THEETSYBAY's SparkPeople Blog THEETSYBAY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community REALLY need to vent Surgery on requires someone to be there with me. <BR> <BR> I am a nervous wreck. My mom can't drive any more. <BR> <BR> My sister originally said she'd scheduled the day off, once I told her what time I had to be there she asked who was driving me. <BR> <BR> WTF?!?!? <BR> <BR> She now says I can drive myself and they come back & pick up my car. I'll be damned if I'm letting her touch my car! Sat, 19 Sep 2015 20:04:04 EST OK I can honestly say that I'm getting better... well maybe better isn't the proper word. <BR> <BR> More observant? <BR> More in tune? <BR> <BR> IDK what to call it, but eating small meals more often, chewing thoroughly, and real, really focusing on what and how I eat, well I think it's finally paid off. <BR> <BR> After 54 years, I can finally tell when I feel full. <BR> <BR> What a revelation. <BR> <BR> If I'd not done any of this research, I'd just keep on eating... Wed, 2 Sep 2015 21:58:10 EST The little engine... I'm still chugging along. <BR> <BR> Yesterday mom asked me if I'd lost any weight. I said IDK since I hate weighing myself lately. But decided I needed to keep track again. So I did...not sure how I compare to myself. <BR> <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I mean, I should've weighed myself before I went for my initial consultation. However, my weight is within a half pound of when I last weighed myself here. Now to find out when that was... <BR> <BR> Also, I went to see my nephrologist on Thursd... Mon, 31 Aug 2015 15:48:11 EST All things considered... I'm doing OK. I'm much more conscious of what I'm eating and when. I've set an alarm to remind me to eat every 2 hours. I'm chewing, chewing, chewing! <BR> <BR> I went grocery shopping yesterday & bought yogurt, cottage cheese, protein bars, cereal, etc...things that were on the list of "approved" foods. <BR> <BR> Now to convince myself that I don't want any of the potato chips mom bought. <BR> <BR> Wed, 26 Aug 2015 16:34:02 EST OK, here I go's the last time to start over OK I need to write every day. I need to get in the habit of recording my food. And I need to pay attention to myself and what I eat. <BR> <BR> I set alarms to remind me to eat every 2 hours during the day. <BR> <BR> "Why" do you ask? <BR> <BR> I went to see a bariatric surgeon. Well, more than just the surgeon. It's a full -service office. Not just bariatric surgery, they also offer dr assisted diets. <BR> <BR> My initial appointment took close to 4 hours. In that time, I saw a nurse, re... Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:49:16 EST I really need to vent I need a break. <BR> <BR> I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY got my sister to agree to take my mom out. To take her shopping. Mom says she needs new shoes & clothes. <BR> FINALLY <BR> FINALLY! <BR> <BR> They're not going. <BR> So I asked my mom why not. <BR> Yada sister won't use the wheelchair. My sister won't take her where she wants to go. My sister would make her spend more money. It would turn into a shopping trip for my sister. <BR> <BR> bottom line: <BR> Mom would rather go shoppi... Sun, 28 Jun 2015 16:25:08 EST I'm not alone... I need to save this link... <BR> <BR> How Overeating Becomes Food Addiction <BR> <BR> Emotional eating is not always "just" emotional eating. Sometimes, it is a full-fledged addiction with obvious - and very serious - consequences. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>?title=How+Overeating+Becomes+Food+Add<BR>iction+&blid=16302 </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> Don’t Let Fear Stall Your Weight Loss <BR> <BR> <link><BR>?title=Don%92t+L... Mon, 15 Jun 2015 20:38:29 EST I may have found it... I was getting ready to post that I may have found my motivation: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> But then another opportunity presented itself. <BR> <em>26</em> <em>129</em> <BR> he's really nice & cute & protective & British... <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> so keeping my fingers crossed for this one. Thu, 14 May 2015 23:55:42 EST ...and now for something completely different or completely the same. I'm not sure. <BR> <BR> But I do know that I can't continue living like this. If I don't change, nothing will. <BR> <BR> So what is stopping me? <BR> <BR> What am I afraid of? <BR> <BR> Am I afraid of staying in pain? <BR> <BR> Am I happy in staying like this and constantly hiding under men's XL shirts? <BR> <BR> Am I afraid of actually being seen as desirable? <BR> <BR> No matter how badly I want to be svelt, what's holding me back? <BR> <BR> Do I not feel li... Thu, 23 Apr 2015 20:37:29 EST day 7 of Lent...IDK where I got 40 days from <em>2</em> <BR> IDK why I thought Lent only lasted for 40 days. Wishful thinking? <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> Ok so this is now how much can I lose by Easter, and can I remember to type here every day. <BR> <BR> Headache is gone but it lasted nearly 5 days. <BR> Went to Scheck & Sirus to get my shoes adjusted but they still hurt my feet. I just want to be able to walk pain free, or even with a lot less pain. <BR> <BR> So I've been weighing myself & taking my BP everyday since a nurs... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 19:29:44 EST Day 2/40 Well it started off pretty darned poopy. I gained weight FFS. <BR> <em>234</em> <BR> <BR> I woke up with a really bad headache yesterday and it's still lingering today. <BR> <BR> Lunch is a bowl of grits. <BR> Not sure about dinner yet. <BR> <BR> I put the peanuts away since the only reason I ate them was that they were on the end table in the den while I was watching Nashville. <BR> <BR> My doctor doubled my BP meds but it's actually higher. I thought that maybe I have a headache bec... Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:50:06 EST Day 1/40 Yes it was yesterday but I forgot to post. <BR> <BR> I thought I did better, I know I ate better. No candy or snacks, just a handful of dry roasted peanuts. <BR> <BR> Lunch was leftover Dirty Rice. <BR> Dinner was black eyed peas. <BR> Then the peanuts. <BR> Lots of plain iced tea. <BR> <BR> Can't really exercise as my feet hurt way too bad, but I stretched a little. <BR> <BR> Baby steps. Thu, 19 Feb 2015 15:43:41 EST OK so... Trying to meet someone online is not easy...nor cheap. eHarmony, and even a Catholic dating site yield nothing but aggravation. <BR> <BR> So I'm going to put that on hold for a while and concentrate on me. <BR> <BR> Here's my plan: Lent. <BR> <BR> 40 well, no junk. <BR> <BR> Take it one day at a time. <BR> <BR> One meal at a time. <BR> <BR> One workout at a time. <BR> <BR> Even a bad workout is better than none. Sun, 15 Feb 2015 23:05:07 EST Need to talk to someone... I can't vent on my fb page since my family reads it. <BR> <BR> I just really need to talk or write things out. <BR> <BR> I met a really nice guy online and he's nearly everything I need emotionally. We've not yet met in real life but he really wants to. Here's the issue, and I know it will make me sound like a heartless bitch: he's been in a wheelchair since a bad car accident when he was 17. So he can't give me what I need physically. <BR> <em>39</em> <BR> I need someone who can take ... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 13:21:28 EST Major victory! OK so yesterday was one of the most emotionally draining days I’ve had in at least 14 months... <BR> <em>39</em> <BR> Here's my fb status & comments: <BR> Just saw my kids. They came to take my mom out to lunch. My daughter gave me a dirty look when I went to the door, but she spoke to me. My son just gave me looks that could kill. Haven't seen him since he turned 18 in April of 2013. I can't remember when I last saw her...maybe Christmas of 2012. --feeling very lost without them. <BR> x... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 14:53:59 EST OK so I REALLY suck at this... I had my second weigh-in and couldn't believe I'd lost more weight. That did make me happy tho seeing as I ate out a few times. <BR> <BR> But this week totally sucks because of Memorial Day weekend. I totally pigged out on Saturday--I allowed myself that day. Then was OK on Sunday but just...I don't know what happened yesterday. <BR> <em>40</em> <BR> The half-eaten bowls of chips were just sitting there... <BR> <em>4</em> <BR> Bowls of chex mix & kettle chips & guacamole flavored chi... Tue, 27 May 2014 18:04:23 EST Day 4 of Jenny Craig & I suck... So Tuesday my sister & I attended a Town Hall meeting with Bruce Rauner. I was not expecting to dine, but some of her friends met us there so they opted to meet at a bagel-type restaurant. I had a salad with balsamic vinegarette dressing. Off the plan already! <BR> <em>198</em> Tue, 20 May 2014 19:11:44 EST OK I admit I need help Hello. My name is Betsy. I'm a carbaholic. <BR> <BR> I'm human...I'm weak...I fall, I get up...I gain, I lose...I gain it back. <BR> <BR> I can't keep this yo-yo going tho, it's very unhealthy. <BR> <BR> I went back to Jenny Craig yesterday. They have normal food in the right proportions. I need to be encouraged with more than my mom asking "How's your weight?" <BR> <BR> A workout buddy would be nice, but that won't happen with my schedule...a virtual one could tho. <BR> <BR> I'd rather... Sat, 17 May 2014 13:44:34 EST UGH I need to get back to weighing myself & making journal entries daily. Thu, 8 May 2014 10:21:07 EST Welcome to 2014 OK so I got off-track. yes I know, but I intended to. I knew that there was no way that I could go thru the holidays with all the baking I do and NOT eat any of it, so I allowed myself from between Thanksgiving and New Year's to indulge, so to say. <BR> <BR> Yes it was good. <BR> Yes I enjoyed it. <BR> <BR> And yes I have lost nearly all of it. Sun, 19 Jan 2014 14:07:14 EST *O*M*G* OMG!! <BR> i AM ECSTATIC!! <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> I've not posted in a while, sorry about that... <BR> But a long distance friend of mine & I have been walking every day since before Labor Day. On Friday I walked nearly 3 miles, which i amazing for me. <BR> <em>43</em> <BR> The big news is that not only are all of my summer clothes too big for me... <BR> <em>9</em> <BR> I am back into my clothes I was wearing in 2006! <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> They're still a little tight but... ... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 13:45:19 EST Nearly lost it I went out with one of my GFs for dinner on Thursday and when I got home, my sister ripped me a new a$$hole--pardon my language but it was THAT bad! <BR> <BR> I can't even get into all that happened, just suffice it to say that I took a clonazepam & washed it down with a very weak vodka & tonic leftover from the day before. <BR> <BR> It took me this long to confront her about it. You can't talk to her, she doesn't listen. She is just like my dad: when he got mad at her, he'd take it out on ... Sat, 17 Aug 2013 15:55:24 EST Damn family I took my niece shopping yesterday & we went to Victoria's Secret. I figure since I've lost 40 pounds (well 43 as of today!) I could splurge a little and buy something feminine. So I bought this shirt: <BR> <BR><BR>view-all-tops/graphic-baseball-tee?Pro<BR>ductID=130764&CatalogueType=OLS <BR> <BR> So I"m feeling really good about myself...until I show my mom. I'm wearing it today. It hsa the number 10 on the front and the word ANGEL on the back. She ... Wed, 14 Aug 2013 18:59:04 EST AHHHH!!!!!! *HAPPY SCREAM* He loves me! <BR> Sat, 10 Aug 2013 18:48:20 EST Not checked in nor weighed in a while... Down a total of 40 pounds. <BR> <BR> 10 more will be good. <BR> <BR> 20 even better. <BR> <BR> 30 would be overkill... Sat, 10 Aug 2013 17:53:18 EST post wedding blues... So I looked really REALLY good...yet no pics of me. <BR> <em>39</em> <BR> I had to take one of myself in the ladies room at the reception. <BR> <em>234</em> <BR> all these people with cameras & camera phones and no pics... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> and it's not even that good of a pic either Sun, 30 Jun 2013 04:29:20 EST I won't let my sister pull me down! <em>337</em> <BR> OK so if you've been following me at all, you know my cousin's wedding is today. It's a good hour's drive away so my (huge) family of 5 will ride together--that's my mom, sister, BIL, niece & me. Part of my mom & me would like for us to drive separately, but then I wouldn't be able to have a drink. <BR> <em>181</em> <BR> Anyway, the biggest car, aka The Old Man Mobile since it was my father's station wagon, will comfortable hold all of us but it has n air conditioning... Sat, 29 Jun 2013 09:57:44 EST Woo-hoo!! Almost made my goal! <em>337</em> <BR> So my cousin's wedding is tomorrow & I'm within 2 pounds of where SP says I should be. <BR> <em>9</em> <BR> Down 38 pounds!! <BR> <em>334</em> <em>224</em> <em>244</em> <BR> Definite photo ops tomorrow!!! <BR> <em>388</em> Fri, 28 Jun 2013 15:50:13 EST I am *SO* excited! My cousin's wedding (well, actually he's my first cousin once removed--my cousin's son) is Saturday and I'm down nearly 37 pounds!! <BR> <em>9</em> <BR> I'm just so excited since I've not seen my cousins since Christmas! <BR> <em>30</em> <BR> I am 3.9 pounds higher than where SP says I should be, but I'm still pretty happy about it! <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> More importantly, I am 3.9 pounds higher than were I was in 2006 when I looked fantastic! <BR> <em>43</em> <BR> The big dif... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 12:52:04 EST Maybe I'm the one... <link> </link> Wed, 19 Jun 2013 15:28:43 EST My #%&(*%^# family... If we could choose our families, my sisters would be Jill & Michelle, for we love each other unconditionally & non-judgementally. <BR> <em>129</em> <BR> But since I'm stuck with who I have, I just have to suffer through... <BR> <em>39</em> <BR> Instead of being happy for my losing 36 pounds, my sister has yet to acknowledge anything as she is too jealous. <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> While she has been supportive, today my mother told me that she thinks it's time I stopped losing weight.... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 14:46:43 EST A giant leap...can I do it again? Well I'm proud of myself...I think I made a huge improvement last night. Someone upset me (not important as to what they did since in the realm of the universe it's really insignificant) so I did what I normally do, I went to the kitchen. My stomach was growling, as I'd not eaten much all day, I was so ready to just eat anything...everything...whatever I could shove into my mouth. But I stopped myself and asked, how is my eating going to affect them? Just because they did something that upset... Sun, 16 Jun 2013 12:28:37 EST OMG I can't believe I forgot to post this! On Saturday, we went to a 90th birthday party for a dear friend. When I was getting dressed to go, I tried on all kids of clothes that I'd not worn either ever or in a while. Before Christmas, I bought a pair of skinny jeans off eBay and they were SO tiny that thre's no way they'd ever fit me. So I thought I"d give them to my 14 y.o niece. They were too big on her, of course--she's tiny. <BR> <em>20</em> <BR> So when I was getting ready, I looked for black pants & grabbed those skinny jea... Wed, 5 Jun 2013 16:51:01 EST *PHEW* Working in the garden is great exercise!! <em>193</em> <BR> I told my mom that if the number on the scale didn't drop (from all the work I did outside yesterday) that I'd throw it out the window! <BR> <em>9</em> <BR> I'm down a total of 30 pounds!! <BR> <em>334</em> <em>224</em> <em>48</em> <em>335</em> Mon, 27 May 2013 14:59:25 EST OMG!! Whoa!! <BR> <em>9</em> <BR> Seriously, I can pull my jeans off without unzipping them! <BR> <em>40</em> <BR> It was purely unconscious on my part, but once I realized I'd done it, I yelled (from the bathroom) what I'd just done!! <BR> <em>246</em> <BR> I can't wait to go shopping for new clothes!!! <BR> <em>204</em> <BR> I'm getting a new hairstyle on Thursday, too. <BR> <em>193</em> <BR> And check out my pounds lost ticker! <BR> <em>334</em> Sat, 25 May 2013 15:15:03 EST I need my kids to read this: <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <link><BR>translation.asp?id=384 </link> Sun, 19 May 2013 23:51:38 EST I back! I'm back in my blue jeans again! (Steven Tyler's singing for me) I haven't been posting much lately due to many personal issues--mostly my kids. We also got 6 feet of water in the basement and are still struggling. <BR> <em>33</em> <BR> However, I won't let any of that ruin me nor put me down. <BR> <em>104</em> <BR> No matter what happens today, nobody can take this feeling away from me. <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> are you sitting down?? <BR> <em>38</em> <BR> THE FIRST DIGIT ON THE SCALE IS A 1 AGAIN!!! <BR> <em>248</em> <BR> Now to get the ... Tue, 23 Apr 2013 14:04:01 EST CHECK OUT MY TICKER! TA-DA! (That was my awesome news) <BR> <em>224</em> <em>334</em> <BR> Plus: <BR> <em>503</em> <BR> And as an added bonus: <BR> after M & I dined out on Tuesday, I stopped at Sam's and picked up a pair of shorts, size 14! <BR> <em>9</em> <BR> Thu, 11 Apr 2013 13:42:05 EST Well, phooey!! But I'm on the right track!! <BR> <em>224</em> <em>334</em> <BR> &#9833; &#9834; &#9835; &#9836; Slow & steady wins the race! &#9833; &#9834; &#9835; &#9836; Mon, 8 Apr 2013 13:12:29 EST DAMMIT! Hopefully, it'll be tomorrow <BR> <em>2</em> <BR> Sorry about that... Sun, 7 Apr 2013 18:26:05 EST I hope I'll have AWESOME news tomorrow! I'm keeping it quiet for now but I hope I'll be doing back-flips tomorrow! <BR> <BR> Not because my baby turns 18 either <BR> <em>46</em> Sat, 6 Apr 2013 20:26:01 EST VENT Sorry but I have to vent again. <BR> <BR> It's not like I have a busy social life...right now, pretty much everything revolves around my family. So when I received a shower invitation in the mail today, I was elated! I thought "Oh good, another goal date!" and "I wonder what I'll wear? Maybe the new dress I got for Easter! Just think how much better it'll look on me in 4 more weeks!" <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> Then my bubble burst. <BR> <BR> My mom informed me that none of our side of the f... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 00:53:45 EST "The Rolling Stones" diet I came up with it this morning: <BR> <BR> You can't always eat what you want. <BR> You can't always eat what you want. <BR> You can't always eat what you want. <BR> But if you try sometimes <BR> you just might find <BR> you eat what you need! <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:43:24 EST Atkins day 13 I just passed 20 pounds! <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> I guess I finally realized what works for me: Atkins. It's a great jump-start and it does curb my cravings; however, it is not a long term solution for me. <BR> <BR> I printed a "Lenten countdown" calendar to try to keep myself on track for 40 days, but you can guess what happened. <BR> <em>192</em> <BR> I had to write a note on it that reads, "Lenten countDOWN, not UP!" <BR> and <BR> "What are you trying to do? See how much you can GAI... Thu, 21 Mar 2013 13:36:09 EST Induction day 4 I suppose I should change my start date yet again...I can't believe how much I gained. <BR> <em>39</em> <BR> When I'm in a slump, I'm really in a slump... <BR> <em>101</em> <BR> I need to vent here: <BR> I don't know why I let my ex get under my skin, I just have to keep reminding myself that he's an EX for a reason! And thank God I don't have to live with him any more. At least my family FINALLY agrees that divorcing him was not a bad thing--it was just what I did afterwards that was... Tue, 12 Mar 2013 23:29:41 EST OK here we go again.... Since I don't seem to be able to control my urge to eat, I've decided to go back on Atkins--at least until I get it under control. <BR> <BR> Completely eliminating carbs from my system will help me to control my cravings. <BR> <BR> Since it's worked before, I know it will work again. <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> OH, I went to see my orthopedist today, then onto my shoe guy. Dr liked my new shoes & said that they should delay surgery a few more years. Then got my shoes adjusted to remove rubbi... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 17:14:43 EST Need to vent So not weight related but I need to vent some place where my family won't see. <BR> <BR> I am SO fed up with someone telling me that they didn't cancel a DVR event when it clearly started recording, then stopped less than one minute into it AND there was only one person here! STUPID ME thinks that if I'm not going to be home, one of the few little things I can count on is one of the shows I like actually getting recorded. <BR> <BR> And it's not like I'M the one who sits around watching TV e... Mon, 4 Mar 2013 22:26:19 EST Good news...sort of? So I went to the Dr and I told her that I self-diagnosed Binge Eating Disorder. I said that from all I've read, I have every symptom. And she said that there really isn't a pill for it, that it's mostly stress related so she gave me a referral to a counselor. She said that they would be able to tell if changing my anti-depressant would help, but that she also said that I probably really need someone to talk to. <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> Besides M <em>129</em> <BR> <BR> But just talking w... Thu, 28 Feb 2013 02:45:45 EST OMG! *LIGHT BULB* I've found it! <BR> <link><BR>g_disorder.htm </link> <BR> An answer...according to 3 different articles I've read, I have BED: Binge Eating Disorder. <BR> <em>40</em> <BR> I feel better to know that I'm not alone and that there is help. <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> I'm going to discuss it with my doctor this afternoon. She will be able to help me. I have a lot of faith in her as I've been seeing her least 20 years! <BR> <em>41</em> Wed, 27 Feb 2013 14:09:37 EST Sigh OK M <BR> <em>220</em> <BR> I have a DR's appt for tomorrow afternoon. I asked them if they found it ppeculiar that immediate care wouldn't even x-ray it, just send me straight to ER for an MRI and she said, no they might have thought it was something worse. But when I asked her weren't they supposed to do what I asked? I asked for an x-ray and they said no...I can't afford to go to the ER and aren't they supposed to start small & rule things out? I mean that's kind of like chopping off ... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 23:57:58 EST