THREERESCUEDME's SparkPeople Blog THREERESCUEDME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Big. "Frustration" doesn't even begin to cover it. <BR> <BR> After working harder than I ever have at the gym this past week, I gained over two pounds again. Some might say it's muscle, and I would have to disagree in this case. I have been at this lifestyle change for almost three months now, and I still have yet to leave the 230s. I broke down and cried this morning. I am breaking down. <BR> <BR> If you've read any of my other blog entries, you know that I have moments when I feel really, ... Sun, 21 Jul 2013 11:32:48 EST Winning. For every drop of sweat shed, I will think of the dance instructor from my grade school years who looked me up and down every time I moved across the room...the scathing eyes that judged a hole in my head. I will think of the kids in my dance class who laughingly called me "Thunder Thighs" and made me believe I could never be like them. And I will smirk. <BR> <BR> For every calorie burned, I will think of the popular boy in my graduating class in high school who bullied me my entire senior ... Sat, 20 Jul 2013 15:33:27 EST Skinny does not equal fit. After years of hearing something over and over and never really believing it, I got to see it in action. <BR> <BR> Tonight I got on this beastly machine I lovingly call the "Stairlyptical" -- it's a cross between a StairMaster and an elliptical, and it makes for a GREAT workout. I have been using this machine off and on for over two months now, and I feel a strong sense of love and hate for it. It makes me sweat and burns lots of calories, but it is very hard work. <BR> <BR> While I was on... Wed, 17 Jul 2013 22:51:50 EST Fresh outlook Thank you to everyone who encouraged me on my last two blog entries. <BR> <BR> I just got home from a very successful night at the gym. I kicked butt, and though I felt and saw the stares of the slim and trim, I just kept right on going, working that much harder. <BR> <BR> It sucks to be judged, yes, but I don't have time for the naysayers. I'm not there for them. I'm there for me, my husband, and my future children. <BR> <BR> My husband is the absolute BEST workout partner! He plans ou... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 23:09:06 EST Frustration and sadness. Yesterday, I had a miserable experience at the gym. It may have been all in my head, but it hurt nonetheless. <BR> <BR> My husband has been a faithful workout partner, which really helps in keeping me motivated. Recently, at the suggestion of several people, we have added extra strength training to our routine to combat the dreaded plateau phases of weight loss and getting fit. <BR> <BR> At the gym last night, while we were testing ourselves on various weight machines to see where we stoo... Sun, 7 Jul 2013 22:34:38 EST Losing Hope I am so beyond frustrated. For the past nearly two months, I have been unable to leave the cursed 230s. <BR> <BR> I have exercised regularly (at least three times each week for an hour and a half each time), and I have eaten sensibly within my calorie range. <BR> <BR> What is wrong with me? I keep getting emotional about it, especially since I've never been a small girl to begin with. I feel as though I am doomed to remain in this big body, and none of my efforts are doing me any good. <... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 17:48:54 EST