TACDGB's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=TACDGB TACDGB's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ No zzzzzzzz's http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5770287 It has been a real long night. Sometimes in my life I battle with getting any sleep. I have been up all night. I took my sleep aid plus niquil as I have a cold. Nothing has worked. I spent time with God telling him what I needed. I hate when this happens. It really drains me. With having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder it hasn't been easy any way to get a good nights sleep. Having it with hypoglycemia causes nightmares which don't help either. So while most of the world is sound asl... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 05:55:10 EST Image Issues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5763180 <BR> <BR> After work last Sunday I stopped at the gas station for something cold to drink on my way home. The young (about 25) attendant asked me how I was doing. I told him I was headed home to eat lunch and hit the weight room at the gym. He said "You are in amazing shape" When I walked on home I was on cloud 9.. I felt so good about what he had said. I used it to fuel my workout that day. I was so proud of how far I have come in this healthy life style journey. But as I do know t... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 21:37:10 EST Quiet Morning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5746839 As I sit here on this quiet Saturday morning I am reminded that my life is anything but quiet. The only noise I hear is my wall clock ticking away. My Chihuahua Shelby is sound asleep in her little bed. My mind begins to race thinking about all that I have to do today. Saturday is usually my busiest day of the week. I have weight lifting and core class this morning. I have an afternoon walk and then church this evening. And in between all of that I need to do some more packing. I am i... Sat, 26 Jul 2014 09:49:18 EST Week 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5720277 I am on week 5 of my bodybuilding transformation. I have one more week to go. I do know that for me the training does not stop. I have enjoyed the chance to do this. I have upped my workouts. Now I do 3 days a week of weight machines. I like that. I have been told by other people that I have nice looking legs so the workouts must be helping. I wanted to lower my body fat % but I do know cardio helps with that and I can't do much of that as I sprained my ankle. Bummer.........But in s... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 00:16:18 EST A Milion bucks....not worth 10 cents http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717746 WOW......What a day yesterday was. It was a day I would not give 10 cents for. But it was a day that God gave a million bucks worth of caring for me. I do know that God loves me very much in spite of how I feel. I do know that it saddens God's heart to see me hurt so much yesterday. But I do know that today is a new beginning a new change to have a fresh start. But I do know that yesterday was a day where I can look back on it now and say WOW..! I say that because I have come along wa... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 10:05:12 EST For Life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708823 During this 6 week body makeover challenge I am learning that I am training for life. I am learning how to be accountable to myself. When my alarm goes off I get up...put my workout clothes on........hang out with Jesus then get ready to kill my workouts. I am learning how to do this for me and no one else. I love the way I get to redesign my body. I love that sore feeling when I have done leg day. I love seeing my muscles growing. I love to find new ways to eat clean. I use to hate l... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 10:42:15 EST Training update........keeping me accountable http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5705419 I believe that with a life style change you need to be accountable to yourself. I want to do this with my training plans for this 6 week body makeover as well. Sunday as I was out on my morning run I could tell that my legs were sore. I have been putting in some real good leg workouts with the machines at the gym. The leg press machine I am up to pressing 100 lbs. The leg extension machine I can do 115 lbs. I really worked my legs hard on Saturday so it showed on Sunday morning. This m... Wed, 28 May 2014 18:18:29 EST Let The.......Training http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5697600 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2003768710.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I signed up at Bodybuilding.com for the Best Self (BPI) 6 week body makeover. They give you 6 weeks to design a new you. I love the fact that I get to do this. It is helping me take my training to a whole new level. I love the personal motivation I am getting from this. It cost nothing to enter. You can win a boat load of prizes including 10 thousand dollars cash. This morning I woke up and hit the trail fo... Sun, 18 May 2014 10:53:42 EST looking in the mirror http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5623592 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2087011330.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Today I was trying on a new out fit I had gotten in the mail. As I looked at myself I was reminded of the quote above, There are so many things I have let go of to become the person I am today. I unloaded Ben & Jerry's from my suit case. I knew that they were not my best friend.........but my worst enemy as they helped make me fat. I also ended my love affair with M&M's as they served me no purpose other tha... Fri, 14 Feb 2014 00:37:42 EST Dark Thirty http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5595699 I have the start of a nasty cold. I haven't slept well due to coughing a lot so I have been awake since dark thirty....For me that means time to think. I thought about all the things I had planned today. By now I would be at the gym running on a treadmill since the belt on mine broke. I was able to sign up for 2 months then I will be running outside. I also thought about how I will be missing weight lifting class. I love that class so much and I can see how much stronger I am getting. ... Thu, 16 Jan 2014 09:40:36 EST I need http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5575155 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/1/l313237845.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I have had an emotionally bad day so I need to remember this. I also need to remember that I can't change my past I can only change how I deal with it every day. I need to turn the negative into a positive. Sometimes for me that's easier said than done. I have tried today to do that..........It hasn't helped much. But I keep on trying. As I am off to bed I do have to remember that I have a God who's bigger t... Sun, 29 Dec 2013 23:48:18 EST Happy Birthday..........Blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5562479 I love this time of year as I do know that it is Jesus's birthday coming up on the 25th. I love all the pretty colors that come with it. I love seeing beautiful decorated Christmas trees. I love looking at all the lights on peoples houses. I love seeing nativity scenes out in yards. I love making peanut brittle and fudge to give away as gifts. For those reasons I love Christmas. But there is one BIG reason I HATE this time of year. I battle the winter blues so bad. I hate the fact I... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 22:45:35 EST One Hell OF A Ride............ http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5553349 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1130899503.jpg"> <BR> <BR> As I was running on my treadmill I was thinking about my life. This message above explains where I am at today. My life has been one hell of a ride. I do know that sometimes it comes up to bite me hard. I feel that today is one of those days. But I do also know I don't let it stop me from doing what I need to do. So that is why I was on my treadmill as I do know it's good for me. I am big believer in taking... Sat, 30 Nov 2013 10:28:02 EST Being accountable http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5550289 There are so many things I have learned in this healthy life style journey. One of the most important things I learned is to be accountable to your self. I try every day to do this. I have had moments like last week where I did not want to use my treadmill.......but I did it. This morning I had a moment where I did not want to go to weight lifting class but after the class was over I was glad I went. I think it's so important to be accountable to yourself. It's your body...your life sty... Mon, 25 Nov 2013 22:20:28 EST It's The Season http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5506463 It's the season. For some it's the football season. For others it's the Fall season. Now for me it's the changing of the seasons. I have changed my workouts. It's so much cooler and darker in the mornings that now I am running or doing HIIT workouts on my treadmill instead of running outside. I am also changing what I am eating. Now I am looking into some good soup recipes instead of eating salads. For me it's also the attitude changing season. I am so not a fan of winter.........Hate... Sun, 6 Oct 2013 23:01:48 EST Don't know what to do. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5481110 Here I am sitting in front of my computer. I made this promise to myself I would write instead of eat. I am on a continual journey to make more positive choices in how I handle things from my heart instead of eating away the pain. I am going to break the cycle of doing this. <BR> I have had a physically good day. My morning run was so nice......I went up one of the steepest hills in town. Weight lifting class kicked my butt. I went up 2 lbs. in bicep weight. I looked in the mirror at t... Mon, 9 Sep 2013 22:31:08 EST Sunshine.......... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5479079 I have some people in my life call me "Sunshine". I don't mind that they do. I had asked why they named me that. I was told that I have a sunny attitude. Well that is nice to know. But to be honest today I so do not feel that way. I have been grouchy all most all day. But so far I have not let it effect my eating healthy. I also kept up on my workouts too. Weight lifting class went well and so did my morning run. So I do know that those are good things. I do know why I am grumpy as ... Sat, 7 Sep 2013 23:19:22 EST Ben and Jerry's and Jesus Christ....... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5466668 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1974223879.jpg">As I sit here writing this I think about my life these days. It is a life in places where I could just sit on the couch with a quart of Ben and Jerry's with a spoon and eat away the anger hurt and pain of life. But I don't do that as Jesus has taught me a better way. I just got home from my 3 mile run. I had a clean breakfast and next I am off to weight lifting class. All of these things are a better way. I do know th... Mon, 26 Aug 2013 10:25:55 EST I am http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5430894 Jesus said "I am the light of the world". He knew without a doubt who He was. He never questioned that. He never second guessed it. When Peter told Him who He was He accepted that. I must admit I am on that quest. With having Borderline Personality Disorder it comes with having that. I never know who I am. I can't see the real me. The me that others say they see (in a positive way) or the me that Jesus sees. I still have issues with thinking I am fat. I still feel not good enough f... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 18:09:21 EST Not enough zzzzzzzzzzzzz's http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5395087 Life has been one adventure ride. As I sit here being reminded of this I also sit here tired. Last night I had a bad nightmare. Not unusual for me. With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Hypoglycemia comes nightmares. Some times I feel I could be a writer for Stephen King. Last nights nightmare woke me up afraid and I called Dennis. He listened to me, tried to console me on the phone. He also tried to cheer me up with his sense of humor. I told him that I am tired of the bad dreams. ... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 10:44:18 EST Stressed But Blessed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5385320 Right now I feel so stressed. I do the best I can to handle the stress. I eat right. I keep up with my workouts. I chat with God about it. So even tho I do these things some times the stress is still there. In my life stress comes and goes. I have always been that way. But even tho I have this stress I do know I have been blessed too. Last week I started my new part time job. I work 2 hours a day 5 days a week at a daycare center as their cleaning lady. I love my new job. The boss... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 00:41:01 EST Rambling moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365195 Sometimes I need to ramble on about my day. I figure it's better than eating my way through the kitchen. I use to do that but not any more. YEA 4 ME.....! So here goes my thoughts on today. I woke up to rain. It does not help my arthritis any. But I did not let it stop me from going to my spin bike class. I really worked up a sweat at class. My class was one of those try it once and see if I like it things. So now I have come to love it. I decided that since it was a rainy day I wo... Thu, 23 May 2013 00:23:45 EST Frustrated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5361674 I feel so frustrated at this moment. I will start out by saying I had a good day even though I feel this way. The kids in the nursery today were fun. After work I went to a young girls 18th birthday party. It was fun. So even though with this I still feel frustrated. I have sleeping issues. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it makes it a challenge to sleep some times. So I am tired a lot. That is so frustrating. I take Melatonin and even with that I don't always sleep well. ... Sun, 19 May 2013 23:51:17 EST Getting off my chest http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5338839 Today has been one of those day...... So now I need to get it off my chest. I always feel better when I do. I have had lots of good things happen today. I love having girl moments so I got dressed for work........really looking like a girl...pink and all. I had a real healthy breakfast. I spent some quality time with Jesus.........and read my prayer book. I had a nice walk to work. The kids at church had so much fun playing with the new play dough. They had requested some so at home ... Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:15:15 EST A goal is....... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5330143 A goal without a plan is just a wish......I do know that. I have wished for so many things in my life. I wished to become a mom. I took my wish gave it a plan had a goal then found out through a fertility doctor that my body doesn''t make babies. For years I wished I was not fat. I wished and wished I could find the magic pill or cure to be thin. Then I asked God to help me. He did as He found Sparkspeople for me. He also helped me with my emotional eating. He gave me a love for exer... Sat, 20 Apr 2013 22:57:45 EST Rambling on...about my life. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5323375 I can tell as I am sitting here that I could very easily eat my way through the kitchen. So because of that I thought I'd ramble on about my life these days. Yesterday I was able to go to weight lifting class. Loved it........missed it. Love doing those dead squats. It felt so good to get back to it. Having that pinched nerve in my lower back was painful and no fun. It made it hard to sleep and to get around. It put all of my workouts on hold. And because of that I got a little depre... Sun, 14 Apr 2013 23:28:41 EST Missing it........not the Pain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5317840 I sit here in pain as I pinched a nerve in my lower back. When I think about the pain I am reminded of how much I miss my workouts. I have not been able to walk very far. I walked through walmart today and came home in pain. I have not been able to go to weight lifting class either...........Miss that so very much. In this pain I do know it's about taking care of myself. I have been putting ice on my back to help it improve. 2 friends have given me some pain medications to help. Anoth... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 00:18:57 EST Amazing Life..........But http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5279441 As I was doing dishes I was thinking about my life. God's allowed me some amazing adventures. I got to take a 10 day bus trip to California to see a friend. I loved walking up the hills in San Fransisco. I loved seeing Fishermans Warf. I took a train trip. Riding through West Glacier was so PRETTY..........WOW God made a pretty place. I had a 4 day motorcycle trip with Dennis. We had such a good time even tho his ice chest fell off his bike trailer and we dented the ice chest. Bei... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 21:42:14 EST My Mantra...... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5274990 As I sit here I think about wanting some chocolate. But my mantra about this is "Chocolate won't heal the pain"....! I have had a super busy day. I love those kind of days. Always have and always will. I have always loved being busy. This morning I had a morning staff meeting for my job. After that I had a therapy session. Then after that Dennis came to the house to have lunch.........then we had a play date. We went to look for some maps for a motorcycle ride he is planning, then ... Tue, 5 Mar 2013 21:33:03 EST Pain/Eat...Deal With It.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5266654 As I sit here I realize how much pain I am in. My arthritis in my left knee hurts. My psoriasis hurts and I emotionally hurt. Through out my life I have had to deal with pain. Most of it being emotional. Now as I sit here in this pain I am dealing with it by writing about it. This is a new page in my life. In my past I did not deal with it this way. When I would get in a BIG fight with my ex hubby I would go and find something to eat. As a child when my father would come into my bedr... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 23:32:55 EST vitamin D http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5261234 I do know that vitamin D is the sunshine vitamin. I do know that it is so good for me. I was making sugar cookies for the kids for tomorrow and I saw the sun out my window. It was calling my name. So when I got the cookies all done I put my walking shoes on. Being out in the sunshine felt so good. I do know that emotionally I was not doing so well so the sunshine was what I needed as it helps me have a sunny attitude. As I was walking along I was chatting some with Jesus. He's my walki... Sat, 23 Feb 2013 16:02:05 EST Emotionally Tough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5252172 I just finished watching a romantic comedy. I thought about my life of today and I cried as I watched this movie. For me that is a good thing. I have come a long way. In my past I would of cried as I ate my Ben and Jerry's. I would of watched the whole movie with a HUGH bag of m&m's but not tonight. I just sat through the movie cried and ate nothing. Being an emotionally eater this is a big step for me. I am do dang proud of myself for this. I must admit I am proud of me for today. ... Sat, 16 Feb 2013 00:16:04 EST Ramblings, thoughts and other stuff http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5250987 WOW.........she writes a lot of blogs. Well yes I do I figure it's better for being known for this than being known for eating every thing I see. I have always been one to write from my heart so today is no exception. <BR> Now today is valentines day. I do that lots of people are celebrating it. And me.........well I am not at this moment. My friend Geri came over the other night with some dark chocolate and a homemade card. Then tomorrow Dennis is suppose to come down so we can g... Thu, 14 Feb 2013 23:16:24 EST Sometimes U Just http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5245826 Sometimes you just need to write from your heart before you blow up,eat your way through the kitchen or SCREAM............!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I am going to write about my today.....or life in general. These days I feel so frustrated by somethings in my life I can't change. I am so tired of fighting for what I believe in is right. I had a fight with Samsung about my Media Player. I lost the fight........Just makes me so MAD.........! I am so tired of the whole thing. I am tired of struggli... Mon, 11 Feb 2013 00:33:46 EST WOW http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5231040 WOW.........that's the only way I can explain today. As I sit here writing this I can feel the stress of today. I must admit that I don't handle stress very well. I never have. I tried to relax by taking a candle lit bubble bath. While I soaked in the tub I chatted with God. I was hoping that would help. I do know I was able to get things off my chest and I needed to do that. I do know that stress makes me tired and I am that. I must admit I am also tired of fighting for things I be... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:55:02 EST Love Hate Relationship With Life......... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5220852 I realize that I like many other people have a love hate relationship with life. I love eating healthy but I hate brussel sprouts. Glad I don't have to eat them. I love God's amazing creation but I hate winter. I hate walking where it is slick outside. I hate feeling closed in as I have cabin fever. I love summer. Love spending time outside walking, riding Dennis's motorcycle and going camping. I love positive relationships but I hate the one with my sister and she's not willing to w... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 22:26:34 EST New Day New Thoughts........... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5215290 I just finished spending time with Jesus. My message from him was this. Can a mother forget the baby she has born and have no compassion for her.....? Thought she may forget I will never forget you..........I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. So after yesterday I so do need this message. When I am given words of wisdom I so do like remembering them and using them. I think about all the people who have said that I am too skinny. I also am reminded of what my therapist told me... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 09:13:12 EST Birthday Meltdown http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5214708 Usually on your birthday the only things that melt are the candles on your cake or the ice cream that has set too long. So not true in my case. Today is my birthday. And the only thing that has melted is me. I am having an emotional melt down. I am melting faster than the candles on my cake or the ice cream on my plate. Oh wait a minute I didn't have a cake. Oh I forgot there was no ice cream. Yes I am doing my very best to live a healthy life style so I am ok with no cake or ice crea... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 19:55:47 EST My Love Life Has Changed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5204087 I have come to realize that my love life has changed. In my past I was in love with M&M's and 2 guys named Ben and Jerry's. I loved the way they made me feel while I was with them. But I didn't like the way I looked or felt after. So I ended our love affair. I now have several new loves in my life. I found a new love just today. And his name is deadlift squats. We did those for the first time at weight lifting class. This is a new love that I want to get closer to and spent more tim... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 19:49:50 EST More Than That. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5197206 I am such a hugh fan of the Biggest Loser. While most people see that as overweight people trying to get skinny or lose weight I see more than that. I see people with emotional issues that cause the weight gain. Emotionally the issues keep them stuck. They can't be the real person they are designed to be. It causes them to eat from hurts, wounds and what negative comments they tell them selves. I do know that the negative stuff can cause you to be stuck or you can change your thinking a... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 15:41:36 EST The Choices... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5192507 The motto 'The choices we make for the life that we live" is so true for my life. I am thinking about that right now as I sit here writing this. I am sucking on a sugar free hard candy. I came home from my friend Geri's and I am so unhappy and upset about something in my life that I could just eat. But no instead I choose a sugar free candy to suck on instead. Such a better choice. This reminds me of many choices I have made. These choices have made me a healthier better person. The... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 01:13:28 EST New Year New Me........... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5183996 As I sit here thinking about 2013 I am reminded of how I feel. In the past I always dreaded the coming new year. It was due to the fact I was in a really UNHAPPY marriage. But since my divorce I have become such a happier person. So today I feel so much happier. I so do like that. I do know that because of how I feel it has translated into me taking so much better care of myself. I got up this morning and ate a healthy breakfast. I had my date with my treadmill. I got a Happy New Ye... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 13:49:20 EST Much to do about nothing. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5181092 Today feels like a "Much to do about nothing" kind of day. So what do I mean about that. Well.......it's like this. It feels like a "STRANGE" day. I was walking down to work and when I got close I didn't see any cars parked in front of the church. So I thought to myself "is it Sunday"....? When I found the church doors open I felt ok that it was. I went and got things ready for the kids. When it was time for them to come I had no one. I thought is this going to be a day where I have... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 16:31:30 EST Interesting Day... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5177009 I woke up this morning feeling so FRUSTRATED..........! My mind kept going back to yesterday (Christmas day). I kept thinking about the people in my life who gave me a "HAVE TO" Christmas present. My sister for example gave me used torn yard sale stuff. You might say well that is all that she can afford. Well I do know better as I use to be her money manager as she wanted me to do that until she got married. I do know that she can afford a nice inexpensive gift. Something that comes fr... Wed, 26 Dec 2012 19:50:28 EST Happy Birthday Jesus..........Blessed...upset and all. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5173189 I do know that Jesus has a birthday coming up. I do know that I happy about that. I plan on celebrating His birthday. So you'd think knowing that I'd be a happy camper. Well....I do know that He loves me....He's blessed me with good things. I went out to Christmas lunch with Dennis then we went to Big R and he bought me a "Cool" cross necklace for my up coming birthday next month. I love it so much as it is so pretty. Jesus has blessed me with good health. That feels so good too. So ... Fri, 21 Dec 2012 20:26:02 EST Therapy in print..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5150347 As a child I was not allowed to express my feelings. But when I became an adult that all changed. I said I was going to express how I felt. I knew that getting it off my chest was so theraputic for me. I know now that is the right thing to do. In my last blog I wrote I needed someone to listen. Well about 10:30 last night I talked to Dennis on the phone. He's my best bud and we have been through the good the bad and the ugly of life. Sounds like a movie title who'd of thought............ Thu, 29 Nov 2012 09:07:48 EST ?????!!! I Need http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5150095 I have had people call me "Chatty Cathy". When I was a little girl there was a Chatty Cathy doll that when you pulled the string on her neck she would talk non stop. Sometimes I do that. I guess I just have a lot to say. Or genetics as my dad and his brother talked a lot too. I do know that I have been told that I am a good listener. A good trait I think. Now at this moment I sure could someone to listen to me. I need someone to listen to me when............my heart hurts....when pai... Thu, 29 Nov 2012 00:25:40 EST Page 4488 Chapter 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5144585 I was told by several people that I should write a book about my life. Some of those people have said "You've been through a lot". Well yes I have......... So I have been working on getting all the negativity out of my life. One person, one negative thought and one bad eating habit at a time. It's like cleaning the junk out of my life. Well today has been one of those days were I feel in what I call a "bad head space". This morning I thought I was going to have a melt down. I didn't..... Fri, 23 Nov 2012 21:44:24 EST never been but.........now http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5136954 Here I am again. I said I would write when I wanted to eat and didn't need to. I have mentioned in several blogs about my tough life........abusive childhood and rotten marriage. Through all of this I have not really been angry about any of it. I have been frustrated, hurt,lonely, hopeless and sad. But right now I do feel angry. Angry about the things in my life I can not change that have happened to me. Things I had no control over. I can tell that my anger is coming out in wanting t... Thu, 15 Nov 2012 23:54:36 EST Off To Bed.........Thinking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5131088 I am off to bed. I have work to get to in the morning. While I am sitting here I am reminded how far I have come in this life. Also how far I have to go. For me life is about a journey. A jouney of ups and downs. To be honest have had a lot of those. And everytime I have fallen down God has picked me up and I have gone on again. Thanks Jesus for that.......! I do know my self esteem is so much better. I like that. But I do know that I have room to grow in that area. In my past I ... Sun, 11 Nov 2012 00:36:35 EST