SUZANNEMW's SparkPeople Blog SUZANNEMW's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Almost gave up Crazy, busy, out of whack life...spiraled into depression and using sugar and caffeine to get through the day. <BR> <BR> At my highest weight ever...but today is a fresh start. For some reason I have gotten out of the habit of drinking water and going to the club to work out. At this weight it feels depressing to even try again, but I know other people have started much higher and done great. <BR> <BR> So back to the basics...tracking food and getting my butt moving. <BR> <BR> Have a g... Mon, 22 Oct 2012 05:23:14 EST Tri It has been such a whirlwind of a summer, with little me time and lots of activity. I am scheduled to compete in a Sprint Tri in a couple of weeks, aside from swimming, no real training...I just want to finish and not die. <BR> <BR> I need to buy new shoes and a swimsuit, bike shorts, and get the bike tuned up...the incidental things you don't think of when signing up! <BR> <BR> It will be a rush when it is over...just wish I had trained more. <BR> <BR> Have a great day! <BR> <BR> Suz... Tue, 14 Aug 2012 10:40:06 EST I got the blues... My knee surgery went great, better than expected. No more pain! <BR> <BR> Feeling tired and down. I have to work today. Usually I am excited, but I think I really need a weekend off, and its not gonna be this one... <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I start 3o days no sugar no flour...I could use some support! My husband is not buying in...and it's almost Easter! And I LOVE SUGAR! <BR> <BR> Jelly beans, chocolate, I even like PEEPS... <BR> <BR> Oh well. I will feel better without the sugar. <BR... Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:25:43 EST Time for surgery! Well, I went to see another ortho for a second opinion, glad I did. After discussing the options I decided to opt for cleaning out the knee, the sooner the better. It will be removing cushion, but cushion that is no longer functioning well. I do have arthritis in my knees, more than the other doctor reported. Swimming is still cool as well as walking. So, scheduled the surgery for March 1st. <BR> <BR> Last night I tripped and of those "oh crap" moments. Landed on my back, ... Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:47:47 EST Knee update Hey everyone, <BR> <BR> Feeling much better today. I got the news, I have a sprained knee and a small tear in my meniscus. So it turns out that I have been walking around, clowning, and working out with this since mid September! I need to make an appointment to go back to the ortho and see what he wants to do. I am looking forward to the pain being gone. <BR> <BR> I know that losing weight will help this situation. <BR> <BR> A day at a time. <BR> <BR> Have a good weekend! <BR> <... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:08:08 EST My MRI...tears Yesterday I was scheduled for an MRI of my left leg. It was a totally humbling experience. First of all, the tech looked at my weight on the doctor's order, looked at me, and gave me a gown that was 3 sizes too big. OK, I know I am big but I am not THAT big...or so I thought. Next it was time to put my leg in the foam cradle to hold it still for the MRI...and my leg wouldn't fit. Maybe...just maybe if I had taken off my pants, but it was tight. So they had to get a "flex" cradle which d... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 22:52:40 EST Broke through a barrier I have been pushing forward, but injured. My left knee has still not recovered since September, even with physical therapy, rest, stretching, whirlpooling, heat, ice, advil, aspirin, you name it, I have tried it. Except not working out at all. I swim and water jog. When I swim I mainly use my arms or just my right leg mostly. I have had x-rays, today I am heading to the doctor to ask for an MRI. Enough is enough! <BR> <BR> One of my friends is also injured and can't walk because of h... Tue, 7 Feb 2012 13:32:01 EST Getting back on track...healthy eating 101 and pool time Since I am not clowning today I hit the health club. Swam for 45 minutes, water jogged for 15, had a great steam sauna, and whirlpool. Everyone at home was still sleeping! It felt great. I bought some fruit and veggies on my way home for juicing. Now I have two juicers, so one is always clean...started juicing a couple of days ago. Not hard core, but I tried a sweeter juice, carrots, celery, apple, and then the hard core veggie with kale, ginger, lemon, apples...but I was missing the cu... Sat, 14 Jan 2012 12:41:44 EST The numbers are going the WRONG WAY! Haven't been on in a long time, and totally fell off the wagon over the holidays. Had a lot of fun, but ate a lot of food I didn't need or really want. The result, one pound away from 300. Went back to the pool last night. Took it easy, really happy that my hamstring injury has healed and I can swim using my legs again! Gained back the 7 pounds that I lost in Florida now that I am back in the real world. Kids home, adult kids home, husband home, 50th birthday for my hubby celebrated...... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 20:48:15 EST Live with JOY! I went to see my new friend Lynda and had a great time celebrating her birthday early. I got more than I planned for...she ended up being released that day, so we spent almost 10 hours together! She needs a new heart. She has an external machine that makes her heart beat that she has to drag everywhere with her. She had such joy, even facing an uncertain future. I painted faces and we walked around the floor which had signs that said "Congratulations, you just walked 10 feet!" The nurse... Thu, 22 Dec 2011 08:09:50 EST Back in the Pool Life has gotten is true, if you don't have plans something will fill your time. Life is put back into perspective for me. I am going to go visit a 22 year old woman tomorrow, the same age as my son, and help her celebrate her last birthday. She needs a new heart, has diabetes, and her kidneys are shutting down. She wanted to live till her birthday on Thursday. I have done hospice clowning before, but this one is hard...there are so many variables involved. I know my fri... Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:28:15 EST Woo hoo! Buff by Valentine's Day My friend jokingly said I was going to be buff by Valentine's Day, I am going to prove him right! <BR> <BR> Physical therapy was short, but productive. My hamstring is looser, and I have a better idea of the exercises to do. I hit the pool after, and found that two weeks later, not working out and after Thanksgiving, I have maintained my Florida weight loss by watching what I eat. YES! <BR> <BR> I am feeling so much better. I will not let my mind defeat me. I will not let finances get ... Fri, 2 Dec 2011 16:18:12 EST Catch up blog... I have missed blogging...I have a new laptop now, so I can blog away! <BR> <BR> I had a great, productive week in Florida, logged lots of fitness minutes, tracked, and lost 7 pounds. Unfortunately, the last day I over did it on the bike, and strained my hamstring again. It hurts so bad I could hardly walk on Sunday. I rested it for a couple of days and today I go to my first physical therapy appointment. I am hoping to be able to get it well enough to walk the Miami ING half marathon th... Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:50:53 EST Success in Florida It's working...eating right, working out, taking time to relax. Down 5 pounds! At a mineral springs today. Time for a healthy lunch, then more soaking and swimming. Had my second manicure ever. It is great to have the support of my sister Becky. No soda since Monday, or fast food, and very little sugar. <BR> <BR> Have a great day! <BR> <BR> Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:54:45 EST First Smart Phone Blog - Florida Fun Having a great time in Florida. Started with a bare fridge, added only healthy food. Eating planned healthy meals. Bought my supplements today. Walking and swimming daily with some strength and some core. Loving the weather! It's great having my sister to work out with. We are trying new foods and cutting out sugar, pop, and processed foods. Going to swim and do Zumba tomorrow and go to a mineral springs on Friday. My favorite thing so far was seeing two small seahorses and a tiny t... Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:03:49 EST Seven days and counting... Trying to take care of me this month. Sounds selfish, but I don't want to die prematurely and have the tombstone read, "She took care of everyone but herself". <BR> <BR> Have been somewhat successful in getting the doctor visits in, mammogram, etc...attending a health fair, exercising somewhat. Still struggle with emotional eating. Being twenty pounds heavier than last fall makes working out that much harder. Walked across Chicago yesterday a mile or so and thought I was going to have ... Mon, 7 Nov 2011 11:09:08 EST Monday, Monday.... Pretty sure I have used this title before. <BR> <BR> Didn't sleep with my CPAP last night and am feeling so tired and lethargic. Misplaced my Driver's License so I don't really want to leave home without it! <BR> <BR> Doing some laundry and cleaning, but not so quickly. <BR> <BR> Went to the ortho, I have a pulled hamstring. He says my knees look good "for a woman of my age." Harumph! Since when did they make 20 year old MD's? The good news is I can still do everything I am doing,... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:51:03 EST Mammogram: Check! Had a great swim today for 40 minutes, just over a half mile and water jogged for 20 minutes. My left leg still hurts so I babied it. The ortho tried to put off my apt. until next week but I resisted, my leg hurts! <BR> <BR> Got my mammogram done, I was in and out. It's not really such a big deal, but good to get it done. I think going without is like playing Russian Roulette. <BR> <BR> Was good today food wise until 4 ish...then I went crazy. The house was a little nuts, drove 2 hours... Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:45:27 EST New week, new goals...South Africa bound Heading to the pool now for a swim, then hitting the paperwork with my son, followed by my first mammogram since 2007. Time flies. Wish we were hitting the apple orchard as well. Beautiful summer like weather here near Chicago. I am seeing the ortho for my legs on Wednesday, although a good massage might be all they need. They do feel somewhat better and I have started using them while swimming. It might be a shoe issue...I have some "heels" that I wear occasionally, and some sneakers t... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 08:54:42 EST Ready for Monday The weekend is my work week, condensed. Yesterday though I took off to spend time with my son. Kept reminding him....I taking time off to spend with you.... <BR> <BR> Was glad to be off, but really made bad food choices. I am so out of practice in the oven since April. I could have swam yesterday morning but procrastinated and put it off. So tomorrow back to the pool, and time to call my doctor for test results. Blood sugar is down, but my cholesterol is high. <BR> <BR> H... Sun, 2 Oct 2011 21:46:15 EST Rockin the Pool Good thing I went to the pool, when I came back my street was impassable and my drive way blocked! I got to the pool at 6:45 AM and took my time there. Swam one mile of crawl and breast stroke using only my arms, my knees and legs still hurt and I haven't seen the doctor yet. I felt good, was almost swimming as fast as the fit people who were using their legs as well. One hour, one mile. It is almost the same time as I swim using my I must need to go faster when I am healed. T... Fri, 30 Sep 2011 11:17:01 EST Slept the day away... Got inspired by the first blog that I read...went and worked out, swam 24 lengths using my arms, and sat in the whirlpool. I feel like I am back at the point where I am so overweight that people just don't see you. Seriously, this guy was totally in my space in the if I wasn't there. Had a good swim. At least my arms will be buff! Had breakfast and went back to sleep...for hours. I am taking the doctor's orders seriously. I must be tired since I slept though them cutting... Fri, 30 Sep 2011 00:18:55 EST My aching legs... Well, I got a rejection e-mail for the job which was kind of a bummer, followed immediately by a gushing e-mail about my last clown performance from the client. Was nice to get the positive after the negative. I think I need to change my resume and remove dates from it, like college graduation date! <BR> <BR> My knees are killing me, and my legs as well now. Went to the Dr. for a physical and the good news is after one year of sleeping with the CPAP my blood sugar is down around normal,... Thu, 29 Sep 2011 07:52:49 EST Self Imposed work out guilt! How much time can I spend? My stage performance went fine, and was a good experience. <BR> <BR> I am putting myself out there again...just sent off a resume and cover letter for a job in Chicago working with international students. Ah, the doubts...will they think I am too old? Too heavy? Not tech savy enough? Feeling my age after biking for an hour over the weekend up and down hills...after not doing any biking this summer. The knees feel back to normal, but biking used to be the one thing I would do that would... Thu, 22 Sep 2011 19:28:49 EST Stage fright Ahhhh! <BR> <BR> I agreed to help a friend with his school assembly science show presentation today. I have a serious case of stage fright. First off, "the girl" as magicians like to call their assistants are usually size 2 or 4, if not young they are at least thin! No way to wave a magic wand and get rid of that many sizes. So the net result will be that the show will be funny, not serious, especially when I am spinning him around on stage on a hovercraft. It is also going to require... Tue, 13 Sep 2011 08:21:44 EST Not too bad Couldn't motivate myself to do anything after my big swim...decided to take a nap. With my CPAP, since I took it off during the night. Slept for 3 plus hours! There went the day. I must have needed it though, my sinus infection is still acute. Looking forward to it going away! <BR> <BR> Need to re think the meals I am cooking. Made brats with sauerkraut and fresh corn on the cob. Brats are just so full of fat, tasted yummy. And I bought a chocolate cake since it was $2.99. Didn't ... Thu, 8 Sep 2011 23:18:12 EST Back in the pool and loving it! Swam last night with my hubby, one half mile. It felt great. Had a suit on that fit and allowed me to really swim hard. Then the it at night. <BR> <BR> Felt really good, so I hit the pool again this morning. Incentives don't usually work for me, but we agreed for every mile we swim we will put $5 into the Puerto Rico fund...and I found plane tickets for $200, so I am extremely motivated. Swam my mile in one hour. I feel so much better. It was nice, I chatted with some... Thu, 8 Sep 2011 11:53:27 EST "Do you want to skip the scale?" Today I went to the doctor for a sinus infection. The nurse asked if I wanted to skip the scale. I haven't been to the doctor in months, lack of health insurance will do that to you, but seriously, what kind of a dumb question is that? <BR> <BR> I said no, I want to be weighed. Better to know where I am at instead of dealing with denial. And I am back where I started a year ago. But I knew that. But now my doctor knows that, so we have some accountability going here. Blood work tomorr... Thu, 1 Sep 2011 01:09:21 EST Fresh beginnings. The busier I am, the more fast food I eat. And I am always busy! Last night I cooked a lovely meal, and we wolfed it down to get to our activities, Cirque de Soleil, and a White Sox game respectively...and Navy Pier. Spinning so fast I think my head is going to fall off! <BR> <BR> OK, I have a problem saying no. Free tickets? Sure! So my middle schooler got little sleep, but had seats so close to the field he could hear the umpire's calls. Hope he remembers this in a good way! <BR> <... Thu, 18 Aug 2011 09:49:41 EST Time to take care of me again...whee! Finally feel like I am gliding down hill after pushing up hill for such a long time...tomorrow is week three of my husband's job. It has been hard getting up with him and working two jobs, entertaining a couple times a week as well as teaching English and being Mom to my exchange students. This last week I had my most extreme challenge, twins whose Mother teaches French cooking, and only uses fresh, organic produce in her dishes. It really brought home how much processed food we eat. The ... Sun, 7 Aug 2011 22:43:46 EST The day I have been waiting for! Today was my husband's first day back at work since February! Really happy on so many levels! A regular paycheck will seem like heaven, and we qualify for insurance starting August 18th. This week is going to be somewhat tricky as he is scheduled to entertain as well in the evenings, so it will be straight from his day job to his balloon twisting gig. I hope they both go well! <BR> <BR> We had a graduation party for my daughter yesterday and she had a sleepover as well. Getting ready fo... Tue, 26 Jul 2011 02:29:40 EST Stormy Days Life is certainly never boring...high winds yesterday took out our power and almost sent our exchange student running out the door and into the if that would help! We fired up the generator after a few glad we have one. Not too much damage this time to the trees, but it did encourage my husband to cut down one of the hanging limbs from the last storm. <BR> <BR> I got a last minute booking today, filling in for a friend. The town had no power except for one downtown bui... Wed, 13 Jul 2011 01:34:59 EST Mid summer whine - feel free to skip! Well, almost another month...we keep moving forward, but keep getting hit with challenges. We welcomed a Spanish student into our home. He is a keeper, great kid. We have been on the move, but not on the move. The first day we went for a walk, then did an hour of English, then went for a quick bike ride, then another hour of English instruction. It actually worked great. Why we dropped that strategy I don't know! We are both ADD, although my diagnosis is not official. I have a hard ti... Thu, 7 Jul 2011 08:20:52 EST Wow, a whole month has gone by... I can't believe it has been a month since I have been on. Time much has happened! My daughter did graduate (barely), my son has moved in with his girlfriend, we have been accepted on our State's insurance, I have been clowning like crazy, celebrated my 47th birthday and 25th wedding anniversary, whoa. Discovered black mold in my bedroom wall, fixed it, and my husband painted our whole upstairs. Also had my first massage in a year! Whoa. It felt great. <BR> <BR> Am very than... Fri, 17 Jun 2011 01:08:43 EST Need to carve out some "me" time One week since Zumba...but today is a new day. And, she played my favorite song! Argh. Life has been even more stressful than usual. My daughter is 4 or 5 essays away from graduating from High School...finals start today. My college son moved home...and is not sure what his grades will be from this semester. No health insurance, and although we applied last night for coverage from the state, my oldest will not be covered and my daughter won't be after her birthday. My husband is gettin... Tue, 17 May 2011 07:30:32 EST Zumba zumba! Went to my first class yesterday...probably the first class I have done at the Health Club in 9 years. I went with my friend Majorie who is so much fun to be with. We had a blast. It was tough...but instead of freaking out when I couldn't do all the moves I just kept theme for this year. The instructor was great and encouraged me after class to keep coming. I loved the energy, and the fact that there were women of all sizes and abilities. <BR> <BR> So I will go back! Starti... Tue, 10 May 2011 09:59:43 EST Happy Mother's Day! Just finished up our circus gig...had a lot of fun and worked really hard...slept in until 1:00 today after 7 hours at the circus yesterday. <BR> <BR> For my Mother's Day present my husband encouraged me to take the day I did! <BR> <BR> Can't wait to get back into the pool tomorrow or Monday...things seem to be heading in the right business has been jump started, my daughter seems on track to graduate, my son has finished his finals, my husband is working with a he... Sun, 8 May 2011 01:13:00 EST Fresh Start all Around... Trying to look at this whole situation as positively as I can...a fresh start. Now that I am back at my original highest weight ever, I can hopefully learn from my mistakes and change. Worked out tonight, and even though I drove through Kentucky Fried Chicken for the sides, resisted and did not get the chicken. Confronted myself in the mirror at the empty health club and ugh, guess it is time for some new full length mirrors at home. <BR> <BR> So, time for a fresh start. <BR> <BR> Trac... Wed, 4 May 2011 00:42:40 EST Swimming, water walking, chatting...perfect combo for a relaxing evening. Thanks to my big sister Becky for taking me to her pool last night. We did some fitness lengths, and then did some leisurely swimming, walking, and talking in the pool. I gave myself the day off from job hunting for my family, cooking, cleaning, although I did work a little on my business! <BR> <BR> Attended a shower for a relative, sat and chatted with an old friend, and worked out. All in all a near perfect day! <BR> <BR> My hubby is out for a run, and I will take the two dogs for a ... Mon, 2 May 2011 11:00:05 EST Running away to join the circus! The taxes are FINALLY done, yea! Still moving forward, but more in my business than in my diet & exercise routine. The Piccadilly Circus called and we will be doing some advance work for them, visiting pre schools, schools, and a hospital to promote them, and us. Already have 3 set up, tomorrow I will work on the rest. Worked today, Easter Sunday. I was not pleased, but made the best of it. Great kids, pretty easy gig. <BR> <BR> Saturday night we were all set to go see a movie, which ... Mon, 25 Apr 2011 01:13:25 EST Doing better at doing! Got one fitness walk in yesterday...said "no" to a whole bunch of stuff someone wanted to give us. Stayed up late and caught up on business stuff. No sugary snacks or soda in the house. Had a coke and it almost gave me a panic attack! So not good for me. Working on staying positive and staying the course. Got my first Yelp review today, 5 stars for a party that I was really not at my best, but I will gladly take it! Off to the bank to get a printout of my account, then finishing up my ... Wed, 13 Apr 2011 12:10:23 EST Started last night... Went on a mile "fitness walk" with my husband before bed. The dogs were pleased! It was a slow pace but that is where I am at, so I am ok with that! We actually went on one the day before as well, without the dogs. I'll take it. Time to start tracking fitness minutes again! <BR> <BR> Off to a slow start today, one kid home (I feel like I am going to throw up). Need to call him in. My head is in the right place though. Time for my morning mile fitness walk, then taxes. If I don't cr... Mon, 11 Apr 2011 11:22:52 EST Time to focus! This week is "wrap up" week! Time to wrap up the painting, 2 more rooms and trim to go, wrap up taxes, 6 more months of bank statements to find and enter, then e-mail the whole thing off to the tax man. Time to clean out the basement and garage. In our community we pay to throw out garbage, so I was thinking of getting a dumpster, but Friday is clean out day where we can get rid of whatever we want to. I think we are all ready mentally to let go of all that we don't need. I told my husba... Sun, 10 Apr 2011 21:03:16 EST Oh my, am I off track! Sitting across from the hubby, he is applying for a job and I am supposed to be putting the finishing touches on the taxes! Little does he know! Finally figured out how to do this without going crazy, got my I Pod on... <BR> <BR> I think I have gained back all my weight, my knees hurt just sitting! Haven't been doing any exercise, haven't been to the club in I punishing myself for not finishing all of my to do's? I have been cooking from scratch, last night I made stir fry c... Tue, 5 Apr 2011 12:01:18 EST Same old, same old. Made some progress on the house, the living room and hallway are painted! No trim yet, but it looks much better. Working together on the taxes today, got to get them e-mailed to the accountant so we can pay for health insurance. <BR> <BR> The kids are on Spring Break, and no one is here...they are all out and about, which is o.k. <BR> <BR> Worked Saturday and Sunday, and all day yesterday entertaining at a General Mills factory. The real loser in all of this is my health. No exercise,... Thu, 31 Mar 2011 12:48:13 EST One thing after another...making lemonade So the fridge is out, my stove is broken (it is over 40 years old), the van needs new tires and work, and I am, I can't get sick yet! <BR> <BR> I found a "new"fridge for $45 on should fit in our space in the wall better than the one we have now that is no longer working. Next on my list is a stove...the van is getting the minimum amount of work, and I am chomping on vitamin C like nobodies business. <BR> <BR> Managed to get some banking done today and ta... Thu, 24 Mar 2011 18:47:31 EST Thanks Sis! My big sis called today to check in...perfect timing. It was good to have a long distance shoulder to cry on. <BR> <BR> Had some real positive feedback from this weekend in the way of an e-mail and a phone call thanking us for our performance at events, and when I posted a photo of a sculpture on my facebook page one of my balloon heroes commented "nice job". Made my day! <BR> <BR> Struggling with patience...I want it all at once. Clean house, decorated house, new job for the hubby, new ... Wed, 23 Mar 2011 21:23:49 EST What I did this weekend.... This weekend I learned how to buy I Tunes....could be dangerous. <BR> <BR> This weekend I learned how to use my I Pod! (It's about time) <BR> <BR> This weekend I learned how to make a playlist! Yea! Will be good for making playlists to work out to! <BR> <BR> This weekend I entertained at 3 gigs and did not feel like I was not "good enough"! I had fun! I boogied down, chicken danced, conga-ed, and did the hokey pokey. <BR> <BR> This weekend I managed to do the impossible, taught Sunda... Mon, 21 Mar 2011 09:41:46 EST Moving forward, despite the circumstances Made it through the weekend without getting too sick to work...which is a plus! <BR> <BR> Had three very successful gigs, and no cake. Even though the cake looked very very good! <BR> <BR> My husband interviewed for a position at a company on Friday, and they made him an offer of sorts...a three month contract with no benefits and the chance of being an employee. Not the kind of offer we are looking for, so he is negotiating with them now. My youngest son is now sick, and it really stink... Mon, 21 Mar 2011 09:23:47 EST Going to bed! Totally not in control of my time right now, time to re assert my me time! Drove the hubby into Chicago for a meeting, then worked on my business all day. Went to Sprint to try and straighten out my phone issues, to be continued next week. The closest I got to exercising today was reading about it in a magazine. Tomorrow the plumber is coming to fix the leak in the basement, hurrah, before our rainy season starts. My daughter is really sick, have been babying her all day and hoping I don... Thu, 17 Mar 2011 23:14:41 EST