training, I never did seem to get much stronger. I think my arm muscles looked more defined but no better at pulling up to get into a tree. I don't know why I wish I could climb a tree except that I was jealous of those kids who could climb the rope in gym class. I was in track and cross country but I sucked at both. (I ran the slowest three mile, mile and half mile in the history of the world.) I suspect ... Sun, 1 Apr 2012 21:57:53 EST I need to count calories, but I get hungry all of the time... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4813911 I was trying to eat reasonably yesterday. <BR> Breakfast: yogurt with strawberries and banana <BR> a banana <BR> lunch: frozen meal and apple <BR> dinner: way too much spaghetti with chili and too much bread <BR> <BR> I got hungry at work around 10 AM and then was starving by the time that I got off of work yesterday. <BR> Today: <BR> Breakfast: 1 cup of Fiber one 80 <BR> probably more than 1 cup of almond milk <BR> 1 mini bagel ... Sat, 31 Mar 2012 17:50:44 EST disturbing dream http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4806764 I was having a disturbing dream just a little before my alarm went off this morning. I was looking for a doctor at a restaurant and found an eye doctor that I had seen earlier. He claimed that I had had a concussion. He was mad at me for not seeing a doctor more often. I started yelling about the price of doctors. Then I woke up and laid there thinking about the dream. <BR> I feel over while trying to get off my bike on Sunday of last week not this last Sunday. I hit my head but had m... Tue, 27 Mar 2012 07:29:22 EST I can ride a bike again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4789322 I rode my bike for at least an hour today. I can't remember exactly when I began. I practiced turning in a parking lot and then rode around the park. I still had to walk the bike the narrow parts of the paved path but I managed to do well for only my fourth or so try since childhood. I am now filtering some water to drink while I type this. I am so thirsty but soda doesn't work when I am very thirsty. I managed to remember that the breaks were on the handle bars the whole time. (No ba... Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:00:47 EST Caturday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4703912 I slept in for like forever today. When I finally got out of bed, I had the biggest grin on my face. I grinned all through the shower. I just love to sleep in. I am wondering if I should schedule one day a week to be the day that I live like my cat, sleep in and stay home all day. I fixed one of my drawers. It looks rather stupid because I couldn't get the handle back on. I just put the nail there as my handle. (I should have put the handle on and then nailed that board to the rest o... Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:31:33 EST dreams for 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4652392 I have been daydreaming about what I wish would happen in 2012. I hesitate to call these resolutions or goals because I will probably fail them as I usually do. <BR> 1. I want to get paid once for my writing this year. <BR> 2. Continue to expand viewership of my blog. <BR> 3. Interview one person and write about it on my other blog. <BR> 4. Lose thirty pounds in time for my 40th birthday. (I doubt that I will do this one even more than the others) <BR> 5. Post a picture a month on ... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 20:37:49 EST tricycles http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4523310 I have started pondering the idea of buying a tricycle. I don't know much about them. Is there anyone here that could tell me if they like riding a tricycle? Are they easy to ride to work? Grocery shopping? Can someone ride them during the winter? At night? How much stuff can you put in the basket that is on some tricycles? Do they fit on a regular bike rack if you need to leave it outside of the store? Thu, 6 Oct 2011 22:31:04 EST I walked a lot today! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4487157 I found one my state's bicycle trails and walked it for a long time. I wasn't able to map it to well because i was a little lost on how I found it. But, I took the route home and doubled it to account for walking out to that spot and got around 4.5 miles. I am pretty sure that I did more than that though. I am going to walk that trail some other days too. :) It was fun and pretty too. Thu, 15 Sep 2011 20:33:25 EST I hate to argue. (Warning: major whining.) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4479690 I hate to argue. The crying. The stingy eyes. The head ache after wards. The obsessing about it at work the next day. I hope I don't cry at work tomorrow. The worse part, I'm not sure why we argued. It was like she was waiting for the chance. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguing. I hate arguingI don't know how long it will take to get to sleep tonight. I... Sun, 11 Sep 2011 22:51:45 EST Summer challenge weekly progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4380195 I had a good week and a kind of bad week too. <BR> I managed to do 62 minutes of jogging around the block (very slowly) today. <BR> On the nutrition front, I managed to stay within calories for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. <BR> I managed to finish my dishes this week, washed the top of the stove and my microwave. Woo Hoo! <BR> Now for the negative of the week. I did little exercise outside of today. Reminder: I work at a drug store. I managed to get 12,000 steps in at work and by... Fri, 22 Jul 2011 22:43:52 EST three miles in 50 minutes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4347730 The last three miles that I walked/jogged, I did it in 55 minutes. Today, I managed to jog the whole time and shaved 5 minutes off my time. Can you tell that I am a very slow jogger? I can't imagine getting down to a 15 minute mile or something like that. I still can't believe that I managed to jog (very slowly) for the whole thing. I always thought my jog was only slightly faster than my fast walk. I see that I was right on that one. Is there any other ssllooow joggers out there? Ho... Thu, 7 Jul 2011 17:24:41 EST riding a bike for the first time...Again. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4322291 I haven't rode a bike since i was a little kid. After I managed to figure out how to pump up the tires. (I had to watch a wiki how video to figure out that the pump had a locking device on it.) I then hauled my bike down my steps and outside. I rode around the block with making only left turns at first. I managed to remember that the breaks is now in the handle and not in the peddles like when I was a kid. Then, I tried to ride around the block with right turns. I kept running into th... Sat, 25 Jun 2011 16:46:54 EST Weird dreams http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4048369 I had some of the weirdest dreams last night. In one, I was in a wheel chair. I have been in a wheel chair in previous dreams except that I could walk. I'd get up and walk perfectly normally and people would stare usually in my dreams. This one had a new twist. The person asked me about it and I said something about needing to ask "the peanut gallory" about that sometime since I didn't understand the explanation that the doctor had given me the first time. <BR> In another dream ... Fri, 25 Feb 2011 23:24:38 EST Sparkaversary http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3890069 I just checked to see when my sparkaversary was and it was yesterday the third. I am pleased that I have lost around 20 pounds since I joined SP. I have re-gained some which is why I am keeping it at around 20 instead of a little over 20. <BR> <BR> I am hoping to get some of my motivation back by trying out the January bootcsmp team/challenge. I am not sure if I will be able to stick with it. It wants five sessions of cardio each week. I don't know if I can do that. I had a little tr... Tue, 4 Jan 2011 20:08:24 EST 2010! Hopes for New year! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3877558 2010 was a mixed bag for me. I had some great times including the play that I was in, some new ideas for my church, blogging on blogger for the first time and writing a devotional for my church. Yet, I had some struggles with finances (they stink!) and had a new manager a few days ago. I have not figured out how to sell any of my pictures. I had hoped that I'd find a way to start working on that for 2010. I had hoped that my finances would get better in 2010 but I didn't look for a secon... Sat, 1 Jan 2011 16:30:44 EST whiny post http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3847632 I am in a very crappy mood. I hate that I seem to lose my brains when someone gets irritated with me. If someone communicates by body language or raising their voice that they are frustrated or irritated at me, I just seem to instinctly try to avoid all confrontation like the world will end if I have to deal with it. I sometimes wish that I was a little more sane than I am. Why do I avoid like the plague? Do I think the person is going to get violent or something? I know that I used to ... Thu, 16 Dec 2010 14:39:06 EST Plays and snow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3839878 I felt like I was going to blow away as I walked over to the theatre today. Church was canceled today due to the weather. We had over 200 tickets sold but not everyone made it to the show. I saw a sea of faces with some spaces here and there. <BR> Since we have a cast of forty people, a lot of the kids are assigned to the studio. The studio room was very cold today due to the weather. They were wearing jackets when they weren't in the show or changing their clothes. I don't kno... Sun, 12 Dec 2010 17:48:30 EST play and black http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3837749 I am enjoying the play a lot but there is something about spending the middle of the day in darkness. I can walk into the theatre around two o'clock and start to feel like it is 8 o'clock in no time. Black walls, black floor, darkness. It just messes up my sense of time. I have two performances today. I suspect I will be so lost as to what time it is. How does people stand to work in a mine, tunnel like the one that connects England with Europe etc? I just need to see some sun light ev... Sat, 11 Dec 2010 10:43:05 EST Opening night http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3822784 I am in a play at the local community theatre. Tonight was opening night. We had 60 people or so watching us. They seemed to laugh at the right moments and seemed to really enjoy the play. I heard a person commenting that they liked the character (Bumble from Rudolph for you Christmas classic fans) that I help to move out on stage. He looks like a white polar bear. <BR> I managed to say my line without a boo-boo! I was so happy when I did that. I think this may be a sign/hint tha... Fri, 3 Dec 2010 23:34:30 EST work rant and play stuff http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3822361 i had a few customers who really annoyed me today. One was complaining about having trouble entering her PIN for debit, then complained about me not being able to find an ink pin to sign when she agreed to do credit instead of fussing with the computer. Then a customer behind her started to complain about her holding up the line complaining. She seemed to try to pick a fight with him until I called a second checker. I am guessing that she was having a very bad day. The lady with her just... Fri, 3 Dec 2010 19:00:35 EST reearsal whine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3818716 Rehearsal was rather bad yesterday. A lot of the kids didn't make their entrance on a scene due to the volume level in the room that they are assigned to. They had a five minute intermission and failed to be back for the start of the next Act (or second section of the play). It felt weird to be trying to sing Carol of the Bells with half the cast not there. Also one person jumped some lines. So we missed one of the most memorable lines from the story: How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I w... Thu, 2 Dec 2010 07:40:42 EST Almost time for an audience http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3816774 I am finding rehearsal boring now. I am having to find little challenges like smile when I say my introduction and try to look more natural to keep my focus. I had fun trying to make my face reflect the emotions of the story during the Grinch scene last night too. I like when I get bored in rehearsals because it means that I have done it enough to be able to do it when very nervous. <BR> We have a scene where a big polar bear like thing dances. I think the audience will crack up whe... Wed, 1 Dec 2010 11:35:20 EST Play practice http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3807704 I am off from rehearsals for four days. Preview night is December 2nd and opening night is December 3rd. I made a tape of me singing the songs in the play. Since I can't read music, I sang with a recording that had music and singing. I am listening to my recording now. I might let you know what I think of it in a little bit.... <BR> Silent night: naselly if that is a word. I seem to be matching the singer. I think this would sound nicer if I could hit a slightly higher note with l... Fri, 26 Nov 2010 23:50:41 EST Bright lights! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3798041 We did our first run through of the play on the stage. Yesterday, John "spiked" the stage. (put tape where the props are going to go) The floor looks rather colorful with the different colored tape for different scenes. I think it glows in the dark too. HeHe! <BR> For one part, I introduce a scene. I have to have a spotlight on me. Are they always so bright that you can't hardly see? One person told me to look at the front seats. I responded that I can't see them with the light ... Sun, 21 Nov 2010 19:12:17 EST Singing Carol of the Bells http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3740370 I am having so much trouble learning to sing Carol of the Bells. It is fast, involves having the voice go up and down at prescribed parts and different parts for Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Base. I can get the melody at times but lose it at other times. I seem to sing it better at home rather than with the other people. I have so much trouble because I can't hear the other Sopranos on the quiet part. It also requires some high notes like Silent Night does too. I hope I get good enough to s... Mon, 25 Oct 2010 22:28:12 EST Lots of things http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3697404 I have had a lot of exciting things going on in my life lately. I will probably write a long entry today. <BR> I have been at my current job for seven years! I mentioned this to manager and she did my performance review that very day and put me in for a small pay raise. Yeah! I don't think I will make it to 133% of poverty level but every little bit counts. I found myself thinking that my job does take skills such as people skills. It is hard for me and other people to deal wit... Wed, 6 Oct 2010 18:00:51 EST Fall challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3670603 Today is the first day of the fall challenge. I am hoping that I can get under 150 pounds by the end of this challenge however, I don't know if I can. I seem to want to eat myself goofy in the evenings. I had a nice sized dinner and two English muffins with peanut butter on them tonight. Guess what? My stomach feels hungry again. Since it is almost time to go to bed, I won't eat anymore. I haven't been exercising much (except for work). I run a cash register and try to do other things... Sat, 25 Sep 2010 23:39:55 EST rejection http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3551546 I went to a job fair at a book store that my sister told me about. The lady told me that my "skills" don't match what they are looking for. They are looking for people with sales experience. I was shocked and surprised at first. Then I was angry but now I feel very rejected. Why am I reacting sssooo strongly to such a little thing? I have cried some already. I just felt so rejected and worthless earlier today. I have even fantasized about a world where one could get a job and keep it ... Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:28:59 EST new cat and new clothes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3506375 I was trying to add some pictures to my photo gallery but I can't seem to find the button to do that. So I will try to put them here. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l189312062.jpg"> <BR> <BR> My new cat's name is Puffers or Puff. A member of my church couldn't keep her any more, so I got her. She is very playful and curious. <BR> <BR> I bought a suit jacket at the local Goodwill. I am anxious to wear it but it is too hot right now. Here is a picture o... Thu, 5 Aug 2010 13:18:32 EST family fued (first time of trying to copy/paste on Spark People) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3396557 Let's Play Family Feud! <BR> <BR> Found this on TX.PATRICIA's blog. <BR> <BR> You are not allowed to use my answers ... you must use different ones!!! <BR> <BR> Remember, you can't use the same answers as the person who sent it to you.... <BR> <BR> 1. Name something you use in the shower? soap <BR> <BR> 2. Something people hate to find on their windshield? bird poop <BR> <BR> 3. Name something a man might buy before a date? mouth wash <BR> <BR> 4. What is something you cook in the micr... Sat, 3 Jul 2010 21:40:56 EST wireless internet and heat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3396531 It was so hot in my apartment because my air conditioner conked out a few days ago, that I wanted to step outside. I had gotten wireless internet a while back. So I decided to test my wireless connection. I am sitting outside of my apartment near the sidewalk while I type this. I couldn't get a connection behind my apartment or across the street from my apartment. I think this is so cool and rather futuristic to me. I may have to take a chair outside to play on the computer once and a w... Sat, 3 Jul 2010 21:30:15 EST driving anxiety part 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3369188 The driving instructor wants me to get out and practice driving with other people. I don't know if I can find someone. One person said he'd help if I could get access to a car. He suggested that I rent one. I don't know if I can do that. It would probably make me obsess about damages or scratching the car. <BR> What if I get comfortable driving and end up not being able to afford a car? I will try to ask my manager if she'd increase my hours if I re-learned how to drive and got a car.... Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:28:56 EST driving anxiety part 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3363165 I have a driving lesson today. I will be doing something that I haven't done in over ten years. I'm scared. I want to hide under my bed covers instead of go. Why am I so scared of driving? Wed, 23 Jun 2010 11:45:09 EST My other blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3340653 I started another blog. I have talked about the struggle of recently released prisoners and how I have integrated some of my counseling studies and Christianity. <BR> http://atojblog.blogspot.com Wed, 16 Jun 2010 13:09:56 EST Driving anxiety Part 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3324663 I have been thinking about why I want to learn how to drive again. Here are my reasons. <BR> 1. I would be able to do a lot of things that I can't do or find frustrating now. <BR> A. Grocery shopping would be easier. <BR> B. I could sleep in some more before work at times (bus comes ones and hour and drops me off a little after the hour). <BR> C. I could expand the area that I can walk around because I can drive to a different place to go for a walk or take pictures.... Fri, 11 Jun 2010 14:32:53 EST driving anxiety http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3318239 I am scared of driving. I want to re-learn how to drive. I called two driving schools. They both have private lessons that are one-on-one but it costs quite a bit. I might try calling some other places but it is embarrassing to admit to having a driver's license and a fear of driving. <BR> I have read of some people being scared of driving because of an accident that they were in but my fear seems to pre-date the start of my memories. I'm not sure on this because I don't remember feeli... Wed, 9 Jun 2010 16:52:45 EST Bucket list http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3294177 I just finished watching Bucket List. I cried at the end. I wrote up a list. <BR> 1. Encourage as many people as I can <BR> 2. Witness to others about God <BR> 3. Get married <BR> 4. Help others <BR> 5. Write a book <BR> 6. Have a kid <BR> 7. Fight the stigma of mental illness <BR> 8. Teach the word of God <BR> <BR> I think that I am doing a lot of these such as trying to encourage people at Church, work and SparkPeople. I helped to get a fellow c... Wed, 2 Jun 2010 20:11:58 EST my motivation melted http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3290836 I am so hot that I don't want to move again except to get cold food. Yogurt. Strawberries. Banana. Potato chips. I did okay all the way until tonight. I am so hot that I want to eat and not move. Whine. I might switching my air conditioner from fan to air condition but it doesn't work real well. Besides I hate when I see the bill if I go bizerk using air condition. It might increase my budget amount or something. Can I go sleep at the library or some where with a good air condition... Tue, 1 Jun 2010 22:47:45 EST Photography http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3233574 I have been wanting to find a way to make a little money on the side and share my love of photography. I want to find a good website where i can subscribe to it, post my pictures on it and sell them. I found one site that was referenced on the photo team that I am a part of but would like the thoughts of others on this idea. <BR> How do I know if a website and/or company is reputable before I try to subscribe to it? I doubt that better business bureau would have a list of reputable photo... Sat, 15 May 2010 22:02:28 EST DOG attack http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3216455 DOG is my acronym for my depression. It stands for <BR> D arn what does he/she think of me? <BR> O h, God, I hate my life. <BR> G ot to be perfect <BR> <BR> I have a new manager at work. She is only 26 years old. I felt like I was discovering that my new boss is a little girl. I can't understand how someone who possibly become a store manager when he/she is only 26. I mean I was running a cash register at a grocery store when she was probably 16 years old. <BR> I felt ... Mon, 10 May 2010 23:22:55 EST 163.8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3206836 I weigh around 163.8 pounds. I am sooo close to the obese line that I want to squeal. For a 5 foot 2 person, the obese line is 163 according to Spark People. I am so close. I hope I make it in a few days. <BR> I can tell sometimes that I am smaller in some areas. I sometimes catch myself in the mirror at work and notice that I don't look right. I just don't quite look like me. I have lost some weight somewhere on my body. I wish I could figure out which part of my body is producing ... Fri, 7 May 2010 23:36:22 EST mental health stigma http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3195689 I love my church and try the best that I can to let them know what I struggle with. I hope that this will help them to understand the struggles of people with mental health issues. We have a Bible study that meets at a nearby work release jail. We also give them rides to our church services if they want to come and are approved for the program by the department of Corrections. So, I know that we will have people at my church who struggle with mental health issues at times. I sometimes ge... Tue, 4 May 2010 23:04:40 EST I can do it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3169127 I took a long time to decide whether to try to lose weight or not. I felt that life would be pointless if I couldn't eat what I want in the amount that I want. I was also afraid that I would fail since I felt like I fail all of the time. (That DOG which is my nickname for my depression talking). <BR> DOG is a made up acronym which means <BR> Darn what does he/she think of me? <BR> Oh, God, I hate my life. <BR> Got to be perfect. <BR> <BR> I decided that I would try for... Tue, 27 Apr 2010 22:32:08 EST