THECOOLESTSARAH's SparkPeople Blog THECOOLESTSARAH's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Loser. Watching the Biggest Loser makes me feel like the weakest excuse for an exerciser, ever. I vow to kick ass at the gym tomorrow morning because omg if they can do it, I can. Mon, 7 Jan 2013 22:50:42 EST Dec 2012 This past year has been a tumultuous one to say the least! I'm still working on getting divorced, I had lap band surgery, I finished graduate school, and I've lost a decent amount of weight. I feel fortunate to have not gained weight, and that my depression is still under control. <BR> <BR> My goal for the coming year is to get exercising on a regular basis. I just got a new job downtown, which I'm jazzed about! I'm hoping that the consistency of my new schedule will help me get a regular w... Tue, 4 Dec 2012 15:50:50 EST Lots to say Hi everyone! <BR> <BR> I finally finished graduate school, and I'm doing part-time work to try and make ends meet. My love has moved here from the east coast, and we're doing great! He actually talked me into logging onto SP today, and here I am posting a blog. We went to the gym tonight - my first time in probably a year - and it went pretty well! I'm not sure what I expected, but I'm in better shape than I thought. <BR> <BR> What's not good is that my body is really stiff. By product of g... Wed, 1 Aug 2012 01:32:18 EST video update! 2/11/12 Hi everyone! Here's another video - it's my 7 week post op lap band surgery, and I forgot to do a video last week.. oops. This is just a "here is my life" kinda video! Thanks for the love! <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> -Sarah T Sat, 11 Feb 2012 21:27:05 EST The 220s and a crapload of life changes I am two pounds away from 60 lbs lost. I get to put a star charm on my bracelet for every 20 lbs I lose! I'm trying to remember what it felt like to be in the 220s a few years ago - and I can't. Gaining weight back wiped out my memory of past successes, and just made me feel like a giant failure. This time, I'm never going back. I can't believe that this is really happening, even though I am so careful about what goes into my mouth, and I focus so hard on making each day count. <BR> <BR> I ... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:23:10 EST 55 lbs lost - a photo! This is not a before/after photo. This is an in-progress photo. 55 lbs down and a lot to go! :) I'm enjoying the journey, never fear! August 2011 on the left, January 2012 on the right! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Thu, 2 Feb 2012 19:00:54 EST On location at Tryon Creek State Park! Hey everyone! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Hope you are all doing well! <BR> <BR> I'm at Week 5 Post Op from my lapband surgery on Dec. 21st. I'm doing awesome! I'm losing weight slowly and steadily, just like I should be. I had my first fill last week, which has helped more than I thought it would. I now have 1cc of saline in my 10cc band. I'm hardly feeling any hunger at all, which makes it hard to eat enough protein when all ... Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:56:25 EST morning hikes, my accidental New Year's Resolution? I have been having the best time this last week. On New Years Day, for no specific reason other than I felt pretty good, I decided to take a hike at an urban park nearby that I had never been to. I was just feeling adventurous, so I headed over there and tried it out. <BR> <BR> I felt great! SInce I was only 10 days out from surgery, I didn't go far, and the elevation was a bit much. But I took some pictures and I spent some time in the fresh air and got a little exercise. I did about a mile... Mon, 9 Jan 2012 01:44:12 EST 2 weeks Post Op lapband! In case anyone is watching, you are welcome to come visit my youtube channel, where I am keeping a weekly account of my recent journey in weight loss! <BR> <BR> Click here to go check out today's video! <link> </link> <BR> <BR> It's been a good week.. Figuring out the eating, the water, and recently got back into walking/hiking! I'm loving the outdoors! Back to the grind next week, I spent most of this video talking about food that I'm excited to eat next week LOL. G... Fri, 6 Jan 2012 18:36:43 EST Grrrr! Stupid 2 lbs! I am so close to a 50 lb loss. It's driving me insane. Every day I step on the scale because it COULD or could NOT be the day!! I know it will come, and I keep doing what I'm supposed to. I'm just frustrated. But because of my surgery I had a huge loss last week and I'm sure my body is totally freaked out. <BR> <BR> It's just that I have the cutest charm ever to put onto my bracelet when I hit 50 lbs lost, and I'm obsessed. I seriously kiss my bracelet every morning before I step onto the sc... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 02:34:53 EST one week post op and feeling great! Hey gang! I have started a youtube channel to document my journey downward in vlogs! You are welcome to subscribe if you are interested in following along as I lose this weight for the LAST TIME. This is it! I'm never going back! Woo hoo! :) <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Thank you all for your incredible support through the last month - and years for some of you. I'm very happy with my decision, and even though I don't have it all totally figured out, I'm feelin... Thu, 29 Dec 2011 12:21:31 EST Surgery update! Hey there! I'm day 3 post op and doing pretty well. I pretty much sleep, drink water, and try to walk around a little. I don't really have much pain, but I tire easily. I took a nice hot shower yesterday, and some friends took me on a drive. Today I did a quick shopping trip and I'm back in bed resting. So far so good! Thanks for the well-wishes! I have no regrets and I know this was the right choice for me! Love you all and Merry Christmas! Sat, 24 Dec 2011 15:43:14 EST TODAY IS MY SURGERY Hi everyone :) <BR> <BR> I've been super busy with the end of the semester so I haven't been on SP much.. I have been updating my weight though, and I'm happy to report I met my goal of 250 lbs by surgery day! That leaves me with 100 lbs or less to lose after surgery. I'm hoping I might get a big loss over the next two weeks, and then it will be up to me to eat right and exercise.. The lap band is just a tool, it doesn't do the work for me. I'm prepared for a slow, normal weight loss and I t... Wed, 21 Dec 2011 13:02:21 EST it's getting close! Monday I have my 6th of 6 appointments with the clinic. Then we send all my info from the last 7 months to insurance and I cross my fingers and hope to god I get approved for surgery. I don't know how long I'll have to wait for an answer - could be days or weeks.. But I have my surgery penciled in for Dec. 21st so I'm hoping for the best. <BR> <BR> I've been spending a lot of time reading blogs and trying to figure out how fast people are losing in general with the band. It seems like it jus... Sat, 12 Nov 2011 10:12:46 EST arrrgh it's not MOVINGGGG (she says whining) I haven't lost a pound in two weeks. I need to get my juju back! I need to tighten up my game a little bit. <BR> <BR> Gym, water, protein, whole foods. These are the things that make me lose. The couple beers here or there - NOT HELPING. The stress-related-dairy-queen-encounters - NOT HELPING. Graduate school - NOT HELPING. lol ok there's not much I can do about graduate school hahaha <BR> <BR> In general, I am working my tail off. I have never worked so hard in my entire life. I'm struggl... Sun, 30 Oct 2011 01:16:53 EST did I seriously say yes? By losing weight, I am trying to recapture my low-weight-lifestyle which is very physically active. Yesterday, I was talking with a friend about my future weight loss, and what it might look like, and she said - "so why don't we circumnavigate Mt. Rainier in August?" And I agreed! Here's what the route looks like: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Now I KNOW I'm crazy. <BR> <BR> It's a 100 mile, 2 week backpacking trip. I'm pretty sure ... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 02:07:52 EST take THAT, meatheads! I used to lift weights, I had a personal trainer and I would show up and do my workouts. Since all my changes I've been feeling very conspicuous at the gym, and totally insecure about getting in there and doing strength training. I KNOW how important it is. But I am a spoiled brat and used to going to a really nice all-women's gym, but since moving I've decided to go to a coed gym closer to my house. <BR> <BR> So last night I unloaded on a friend, and told him all my insecurities about the m... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 14:42:52 EST Lap Band and support groups For those of you who have known me for a long time, this may come as a surprise, but I am having weight loss surgery in the next couple of months, and I have chosen the Lap Band as my method. I didn't enter into this decision lightly, and I've been through almost a year of preparation, so even though it's new to you, it isn't to me! <BR> <BR> I've been thinking a lot about support, and what that looks like for me at this point in my life. The last couple of years have been interesting. I use... Sun, 2 Oct 2011 13:43:16 EST the fast food diet! Hi gang! I'm mostly better. Actually I'm still sick, but I really need to get back to my life! So tomorrow is the last day I'm allowed to stay in bed. Monday I need to get back into the world and start making waves again! For all you Moms out there, I did go to the doctor and it's just a virus. I have drugs and water and kleenex. <BR> <BR> Onward! <BR> <BR> I've been looking at my goals and just breaking them down a little bit more, kind of allowing myself to dream about what it feels like ... Sat, 1 Oct 2011 17:30:42 EST still hereeeee! I am sick. Many of you have been sending me adorable messages to make sure that I am still around and I AM! I'm just not doing anything I should, I'm just laying in bed trying to get over this hateful cold. I got sick Saturday, and it's now Tuesday. Aside from that I'm just busy with grad school. I can't promise perfection, but I promise to try my best every day :) <BR> <BR> Hugs (from 10ft distance) <BR> Sarah T Tue, 27 Sep 2011 13:00:55 EST darkness and plans it's so dark! I get up at 5:30am on the days I have to go to my internships and it's so hard! But my deal with myself is to just take each day as it comes and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm hoping that I can find a job close to me once I graduate, or if I get a job that isn't - I am moving down the street from the school because this 5:30am stuff is RIDICULOUS! hahaha <BR> <BR> Because I'm getting divorced, I have moved across town. So my internships are all set up around w... Wed, 21 Sep 2011 09:39:28 EST beating depression Hello again! Wow I feel kind of addicted to this again. The response from all of you has been so great that I am thrilled to be back! <BR> <BR> I went to a coffee shop to do my homework today, I can't seem to get it done here at home because there are too many distractions. It feels so good to get things done, and be out in the world. I lost so much of my life to depression, I just have to let the anger go and move forward. Just acknowledge that it happened, hug myself, and move on. <BR> <... Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:35:55 EST so much to say.. well it's Sept 2011. I'm staying positive amidst a whirlwind of changes. I'm not even sure most of my old friends are still logging in, but I suppose I will find the ones that are here, and make new friends too. <BR> <BR> I'm back at the beginning, or sort of. There is just so much to say! I won't try to squeeze it all in now, but I'm making a total life change right now and it feels overwhelming and exhilarating all at the same time. Some days I love it, some days I cry. <BR> <BR> I'm bac... Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:54:43 EST Take 2.... This time for realz yo. Ok listen. Life can be hard. Really really really hard. But it can also get better! <BR> <BR> I did it once and I can do it again. I'm back up to 273 lbs. I'm not going to let that get me down. I'm going to be glad that I feel normal enough to be ready to work on it again. <BR> <BR> On Thursday I went to the gym for the first time in over a year. I am starting with a personal trainer again 3 times a week. I am here on sparkpeople. I'm ready to start working at it again and I'm going to focu... Sat, 2 Apr 2011 19:46:04 EST Coming Out of the Tunnel I'm sorry friends. <BR> <BR> I'm sorry that I disappeared, that I haven't been there to cheer you on, and if I let you down in any way. <BR> <BR> The last few months have been some of the most difficult I've been through, and part of my illness was being completely unable to communicate. I've struggled with depression off and on throughout my life, but I've never hit bottom quite like I did in March. Some would identify it as a "nervous breakdown" but to me it felt more like hitting a wall... Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:56:42 EST "I let go of the past so I can create health now." I'm starting over. <BR> <BR> Today I begin again. <BR> I will log my food. <BR> I will go to the gym. <BR> I will log my exercise. <BR> I will drink my water. <BR> I will start reading "The Spark" and I will actually follow all the directions it gives me. I will do the work this time. <BR> I will follow the example of my friend Botzz - "Eat Less & Move More." <BR> <BR> I think my main problem is an all-or-nothing attitude. It bleeds into other areas of my life too. Comes with being s... Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:12:24 EST Some more stuff about me: yet another blog survey 1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00 am <BR> <BR> 2. How do you like your steak? rare to medium rare - depends on how nice the meat is.. are we talking cheap grocery store or fancy meat market? <BR> <BR> 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Avatar 3D. Loved it. Want to see it again. <BR> <BR> 4. What is your favorite TV show? Lost!!! <BR> <BR> 5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I like it a lot where I live - the Pacific Northwest will prob... Mon, 1 Mar 2010 23:29:03 EST Ouch. My gardening hurts! I cannot kneel. I can't get on my knees at all, or crouch down. I think I might be one of the only people in the world that does not find child's pose (yoga) comfy and relaxing. I find it torturous. <BR> <BR> This weekend I pulled an amazing amount of weeds in my front yard. Not the evil blackberries ("Satanberries" is what my DH calls them) - those are in the back - but the stuff in the front that the neighbors have to look at. We got it about 50% cleaned out. And I raked the gravel. Whoeve... Mon, 22 Feb 2010 22:30:58 EST Just Say No to Blackberries This whole graduate school thing is great and all, but it is truly disrupting my weight loss juju and my sleep. <BR> <BR> I am a big fan of coming home from work, doing whatever *I* want to do (for example, watching tv or going to the gym) and then going to bed. And then I sleep. 8, maybe 9 hours. Then I go to work, and do it all again. That is how my schedule is most lovely. <BR> <BR> But right now I'm putting in a few 14+ hr days per week and it is totally messing with my sleeping. I am ... Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:14:50 EST Vitamin D & Sunshine! <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <em>67</em> <em>273</em> <BR> <BR> I've been taking Vitamin D every day for almost a week now, and I must say that I think it's really helping. It doesn't hurt that the ... Mon, 15 Feb 2010 15:09:36 EST just a silly/fun blog survey When's the last time you ran? Thursday at the little lake by my house. There were two other runners and we kept passing each other. <BR> <BR> Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? Nope, I let that style go in my early 20s. <BR> <BR> What are you dreading right now? I have a pile of homework to do for my weekend seminar class - tonight and all day tomorrow. But after this weekend there's only one more to go to finish this class! Woot! <BR> <BR> Do you get the full 8 hours of sl... Fri, 12 Feb 2010 11:51:00 EST the blahs. I'm not really sure what's going on with me. I guess I've been feeling blue for longer than I would like to admit. <BR> <BR> I think of myself as a happy person. I know what to do to help myself feel better, but I've been struggling to do those things. All I WANT to do is sit on the couch, eat cookies, drink too much coffee and dream about camping, hiking and climbing in the sun. Maybe it's the "winter blahs" after all.. <BR> <BR> What I NEED to do is get myself to the gym to workout, eat ... Thu, 11 Feb 2010 15:14:49 EST Perspective One day you are living your life, worrying about what shoes to wear with your outfit.. You are wondering how you'll pay this bill or that bill. You might be obsessing over losing weight (I know I've never done that!! haha) .. and then something happens that reminds you that life is so short. <BR> <BR> Today a young family I know lost their father and husband WAY too soon. And another new friend told me the story of how she lost her husband to cancer last year. All I know is that I want to hu... Wed, 10 Feb 2010 01:39:09 EST Kate Runs Again!! My Hood To Coast Team Leader, KEAKMAN, has been out for many months with a nasty stress fracture. Here is the video of her much-anticipated arrival back on the scene!!!!! Sun, 7 Feb 2010 14:58:04 EST And THEN I said.... I'm going to make this short. You'll understand why when you hear the point I'm about to make. <BR> <BR> I talk about myself too much. <BR> <BR> I catch myself doing it all the time: on the phone, at school, meeting new people - I just have this way of "relating" which equals steering the conversation toward me and my AMAZING insights on life. Booo. <BR> <BR> So it's my goal this week (starting Monday) to not talk about myself, and instead replace the desire to "relate" with questions abo... Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:41:40 EST tangible goals I know, I know, 2 posts in one day is just too much. But I feel like I have something in me that needs to be written. <BR> <BR> I need to set a solid goal to work toward. Something tangible that I can get behind and really start making strides. I think I need a weight loss deadline. A short term one - something that feels possible, but also that I have to work for. And it needs a good reward, or a painful punishment. <BR> <BR> With the kids I work with, I'm actually not a big fan of "punish... Mon, 25 Jan 2010 02:37:00 EST The Eye of the Hurricane - quiet, peace, calm I was reading a friend's blog this morning - someone who is struggling emotionally and physically. I started thinking about what I can say to someone who is feeling so low.. I decided to share this theory with everyone. It's called Mind Thought Consciousness. I'm sharing it in a very simple explanation, you can research it on the internet if you find it interesting. There is a lot of info out there! <BR> <BR> It starts with the idea that we are all set on a kind of default - that we're perfe... Sun, 24 Jan 2010 12:51:43 EST Back to the grind!! Woot! Well I'm back to normal, I think, if that's even possible. <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> Today I got up at 6am, and I was so tired last night that I finally went to bed at a more reasonable hour. I've got both of my internships rolling - and by Friday I will have started all my classes for the semester. Finally!! <BR> <BR> It's grueling to say the least, but it's nice to feel like I have purpose again instead of sitting around the house all day feeling kind of sorry for myself or just kind of em... Thu, 21 Jan 2010 09:57:31 EST Can you say "Type A"? So I may be a little over the top. I am totally obsessed with planning my vacation/anniversary trip which is 7.5 months away in August! <BR> <BR> We are riding Amtrak to Glacier National Park for a two-week backpacking trip and it's all I can think about!! I'm so excited! <BR> <BR> I've been researching backcountry trails and campsites, restaurants and lodges (for when we come out of the woods), and also gear, safety and first-aid, and looking at lots of other people's pictures online. Ye... Mon, 11 Jan 2010 11:21:25 EST Celebrating today! Whoo hoo! I DID IT! <BR> <BR> Today is Jan 8, which means it's one week since I started my program over again. I finished a whole week, am getting adjusted to the calories, and are you ready for this?? <BR> <BR> I LOST 9 LBS!!!! <BR> <BR> I know a bunch of that is water weight, but I will accept it gratefully. I know that I have one more week of ridiculous stellar weight loss, and then it's back to 2 lbs per week... but what a great jump start ya know?! <BR> <BR> Next week I start school again, and... Fri, 8 Jan 2010 12:56:56 EST slowly and surely Each day I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, make good choices at each meal, and stick to my plan. I'm struggling to adjust to lower calories, and feeling hungry but I know that I'll get another week into it and I'll feel a lot better. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I'm going for a walk with a friend, my first exercise in weeks.. I'll start slowly, but I'll be back. <BR> <BR> I had a scary moment with some peanut butter cookies yesterday, but we made it through - me without the cookies ... Tue, 5 Jan 2010 22:08:50 EST Feeling better **Hey Red Team - this is a repost from our chat room *** <BR> <BR> First of all BOO BUCKS - GO DUCKS!! I was so disappointed for U of O yesterday, but it was a great game and I loved seeing the good sportsmanship at the end. (am I a school counselor, or what?!) They all seemed sincerely happy to have participated at all. Everyone won if you ask me. :) <BR> <BR> Now - I'm back. I'm doing well. I had a perfect eating day yesterday and I'm well on my way today. I'm still sick with this cold -... Sat, 2 Jan 2010 14:50:29 EST Starting over again <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I know it's cliche but I LOVE New Year's Day. People everywhere become self-aware, if only for a moment, and they look inside at what needs to be aired out, tinkered with, or even completely overhauled. The first of January represents a fresh start. <BR> <BR> For many here, there is no fresh start necessary. For many it's just another day in the grind, another day with small successes or setbacks, it's a same old-sam... Wed, 30 Dec 2009 13:05:45 EST Dark Place I am in such a very dark place right now. I haven't been to the gym in a couple of weeks, and I'm a black hole of negative self-thoughts and food. I have been stuffing my face with every bad thing in front of me - candy, cookies, bread... it's bad. <BR> <BR> The worst part is the negative self talk. I actually feel scared with how the fat person within is taking over my thoughts. I feel like I did when I first started - overwhelmed, tired, unable to control myself, unable to care enough to s... Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:05:35 EST Catching up I'm playing catchup in almost every aspect of my life today!! Here is an update on the climbers, and below that is more info about my life :) <BR> <BR> I promised I would update you on the climbers from my last blog. The news is sad. After 5 days in white-out conditions, they have changed the search to a recovery mission. They truly don't believe that they could have survived the last few days of weather up there. The 29 yr old's father said that he believes she would want to be buried there... Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:55:38 EST good thoughts and prayers needed Hi Spark Family, <BR> <BR> As a rock climber, I'm part of a community much like this one. Like minded, wonderful people who do incredible things. <BR> <BR> Tonight I heard that one climber was killed and two are missing on Mt. Hood. They were all experienced and well-equipped climbers, and I have hope that the remaining two will be found alive. Thank you for keeping them and their families, and also the emergency climb team in your thoughts and prayers tonight. <BR> <BR> Yet another reaso... Sun, 13 Dec 2009 02:00:46 EST Fog Alert It's so foggy I can't see my hand in front of my face. I have my seat pulled up as far as I can, and I'm sitting up really straight. I have the headlights on, but they aren't helping right now. I'm straining my eyes to see through the thick blanket of fog that's settled on the valley as I make my descent. I'm only driving about 30 miles an hour right now, but I've gone faster. I even stopped once for a little break, but I jumped right back onto the road before too long. I have to get to the d... Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:32:17 EST Hood To Coast "FUN"draising I'm getting focused. I have 9 months until Hood To Coast. I need to make my fundraising strategy so that I can reach and exceed my fundraising goal for American Cancer Society. (my mantra is ask early and often) <BR> <BR> First - I need to decide on a goal. $500 is the minimum I want to raise, but I think I'm capable of more. I'd like to go for $1000. I wish I worked for a big company so that I could get a corporate match, but that isn't going to happen in my world. So I have to get creativ... Sat, 5 Dec 2009 11:17:30 EST my body is a temple I just joined a new gym. I had to. I needed to find a place that was closer to my new house, one I could get to in the midst of my extremely busy schedule. I feel horribly guilty about this because I LOVE my ladies at NW Women's Fitness and I am incredibly loyal to them. This was a decision I had to make for myself, in order to stay focused on my goals and not slide away into oblivion. I haven't told anyone yet. I don't even know how to start. I feel like such a let down, but it was something... Thu, 3 Dec 2009 13:28:22 EST so... it WAS a rib muscle after all. I guess. I got blood drawn at the doc yesterday, and this early early morning I got an ultrasound. By 5:30pm the doctor's office had called - isn't that shocking? - and they let me know that they saw absolutely nothing in any test. Clean bill of health! <BR> <BR> So I guess it *wasn't* gall bladder after all?? I'm not totally convinced. <BR> <BR> But doc says that it was a pinched nerve (which has too complicated of a name for me to write here) so that's what I'm going with. <BR> <BR> So carry on t... Wed, 2 Dec 2009 01:52:35 EST