TLCFME's SparkPeople Blog TLCFME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky. Mon, 19 Sep 2016 16:41:42 EST What do you wear on a beach? Sand-als. Mon, 19 Sep 2016 16:39:21 EST Why did the lady spray her clock? Because it had ticks. Sat, 17 Sep 2016 13:46:38 EST Why can Mount Everest hear everything you say? Because it is covered with mountain eers. Sat, 17 Sep 2016 13:44:49 EST What has a bottom on its top? A leg. Mon, 12 Sep 2016 14:20:37 EST What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck? You get milk and quackers! Mon, 12 Sep 2016 11:10:57 EST Where are chicks born? Chick-cago Mon, 12 Sep 2016 11:07:07 EST What do you call a teacher who doesn't far in public? A private tooter. Mon, 12 Sep 2016 05:02:57 EST What is a centipede's favorite toy? Leg-os Sun, 11 Sep 2016 11:04:47 EST What do you call James Bond in a bathtub? Bubble-07! Sat, 10 Sep 2016 05:35:11 EST What do you call an underwater spy? James Pond. Fri, 9 Sep 2016 17:09:01 EST What happened when the cat ate a ball of yarn? <BR> It had Mittens! <em>239</em> <em>241</em> <em>240</em> <em>20</em> <em>252</em> <em>104</em> <em>213</em> Wed, 13 Nov 2013 08:05:38 EST What's yellow and hops up and down? <BR> A canary with hiccups! <em>145</em> <em>282</em> <em>220</em> <em>30</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 4 Aug 2013 10:58:29 EST When does the clock strike 25? <BR> When it's broken! <em>412</em> <em>128</em> <em>56</em> <em>12</em> <em>387</em> <em>20</em> <em>58</em> <em>252</em> <em>244</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Sat, 6 Jul 2013 14:19:05 EST Where fo ghosts make their beer? <BR> At the boo-ery! <em>423</em> <em>423</em> <em>297</em> <em>297</em> <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>58</em> <em>247</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:30:10 EST Why do rhinos have so many wrinkles? <BR> Because they are hard to iron! <em>20</em> <em>58</em> <em>252</em> <em>386</em> <em>224</em> <em>213</em> Fri, 14 Jun 2013 20:19:25 EST What do you call a cow that has two legs? <BR> "Lean" beef. <em>58</em> <em>30</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:57:00 EST What happened when the teacher tied the students' shoelaces together? <BR> They went on a class "Trip"! <em>20</em> <em>58</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 9 Jun 2013 18:16:53 EST What do witches ask for at hotels? <BR> Broom service!!! <em>436</em> <em>424</em> <em>104</em> <em>220</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Mon, 3 Jun 2013 10:27:54 EST How long does it take for a gymnast to get to class? <BR> A "split" second. <em>216</em> <em>415</em> <em>356</em> <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Thu, 30 May 2013 10:24:24 EST What do runners do when they forget something? <BR> They Jog their memory! <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>244</em> <em>216</em> <em>363</em> <em>185</em> <em>186</em> <em>182</em> <em>57</em> <em>312</em> <em>311</em> <em>250</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 26 May 2013 10:39:08 EST What did sushi A say to sushi B? <BR> Wasa bi? <em>58</em> <em>213</em> <em>20</em> <em>252</em> <em>247</em> <em>244</em> Wed, 15 May 2013 15:25:13 EST Why did the boy take a bale of hay to bed? <BR> To feed his nighht-mare! <em>102</em> <em>58</em> <em>20</em> <em>252</em> <em>247</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Tue, 7 May 2013 09:51:50 EST Why are most baseball games held at night? <BR> Because the bats sleep during the day! <em>20</em> <em>300</em> <em>58</em> <em>247</em> <em>211</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 28 Apr 2013 14:11:04 EST What do ants take when they're sick? <BR> Ant-ibiotics! <em>282</em> <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>252</em> <em>247</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Sat, 20 Apr 2013 14:11:09 EST Why did the boy swallow 3 dollar bills? <BR> Because it was his lunch money! <em>20</em> <em>244</em> <em>247</em> <em>58</em> <em>211</em> <em>213</em> Fri, 19 Apr 2013 09:50:00 EST Where do you find elephants? <BR> Where you left them! <em>432</em> <em>435</em> <em>449</em> <em>20</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Mon, 8 Apr 2013 09:55:22 EST Why was the computer injured? <BR> Because it slipped a disk! <em>17</em> <em>387</em> <em>282</em> <em>197</em> <em>58</em> <em>100</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>211</em> <em>213</em> Fri, 29 Mar 2013 09:18:05 EST Why can't a bicycle stand up? <BR> Because it's two "tired". <em>217</em> <em>108</em> <em>332</em> <em>309</em> <em>20</em> <em>58</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>224</em> <em>213</em> Mon, 18 Mar 2013 11:42:45 EST What's a cheerleader's favorite drink? <BR> Root beer! <em>321</em> <em>215</em> <em>297</em> <em>297</em> <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>247</em> <em>211</em> <em>213</em> Thu, 14 Mar 2013 17:12:40 EST Why did the boy sleep with a ruler? <BR> Because he wanted to check how long he slept! <em>102</em> <em>102</em> <em>58</em> <em>20</em> <em>252</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>224</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 10 Mar 2013 01:47:14 EST Why would Snow White make a good judge? <BR> Because she's the fairest of them all! <em>188</em> <em>221</em> <em>458</em> <em>459</em> <em>362</em> <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>224</em> <em>213</em> <em>211</em> Sat, 2 Mar 2013 08:51:00 EST What do you get when you cross T-Rex with a chicken? <BR> A Tyrannosaurus Pecks. <em>20</em> <em>29</em> <em>212</em> <em>247</em> <em>211</em> <em>213</em> Sat, 23 Feb 2013 11:30:33 EST How do pigs write top secret messages? <BR> With invisible oink! <em>20</em> <em>212</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Wed, 20 Feb 2013 12:07:23 EST Why did the robber wear blue gloves? <BR> Because he didn't want to get caught red-handed! <em>20</em> <em>58</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>212</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Mon, 11 Feb 2013 16:12:57 EST Why did the lady spray her clock? <BR> Because it had ticks! <em>128</em> <em>56</em> <em>58</em> <em>20</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 10 Feb 2013 09:39:50 EST What did the rabbit give his girlfriend? <BR> A 14 carrot ring! <em>52</em> <em>291</em> <em>210</em> <em>104</em> <em>58</em> <em>20</em> <em>247</em> <em>247</em> <em>224</em> <em>213</em> Sat, 9 Feb 2013 10:29:38 EST Why did the peanut cross the road? <BR> To get to the SHELL station! <em>343</em> <em>436</em> <em>104</em> <em>20</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>213</em> Tue, 5 Feb 2013 07:44:29 EST What did the envelope say to the stamp? <BR> Stick with me and we'll go places!!! <em>433</em> <em>432</em> <em>58</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>386</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> <BR> Looking for my travel companion! Mon, 4 Feb 2013 13:55:38 EST How does a rose ride a bike? <BR> By pushing HER petals!!! <em>214</em> <em>146</em> <em>125</em> <em>87</em> <em>126</em> <em>375</em> <em>214</em> <em>146</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>334</em> <em>224</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 3 Feb 2013 11:43:59 EST What do you call two witches who live together? <BR> Broommates! <em>424</em> <em>424</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>213</em> Sat, 2 Feb 2013 10:42:47 EST If two is company and there's a crowd, what are four and five? <BR> Nine! <em>20</em> <em>58</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:46:28 EST What do garbagemen eat? <BR> Junk food! <em>343</em> <em>473</em> <em>477</em> <em>486</em> <em>4</em> <em>20</em> <em>198</em> <em>247</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Thu, 24 Jan 2013 14:45:34 EST What is a dog's favorite color? <BR> Grrrreen! <em>200</em> <em>338</em> <em>201</em> <em>134</em> <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>247</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>334</em> Wed, 23 Jan 2013 10:32:03 EST What do you call a whale band? <BR> An orca-stra! <em>322</em> <em>237</em> <em>492</em> <em>29</em> <em>30</em> <em>252</em> <em>247</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>224</em> Mon, 21 Jan 2013 15:29:04 EST Why did the monster put a keep off sign on her lawn? <BR> She wanted to mark her terror-tory! <em>423</em> <em>224</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>211</em> <em>213</em> Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:52:30 EST What did one snowman say to another snowman? <BR> Something smells like carrots! <em>210</em> <em>291</em> <em>444</em> <em>444</em> <em>20</em> <em>334</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <em>211</em> <em>213</em> Sun, 16 Dec 2012 16:36:22 EST What do you get when two peas mix it up? <BR> Black - eyed peas! <em>373</em> <em>371</em> <em>20</em> <em>104</em> <em>220</em> <em>247</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Sat, 15 Dec 2012 12:28:41 EST Why is the snail the strongest animal? <BR> Because he carries a house on his back! <em>104</em> <em>244</em> <em>247</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> Fri, 30 Nov 2012 20:26:42 EST If there are five flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the Am football player? <BR> The one in the Sugar Bowl. <em>216</em> <em>281</em> <em>104</em> <em>334</em> <em>220</em> <em>247</em> <em>247</em> <em>213</em> Mon, 26 Nov 2012 09:50:18 EST