TLEVENTER's SparkPeople Blog TLEVENTER's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Back on the Me Wagon I've been ignoring my SparkPeople. So many things have been happening that I thought something had to give... so that was it. I'm back now... ready to commit to me with a few tools to keep me from going insane. So what's new with me? <BR> <BR> * Serenity Valley Farm is going well. Improvements are slower than I'd like or anticipate but they ARE happening. Just posted our 2018 schedule on FB and it includes 4 shows and 1 clinic (so far). there are 10 horses that call the farm home and wh... Wed, 10 Jan 2018 10:40:17 EST I shouldn't have looked Need a place to vent this or I'm not going to have a good day. Sorry. <BR> <BR> Back in December it seemed things were on again with Thom. I went to his place to meet him to go to dinner and he was talking about the upcoming escape with his daughter (road trip to Florida over NYE weekend). I said I had a crazy idea...he said "do you want to come with us?" Kind of shocked me as that was not what I had in mind. I didn't really have the vacation time to take the extra days for the drive but ... Tue, 24 May 2016 08:40:46 EST Emptying my brain I was talking to a friend (Ron) last night about this and that at the farm -- projects that are on the radar and the order that they need to be done, etc. More things kept being brought up and as I was thinking about this after he left and again this morning, while trying to get things accomplished, I feel like there are SO many things that need to get done or that I would LIKE to get done/to do, I'm getting overwhelmed. And my first reaction to being overwhelmed like that is to find a good... Tue, 13 Oct 2015 12:31:14 EST Back to Square One Warning: this is a personal rant... a typed stream of thoughts that may or may not make any sense... and has nothing to do with fitness or weight loss. You've been warned. <BR> <BR> Here's the thing, I know a lot of people... but I don't ever feel like I have that many friends. And when it comes to discussing X/BF, even fewer that I can go to. None really... everyone has their own lives and their own families and problems and no one really wants to hear about the issues (again) that I'm h... Wed, 23 Sep 2015 13:54:33 EST Our weekend in pics Octoberfest Horse Trials - Lexington, KY <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Tue, 28 Oct 2014 13:06:02 EST Run The Bluegrass Half Marathon -more pics! with the exception of the final picture in this blog, all pics were taken by the official Run The Bluegrass race photographer, J.A. Laub Photography of Lexington, Kentucky, and I purchased digital download rights to all my pics with my race entry. <BR> <BR> <BR> STARTING!! (notice how dry we look... that doesn't last)... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 13:32:22 EST Recap - My Run The Bluegrass Half Marathon Experience! My friend Amber is nuts. She did 3 training runs a couple years ago (5.5, 8.5 and 12.5) then did a 50K trail race. She’s also taken a course in bull riding. So you now understand. But we’ve known each other for almost 30 years and she’s an amazing person. She’d gotten way more into running than I have as she’s planning her first marathon this fall. A couple months ago she pointed out to me how cool the Run The Bluegrass Half Marathon finish medals were… and I ended up signing up for the ... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 12:55:45 EST Milestones and other 4 weeks from this Saturday I'll be competing in my first Half Marathon. EEK! Yep, I signed up for it. Kind of freaking out, but I'll be ok. I've started walking upstairs (since it's cold again) while I try to get new shoes. I'm on pair #3 and the store has been great at exchanging them. Figures the most expensive pair to date (by $50) is the one that seems to be fitting (not to mention the ugliest... I swear they're the orange color of the sparkpeople buttons that I'm seeing in this comp... Wed, 26 Feb 2014 12:19:01 EST Am I crazy? Ok, so those who know me already know that I definitely have crazy in me. But an.... opportunity?... to showcase the crazy has come up and it has me wondering. <BR> <BR> I also have crazy friends. One in particular. We've been friends since we were working together at McDonald's. I started March 86. She started in July 86. We lost touch for about 8 years at one point, but she's still a very good friend. In the last couple years we've done several 5Ks and 5mile races together. SHE is ... Wed, 12 Feb 2014 09:35:22 EST Comparison - Old vs New A couple people have asked if I have pictures for comparison of the current (aka old) farm and the new one I'm looking to buy. This is as good as I can get. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Current location. 3.788 Acres. 300' of road frontage total. Had an option to purchase more land, but that fell through when XH left and took his income. Current owner won't split off what I could afford so that's a dead end for me. Also tried t... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 15:26:13 EST Getting it out There are times when I think something or feel something but until I verbalize it, it just rattles around in my head... something that's just there but not there enough to face. You either let it out and face it, whatever that may mean... or you keep it in, and it just keeps rattling. Time to let it out. <BR> <BR> I've been trying to put together a deal to buy a new farm. Financially it means selling my current farm. I've been approved for the accepted offer amount, but the biggest hurdl... Mon, 11 Nov 2013 13:36:29 EST "Don't Come in Last" Today I participated in the Lake Loramie Triathlon (canoe/bike/run). Have a few thoughts that I wanted to write down. <BR> <BR> This was my second triathlon. Due to a planned vacation, I ended up doing this one solo. The official results have me finishing at 2:59:06 overall. Which put me in LAST of the Solo division (15th of 15) and LAST of everyone who finished (there were 2 of the 111 participants that didn't finish). <BR> <BR> I'm competitive. I always have been. So don't take this next... Sun, 25 Aug 2013 22:30:09 EST Emergency Contact Info This is something that has been bugging me for a while. So pardon me if I vent a bit. <BR> <BR> So many things/places in life, we need to have emergency contact information... someone other than ourselves that people can contact in case something happens to us. Right? For me, competing in the sport I do (eventing... aka equestrian triathlon) it's so important that one of the rules of the sport is that when jumping you MUST have a medical armband on. This is a sheet of paper with the pert... Tue, 20 Aug 2013 10:14:58 EST "WHAT?" Blog post encouraged by weekend challenge (thus the title). <BR> <BR> What's on my mind? Ugh! <BR> <BR> 1) The weekend didn't quite go as planned and while it wasn't "bad", I'm left with that blah feeling of wanting a redo. Had a dressage lesson on Friday, kind of a last minute setup. It actually did go really well. Saturday I packed up Shirley along with Ella an dher horse Thumper and drove to Indiana for 1 day of a cross country clinic (Ella can't do Sundays and I'm out of town this c... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 09:52:02 EST My First Tri This past weekend I competed in my first triathlon. Normally, that would mean swimming, running and biking. This one was a bit different. Instead of swimming we were in canoes/kayaks. And this was a team event. A very good (very insane) friend of mine competed with me in the Female Master category (our combined ages > 80). Our goal was simple... have a good time and finish. <BR> <BR> We did it!! Amber is a better runner than I am, having been doing 5Ks and 10Ks most of the summer wher... Mon, 15 Jul 2013 16:21:28 EST Dance like no one is watching, love like you've never been hurt I started to write this as a team post but it got too long and philosophically rambly... so I'm copying it here. <BR> <BR> I'm in a weird place today. I guess that's what happens when you wake up to find someone you knew through sport has died in an accident. I didn't know her very well. Just remember glimpses from 10+ years ago when I was more involved. Don't think I've ever heard anyone talk badly about her. She died yesterday in a riding accident. Not 100% sure what happened as no o... Thu, 11 Jul 2013 10:24:31 EST BLC 22 begins BLC 22 begins today. I'm up a couple pounds from almost 60 days ago when round 21 ended. Not that I didn't expect it. I wasn't blogging. I wasn't tracking. I ate like crap more often than I should. And though I was riding, I know it's not enough. Plus I had a week plus that I didn't do much of anything but stretching as my back was wonky. So... new round... new goals? Sure!! <BR> <BR> Goals for the round: <BR> 1) 12 pounds -- that's only 1 pound per week and is a MINIMUM. I'd love ... Wed, 5 Jun 2013 16:21:33 EST Finding Motivation in the oddest places I'll be the first to admit that my motivation comes and goes. It's a large part of why I've been stuck in this 180-185 range for over a year. Intellectually, I know what to do. But then I slip... and a small slip becomes a "why not"... and a "why not" becomes "who cares" and the cycle starts all over. <BR> <BR> I see myself differently in my mind's eye than what is shown to me in mirrors and pictures. I have for quite a few years. I know I'm getting older and I can't fight that. But ... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 11:24:06 EST Next up... March February wasn't bad, for February. The weather sucked... but we were able to get Shirley over to Jen's a couple times and she's progressing beautifully. Spider was hurt... but the vet liked her progress. I lost 2 pounds through the month... not great, but I'll certainly take the loss! I started my online Equine Nutrition course and though I'm a week behind, it's going wonderfully. I haven't been using my "Good Things" jar at home as much as I should be... but going to make an effort to re... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 11:24:34 EST The Perks of Being A Wallflower Rented this movie this weekend -- it was cheaper than driving to town and going to a movie. It was good. I enjoyed it and thought the cast was quite good, especially Emma Watson. This morning, I find myself remembering a line from it -- "We settle for the love we think we deserve." I think I understand what it means, but at the moment I'm having trouble figuring out how it applies. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it does and my brain is just to frazzled to understand... or my heart to hurt to p... Mon, 18 Feb 2013 12:33:27 EST How to deal with a wedding?? The blog title? Yeah.. it's a real question that I don't have the answer for. <BR> <BR> Had a rough night last night. Talking to a very good friend online. We’ve grown apart in the last few years, but still good friends. She lives 2 hrs from me. Things are going great for her and I’m really really happy about that. She deserves it. Over the holidays, her BF proposed. They’ve decided to rush the actual wedding by doing a very small (family and close friends only) ceremony on March 16t... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 10:27:26 EST Playing Games Just a blog post to add some points to the Board Games Week challenge: <BR> <BR> Battleship: <BR> CI 1586 <BR> Base 1565 <BR> CO 439 <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Scrabble: <BR> Had a good ride on Noble tonight and Spi is looking pretty good. Got her out and lunged her a bit before changing the wrap on her foot. Hopefully it will all work itself out. <BR> <BR> Had a rough weekend. Old memories. 2 years now since all hell arrived at my doorstep... or rather, hell moved in when h... Mon, 4 Feb 2013 21:34:03 EST No Spend January – Week 4 and Final Results & Lessons Week 4 spending included: <BR> Snacks/Dining Out -- $7.20 <BR> Gas - $88.82 <BR> Groceries – $37.46 <BR> Personal/Health/Entertainment -- $2.13 <BR> <BR> Total spent = $135.61 <BR> <BR> Yeah, that’s a “little” over the $40 I had to spend this week… even with the added $2 I “found”. I know. Obviously through this whole exercise, I WAY underestimated what I needed for gas. If I take the gas cost out of the equation completely, it’s a little better at a total of $46.79… which then only puts... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 16:06:54 EST Week 3 recap - No Spend January Amount started: $40.85 <BR> <BR> Spent: $39.82* <BR> <BR> $0.45 on another stamp (which in the end I didn’t need as they had included a prepaid envelope… oops) <BR> $1.25 on snacks/drink at work <BR> $3.65 on Starbucks <BR> $34.47 on groceries at Kroger <BR> <BR> Week end total: + $1.03* <BR> <BR> The week didn’t go too hateful. I said no to 2 requests for going out to eat. Both were just “hey, do you wanna…” spur of the moment kinds of things. Thanks but I’m really trying to do this. ... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:01:45 EST No Spend January - Week 2 Recap Amount started: $50.39 <BR> <BR> Spent: <BR> $0.45 – stamp for a letter <BR> $42.11 – gas <BR> $6.98 – food <BR> <BR> “leftover”: $0.85 <BR> <BR> This week was a challenge, mostly in terms of gas money. I ended up finding some money in a pocket and I did add that to the gas I put in on Saturday as I headed to a meeting on the other side of town (expenses for the meeting were not to be included in No Spend... an additional $27.89 in gas). As a result I start Week 3 with just shy of ½ tank... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:09:46 EST No Spend January – Week 1 Recap: Overall, I think the week went well. There are a couple things I could have done better and a couple issues I see on the horizon that may cause a problem. Here’s the recap of the week. <BR> <BR> Overall, I spent $30.42. $16.17 was on groceries – bananas, 2 cans of pumpkin that were on sale (25 cents each), orange juice, cheese, frozen strawberries (on sale, used for my morning smoothies), and 2 pie crusts that I plan to use to make quiche in the next couple days (something that uses the e... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 11:09:00 EST No Spend January It's a new year. I'm doing pretty well on my budgetting and paying off my debts (Dave Ramsey's Baby Step #2). I have 4 non-mortgage debts left: <BR> <BR> * My parents. They loaned me some money a long time ago to help consolidate bills but before I finished paying them off, they re-loaned me some money to help make the downpayment on the farm. Technically I guess this is mortgage debt, but I'm not treating it like that. This also the smallest balance... so it's the next to go. However,... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 14:03:12 EST 12-12-12 for Tuesday: <BR> CI: 2001 (yucky late snacks... should have just gone to bed) <BR> BMR: 1565 <BR> CO: 208 -- walked 2 miles at work plus 15 wall pushups in the AM <BR> <BR> Total: +228 <BR> <BR> I know exactly what I need to work on... staying busy and NOT snacking! <BR> <BR> In other news, somehow despite the icky food choices, I lose weight this week. Less than a pound, but a loss is a loss and I'll take it. Makes me wonder how much I could lose if I kept up the consistent exercise AN... Wed, 12 Dec 2012 11:33:32 EST New Week CICO for Monday: <BR> CI: 2024 <BR> BMR: 1565 <BR> CO: 188 – 2 miles of walking at work <BR> Total: +271 <BR> <BR> I was only 100 calories over my range after dinner – which BTW was delicious! Emotional/boredom eating reared up at night. I had actually thought “I need to make some tea”… and instead ended up munching on essentially peanut butter chocolate rice krispies. When I get home, the remaining rice krispies are going in the trash. Have I mentioned I have an issue with “wasting” fo... Tue, 11 Dec 2012 14:02:32 EST Impending Changes? CICO for yesterday: <BR> CI: 1605 <BR> BMR: 1565 <BR> CO: 92 <BR> Total: -52 <BR> <BR> Didn't get much intentional exercise in yesterday. Did a mile walk at lunch but that was it. Ended up doing some house cleaning when I got home, but I didn't count that. At least the day wasn't AS horrible as it could have been... although looking at WHAT I ate, even if the calories didn't go completely overboard, the content was less than desireable. (donut holes? really?? Did I HAVE to eat them jus... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 09:52:51 EST End of BLC First, I tried to do this last night but my laptop wouldn't let me in to make the post: <BR> <BR> For Wed: <BR> CI - 1838 <BR> BMR - 1565 <BR> CO - 534 (a mile walk at lunch and riding 2 horses) <BR> Total: -261 <BR> <BR> BLC has ended. I am not thrilled with my results. I feel like I'm constantly making excuses. I tried Advocare during this round. The 24 day challenge would have ended 3 days before the end of BLC. Perfect timing right? Well, I stopped early with a HORRIBLE case of hi... Thu, 6 Dec 2012 13:59:01 EST 1/3 done Seems that some of my BLC beginning resolutions and plans have stuck... and some... not so much. Blogging hasn't happened. And I feel most of the time like I've barely been keeping up with my team. Thankfully the weight has been coming off for the most part so I guess I'm not a complete failure. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> Been keeping busy. Jen is still letting me work with Noble and between Anita and I, we're having a lot of fun and he's improving by leaps and bounds! He did well at hi... Tue, 9 Oct 2012 12:02:56 EST BLC 20 Beginning BLC 20 starts tomorrow. I'm once again a Warrior. It's a good team. I was tasked to come up with some "out of my comfort zone" commitments for this round. Decided it was time to update my blog anyway so here they are. And considering one of them is to keep my blog updated, it makes sense too. <BR> <BR> Today I saw a Jillian Michaels video online. She was asked what makes a difference in motivation. It came down to figuring out WHY you want this and to keep that in mind. I think that ... Tue, 11 Sep 2012 22:09:50 EST A Foggy Update I’ve been wanting to blog an update to my life for a few days now… maybe a week. In some ways things are clearer. In others, they’re just as foggy as ever. It’s hard to write out exactly where I am and describe it when it feels utterly indescribable most of the time. Then of course there’s the part that doesn’t WANT to describe it because I don’t particularly like it. <BR> <BR> Almost 2 weeks ago I emailed both Thom & Chris, separately. As described, the emails weren’t “rainbows and uni... Tue, 12 Jun 2012 15:34:24 EST Bad night Bad night. Started out ok, but after Jen left (taking Map, one of the horses, to florida) I logged onto FB and immediately it felt like all the air was taken out of my world. I can't imagine cutting off FB... cutting myself off from people even more than I physically am at the farm. But at the same time I'm beginning to loathe it. And no, I can't block Thom and Chris because I wouldn't know ANYTHING that's going on with the kids. Maybe that's an excuse... I dunno. <BR> <BR> What did I s... Thu, 31 May 2012 22:12:48 EST Just to get it out fair warning -- this blog has to do with Thom. <BR> <BR> "for my dear, powerful wife..." That's how a recent FB link (to an article that really is relevant to her) started. Like being hit with a sledgehammer. The same one that wants to pound back with "oh, you mean the wife who isn't sure she wants you in her life?... the one that isn't sure she wants to live with you or be with you or even loves you anymore?... the one who I think is using you like a security blanket that she intends to... Mon, 14 May 2012 12:24:22 EST Not a Positive So just yesterday I blogged my plan for the next few weeks (and beyond) and one of the goals was to Stay Positive. yeah... if you're expecting that right now... you may want to skip this entry. <BR> <BR> After talking about it last spring. After hemming and hawing for months. Back in February, after the last big conversation with Thom, I finally made an appointment with a counselor. I logged onto my insurance website (BCBS), got all logged in with my plan number, and found an in-network ... Tue, 1 May 2012 15:58:21 EST The Big Plan Goals for BLC 19 <BR> <BR> Fact is that I know what I should be doing to lose the weight, but I let life get in the way. I let procrastination get in the way. I let “well, I messed that up so I’m not going to do anything anymore today” get in the way. Life is what it is and it sure as H#LL isn’t perfect. It’s not what I wanted it to be right now. And even when things are good, there are still things that pop up that I let ruin a streak and break a newly forming habit so those good habit... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:53:32 EST because its the only place I can vent ... plus... I can keep a record of this for my next counseling appointment. This is "good stuff"... <BR> <BR> Got home late. Was on auto pilot and forgot I was going to stop by Jen's barn and chat as well as pick up some hay for the boys. Oh well. Still debating on the audition tomorrow so maybe I'll do it then. Quickly looked at FB and saw Thom's update from an hour ago: <BR> <BR> Going to the Dublin Pub for dinner at 6 if anyone is looking for something to do tonight. <BR> <BR> UGH!... Mon, 23 Apr 2012 18:42:38 EST How to smile 1. Find out that one of your teen crush bands is playing locally this summer. <BR> <BR> 2. Buy 2 "lawn" tickets <BR> <BR> 3. Send email to 11yo step daughter that you got hooked on the band when she was 6. Email should contain a picture of the ticket and ask if she would help you use them. <BR> <BR> 4. See reaction... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Followed by.... <BR> <BR> <img src=" Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:17:38 EST So many changes to make BLC 19 is getting ready to start. I wasn't sure I'd be involved, and I will miss my Wolf team a lot, but I'm looking forward to the Warrior team... maybe it will help push me to make the changes I need to make. And there are a lot of them... <BR> <BR> ... make exercise a priority. It often gets pushed aside as I've been trying to find my way again... between the work of the farm (the animals, the garden, the upkeep, the new projects, the daily regular chores) and simply trying to keep my ... Sat, 21 Apr 2012 22:10:59 EST Homework questions I did my homework for today's appointment... write a letter that I would never send. Truth is that I've been writing letters like that off and on for a long time. In times of stress (like hte last year) there are more letters. Full of things that I either can't say... or figure there's no reason to bring up. Or simply a way to organize my thoughts. Sometimes all of the above. <BR> <BR> When asking me about it, Judy (my counselor) asked what kinds of things I would write/ask. I babbled ... Tue, 17 Apr 2012 21:54:11 EST From a blog A friend of mine writes a blog and she's very good at it. Writing like that is one of those things that always bumps around in my brain that I would love to be able to do. I used to write articles for an area newsletter and folks always told me they liked them. writing a blog (more than personal thoughts like this) is always something I've wanted to do, but never was sure how to get started, etc. <BR> <BR> ANYWAY... that's not the point. The point is that she recently posted an entry to ... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:08:56 EST Weekend Review thoughts Busy weekend. Really busy. Lots accomplished and I'm happy with that. But still trying to find my footing I guess because it's not like I look back at the weekend and smile, ya know? <BR> <BR> I did take a few pictures of some of the things I managed to do. <BR> <BR> I'm putting in a privacy fence... about 14' long, partially up the driveway. Just as a block from the road since I eventually want to move the hot tub to teh patio. So I have 1 8ft section up and now stained with the 2 6... Mon, 9 Apr 2012 15:00:20 EST Weekend Plans Seems there are more things that I either have planned or want to do than there will be time to do it all. Looks like the weather is actually going to be nice both days so that will help (initially it was possible rain on Sunday and of course the guys decided tomorrow afternoon would be better for a gaming session... indoors... when my list mostly consists of outdoor chores). <BR> <BR> I have a showing on the cottage house Monday evening, so I need to get over there and get a couple things ... Fri, 6 Apr 2012 14:33:55 EST Many Updates Things to do today: <BR> ƒÞ Go to Walmart at lunch ¡V need a few minor items like yogurt as well as something to feed Reilly. <BR> ƒÞ Email AJ (again) and maybe include Mark. AJ never replied and if they want to do the work, I need to get their input asap. I¡¦m almost ready to put up the privacy fence section and get started on leveling the garden, and the bushes will need to come out before then if I¡¦m still moving the hot tub. And that means figuring out where the water line will even... Tue, 3 Apr 2012 10:47:58 EST Just an update and mental gymnastics Feeling better than I did last week (physically). No more coughing and I've actually slept all night the last 2 nights!! that said I'm still sucking on Ricola's like they're my favorite candy... and I think my sinuses are finally trying to stage a coup. Also my left ankle is still pretty sore from twisting it a week ago. Not hateful and most of the time I'm walking without a limp. But I didn't have it wrapped over teh weekend and I think it's just weak... so now it's sore. Tried to keep... Tue, 27 Mar 2012 12:47:06 EST Why bother? <em>230</em> <em>228</em> <em>230</em> <em>228</em> <em>230</em> <em>228</em> <BR> This post isn't a happy one. Had a rough night last night and these are my more coherent thoughts on it. Feel free to skip and/or not comment. I certainly won't take offense. <BR> <BR> The kids (W and R) are homeschooled and very active in a local home school group. On of the offshoots they're involved in is the theater group. They had a play last night. Alice in Wonderland. R was a pigeon and W ... Tue, 20 Mar 2012 14:34:40 EST Clutziness... proof in pictures So I puttered around the farm yesterday. Put up the temp fencing for the horses that are supposed to be coming in at some point. Found a couple hidden nests of eggs (damn chickens). Anyway... at some point I decided to hang a piece of PVC over the entrance to the stalls so I could use it like a curtain rod... with either a plastic mesh or just plain plastic as the curtains... an attempt to keep the hens from jumping over the fence and getting into the barn. Had to get all the supplies tog... Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:43:44 EST which is worse? So which is worse... not having someone you really respect (among other feelings) and want to earn their respect and praise "like" or even acknowledge your facebook updates or even emails (random, accomplishments, etc)... or having them acknowledge them after hurt? <BR> <BR> I honestly don't know. It hurt when Thom liked an update after our last talk (when he said there was no maybe,someday for us anymore... that he was choosing Chris to the exclusion of everything else, no matter what he f... Sun, 18 Mar 2012 13:54:56 EST