TEENY_BIKINI's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=TEENY%5FBIKINI TEENY_BIKINI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ The Hook In My Toe http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5609594 <link>thejigglybits.com/2014/01/29/the-hoo<BR>k-in-my-toe/ </link> Wed, 29 Jan 2014 20:34:17 EST Fork In The Road http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5540905 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/11/14/fork-in<BR>-the-road/ </link> Thu, 14 Nov 2013 09:27:24 EST Don't Feed The Animals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5482404 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/09/10/dont-fe<BR>ed-the-animals/ </link> Wed, 11 Sep 2013 08:03:41 EST The Question Game http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5415737 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/07/09/the-que<BR>stion-game/ </link> Tue, 9 Jul 2013 16:01:06 EST Something So Foul http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5380020 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/06/06/somethi<BR>ng-so-foul/ </link> Thu, 6 Jun 2013 08:09:38 EST Lifting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5350950 <link>thejigglybits.com/ </link> Thu, 9 May 2013 12:14:49 EST Mission http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5323186 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/04/14/mission<BR>-fill-my-hole/ </link> Sun, 14 Apr 2013 20:41:11 EST Drag Queens Are Always Right http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5298261 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/03/24/drag-qu<BR>eens-are-always-right/ </link> Sun, 24 Mar 2013 13:29:03 EST Too Much... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5286829 <link>thejigglybits.com/ </link> Thu, 14 Mar 2013 17:45:49 EST My Body Pledge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5270248 Just sharing this wonderful blog about self-love from another spark diva. <BR> <BR> <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo<BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5267578 </link> <BR> <BR> Gotta love those jiggly bits. Woot! Sat, 2 Mar 2013 20:19:24 EST Farting in Bed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5263938 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/02/25/farting<BR>-in-bed/ </link> Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:54:19 EST How Hard Could It Be? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5239619 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/02/06/how-har<BR>d-could-it-be/ </link> Wed, 6 Feb 2013 00:58:05 EST Proper Pervert http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5199222 <link>thejigglybits.com/2013/01/09/proper-<BR>pervert/ </link> Wed, 9 Jan 2013 17:48:53 EST Please send support to another spark member... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5191473 Hi, <BR> <BR> If you have time, please stop by this Sparkpage and offer support for this horrible family tragedy. X <BR> <BR> <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo<BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5191031 </link> <BR> <BR> Thank you. <BR> <BR> <em>247</em> Sat, 5 Jan 2013 11:45:54 EST Doing Crap That Worked in 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5182891 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/12/31/doing-c<BR>rap-that-worked-in-2012/ </link> <BR> <BR> Happy New Year! <BR> <BR> <em>410</em> Mon, 31 Dec 2012 22:04:58 EST The Magic Bottle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5175304 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/12/24/the-mag<BR>ic-bottle/ </link> Mon, 24 Dec 2012 16:06:08 EST Thinking is hard. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5171121 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/12/19/thinkin<BR>g-is-hard-lets-have-bad-sex/ </link> Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:20:45 EST Top 6 Reasons Not to Have Kids http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5163254 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/12/11/top-6-r<BR>easons-not-to-have-kids/ </link> Tue, 11 Dec 2012 12:56:29 EST Nothing Ruins Christmas Like Shopping http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5157205 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/12/05/nothing<BR>-ruins-christmas-like-shopping/ </link> Wed, 5 Dec 2012 14:20:18 EST Featured on Freshly Pressed! Woo Hoo! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5155003 The Jiggly Bits was featured on Freshly Pressed today. Every day the editor picks 10 blogs. <BR> <BR> Just ten from over 450,000. <BR> <BR> New blogs are chosen every day so the link below will mean nothing tomorrow: <BR> <BR> <link>wordpress.com/#!/fresh/ </link> <BR> <BR> It is a pretty big deal [to me, anyway.] There are so many great "technically-trained" writers on Wordpress, and I am just a regular person who found out by accident - from my friends here - that writing is what I a... Mon, 3 Dec 2012 17:02:48 EST Tales From My Vagina Fridays #3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5151926 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/11/30/tales-f<BR>rom-my-vagina-fridays-3/ </link> Fri, 30 Nov 2012 18:07:00 EST The Booby Machine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5144660 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/11/23/the-boo<BR>by-machine/ </link> Fri, 23 Nov 2012 23:18:53 EST Escape From Thanksgiving Alcatraz http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5142825 Have a great one, gorgeous! <BR> <BR> <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/11/21/escape-<BR>from-thanksgiving-alcatraz/ </link> <BR> <BR> Yum! Wed, 21 Nov 2012 19:19:10 EST Tale From My Vagina Fridays #2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5137551 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/11/16/tales-f<BR>rom-my-vagina-fridays-2/ </link> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 14:43:16 EST It Happens All the Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5134693 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/11/14/it-happ<BR>ens-all-the-time/ </link> Wed, 14 Nov 2012 01:36:56 EST New blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5123289 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/11/03/khloe-k<BR>ardashians-nipples/ </link> Sun, 4 Nov 2012 08:05:12 EST Give Everything http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5118798 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/10/30/give-ev<BR>erything/ </link> Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:28:17 EST Tales...Friday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5115183 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/10/27/tales-f<BR>rom-my-vagina-friday/ </link> Sat, 27 Oct 2012 23:49:13 EST Type Faster http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5111261 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/10/24/type-fa<BR>ster/ </link> Wed, 24 Oct 2012 13:15:55 EST The Girl With Pigtails http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5109972 <link>thejigglybits.com/2012/10/21/the-gir<BR>l-with-pigtails/ </link> Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:15:17 EST The Last Spark Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5087569 Hey there, <BR> <BR> I am leaving this information here as a reference as I do not post blogs here anymore... <BR> <BR> If you are looking for my blogs, the are my new blog called "The Jiggly Bits." <BR> <BR> <BR> Here is the link to the new and only blog: <BR> <BR> <link>www.thejigglybits.com </link> <BR> <BR> If you want, you can subscribe to that blog by clicking the SUBSCRIBE button on the top-right. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> You can also LIKE US ON FACEBOOK. The blogs are posted th... Fri, 5 Oct 2012 08:45:28 EST Just Get Naked http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5076792 Hey gorgeous, <BR> <BR> I moved the content of this blog to its new home, my new blog: <BR> <BR> <link>thejigglybits.com/ </link> <BR> <BR> Feel free to drop by and comment. Just have a good old time. <BR> <BR> Hugs. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> Thu, 27 Sep 2012 08:44:26 EST Just Another Muffler Birthday Story http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4999236 Hey gorgeous, <BR> <BR> I moved the content of this blog to its new home, my new blog: <BR> <BR> <link>thejigglybits.com/ </link> <BR> <BR> Feel free to drop by and comment. Just have a good old time. <BR> <BR> Hugs. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> Fri, 3 Aug 2012 09:17:11 EST Mind Your Portions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4978857 Hey gorgeous, <BR> <BR> I moved the content of this blog to its new home, my new blog: <BR> <BR> <link>thejigglybits.com/ </link> <BR> <BR> Feel free to drop by and comment. Just have a good old time. <BR> <BR> Hugs. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> Fri, 20 Jul 2012 08:19:49 EST If Ice Cream Married Cheesecake http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4822899 Hey gorgeous, <BR> <BR> I moved the content of this blog to its new home, my new blog: <BR> <BR> <link>thejigglybits.com/ </link> <BR> <BR> Feel free to drop by and comment. Just have a good old time. <BR> <BR> Hugs. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> Fri, 6 Apr 2012 07:59:57 EST The Great Snoring Caper http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4675505 Hey gorgeous, <BR> <BR> I moved the content of this blog to its new home, my new blog: <BR> <BR> <link>thejigglybits.com/ </link> <BR> <BR> Feel free to drop by and comment. Just have a good old time. <BR> <BR> Hugs. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> Thu, 12 Jan 2012 07:54:03 EST Day 747: So Very Ordinary http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4625036 Question: How much money do you charge each person attending Thanksgiving dinner at your house? <BR> <BR> A**Nothing. I just want to get together and catch up with loved ones. <BR> <BR> B**Let’s go pot luck – that way no one bares sole responsibility for the expenses. <BR> <BR> C**Fifty bucks a head, yo. Go hard or go home. <BR> <BR> Clearly, the answer is C. Thanksgiving is an entrepreneur’s dream. <BR> <BR> Next question: How many times should a brother-in-law slap his sister-in-law on... Wed, 14 Dec 2011 07:33:32 EST Day 720: The Baby Boy I Left Behind http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4588269 I told him our first meeting should be in New York - someplace neutral with millions of people [and far away from my house]. <BR> <BR> First of all… <BR> <BR> Who asks a stranger – a woman [I mean me] that they’ve talked to twice on the phone – “When can I come to your house?” <BR> <BR> That’s not cute. That’s creepy. <BR> <BR> I will tell you who… <BR> <BR> Ted Bundy. Assorted criminals. Your family. And other people who should not know your address – let alone, come to your house. ... Thu, 17 Nov 2011 08:38:53 EST Day 684: The Saccharine Spaceship http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4531683 I did it. <BR> <BR> A major accomplishment. <BR> <BR> I changed the light bulb in my kitchen. <BR> <BR> Not impressed yet? <BR> <BR> What if I told you it had been two weeks since I could see after 8 pm in the magic kitchen place because I didn’t feel like looking for a step stool AND a light bulb? <BR> <BR> I opened the refrigerator to illuminate the kitchen. <BR> <BR> What if I told you the new underwear I brought at Target - just so I didn’t have to do the laundry - are now dirty an... Wed, 12 Oct 2011 08:44:39 EST Day 596: Obedience School http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4427689 She is standing behind me with a burning question. <BR> <BR> “I see you have switched your fork,” she says intently. [I totally forgot to send a memo. Good catch.] <BR> <BR> This is called - having a stalker. Who notices stuff like that? [I mean really.] <BR> <BR> “You are now using metal,” she informs me with the typical stalker awareness for detail. “You used to use plastic.” [Yes, I am living on the wild side.] <BR> <BR> I would tell her to go away, but words do not work. <BR> <BR> W... Mon, 15 Aug 2011 08:45:15 EST Day 584: A Breast Lift, A Drag Queen, and Another Birthday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4403930 I am lying on my back. She is lifting my breast. My breast is where it always is when I am lying on my back. <BR> <BR> My armpit. <BR> <BR> I don't remember ever having pert, dainty orbs. Mine have always been pro-gravity and um… casual. <BR> <BR> [Question: Perky breasts. Real thing or urban legend? Discuss.] <BR> <BR> The "sisters" are still fab though [and always ready for their close-up]... <BR> <BR> Now, she is lifting my other breast - in an awkward way [which clearly is the only... Wed, 3 Aug 2011 07:27:24 EST Day 548: Clean Your Own House http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4327606 I consider many things before I use the work bathroom. Hermetically sealing my body in plastic, determining how long I can hold my breath, and wearing gloves to avoid the germ-infested door handle come to mind. <BR> <BR> Giving away my crap? Not so much. <BR> <BR> And yet people bring in all kinds of unwanted toiletries to litter the bathroom counter. Stinky lotions. Hand soaps. Dental floss. Hair dye. <BR> <BR> Just sitting there, waiting to be adopted. <BR> <BR> The other day someone... Tue, 28 Jun 2011 08:14:15 EST Day 533: Everyone is Not Your Lover http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4295020 She does this cooing baby talk voice like she is trying to seduce me. <BR> <BR> It makes me want to metamorphically slap her. <BR> <BR> Here is the deal: a) if you are not a bird or Denzel Washington, do not seductively coo at me and b) baby talk is dumb unless you are a baby. <BR> <BR> I don’t understand people who need to seduce their way through a conversation when they want something. Everyone is not your lover. <BR> <BR> I am wearing my headphones and looking studious, which is th... Mon, 13 Jun 2011 07:57:12 EST Day 516: Permission http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4259375 “There is going to be a family reunion,” my only likeable family member said coyly on the phone. <BR> <BR> [And it felt like a bird just shat on my head.] <BR> <BR> My cousin has an unbelievable amount of patience for idiots. If she is related to the idiot, she also believes she has some kind of obligation to tolerate abusive, rude and/or dismissive behavior. <BR> <BR> She believes that deep down inside a big biznitch is a little teddy bear waiting to be hugged. <BR> <BR> I believe th... Fri, 27 May 2011 09:24:39 EST Day 498: A Special Kind of Duffel Bag http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4219649 Honestly, I can’t believe something so loud shot from my bumcheeks. <BR> <BR> It was like a massive truck backfiring, um… in a staff meeting. <BR> <BR> And I am well-aware that I am supposed to clench my bumcheeks until I am about to faint, easing out the organic bouquets like a gentle breeze on a spring day [that is totally the UFR - Universal Flatulence Rule]. <BR> <BR> As the diva of all things daring, RuPaul, would say – “Always be a laaaaaaaaaady.” <BR> <BR> But 11 a.m. is entirely t... Mon, 9 May 2011 07:17:29 EST Day 460: The Big Picture http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4133725 I was lying on my stomach. He was looking down at me as he lifted the edge of my shiny black panties with the extra wide band to rub minty cream in the nape of my back. <BR> <BR> Crud. <BR> <BR> Why am I always wearing the undies that come up to my navel when some dude is gonna see them? [Sigh.] <BR> <BR> His hands were so I’ve-never-done-hard-labor soft, caressing my back softly as some new age music crooned in the background. And I swear I smelled girly air freshener dancing through the... Fri, 1 Apr 2011 08:47:58 EST Day 435: The Uterus Patrol http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4072304 “He’s married, you know?” chided the lady holding my form hostage - and a card-carrying member of the uterus patrol [who I am defining as people who are entirely too involved/vocal about my single life.] <BR> <BR> For me, there are very good reasons not to chat with some people: a) it involves engaging with them for more than 5 seconds and b) it is like water torture. <BR> <BR> But the reason I asked “Who’s the new guy?” was because he was “new” - not because I was looking for random seed t... Mon, 7 Mar 2011 08:14:49 EST Day 415: Bring It to the Castle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4018946 The sun is out. The unusually cold weather has taken a vacation just for today. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day [one of the dumber made-up holidays] – I got up early to ride Denzel [my new Schwinn 240 indoor recumbent bike.] <BR> <BR> People always assume I don’t like Valentine’s Day because I am single. <BR> <BR> I don’t like made-up holidays that “require” me to buy things for adults with jobs. I remain gainfully employed to pay my mortgage, interrupt my beauty sleep, talk to a lot of pe... Tue, 15 Feb 2011 08:26:35 EST Day 400: The Finger and the Velvet Hammer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3976288 Flipping someone the bird outside of my car is a waste of a perfectly good finger. <BR> <BR> But that’s what happened last November [when the sugar hit the fan]… <BR> <BR> I was standing in front of the elevator, someone walked up behind me [for the 15 millionth time], and said “Take the stairs.” <BR> <BR> I had just come from the gym – tons of anger bubbled to the surface and my middle finger sprang up like a geyser [I know. Right? Can you say – anger issues?] <BR> <BR> Full-on finger h... Mon, 31 Jan 2011 08:17:15 EST Day 395: Remember the Fabulous http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3961654 “Do you think I need a haircut?” [Note to self: Must work on convincing people I am invisible.] <BR> <BR> “Nope,” I say quickly. “It looks amazing.” [It really did.] <BR> <BR> “Remember when my hair was dry and unhealthy?” [Yes, I keep these details in a notebook with your menstrual cycles - so I know when to call out sick.] <BR> <BR> “Um… no,” I reply in an effort to escape. “It’s fabulous. Just remember the fabulous.” <BR> <BR> She kind of rolls her eyes [as per usual - and I kind of l... Wed, 26 Jan 2011 02:42:30 EST