TBRUGH78's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=TBRUGH78 TBRUGH78's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Weight Loss in Spite of Sadness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5165615 To say the last 17 months has been hard is an understatement. I have had to experience obstacles and sadness like I never thought I would. <BR> <BR> July 2011: My great aunt passed away <BR> 1 year: Struggle to survive <BR> May 2012 : Broke my ankle <BR> June 2012: My mom had to have surgery <BR> July 2012: My mom and I lost our house due to a fire <BR> August 2012: Lived in hotels <BR> September 2012: Moved to a new city <BR> September 30, 2012: Shattered my knee, had to have 2 surgeries a... Thu, 13 Dec 2012 15:35:26 EST SparkPeople is my Hope! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4563882 I hate the way I look. Through the years of mental and physical abuse I have gained 110 pounds because of emotional eating.! <em>15</em> I avoid going out in public as often as possible because I feel so gross about my body. If I do go out I keep my head down and try not to make eye contact. Being this overweight is physically and mentally painful. I can't fit into certain seats, (I have even broken chairs) I have to walk sideways through a turnstiles, get tired and out of breath easy, j... Tue, 1 Nov 2011 20:16:56 EST Get Back into the Saddle of Life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4468051 I can not believe I have not written anything but my grocery list and to do list in almost two months. I have almost forgotten how. I have totally let myself go, emotionally and physically. I can not believe it has been a year since I started trying to lose weight. July 2010. Seems so long ago, so much has happened. Every time I would start to lose weight and get into a routine, BAM, something would happen to change my course. When something major happens in your life, such as my great... Mon, 5 Sep 2011 19:13:32 EST REVAMPING My Spark Team HOPEnFUN http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4232922 It feels wonderful to be back on track with spark people. I have set my weight loss goals, redone my sparkpage, and now updated and added to my spark team HOPEnFUN. <BR> <BR> <link>teams.sparkpeople.com/HOPEnFUN </link> <BR> <BR> There are so many wonderful spark teams. Without these teams I probably would not have progressed as much as I have. I wanted to create a fun for everyone team. If anyone has anything they want added I will be happy to create the thread. <BR> <BR> I had to... Sat, 14 May 2011 21:29:31 EST I am Back Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4219887 I have been lost in the forest of nothingness and overload. But, I finally found a machete and cut my way through the thick darkness, thorn bushes and found a clearing. Now I am back on the path to a better me. A better me allows me to take care of those who need my help. <BR> <BR> I was horrified when I ran my BMI. Here are the results: <BR> <BR> BMI is over 40 (Obese Class 3 : Morbid Obesity) <BR> With a BMI of 40+ you have an extremely high risk of weight-related disease and prematu... Mon, 9 May 2011 09:17:21 EST So Far Not So Good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3917773 Well, just like many people I started 2011 with high hopes that THIS year will be better than the previous years. I made my resolutions and rang in the new year with high expectations. Then real life set in and the walls of my hopes and expectations came tumbling down as fast as Jack and Jill down the hill. <BR> <BR> I started the new year with a weird throat infection that no one knows what is was. I found out I need surgery on a cyst on my pinky finger. My aunt made her annual January t... Wed, 12 Jan 2011 12:45:07 EST Carpe Diem! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3867914 What a Month! <BR> Starting with my depression being way out of control at the beginning of December. I finally got that under control! <BR> <em>46</em> <BR> I can’t seem to lose much weight when I am doing everything right, and still think it is my thyroid but no one will test for it. So what can I do? Just keep trying! <BR> <em>15</em> <BR> Since Christmas Eve I have been sick and doctors are not sure what is wrong. Yesterday I went to the ER and was there for 4 hours and they said... Tue, 28 Dec 2010 21:10:52 EST Virtual Christmas 2010 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3867714 My family and I could not afford to buy each other gifts this year. So I came up with a creative solution, virtual Christmas! <BR> <BR> Step 1: Real table top Frasier fur Christmas tree decorated with an assortment of years of decorations. <BR> <em>446</em> <BR> Step 2: Each of us has a gift bag with our names on it. There are 3 of us: me, my mother, and my great aunt. <BR> <em>447</em> <BR> Step 3: I divided out catalogs for each of us to search through and find the gifts we would lik... Tue, 28 Dec 2010 19:27:03 EST I am DONE and READY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3823995 I am DONE being obese…….I am READY to be slender! <BR> I am DONE with worrying if I will fit into a seat…….I am READY to slide into booths and sit in chairs with ease! <BR> I am DONE being tired easily.…….I am READY to burst with energy! <BR> I am DONE not feeling good about my appearance..…….I am READY be confidant! <BR> I am DONE hating looking in the mirror.…….I am READY to look in every mirror and store window and SMILE! <BR> I am DONE hating trying on clothes.…….I am READY to go shopping... Sat, 4 Dec 2010 17:36:19 EST Thanksgiving-Giving Back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3807602 Thanksgiving traditionally was a time to give thanks for a bountiful harvest. Now it is traditionally celebrated as a day to spend with those you love and be thankful for all the blessings in your life. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/5/l850466446.jpg"> <BR> This year was one of the best Thanksgivings I have had in a long time. My family and I started our family traditions again. We had a traditional Thanksgiving meal together at our family home at the dining room ta... Fri, 26 Nov 2010 22:25:48 EST Sacrifice for My Family http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3802130 Life is about acceptance and once I accepted what I need to go for my family, I am OK now. <BR> <BR> My family is going through a really rough time right now and I feel so guilty. We all have to file for bankruptcy and I feel like if I had never left my abusive husband 8 years ago and moved back home my family would be in a better place, at least financially. They spent their all their money dry to help me. <BR> <BR> So yesterday after meeting with the attorney I decided the best thing... Tue, 23 Nov 2010 15:48:44 EST I am DONE-in a good way :)– Part 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3794551 Friday, November 19, 2010 <BR> <BR> I am DONE being obese. <BR> I am DONE with worrying if I will fit into a seat. <BR> I am DONE being tired easily. <BR> I am DONE not feeling good about my appearance. <BR> I am DONE hating looking in the mirror. <BR> I am DONE hating trying on clothes. <BR> I am DONE not living. <BR> I am DONE being “pretty if I lose weight” <BR> I am DONE having more than one chin. <BR> I am DONE with being so heavy I can’t be swept off my feet and be carried. <BR> I am D... Fri, 19 Nov 2010 16:28:17 EST I am DONE-in a good way :)– Part 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3793383 I am DONE being obese. <BR> I am DONE with worrying if I will fit into a seat. <BR> I am DONE being tired easily. <BR> I am DONE not feeling good about my appearance. <BR> I am DONE hating looking in the mirror. <BR> I am DONE hating trying on clothes. <BR> I am DONE not living. <BR> I am DONE being “pretty if I lose weight” <BR> I am DONE having more than one chin. <BR> I am DONE with being so heavy I can’t be swept off my feet and be carried. <BR> I am DONE weighing more than the men in my ... Fri, 19 Nov 2010 02:06:02 EST Progress Comes in Small Forms. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3788223 Since I started on my weight loss journey in July I am starting to notice small changes occurring in me without even trying. I am not forcing new habits upon myself they are just coming naturally. Weight loss is a journey, a life style change. I can already tell by taking it slowly, learning new habits, and connecting with other sparkers who understand what I am going through, this time I will succeed! I have found that being able to help motivate others helps to motivate me as well. Even ... Tue, 16 Nov 2010 15:53:37 EST After the Rain, the Rainbow has Appeared! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3783409 <em>437</em> <BR> Because of the love, support, and encouragement I have received from all my sparkfriends, family, best friend and God, I have learned that things really can and do get better. It is OK to cry and feel upset with what is going on in your life. What bothers you may not bother someone else, but that does NOT mean you cannot be upset, no matter how trivial you think it may be or others think. No matter the situation, you go through the stages of grief, ending in acceptance. T... Sun, 14 Nov 2010 16:18:37 EST When it rains it pours! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3772561 <em>27</em> <em>54</em> <em>27</em> <BR> I have felt for this past week so hopeless and overcome with despair. I feel like for the last 8 years I have been slowly sinking in quicksand. Every time I move I start sinking deeper and I don't know how to get out. I try to be happy, try to change my life, lose weight, but I sink deeper and deeper and now I am up to my neck. <BR> I went to see my best friend for Halloween weekend, we had a blast, but at a price. I ended up with an upper resp... Tue, 9 Nov 2010 11:02:08 EST Evaluating my life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3729165 In honor of “Evaluate your Life Day” on 10/19/2010 I have a (SSV) Challenge to write a blog about how I feel my life is going. I can tell you my life at 32 is defiantly NOT on track where I wanted to be at this point in my life. However, I am grateful for the blessings I do have! <BR> <BR> FAMILY <BR> I am very grateful for my family and friends. <BR> However, at this stage of my life I wanted to be married and have children. Also, my network is small due to my lack of socialization. <BR>... Wed, 20 Oct 2010 18:16:08 EST New Attitude, New Day, Filled with Hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3709324 Sunday I was so depressed because I tried so hard to lose weight and actually gained. But now I feel like a different person. Thanks to the wonderful Spark community I understand more about the weight loss process. I am now filled with a new hope and understanding that will get me through the bumps in the road on this weight loss journey. <BR> Thank you from the bottom of my <em>26</em> to ALL my Amazing Spark Friends for all the advice, support, and encouragement I needed to not give up!... Tue, 12 Oct 2010 01:23:10 EST What's Wrong with Me? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3705596 I am so discouraged, more depressed, and feel hopeless. Last week was the BEST week I have EVER accomplished , and I gained 2 pounds <em>39</em> <BR> I watched my calories like a hawk and exercised like crazy. I even ate healthier things like fruit and salad, and drank less soda and more water, I don't understand what's wrong? <em>33</em> <BR> I am starting to feel like no matter what I do I will always be overweight. I have so many health problems and am on so many medications I feel lik... Sun, 10 Oct 2010 14:33:12 EST 3 Month SparkVersary http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3704610 It has been a rough 3 months physically and emotionally. I have not lost any weight, in fact I gained, but I never gave up! I continued to log into SparkPeople to stay motivated, started exercising here and there, watching my calories and changing my eating habits. While I cannot see any outward changes, I have changed on the inside! I am so proud of myself! I can now exercise 30 min without collapsing, have more energy, I am starting to eat more fruits and vegetables, drink more water and ... Sat, 9 Oct 2010 23:26:14 EST My Seasons of Change http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3695778 Autumn is my favorite time of the year! <em>465</em> <BR> Autumn can be viewed in two ways. A lot like the "glass half empty, or glass half full" metaphor. Some consider fall to be a depressing season because trees and plants are wilting and dying. I chose to see fall as a time of rejuvenation, "out with the old, in with the new". Like a reptile shedding it's skin which will become stronger, shinier, and more beautiful. I feel fall is a chance to start shedding those unwanted pounds, ... Wed, 6 Oct 2010 03:21:27 EST Previous Food and Exercise goals and improvements http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3695760 July 2010: <BR> I am going to start slowly by getting in the habit of watching my calories and slowly working on my fitness and stamina daily! Also, log on to SparkPeople daily to spin for log in points. <BR> <em>17</em> <em>347</em> <BR> <BR> August 2010 <BR> I have met my goal of logging in. <em>248</em> <BR> Now I am incorporating into my fitness: <BR> 1. Wii Just Dance 15min <em>218</em> <BR> 2. Marisa Tome's 10 in 10 <em>418</em> <BR> 3. Anchor's Bay Healing Yoga for aches... Wed, 6 Oct 2010 02:44:53 EST Ready to take a chance again..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3652226 I have had a nightmare of a month. I have been struggling with school, electrocuting myself, catching my hair on fire, tripping and getting tons of bruises, dealing with cardiac problems. To add to everything my mother had her 2nd heart attack 2 weeks ago, and is now recovering, and now this week my great aunt is in the hospital recovering from some unknown infection. <BR> Now, I am "ready to take a chance again" and to try to start again. So, I lightened my load at school and now have ti... Sun, 19 Sep 2010 15:06:28 EST Diet Disaster! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3626258 I am suffering from a diet disaster! I was doing great, losing weight, participating with the SparkPeople community, then BAM my classes started and it all went with Jack and Jill down the hill! <em>46</em> <BR> Everything completely changed! I tried to fight it! But I lost the battle. I am so overwhelmed by homework that I don't have time to keep in touch with everyone, don't have time to track what I eat, and don't have time for fitness. Oh, and I gained the weight I lost back. I kee... Fri, 10 Sep 2010 20:25:20 EST Who said that? Who am I? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3583747 Yesterday I did and thought something I never thought I would.... <BR> <BR> I used to live such a sedentary life, and had so little stamina I would literally get in the car to drive two houses down. Well, yesterday my mom dropped me off at my doctor's office and drove across the street to take my aunt to her doctor's appointment. Without even thinking I said "If I get done first I will walk over there to meet you." As I was walking into the building I stopped for a second and said to myse... Sat, 28 Aug 2010 18:36:20 EST My Goals for the week of August 22-29 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3563456 I finally have started working toward my goal of going back to school. This is my first full week of classes: Ethics, Chemistry, Chemistry lab, Microcomputers, and Intermediate algebra. My main goal is to learn how to mange my time wisely and not get overwhelmed. I am excited, but also very nervous. Also, I need to fit my weight loss journey into my time wisely as well. I am embarking on a new chapter in my life….. <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>149</em> <em>150</em> <em>207</em> <em>203</em> ... Sun, 22 Aug 2010 19:32:38 EST Realizing old patterns http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3563197 Today I read a very inspiring and thought provoking blog by ASHLEY1977T. <BR> <BR> Thanks to her I started thinking about my own self-sabotaging and I realized my greatest weight loss obstacle was…ME!! <BR> <BR> As I had written in my previous blog earlier, I had the most successful week so far with fitness and tracking my calories. But I stayed the same weight. Now I realize THIS is where in the past I would throw in the towel and give up, saying to myself "what a waste of time. If I ca... Sun, 22 Aug 2010 17:33:40 EST Disappointed but not giving up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3562555 Another week has gone by and I am happy to say I had the most productive week in my weight loss journey. I stayed within my calorie range and exercised more than I have in a long time. <em>244</em> <BR> However, my weight remained the same <em>46</em> Despite this hurdle, I am not going to give up like I used to. I will just try harder, and be proud of the accomplishments I did achieve this past week! Baby steps, one day at a time! I will do better this week! <BR> <em>438</em> Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:18:42 EST NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3560201 While one of my main goals is to lose weight not only for self-confidence, but to become healthier, I also have another dream that has eluded me for 7 ½ years…going back to school! <BR> <BR> Despite having these dreams, "life happened" and I had to put my dreams on hold, but I never gave up hope! So, 7 ½ miserable years go by filled with heartbreak, obstacles, emotional and physical abuse, major depression, low self-esteem, and unhealthy weight gain. I am going to be honest my depression... Sat, 21 Aug 2010 14:40:57 EST Thank You SparkPeople Community! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3551263 Thank you to SparkPeople and the SP community! <BR> <em>304</em> <BR> I woke up feeling very depressed and unmotivated. I went ahead, logged in, checked off daily goals, read inspirational stories, and checked my email. Because of the support of all my Spark Friends I feel so much better and did not give up! <BR> <em>220</em> <BR> If it were not for SparkPeople I would have stayed in bed and wasted the day away! <BR> <em>252</em> Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:30:47 EST Exercise changed my mood! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3540022 I woke up just feeling blah today! I had to really push myself to exercise, and I did, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER!!! <BR> <em>244</em> Sun, 15 Aug 2010 18:47:42 EST Diet and Fitness Tracker Links http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3515395 http://www.webmd.com/diet/healthtool-metab<BR>olism-calculator <BR> <BR> http://www.webmd.com/diet/calc-bmi-plus <BR> <BR> <em>344</em> Sun, 8 Aug 2010 14:52:47 EST 1 Month Progress Report http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3506980 Well, it has been 1 month, and I have to say I am very disappointed AND proud of myself! I am disappointed that I actually gained 2 pounds, but at the same time I am proud that I did not give up and I am going to keep trying! Because of SparkPeople I have been able to keep mental focus on my ultimate goal of self-confidence and wellness. I have had a very stressful month for many different reasons, but I have kept my mind focused by logging on to SparkPeople and reading posts, logging in ... Thu, 5 Aug 2010 16:42:26 EST Getting back on track! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3491449 Today is Sunday, my start of the diet week. A new day, a new week, and a chance to start fresh. <BR> <em>67</em> Sun, 1 Aug 2010 13:15:13 EST Disapointed in myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3478469 It has been almost a month since I started trying to lose weight again! It has been a roller coaster! Not only with losing weight, but with outside stressors as well! Finals for school, health issues not only for me but for my family as well, and yes even a broken heart. <BR> <BR> <em>51</em> <BR> <BR> One of my worst habits when under stress is to drop my diet, and yes I will admit I binge when under stress. <BR> <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> This roller coaster tends to be a habit. I wi... Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:17:38 EST