TORN_EDGE's SparkPeople Blog TORN_EDGE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Active I need to get active on this wonderful site again. I have been stuck in the 190s for the last three months. I know that I need to track my food and exercise so that I can get lose that last 50 pounds. I once was very active on here and it's time to be that person again. Sun, 4 Jan 2015 10:10:38 EST Reflections I just spent twenty minutes on the treadmill doing my daily walk and thinking how much life just get a hold of a person. I was feeling very defeated and blah. Then I came on spark people to do my daily sparking and for some reason or another I decided to look at all the photos I have on here. What a wake up call that was to me. Here I am 224 pounds and to be totally honest I have never felt better in my entire life. For the first time I am pain free, no back pain, no knee pain, no should... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 22:32:45 EST Mind over matter So I thought I did really good last week, wait let me rephrase that I did really good last week. However my body is fighting it and the scale didn't move. This really frustrates me, why cant the scale change even a little a bit. I would have be happy with a pound heck I would have been happy with half a pound. Today was really hard for me cause all I wanted to do was binge on all the Christmas crap that I have in the house. Well and actually I did splurge on it and it put me over my cal... Fri, 13 Dec 2013 20:20:25 EST First Week A+++ It has been one week since a girlfriend and I decided that we needed to get healthy again. We have set goals. Hers are more long term then mine. I set three daily goals. I am super pumped to say I have met them all week. I went over calories twice, but lucky me that wasn't one of my goals. My goals were and still are to walk at least a mile a day, drink at least 8 glasses of water, and meet my protein needs for the day. At the start of my week it involved lots of protein shakes but I g... Thu, 12 Dec 2013 22:20:14 EST Life update 2013 Cant believe it has been a year since I have been on Spark. So much as happened, I don't even know where to start. So on that note I will start with today because the past is the past and there is nothing anyone can change about it. <BR> <BR> I am a 33 year old mother of 2 and wife to a shift worker. My husband I have our ups and downs but that is what marriage is. My daughter is & she is fit, healthy and smart, oh and is the most beautiful inside and out that I know. My son is 4 and al... Mon, 9 Dec 2013 22:45:45 EST Rant First I will rant and then I will talk. i am sorry if I get long winded it is just one of those days. My girlfriend and her son came out yesterday for supper and a sleepover. Krista and I have been friends almost 20 years which is totally crazy to me. We had a great night and a great talk. Today I went to her place and we did some of her house work and then went to the book store. I came home with my two kids to what I was hoping for was a happy husband he had worked a night shift and ... Sun, 10 Jun 2012 23:53:25 EST Mounted Shooting So you may ask what exactly is mounted shooting. <BR> <BR> Well what I do is while riding my horse I shoot a .45 single action long colt at 10 targets in as fast as I can. <BR> <BR> There is a dress code while doing this which includes jeans, a long sleeve button up shirt, chinks or chaps, a western hat, and all you tack including holsters must be made of leather. Not to mention the two .45 single action long colt guns. <BR> <BR> As of today I have all equipment. <BR> My horse is co... Wed, 2 May 2012 20:10:29 EST Life It has been a long year. I have had several injurys, ups and downs in my health and well i could go on and on with the excuses and well I am not. <BR> <BR> My husband and I are renewing our wedding vows this summer and I found a great dress and would love to look toned in it cause I already look great in it. <BR> <BR> I have gained 30 pounds in the last year, but with that 30 pounds came lots of feelings, some of hate for myself and some disgust some of blame, however the one thing I have ... Tue, 1 May 2012 21:34:23 EST Ride Went riding tonight with a great friend. It was a good ride my gelding is coming along real good on barrels. I love the feeling of a horse running as fast as he can with me on his back. I cant wai t to see what he can do when I lose more weight. Wed, 22 Jun 2011 22:23:48 EST New start I have had a very stressful couple of months. A trip to the in laws, rescuing horses, a foal born and a husband who picked up a bad attitude from his dad. I have gained 15 pounds. which is so gross but I refuse to get new clothes. I will lose it and all will be good. I thought it was a bad day but after tracking I am very happy with myself. I was only 300 cal over on my intake which I thought was going to be way higher. A big plus is that the huge rain storm has totally bypassed us so I... Tue, 21 Jun 2011 20:53:42 EST Walmart I had a wonderful little trip to walmart today. I had a cart full of misc. stuff, son sitting in the front of the cart. Then out of nowhere this really good looking man approaches me and says <BR> " You are a single mother who looks like she needs a coffee" <BR> I reply <BR> " I am not a single mother but I could use a coffee" <BR> " Since you are married I will just let you be as I intended to take you for more than one coffee." <BR> " Thank you. I think?" <BR> " Your husband is a very lu... Tue, 29 Mar 2011 21:04:49 EST Just talking I am feeling a little lost no longer being the team leader for team saskatchewan. It had become such a habit to get up and get ont he computer and look at my team read blogs check pages and check back several times a day. I must say this weekend has bee wonderful, it was nice to get up eat and go about my day with things that need to be done and not feel like I was letting someone down. I took my postion as team leader very personal and was always trying to do a better job and always tryin... Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:11:26 EST ME Things have been super busy for me here. My business has become really busy and I am finding it hard to get on the comp to do anything other than work stuff. I joined WW this week and had great results and an hopiong this is the shock my body needed to get out of this plateau. With how good my business is doing and an up coming spring with horses to ride, gfardens to plant and many other things on my calander it is with mix emotions that I will be stepping down as Team Saskatchewan co lead... Mon, 21 Mar 2011 23:04:11 EST 20 pounds I have set a goal of losing 20 pounds in the next 2 months. My sister in law is getting married May 7th and I want to wow my inlaws. Most of my inlaws have not seen me in 2 years or longer. which means 80 pounds ago. <BR> <BR> 20 pounds is lots and more than I have done in a long time but I think that with the support of friends and my will power I will beable to do it Mon, 28 Feb 2011 21:56:11 EST dreaded before pics So I made a team challenge for he month to take before pics adn what kind of leader would I be if I didn't do then too. SoI took the pics at the start of the month and have finally worked up the courage to post them. These are actually more of a mid way pic for me. I am about 80 pounds down when these pics were done only 60 more to go. <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Mon, 21 Feb 2011 17:37:45 EST Eating This is the week that I usual stuff anything I can find into my mouth. Some of you women might understand what I am going through. However I planned ahead this time and well there is nothing unhealthy in the house just lots of fruit and veggies. I am not going to let this week get me down. Mon, 7 Feb 2011 22:27:18 EST Boot camp 6 Some of these you will have no clue what they are if you really want to know then send me a message and I will try and explain it. <BR> <BR> Session #6/10: workout <BR> Warm-up: 5 laps, 1 length of walking toe taps, 1 length of butt kicks, 1 length high knees, 1 length of sprinting <BR> <BR> <BR> A) 100 skipping rotations ...... 50 laying toe reaches ... 10 frog push-up ... SPRINT BACK (x3) <BR> B) 150 rotations ... 50 horizontal thrusters ... wall sit (100 leg lifts total) ..... Thu, 3 Feb 2011 21:50:55 EST Boot camp #5 So this was work out number five. As the workouts look increasingly harder they dont seem that much harder. I am very shocked at what I can do now compared to what I did before. <BR> <BR> I hope you are trying some of these exercises and like I was telling a girlfriend tonight I am not sure what I like more about cootcamp the great workout or the time away from home. <BR> <BR> Warm-up: 10 laps, 10 squats, 10 push-ups, 10 lunges/leg <BR> <BR> 100 squats/100 skipping rotations <BR> <BR> 9... Wed, 2 Feb 2011 21:59:38 EST Kids I must start this off with saying I love my kids with all my heart and would not trade them for the world. <BR> <BR> With that being said i was ready to sell them today. I think with all the cold weather we are all getting a bit of cabin fever. With temps being in the -40's this week there has not been any outside time and then to add fuel to the fire my 4 year old had a cold for a couple of days. Today was the day the the straw broke the camels back. My daughter is well enough to return... Tue, 1 Feb 2011 23:01:49 EST What a day Today was a good day. It started off great 3 pounds down. Then the rest of the day was just a plain day nothing exciting. Did some quilting and normal everyday stuff. Then boot camp came and it kicked my arse adn it felt freaking wonderful. Had a good day hope you did to Mon, 31 Jan 2011 22:22:22 EST One Quilt down, Two to go So today I finished a quilt that will be going on display at my favorite quilting shop. I am so excited to have a life size business card out there. <BR> <BR> The store picked out several patterns and then the rest was up to me. The quilt I made is one that looks likeit has curves in it but there are none. I had my choice of fabric in the store. I love bright fabrics so these are my choices. enjoy the pics. <img src=""> <BR> <img ... Sun, 30 Jan 2011 22:09:54 EST ME I have had a really good day and thanks to an old firend I have relized some things. Like <BR> I have a nice body shape once you take away the tummy fat. <BR> I am a nice person <BR> I am a talented person <BR> I am healthy <BR> I am active <BR> I am worthy <BR> I am a good friend <BR> I have become a strong woman <BR> <BR> The all seem little if you look at them one at a time but together they are huge and it is amazing how far I have come and I look forward to the future, seeing the c... Sat, 29 Jan 2011 23:08:38 EST Great People I have been blessed to have a great support team. I have people that I have met on this site that have changed my life. I have not met face to face with these wonderful people, but some day I hope to. I dont have the most supportive family and love that I can come onto SP and see a goodie or a smilie face that makes me feel good. Even when I am having a slump and am stuck in a rut there are my spark friends that hold my hand and help me climb out. This journey would have ended long ago w... Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:52:18 EST Keep it real I have started an email group with some people who are helping to keep me opn track. i send these people every two weeks with goals and things that I have accompished. I have done this once before and it was great for me. Sometimes they reply back and sometimes they dont. Mon, 24 Jan 2011 21:08:33 EST Boot camp 4 I am really enjoying boot camp. the pain that it brings is a good kind of pain I am just hoping that I start to see some results soon. <BR> <BR> <BR> Warm-up: 20 squats/100 mountain climbers/1 length of walking toe taps/1 length of side plank walk <BR> <BR> Group #1: alternate leg touches (30 seconds on/10 seconds off x 10) <BR> <BR> Group #2: fast toe taps on risers <BR> <BR> Group #3: 1 arm kettle-bell swing <BR> <BR> Group #4: Squat and medicine ball toss <BR> <BR> ** 10 second hig... Wed, 19 Jan 2011 22:47:07 EST Boot camp 3 I know it is late but here is last wed. boot camp workout we had no instructor as the weather was bad but she did email a workout so here it is. Give it a try and work those muscles <BR> <BR> <BR> Your workout for tonight: <BR> ** warm up - basketball game, 30 squats, 30 lunges, 30 wall jumps (squat jumps), 30 push-ups, 30 crunches <BR> <BR> ** YOU WILL REPEAT THIS WORK-OUT 10 times <BR> <BR> 10 sittups <BR> 10 skull crusher (1 dumbbell) <BR> 10 push-ups <BR> 10 squats <BR> 2 laps of ru... Mon, 17 Jan 2011 22:33:13 EST Boot Camp session 2 Warm up with a basket ball game to 10. It got kinda interesting this week as several glasses got knock off and my nose ring was pulled out. <BR> 30 squats <BR> 50 lunges ( 25 each leg) <BR> 50 mountain climbers <BR> grape vine length of gym <BR> toe touches length of gym <BR> <BR> now onto the workout. The instructor called it the TABATA workout. I call it hell. <BR> <BR> it was a circuit you were at each station for 8 counts. 1 count was 30 seconds work 10 seconds. That was round one r... Tue, 11 Jan 2011 20:11:51 EST Boot camp details I was a little worried about bootcamp once the day actually came. I was told that on the first night you had to do a fitness test. I had decided that I want to do this test in 30 minutes or less. <BR> <BR> When I got there it was a blast from the past some teachers I use to have and parents of people I went to school with. This made me feel weird here I am younger than them and no where near as fit as them. Then they start complaining about how hard it was going to be. <BR> <BR> Warm ... Fri, 7 Jan 2011 08:25:45 EST Boot Camp Kinda freaking out. I start a boot camp tonioght ad you have to do a fitness test at he start. I think this will bw a huge wake up call as to how out of shape I am. I do my treadmill 4 to 5 times a week but I really slack on the ST so I could be hurting tomorrow. I will let everyone know how it goes. Wed, 5 Jan 2011 14:45:13 EST What's in a name I have been thinking about my sparkname lots. I think it is kinda boring. Sure it lets everyone know my name but that is about it. There are those that that use their name to express where they are in life or wherer they want to be. It could be a nice name or just something for fun. <BR> <BR> I use to be saskomit. Get it the Omit that lives in Saskatchewan. I guess I don't have much of an imagination. <BR> <BR> I think the name is going to change and for some it is going to throw the... Mon, 3 Jan 2011 19:43:59 EST What's in a name I have been thinking about my sparkname lots. I think it is kinda boring. Sure it lets everyone know my name but that is about it. There are those that that use their name to express where they are in life or wherer they want to be. It could be a nice name or just something for fun. <BR> <BR> I use to be saskomit. Get it the Omit that lives in Saskatchewan. I guess I don't have much of an imagination. <BR> <BR> I think the name is going to change and for some it is going to throw the... Mon, 3 Jan 2011 19:43:33 EST Doctor So today was my annual physical and in all truth it has been about 2 years since i have been. Blood pressure was great and doc was also very happy about the 70 pound weight loss. The reg test have been sent away and will only hear back if something is not normal. When talking about my depression he wants me to up my vit d and calcium and then see him again in a month. If I feel that it is getting worse I am to go back ASAP. <BR> <BR> He wants me to up my cardio to 6 days a week and try a... Tue, 28 Dec 2010 20:52:57 EST The food has just begun Most people are happy that christmas is over. I for one still have two weeks of insanity left. I have 6 birthdays in the next two weeks. <BR> <BR> I have remained fairly healthy over christmas and I plan on keeping up with it. Including no cake on my birthday on the 14. If any one has any ideas for healthy options for a 2 year olds birthday please let me know <BR> <BR> I have been working on the couch to 5km even over the christmas. Today I did my first 20 min run and it felt great. <... Sun, 26 Dec 2010 23:08:12 EST Belly Laugh My husband is a well built man and I thought in good shape. Well when I went to do my workout on the treadmill it was not working proplerly so he came in to fix it. Well there was just a toy under it so that was an easy fix. My husband had to make sure that it was working so he got on and started walking at 1.7. Now I am 5'4" and he is 5'10". He looks at me and says I dont know why you sweat so much when you are on here. so I sped the treadmill up to 3.5 which is what I use for my walk ... Sun, 19 Dec 2010 21:57:28 EST My New Space ( with photos) Yesterday I said I would give my workout/toy room a mini makeover to make it feel like my space and to help me reach my goals. I want to do it all day but with the kids awake it was not going to happen so as soon as they were in their beds I began. So to start you off the before pics <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=" Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:03:50 EST My Space So most people would say that my space is my sewing/quilting room. To some point it is but it is also my work. I am very lucky and I love my work so I do it as a pastime as well. However tonight as I was running on the treadmill looking at the wood panel wall. This is my space, this is where I feel good. But I do not like looking at a plan ugly poorly done panel wall. So my goal for the next week is to make the top half of the wall my motivation board. I share the room with my kids to... Fri, 17 Dec 2010 22:00:02 EST no motivation I have no motivation to do anything. I want to but there is part of me stopping me and I am not sure what to do to get past it Fri, 10 Dec 2010 22:59:37 EST Gus January of 2010 my husband bought me a miniature dachshund for my 30th birthday. He is the most beautiful little dog. I grew up with a dachshund and really wanted another one so was super happy when he bought me one. <BR> <BR> Gus is a male grey dapple mini dachshund and he has been so good with the kids, he was easy to house train and he has been good with all the livestock. That was up until yesterday. All of a sudden out of no where he is becoming very dominate and aggressive he has o... Wed, 8 Dec 2010 15:34:49 EST Moving forward I have been at a stand still for a couple of months and today when I got on the scale it was 2 pounds from 2 weeks ago. It was a slap in the face cause the I saw 200 on the screen again. Not impressed with myself. So today I started over again. Was doing great til I was tempted by great grandmas butter tarts but they are tracked and I am starting over. Not tomorrow but right now. The best time to start over is right away. I felt so good when I hit onederland and I will keep going. I ... Mon, 6 Dec 2010 15:17:20 EST Just another day Today was just another day. I did lots and got lots done. but nothing that was life changing. I ate like crap all day but we all have to live and tomorrow is a new day. I was up late haveing fun with the hubby <em>211</em> so I slept in a til 630 instead of getting up at 530 to run. I will get a ruin in tomorrow no excuses. Got a couple of quilting jobs tonight so I have lots to keep me busy over the next while Wed, 24 Nov 2010 22:33:29 EST Muah haha Muah haha. That is my evil laugh. Why an evil laugh, because I feel freaking great. I was a little sore still from my run yesterday but feeling good. No organized exercise today but did so major sweat breeaking house cleaning. i just want to keep repeating how freaking great I feel. <em>334</em> <em>236</em> <em>104</em> Tue, 23 Nov 2010 22:41:43 EST Watch out I am on a mission. <BR> <BR> It took me reaching a low spot but wow are my eyes ever open now. <BR> <BR> I have been dealing with depression on and off for 4 years now and can tell when it is starting to really affect me, however this time I thought I could handle it myself and didn't ask for help or tell anyone what was going on. well to say the least I couldn't handle it on my own. Lesson learned. <BR> <BR> Today was a kick a$$ good day. I got up feeling fat but motivated. As soon... Mon, 22 Nov 2010 22:23:16 EST Unhappy Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I started the day by feeling fat and told my dh that I felt that way. We headed to north battleford to get a new trailer only to arrive and find the dealership closed. Disappointing but such is life. <BR> When we got home my DH who is usually distant and non affectionate could not keep his hands off me. Most would think that this would be a good thing but it is very frustrating for me because when I am at my worst( feeling fat, unmotivated, an... Sun, 21 Nov 2010 15:11:37 EST 6'4" I have been working at losing weight for more years than I can remember. My first thought of being over weight is when I was about 10 amnd my mom took me to the Dr. I remember the doc saying well as long as she gains no more weight she sould grow into her fat. That is when the prob started. <BR> <BR> I have been sucessful in my weight loss for the first time dropping over 70 llbs since dec 31, 2008. It has been a long slow process, but so much easier than the other option. <BR> <BR> You... Tue, 12 Oct 2010 09:06:41 EST LIFE Life is so precious. We have recently lost a friend. He went in for some simple surgry and then things went bad. He ended up going septic and passing away within 24 hours. This man is leaving behind a wife three kids and their spouses and many grandchildren. He was like a second day to my husband. This has made me really look at my life and think about what I want to be know for and remember for. This is a huge wake up to how short life really is. <BR> <BR> Live each moment like it is... Wed, 6 Oct 2010 22:34:19 EST Horseback Riding I went for two amazing horseback rides today. One was on a three year. I think it was about her 10th ride the first time i was on her. I have to say to get on something that I had no clue what she was going to do adn that was a rush. Being lighter not that I am light by any standards made it so much easier to do things. Like getting my foot in the stirrup and pulling myself up into the saddle. I really enjoyed riding this mare and can't wait to get on her again. <BR> The next ride was... Sun, 3 Oct 2010 21:57:24 EST October here we come. A new month is here and I can't wait to enjoy every moment. October is my fav month. Beautiful colors, Thanksgiving ( I'm in canada) and halloween. Oh and you can't forget the great fall cooking, apples, pears, and sweet potatoes. <BR> <BR> It was a year ago this month that I got serious with spark again and since then have lost about <BR> 35 ish pounds. Not only that but I feel like a whole new women. I have lost a total of 77 pounds since December 31, 2008. I am hoping to hit 100 po... Fri, 1 Oct 2010 17:02:08 EST birthday cake It is me daughters 4th birthday today. We let her pick out what was for supper so of course she picked mac and cheese. After supper it was time for cake and my daughter started to cry because she wanted me to have cake. How do you tell a 4 year old thta mommy dosen't want cake because she ate mac and cheese. Well I was able to change the subject and convinced her to go horseback riding instead. Daughter was happy because she had a date with mommy on her birthday. <BR> <BR> However that... Mon, 27 Sep 2010 22:10:37 EST No name I had a good day today. We went to church as a family this morning I had a great visit with some of the other moms in the nursery as my son was having no part of sitting in church. However that means I have to stay in the nursery as he is kinda the worlds biggest mommies boy. I use to get mad about sitting in the nursery each sunday but I am looking at it very different now this is a time for me to meet moms from the church. <BR> <BR> Came home and had late lunch followed by making cup... Sun, 26 Sep 2010 23:15:22 EST Team Leader I have been the team leader of Team Saskatchewan for just about a month now. I love it. I love thinking of challanges, motivating others and supporting my team mates. <BR> <BR> However I am finding it hard ot concentrate on me. I don't remember the last time I journaled my food, my exercise has been lacking and well i just don't feel motivated to do anything. The colder weather has not been helping and it is scaring me. I have a history of depression, it seems to sneak up on me in the... Sat, 25 Sep 2010 22:34:55 EST