SUNSHINE65's SparkPeople Blog SUNSHINE65's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community 5:2 PLAN I can't use the word "diet" or I put on pounds. (Did you know that 'dieting' is one of the therapies they use with anorexics?) So when I choose (choice is the big trigger for any special way of eating on a particular day), I drink two or three IdealShakes instead of eating meals. For a snack I might eat some cucumber. IdealShakes are 100 calories when mixed with water. I might beef up the flavor with Walden Flavors. Or with plain vanilla, I'll mix it with diet soda: orange or Pepsi. Right no... Sat, 4 Nov 2017 04:16:25 EST People Share Their Most Horrifying Moments. 1. Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. <BR> <BR> 2. Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "Screw you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. <BR> <BR> 3. Today, I was the only one in an elev... Fri, 29 Sep 2017 09:46:06 EST Actual Exchanges between Pilots and Control Towers From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m bored!” <BR> Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!” <BR> Unknown aircraft: “I said I was bored, not stupid!” <BR> O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.” <BR> United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this… I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.” <BR> <BR> ************************** <BR> <BR> Tower... Tue, 29 Aug 2017 00:32:34 EST Points to Ponder 1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. <BR> <BR> 2. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. <BR> <BR> 3. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. <BR> <BR> 4. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while ... Sun, 13 Aug 2017 00:58:34 EST People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones... What's the difference between a bird and a fly? <BR> The bird can fly, but the fly can't bird. <BR> <BR> I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. <BR> She seemed surprised. <BR> <BR> Two clowns are eating a cannibal. <BR> One turns to the other and says, “I think we got this joke wrong.” <BR> <BR> What’s the difference between inlaws and outlaws? <BR> Outlaws are wanted. <BR> <BR> I bought an elephant for my friend’s room. He said, “Thanks.” <BR> I said, “Don’t mention it.” <B... Wed, 9 Aug 2017 05:26:18 EST I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?' <BR> <BR> 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up, <BR> I informed him. <BR> <BR> 'All the food was slow.' <BR> <BR> 'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?' <BR> <BR> 'It was a place called "at Home,'' I explained! <BR> <BR> <BR> 'Mom cooked very day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed t... Mon, 31 Jul 2017 19:58:37 EST NEW PASTOR IN TOWN A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station. As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right. It's on the left." The man thanked the boy kindly, complimented him on how bright he was and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. If you and your mommy come to church on Sunday, I'll show ... Thu, 13 Jul 2017 22:29:17 EST A perv, a con artist and a fascist walk into a bar. <img src=""> Sun, 9 Jul 2017 20:22:25 EST Funnee While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help. <BR> "The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'" <BR> "Monogamy," he answered. <BR> <BR> *** <BR> Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment. <BR> <BR> One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived a... Sun, 18 Jun 2017 23:35:31 EST Wife Buys Parrot With A Vulgar Past. What The Parrot Said When He Saw Her Husband Is Gold A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot with a sign on the cage that said $50.00. <BR> 'Why so little?' she asked the pet store owner. <BR> The owner looked at her and said, 'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.' <BR> The woman thought about it, but decided, she had to have the bird anyway. <BR> She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and... Thu, 1 Dec 2016 19:34:25 EST Why do cops harass people and get away with it? Recently, the Chula Vista Police Department ran an e-mail forum (a <BR> question and answer exchange) with the topic being, <BR> <BR> "Community Policing." One of the civilian email participants posed the <BR> following question: <BR> <BR> Q: "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to <BR> continually harass people and get away with it?" <BR> <BR> A: Sgt. Bennett, obviously a cop with a sense of humor replied: <BR> <BR> "First of all, let me tell you's n... Mon, 28 Nov 2016 05:29:16 EST Man Gets The Shock Of His Life As He Walks Into A Church And Finds This. Wow. A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. <BR> <BR> Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute." <BR> <BR> Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The Pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct... Sat, 26 Nov 2016 05:08:06 EST "Unstuffed" Stuffed Cabbage Casserole" Ran into this recipe on Mr Food test kitchen. I had made up a recipe something like it a couple of years ago. <BR> <BR> "Unstuffed" Stuffed Cabbage Casserole <BR> (7 Votes) <BR> Updated October 18, 2016 <BR> <BR> SERVES 8.. SERVING SIZE 1 cup. COOK TIME 1 Hr <BR> While we love traditional stuffed cabbage, we don't always have time to make it, especially when we're feeding a large gang. That's when our recipe for "Unstuffed" Stuffed Cabbage Casserole comes in handy. This cass... Wed, 16 Nov 2016 22:46:39 EST I DO NOT LIKE YOU DONALD TRUMP! <img src=""> Tue, 18 Oct 2016 02:50:11 EST God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy. God bless Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa A Father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." <BR> <BR> The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' <BR> <BR> The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." <BR> <BR> The next day grandpa died. <BR> <BR> The father thought it was a strange coincidence. <BR> <BR> A few months later the father put the... Tue, 18 Oct 2016 00:30:20 EST Airplane Crash <BR> AN AIRPLANE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH; THERE WERE 5 PASSENGERS ON BOARD, BUT ONLY 4 PARACHUTES. <BR> <BR> THE FIRST PASSENGER, HOLLY MADISON SAID, "I HAVE MY OWN REALITY SHOW AND I AM THE SMARTEST And <BR> PRETTIEST WOMAN AT PLAYBOY, SO AMERICANS DON'T WANT ME TO DIE."SHE TOOK THE FIRST PACK AND <BR> JUMPED OUT OF THE PLANE. <BR> <BR> THE SECOND PASSENGER, JOHN MCCAIN, SAID, "I'M A SENATOR, AND A DECORATED WAR HERO FROM AN ELITE <BR> NAVY UNIT FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA." SO HE GRABB... Fri, 12 Aug 2016 00:37:24 EST The hitchhiker This story happened a while ago in Brisbane. <BR> John Bradford, a Sydney University student, was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door, just to realize there was nobody behind th... Thu, 11 Aug 2016 00:34:44 EST My facebook pages Take BackYour Life <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Awaken from Spiritual Trauma Sun, 17 Jul 2016 16:23:05 EST My Website Sun, 17 Jul 2016 16:22:09 EST My New Business! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Sun, 17 Jul 2016 16:21:05 EST The First Time A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. <BR> <BR> Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is t... Sat, 2 Jul 2016 17:10:22 EST late nite funnees "There was a brief security scare yesterday when some party balloons drifted over the White House fence. The White House staff were pretty worried, especially when they saw Obama tying those balloons to a lawn chair." -Jimmy Fallon <BR> <BR> *** <BR> <BR> "A new study has found that beautiful people have totally different life experiences from the rest of you. I'm sorry, I meant the rest of us." -Conan O'Brien <BR> <BR> *** <BR> <BR> "Papa John's salads were among several hundred product... Wed, 25 May 2016 15:15:59 EST "Federal Benefit Payment!" The Social Security check is now (or soon will be) referred to as a "Federal Benefit Payment!" <BR> <BR> I'll be part of the one percent to forward this. I am forwarding it because it touches a nerve in me, and I hope it will in you. <BR> <BR> Please keep passing it on until everyone in our country has read it. <BR> <BR> The government is now referring to our Social Security checks as a "Federal Benefit Payment." This isn't a benefit. It is our money paid out ... Sun, 27 Mar 2016 16:30:53 EST Still feeling the effects of the time change? "Every appliance with a clock should have a Daylight Savings button to push. You'd only use it twice a year, but that's more than I use the 'Potato' button on my microwave." -Jimmy Kimmel <BR> <BR> *** <BR> <BR> "It's Daylight Savings Time. Why does it have to happen on the weekend? Why can't they do it on a Wednesday at 4:00? 'Hey look, now it's 5:00. Time to go home!'"-Stephen Colbert Wed, 16 Mar 2016 20:03:34 EST How to wash a cat 1 Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. <BR> 2 Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him to the bathroom. <BR> 3 In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid. <BR> 4 At this point the cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet: the cat is actually enjoying this! <BR> 5 Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-... Sun, 6 Mar 2016 17:34:57 EST Best Thing Ever To Happen To A Racist Man In A Bar. A racist walks into a crowded bar. He looks around and sees a black man sitting in a corner. <BR> <BR> The racist walks up to the bar, turns around and announces, "I'm going to buy everyone in this bar a free drink, except for that black guy over there!" Everybody is clapping and cheering for the racist and when he buys the last pint, the black man turns around, puts his thumb up and says, "Thanks mate!" <BR> <BR> The racist is slightly puzzled by his reaction but doesn't pay too much atten... Sun, 6 Mar 2016 01:11:06 EST Irishman Says Something He Shouldn’t Have About His Wife At The Pub. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!' That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! <BR> <BR> He went home and told his wife, 'Mary, I won the prize for the Best toast of the night!' <BR> <BR> She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' <BR> <BR> John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.' <BR> <BR> 'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Ma... Fri, 26 Feb 2016 01:27:19 EST A letter from the Post Office...this is absolutely the best!! <img src=""> <BR> Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. <BR> The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. <BR> She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. <BR> I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words: <BR> <BR> Dear God, <BR> Will you please... Sun, 14 Feb 2016 18:14:16 EST What it's like to have cataracts <img src=""> Sat, 13 Feb 2016 22:51:53 EST Perks of Old Age <img src=""> Tue, 9 Feb 2016 09:58:03 EST Mom Is Shocked When This Naked Woman Waved At Her Three Young Children. But Her Son’s Reply Is Hyste 1) NUDITY <BR> <BR> My kids have always been observant of their surroundings, but they tend to pick out details no one else would notice. I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" <BR> <BR> 2) OPINIONS <BR> <BR> On the first day of school, a first-grader hand... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 21:23:21 EST Life is Short... <img src=""> Tue, 26 Jan 2016 10:03:09 EST Late Night Jokes for January 22 Late Night Funny #1 <BR> <BR> Yesterday in Iowa, Sarah Palin gave a 20-minute speech to endorse Donald Trump for president, while Trump stood off to the side. Palin described Trump as a great leader, while Trump described being quiet for 20 minutes as the most painful experience of his life. -Jimmy Fallon <BR> <BR> Late Night Funny #2 <BR> <BR> Critics are calling Sarah Palin’s endorsement speech of Donald Trump "bizarre," "meandering," and "mystifying." In other words, she’s still got it.... Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:31:12 EST The Sandpiper by Robert Peterson She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea. <BR> "Hello," she said. <BR> I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child. <BR> "I'm building," she said. <BR> "I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring. <BR> "Oh, I d... Fri, 22 Jan 2016 17:45:15 EST That sneeze <img src=""> Fri, 22 Jan 2016 17:30:06 EST The Lone Ranger In honor of Black History month: Check out this website: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>-ranger-was-an-african-american-lawman<BR>-who-lived-with-native-american-indians/ </link> <BR> <BR> Or copy and paste: <BR> <BR><BR>one-ranger-was-an-african-american-law<BR>man-who-lived-with-native-american-indians/ Wed, 20 Jan 2016 14:47:43 EST She Just Wanted To Protect Her House. But This Cab Driver Is Now Terrified My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre. <BR> <BR> Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. <BR> <BR> When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn't want to leave them unchaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrie... Fri, 15 Jan 2016 05:34:39 EST The Most Embarrassing Taco Bell Visit Ever. This Kid Is Priceless. <BR> <BR> My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. <BR> <BR> While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said, "No." <BR> <BR> I kept thinki... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 18:15:27 EST Little Girl Shocks Her School Teacher. This Is Perfect. I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. <BR> <BR> When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on the... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 04:28:34 EST Three Women Challenged Him To A Bet. He Might Regret This. Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. <BR> <BR> About then an old Grandpa walked by, and one of the old Grandma's yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.' <BR> <BR> The old man said, 'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.' <BR> <BR> One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.' <BR> <BR> Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they cou... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 04:16:01 EST Handyman Husband Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: <BR> <BR> WINDOWS FROZEN ~ WON'T OPEN <BR> <BR> <BR> Husband texts back: <BR> <BR> GENTLY POUR SOME LUKEWARM WATER OVER IT <BR> & GENTLY TAP EDGES WITH HAMMER <BR> <BR> <BR> Wife texts back 5 minutes later: <BR> <BR> COMPUTER REALLY MESSED UP NOW Thu, 7 Jan 2016 22:17:30 EST HOW THE INTERNET STARTED .... ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE REALLY [Please do not Google or check this with Snopes. They will lie to you. Trust me!] <BR> <BR> In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. <BR> <BR> And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou ca... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 20:52:35 EST Nun Gets The Shock Of Her Life While Waiting For Her Flight. So Embarrassing. A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago. <BR> <BR> She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, "I'll give it a try and see what it tells me." <BR> <BR> She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs, and you are going to Chicago." <BR> <BR> The Nun sat back down and told herself that the machine probab... Sat, 2 Jan 2016 08:41:19 EST Girl Gets A Shocking Letter From Her Grandmother. This Is Perfect. Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: <BR> <BR> Dear Grand-daughter, <BR> <BR> The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker .. <BR> <BR> I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. <BR> <BR> So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. <BR> <BR> Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifti... Sat, 26 Dec 2015 02:46:27 EST Why people go to Arizona for the winter <link><BR>lLNQYrI </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> Better copy and past this into your browser...Enjoy! Wed, 23 Dec 2015 22:22:26 EST Don't mess with a nun, they are wicked smart!! According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. <BR> <BR> That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral <BR> skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick, they would <BR> press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip <BR> prints. <BR> <BR> Every night the maintenance man would remove them; <BR> and the next da... Wed, 23 Dec 2015 22:15:41 EST A Little Girl Helps Deliver Her Baby Brother And Her Reaction Is Hilarious As that old familiar saying goes, "Kids say the darnedest things!" And considering how wild their imaginations are, it's really no wonder why! <BR> <BR> Kids' imaginations are so active that they truly believe in the existence of invisible friends, monsters beneath their beds, and fairies who exchange their teeth for cash. <BR> <BR> It's pretty bizarre, but also undeniably cute and hilarious - especially when their innocent perspective offers a fresh take on some pretty adult themes, like m... Sun, 20 Dec 2015 03:43:09 EST Man Tries To Get On Wife’s Nerves. But How He Did It Is Priceless. My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. <BR> I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have Sex?" <BR> "No," she answered. <BR> I then said, "Is that your final answer?" ... <BR> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes.." <BR> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." <BR> And that's when the fight started... <BR> <BR> I took my wife to a French restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. <BR> "I'll have the rump... Sun, 13 Dec 2015 04:47:02 EST 21 Best One-Liner Jokes. #15 Is Just Evil 1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves. <BR> <BR> 2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain. <BR> <BR> 3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant. <BR> <BR> 4. I, for one, like Roman numerals. <BR> <BR> 5. I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. <BR> <BR> 6. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now. <BR> <BR> 7.... Sun, 6 Dec 2015 02:09:37 EST Couple Gets A Shock When Their Son Runs In Panicked. If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! <BR> <BR> Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. <BR> <BR> "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, dad, can you help?" <BR> <BR> I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him ... Sun, 6 Dec 2015 01:07:50 EST