SUZYB53's SparkPeople Blog SUZYB53's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Reflection on my own reflection and regrouping !! It's approximately 9 months since my last post. I've been off of the site and dealing with weight issues in other ways - mainly trying a therapist at a food issues clinic. I HAVE LEARNED SOME THINGS FROM HER, BUT I'M DISTRESSED THAT I'VE GAINED ANOTHER FEW POUNDS AND AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN HELPING ME TAKE THEM OFF. SO FOR THE TIME BEING, I'LL KEEP GOING TO THE WEEKLY THERAPY BUT ALSO WORK ON WEIGHT LOSS BY MYSELF. THE COMMENTS IN PARENTHESIS BELOW ARE MY THOUGHTS ... Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:27:28 EST Solution Card (Beck Diet) How's this for reframing? <BR> <BR> Old idea: I'll stop eating now - as per my plan - and this gives me a "pass" for next time. <BR> <BR> Solution Card (when I have an urge to keep eating): I'm doing great right now and I'll do great next time. Fri, 27 Oct 2017 22:15:06 EST Reflection and Regrouping NEXT STEPS <BR> While I have grown in what I feel confident about in terms of food and physical activity in the last year, there are still a few challenges. These were freaking me out because I had gained some weight over the 2016 Holiday Season and didn't know how to lose it without going back to restrictive eating and calorie counting. <BR> <BR> I had been feeling a little traumatized by this situation, but I do see that I am getting back to where I was weight-wise if I eat according... Mon, 6 Mar 2017 10:16:38 EST Event-Behavior -Thoughts - Learning a Cognitive Behavioral Approach to Stop Binge Eating My Spark Friend, Simplicity Now, just posted a set of week by week guidelines for stopping binge eating. The guidelines lay out steps to take every week for 6 weeks, based on a binge eating disorder program she was in. This is a Dutch program. It has some similarities to other Cognitive Behavioral Approaches. Please note - THIS APPROACH IS NOT ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS. IT IS ABOUT LEARNING TO EAT IN A REGULAR HEALTHY WAY. AFTER SEEING SIMPLICITY'S INITIAL POSTING, I STARTED READING ABOUT BI... Thu, 6 Oct 2016 10:18:24 EST LIghtbulb just went off in my head When I started this round with Sparkpeople, I was lucky enough to come upon on a 30 day challenge that began with an article about non-scale successes. This kicked me off with an approach where I focused on recognizing and rewarding myself for things that didn't have anything to do with weight. <BR> <BR> To make a long story short, along the way, I got mixed up about whether my goal is to eat in in a healthy way or whether it is to lose weight. I've lost some weight, and have also dev... Thu, 25 Aug 2016 09:36:13 EST Too Much of a Good Thing I'm not talking about overeating-I'm talking about exercise. Yesterday my Firbit showed that I jumped my steps up to almost 16000 and somehow ran for 39 minutes. I wasn't really planning to push myself that much, and today I am paying the price with aching calves. <BR> I AM proud that I am fit enough to do this, but I'm even more proud that I know enough to remind myself to take running seriously and not overdo it on the spurt of the moment. Wed, 3 Aug 2016 20:16:57 EST Too Much of a Good Thing I'm not talking about overeating-I'm talking about exercise. Yesterday my Firbit showed that I jumped my steps up to almost 1600 and somehow ran for 39 minutes. I wasn't really planning to push myself that much, and today I am paying the price with aching calves. <BR> I AM proud that I am fit enough to do this, but I'm even more proud that I know enough to remind myself to take running seriously and not overdo it on the spurt of the moment. Wed, 3 Aug 2016 20:16:56 EST "Getting There?" Does "getting there" mean that when I go off-track for one day, the next day, I decide not to weigh myself, but just get back on the plan for healthy eating and working out? If so, that means I'm on my way. I'm exhausted, but I'll focus on this positive outlook and pat myself on the back for staying away from the scale and getting back on track. Sat, 30 Jul 2016 16:34:25 EST Two new "habit- formers" Posting this as easiest way to remind myself: <BR> <BR> 1) Reminder post-its on kitchen cabinets and refrigerator (stop and think before I eat). Will add photos when phone is recharged and I have a few extra minutes. <BR> <BR> 2) Keep cooked chicken tenders in fridge. This is something both my partner and I can eat. <BR> Wed, 6 Jul 2016 09:41:46 EST Short Update I've learned a lot in the last 2 months. Now I'm hoping I can just "blast through." That's not quite accurate. I know there will be ups and downs, but I am starting to develop an inner voice that can get me through the "downs." <BR> <BR> I am also starting to see some cross-over between having this inner voice about my health/activity/nutrition and having this inner voice about other parts of my life. <BR> <BR> I know I experienced this a few years ago when I was at a peak of health and ... Mon, 4 Jul 2016 10:13:55 EST Home Again - Focused on Meeting Daily Goals The title just about says it. The next few months, nothing too stressful should be happening (fingers crossed, since there are always emergencies). But I want to try just sticking with my plan. I know a lot now - what I need, what excuses come up, what makes it hard. I think I can do this. Don't need to starve. Don't need to be crazy. Just DO IT. And remember to be kind to myself when I make mistakes. Sat, 2 Jul 2016 14:59:04 EST Trusting Myself through the Ups and Downs Last few weeks have been different. I've been out of my regular setting and with many different family members. It's been fairly easy to be physically active, but eating has been a little harder. I wear my fitbit so I do measure my activity level, and made the choice to focus on eating mindfully without tracking food. I've also been paying attention to how I feel and look. <BR> <BR> Generally I feel good, and have been pleased with what I see in the mirror. To be honest, the particul... Sun, 19 Jun 2016 10:02:52 EST A positive quote from one of my team members CHANGING-TURTLE You will never always be motivated, you have to learn to be disciplined. <BR> <BR> I like this a lot. this is what I meant in my "tough love" posts. Sometimes you say "I am just doing it." Even if I am in a crappy mood. Even if I don't feel confident. <BR> <BR> You do need to love yourself underneath and I am working very hard to be kind to myself - To figure out what I need and I and what I want. I learn a lot from Spark people and my Spark friends, but I also know n... Thu, 2 Jun 2016 11:35:48 EST Tough Love - Update Had a really good day yesterday. I am on Cape Cod with my daughter. We biked, walked, and did yoga. I did not count calories, but I ate mindfully. I had a very bad binge day when I was preparing for my trip. It it is good to know that I can bounce back quickly - both emotionally and in terms of healthy habits. <BR> <BR> Thanks to Spark People members for your supportive comments. Mon, 30 May 2016 08:51:47 EST Tough Love I'm looking forward to a time when my blog posts will be about constant forward motion. Does that ever happen? Or is it always two steps forward and one step back? <BR> Whatever....I have lost patience with myself for giving up and giving in...The inner food demon seems to be infinitely creative. Always finds a new excuse. <BR> <BR> So it's time for tough love. No excuses. I thought I had it figured out with my 10 tips to myself in the last blog pos. But now I understand. No matter ... Sun, 29 May 2016 09:19:46 EST Solving a Few Challenges - 10 Tips to Myself I think it's a few months since I've rejoined the Spark community. Here are a few things that have worked for me: <BR> <BR> 1) Every day, writing down one accomplishment and three things that I am grateful for. <BR> 2) Taking the time to buy and prepare food so I have healthy options. <BR> 3) If I don't have time, remembering that I am fortunate enough to be able to buy healthy meals, such as a nice salad from a restaurant. <BR> 4) Remembering to eat enough, so I don't get too hungry, and b... Sat, 21 May 2016 09:55:23 EST Over one hump??? I wouldn't say I'm over the hump forever, but I did make it through a few difficult weeks with many challenging and unpredictable eating situations. I'm away from home again, but it's a work trip where I pretty much know the food options and in advance. And just as important, I am pretty comfortable with the social dynamics. <BR> <BR> Just for the record, one important thing I learned from a series of events over the past weeks is to give myself permission to experience anger and frust... Thu, 12 May 2016 05:58:01 EST Toxic Guilt and Emotional Chaos I've been trying to figure out why I have been feeling off-track in the last few weeks. It doesn't feel so much like I'm "making mistakes" as much as that I am overly focused on making good choices and then they boomerang. This is scary to me, because I was really feeling proud of myself for being in control of my destiny during the first few weeks of my recent re-engagement with Spark. <BR> <BR> The good news is that I have basically stayed on my program. And even if I didn't lose any... Sat, 7 May 2016 09:55:40 EST Reflecting on Challenges - Part II After I posted the last entry, I completed my daily Spark Coach self-assessment and received this link about planning two steps ahead. <BR> <BR><BR>vation_articles.asp?id=1735 <BR> <BR> It's quite good. I recommend it, but it still misses a few points - like part of learning to plan is understanding your own needs, emotions, and vulnerabilities. Sometimes you start out on a new path and you don't know how you'll react - so of course planning cannot... Wed, 4 May 2016 09:39:16 EST Reflecting on Difficult Eating Situations Turns out that spending 2 days at a conference in DC was a difficult situation in which to maintain good eating habits. In fact, it might have been more difficult now that I am trying to stay on a very regular plan than it would have been before. Previously, I would done pretty well at all the planned meals - chosen some of the things laid out on the buffet and splurged a little bit other time. If I felt like I had done well, I might have gone home and had a "reward" binge for a few hours.... Wed, 4 May 2016 08:30:36 EST Strategic Choices <img src=""> I was freaking out this am. Stuck at a work conference, hungry, tired, and angry at presenters. I took a break after lunch (not great options at the conference buffet) and calmed down once I got outside into the sun. I walked to cvs and stocked up on some almonds and high fiber, low calorie granola bars. Made it through the afternoon session by munching on almonds. Maybe not the best strategy, bu... Mon, 2 May 2016 16:34:06 EST A Short Post I planned my meals for today! Yeah! This thing about developing new habits is hard. I definitely get immediate feedback from my body and my mind when I eat well and exercise. But still....there are so many pieces of prep and planning to do. And between getting products out the door for work and dealing with holiday food issues, it's been a hard week....So I am congratulating myself for staying on the right path, even though it is scary to wobble and look over the abyss. THANK YOU SPARK! Thu, 28 Apr 2016 08:49:00 EST Not so easy So I've been doing great, but this weekend was not so easy. I had two holiday meals to cook, (secular Passover Seders). I did my best to plan appropriately, focus on healthy eating ,and so on. But sometimes habit just takes over. Plus unrelated stress from related to a sick friend's new health problem. <BR> <BR> This leaves me about a pound up for my weekly weigh-in. Could well be from water weight due to salt and sugar from holiday foods since I was did well the rest of the week. I've ... Mon, 25 Apr 2016 08:31:10 EST Avoiding Toxic Guilt I just started reading the 10 Step Program for Emotional Eating. One of the steps is heeding the internal voice that warns against starting down a self-destructive path that will lead to toxic guilt. I just took action to stop binge watching of Season Two of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix. It wasn't really so hard. And hopefully I won't be exhausted tomorrow. Another step towards making it easier to eat well and stay active. <BR> <BR> PS (next morning) - Well, I am still a litt... Thu, 21 Apr 2016 00:42:57 EST Day 24: Non-scale health successes Task for Day 24 of the 30 Day Plateau Busting Challenge: List my non-scale health successes <BR> <BR> Dear readers, this list is long. But you're welcome to read it. Here goes: <BR> <BR> 1) Ankle strengthening exercises recommended by PT every day or every other day <BR> 2) Back to previous level of 10,000 steps on fit bit a day <BR> 3) Added an ab routine every other day <BR> 4) Jeans looser. Feeling more attractive <BR> 5) Filling water bottle and drinking 8 glasses of water <BR> 6) E... Fri, 15 Apr 2016 21:07:04 EST Moving into New Territory? I've weaned myself from daily weighing and learned that I really CAN lose weight without being hungry all the time. This is a huge break through. This means that I am starting to look at the other reasons I eat - stress, anger, excitement, boredom - you name it. I do it. Spark literature about this was extremely helpful, and I'm looking forward to reading more about emotional eating and other topics. <BR> <BR> One reason for writing this entry is to help me remember the stages that I am g... Wed, 13 Apr 2016 23:41:56 EST No Reason to Beat Myself Up - Post Script Yesterday ended badly, and I woke up with a guilt hangover. A few things helped get me back on track and motivated: <BR> <BR> -Follow Sparkers reminded me that it's new day and we all mistakes. <BR> <BR> -Hearing the same thing from a professional ball player talking about how he avoided getting into deep trouble with steroids, drugs, partying and so on. "When you fall down, it's a question of whether you get yourself up again." <BR> <BR> -Looking at Home & Garden in my dentist's offi... Fri, 8 Apr 2016 22:46:24 EST No Reason to Beat Myself Up Yesterday was a little bit of a downer. I was stressed and sick and did some compulsive eating. Not out of hunger, not out of boredom, not out of tiredness. It's hard to know the reason. I'm not sure if matters what the reason was. <BR> <BR> The one thing I do know is that I had gotten off course earlier in the day. I ate lunch very late because of a some things in work. Then I couldn't eat dinner because I felt sick. Then I vomited. Then instead of doing anything else nice for myse... Fri, 8 Apr 2016 08:01:00 EST Day 12 - Doing Well 1.5 pounds down after 12 days of eating well, nursing an ankle sprain, and refraining from weighing myself. <BR> <BR> A few things that I've learned. Or perhaps I should say internalized. <BR> <BR> 1) Lots of fiber early in the day really staves off hunger. <BR> 2) The same goes for drinking water, but I need to have that water BEFORE the hunger pangs start, or it doesn't help. <BR> 3) Not feeling deprived is the only way that I can do this long term. That probably means losing about a... Mon, 4 Apr 2016 09:07:42 EST On Choosing Pasta Last night I ate dinner at a trendy Italian restaurant in New York City's Upper West Side. A few blog readers and Spark friends made helpful, rational suggestions about "on plan" diet choices. I went a different route - taking a chance with a home made pasta dish and promising myself in advance to bring most of it home for my house-bound mother-in-law. <BR> <BR> On one hand this choice seems like it could be self-destructive. Why risk temptation with a plate full of pasta? On the other ... Sat, 2 Apr 2016 15:09:43 EST Feeling Great - 8 days without weighing myself Woke up feeling really good. Not starving AND not obsessed about weight AND STILL feeling committed to weight loss for better health. I've never before been willing to keep track of my physical and emotional feelings about food because they have been too overwhelming (i.e. veering between hunger and bloating, stress eating, and so on). <BR> <BR> But perhaps this is something I can try now. Putting away the bathroom scale is one of the best things I have ever done. At some point, I wil... Fri, 1 Apr 2016 07:25:00 EST A New Normal? It's about a week since I weighed myself. In the old days I would have gone off program now because I was too hungry, and because the scale said I was moving in the right direction. <BR> <BR> My new normal is that I have new feedback loop - my decisions are based on how I feel and what the tracker is saying. A week is too soon to see changes in clothes and so on. And the reality is that I may not not have lost any pounds yet. <BR> <BR> I am experimenting with eating slightly more cal... Thu, 31 Mar 2016 08:39:08 EST Adusting Calories - Upward I haven't read too much here about the problem of self-starvation (at least from what I remember). My past (somewhat successful) approach to tracking has always been to aim to eat at the bottom of my calorie range (1200-1550) with appropriate amounts of fiber etc. <BR> <BR> During my plateau period of the last several years, my pattern has been to starve off a few more pounds or a few extra pounds and then bounce back up. The regular pattern was: <BR> <BR> -First couple of days were eas... Tue, 29 Mar 2016 07:59:00 EST PS To Ditching the Scale - Details of My Diet Someone asked about my diet it. Here it is. <BR> <BR> This is basically what my nutritionist described as the Mediterranean diet. I do spend a lot of time tracking to keep all these things in balance. Maybe in my new approach to life and fitness, I'll be able to get the same nutritional balance, but in a more relaxed way. <BR> <BR> -The biggest thing is that I try to eat 40-60 grams of fiber a day. This is more than the default included in the Spark tracker for me. <BR> <BR> -I... Mon, 28 Mar 2016 14:57:04 EST Ditching the Scale - My Experience with my First Easter DInner Ever. Yesterday I was very excited about my first Easter dinner. As a secular Jew, I have dyed Easter eggs and bought my children chocolate rabbits, but somehow yesterday I was the first time I was ever invited to an Easter dinner. In addition to looking forward to seeing my friends, I was nervous about the food, and I didn't really have a plan since I didn't know the menu. <BR> <BR> Everything was fine till dessert, when I chose to accept a big piece of carrot cake. In spite of good intentio... Mon, 28 Mar 2016 13:15:07 EST Always Hungry Diet? I just found out about the Always Hungry Diet and read a little bit about it on-line. It looks to me like it's fairly close to what I strive for now - healthy fats, lots of fiber, and protein. This is based on guidelines I received a few years ago from a nutritionist. I modified my Spark tracker to reflect these guidelines, and I think it gets me in the general ballpark of what Dr. Ludwig says works. I just read that the Always Hungry Diet comes out in the area of 1600 calories while I'v... Sat, 26 Mar 2016 22:13:28 EST LIFE WITHOUT THE SCALE Hello Spark Friends! <BR> <BR> A recent fall on a lovely spring hike sent me back to Spark to raise my spirits after a years-long plateau in weight loss and a (not too severe) ankle sprain. Exploring various options, I came across a "put away the scale" plan. For many reasons, this seems like a great lever, but it's scary. I think it will trigger a lot of stuff for me. Maybe I should start a team for other people to share the non-scale experience. Or does this already exist? <BR> ... Fri, 25 Mar 2016 11:36:53 EST One More TIME Kind of interesting to look over these past blogs. Like everyone else here, lots of identity issues are tied up with food, exercise, and eating. I feel like I'm coming to terms with aging - which is connected to why I started on SPARK in the first place. <BR> <BR> I'm finally taking a less strenuous approach to activity; hoping that I can lose weight on 1200 calories a day if I walk my 10,000 steps with fitbit. It feels easy and mindless. I know that doesn't address every aspect of phy... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 18:35:29 EST No Excuses Eating Plan DAY ONE: <BR> <BR> No excuses. Kidney beans with melted cheese and avocado will be just as good as grilled cheese sandwich and more filling. Sat, 10 Jan 2015 12:55:51 EST Off to a Better Start Yesterday was not a good day for esophagitis and reflux. Once it started in the am, I seemed to be inflamed for much of the day. I decided to step it back to soft foods and small meals, since I had success with this a while ago. <BR> <BR> So far, so good..... <BR> <BR> Just to remind myself, this isn't forever. As my esophagus heals, I'll be able to add plenty of other things. And in fact, if I take the time to cook, there are plenty of soft foods I can eat (like cooked veggies, tof... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 08:32:20 EST Day 1- AM Reflux Reflect This blog is triggered by acid reflux reaction after breakfast. background is in my last post if anyone is interested. If this is not ok to post on blog, please let me know. It doesn't quite fit on the nutrition tracker. And public scrutiny might help me. <BR> <BR> Breakfast pluses- <BR> <BR> 1. pantoprozole before eating <BR> <BR> 2. Only soft, low-acid foods (cottage cheese, melon, brown rice) <BR> <BR> Possible negatives <BR> <BR> 1. Ate more than needed to <BR> 2. Melon new fo... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 10:54:04 EST Turning Back to Spark It's almost a year since I posted here. It's been a good year, and I've continued to use the Spark food and exercise trackers. My weight has been stable, I really got into physical activity - new things like running fast and taking sculpt classes at my gym. <BR> <BR> It was really the first time since adolescence that I was feeling comfortable with my body. Now there's a wrench in the works. I need to change my eating and exercise habits because of GURD (aka serious acid reflux) that ha... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 10:37:32 EST High Fiber Miracle?? I went to a nutritionist last week because my blood sugar was up, even though my weight has stayed down. Her recommendation - 5 -6 days a week of aerobic activity along with a high fiber diet, low cholesterol diet, but including enough "good" oil. <BR> <BR> So I've been trying something I never did before - staying away from 'treats' that don't also provide fiber. This means I am finally breaking my ice cream habit. It also means staying away from sorbet and all the other "low-cal, low-... Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:16:43 EST 3 Accomplishments 1) Set up exploratory meeting with new client for work. <BR> <BR> 2) Relationship with both daughters very good at 60th birthday. <BR> <BR> 3) Maintained motivation for health and activity through 60th birthday hub-bub. Thu, 7 Feb 2013 14:19:02 EST Renewing Message to Self Spark Coach Motivation Challenge for Day: <BR> Give yourself a pep talk. Write it down so you can use it again when you feel down. <BR> <BR> Here's the message I gave myself last March. It's still good today, with a few revisions. <BR> <BR> I've done great so far. When I look back at my weight entries, I lost 2.5 pounds since Feb. 26 [CURRENTLY 14 POUNDS]. But [ I'VE BEEN YO-YO'ING AROUND THIS WEIGHT FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS]. <BR> <BR> Message to Self- don't worry about it. Just s... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 10:28:51 EST Trying Out the Spark Coaching Team I recently received my last maintenance lesson from the Diabetes Prevention Program (DPP) Diabetes Not Me Study. The final lesson has an excellent set of tips and questions. I haven't answered them all yet. I do know that I am in a good place. I also know that I am someone who benefits from structured, personal support. <BR> <BR> A couple of days ago I decided to use one of the gift cards I got for participating in the DPP study to sign up for 3 months of Spark Coaching. So far, ... Fri, 25 Jan 2013 09:34:50 EST New Short Term Plan Coming Soon Hello and thanks to everyone for supporting me in my public accountability experiment. Now I have a three week period full of special events surrounding my birthday. I'll be back soon with some thoughts about my strategies and goals... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 09:13:31 EST Closure on my Public Accountability Experiment Hello Friends, <BR> <BR> It has been useful to make a commitment to make public posts about specific goals. Here are some things accomplished and learned: <BR> <BR> 1) Weight-wise it was a success. I kept a stable weight between Christmas and New Years. Plus, I took off a couple of pounds that I had put on between Thanksgiving and Christmas. <BR> <BR> 2) Making a public statement about a very specific goal helped me stay focused. The support and comments from the community are a... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 18:15:19 EST LAST DAY OF MY 10 DAY TRACKING PROMISE I started out strong, but the weekend was tough, especially Sunday. I was dealing with a few upsetting things and was not so good about tracking for the last two days. <BR> <BR> Upon refection, I will do more planning next time. I did know that there would be some challenges. But I didn't take the time to think them through. <BR> <BR> I did get back to it today, and overall I've made progress. That feels good. I may try again for another 7 or 10 days and see what happens. It's be... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 16:48:42 EST 5 Days Down. 5 Days to Go. Having short -term goals definitely helps. I've managed to get some kind of workout every day and also stick to the calorie limit (more or less). Yesterday I talked myself into the sensible realization that it's more important to stay with the spirit of the plan than be overly rigid. So the modified calorie limit is 1200. Or 1300 if my body says it is necessary. It's a big step to accept that making modifications is actually consistent with the goal. More on that tomorrow if time allows. Wed, 9 Jan 2013 23:42:58 EST