SUNSHINE192DAY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=SUNSHINE192DAY SUNSHINE192DAY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Doctor Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5821023 Maurice, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor for his physical. <BR> <BR> A few days later the doctor saw Maurice walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. <BR> <BR> A couple of days later do doctor spoke to Maurice and said, “You’re really dong great, aren’t you?” <BR> <BR> Maurice replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: “Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.” <BR> <BR> The doctor said, “I did not say that. I said, “You got a heart murmur. Be careful.” Sat, 22 Nov 2014 09:09:28 EST Marriage Mayhem (Joke)! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5820796 "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." <BR> <BR> "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" <BR> <BR> "I know all that." <BR> <BR> "Then, why did you invite a friend for supper?" <BR> <BR> "Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married." Fri, 21 Nov 2014 18:23:44 EST Not a Joke Today but a Request... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5820216 I need you guys' and gals' help. As some of you know I've been praying for a truly sweet little girl named Kate McRae since she was diagnosed with a severe and aggressive form of brain cancer when she was 5. Now she's 10 and in her 3rd relapse with the disease. Please, please pray for her to be healed. I want this for her so badly because she would take this miracle and proclaim it from the rooftops. Here is her caring bridge site: <BR> <BR> http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekat<BR>e ... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 16:18:24 EST Fishing Funny! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5819640 Two buddies are fishing, but they haven’t caught anything all day. Then, another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish. They ask him "Excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?" <BR> <BR> The other fisherman replies, "If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, there are a ton of hungry fish." <BR> <BR> They thank him and go on their way. 15 minutes later, one fisherman says to the other "Fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty." <BR> <BR> H... Wed, 19 Nov 2014 16:30:16 EST Scholar Silly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5818467 A scholar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer three questions: <BR> <BR> 1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". <BR> <BR> 2. How many seconds are in a year? <BR> <BR> 3. What is God's first name? <BR> <BR> The scholar thought for a few minutes and answered... <BR> <BR> 1. The two days of the wee... Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:06:42 EST Knock Knock Chuckle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5817913 Knock Knock <BR> <BR> Who's there? <BR> <BR> Alex <BR> <BR> Alex who? <BR> <BR> Alexplain later now let me in. Sun, 16 Nov 2014 19:53:52 EST Bartender Silly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5817493 An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way buddy you're too drunk." <BR> <BR> A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs, "Give me a drink," bartender says, "No man I told you last time you're too drunk." <BR> <BR> Five minutes later the guy comes in through the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You're too drunk." <BR> <BR> The drunk scratches his head and says "Dang, I mu... Sat, 15 Nov 2014 22:57:33 EST Jewelry Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816421 The man charged into the jewelry shop, slammed his fists angrily on the showcase, removed a wristwatch from his pocket and shook it under the nose of the owner. “You said this watch would last me a lifetime,” he yelled. “Yeah,” admitted the owner. “But you looked pretty sick the day you bought it.” Thu, 13 Nov 2014 22:29:11 EST Tax Tickle (Joke) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815411 A man wrote a letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.” Wed, 12 Nov 2014 09:17:12 EST Skeleton Silly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814758 A skeleton walks down empty Main Street. Suddenly he sees another skeleton carrying a gravestone. "Hey, what are you doing?” the other skeleton answers "Just strolling", "Why do have the gravestone, buddy?", "Because I always want to have some ID”. Tue, 11 Nov 2014 09:23:45 EST Fall Garfield Funny! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814380 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/2/l623077831.jpg"> Mon, 10 Nov 2014 17:22:01 EST My Generation's Kind of Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5813354 A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.” <BR> <BR> The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see.” replied the father-in-law, “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.” “I hate office wor... Sun, 9 Nov 2014 00:36:12 EST Oz Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5811273 Why did Dorothy get lost in Oz? <BR> <BR> She had three men giving her directions. Wed, 5 Nov 2014 10:44:30 EST I'm BAAAAACK!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5810889 I've quit my old job and now my focus is school and health so I'm back! Jokes will resume tomorrow! I've missed you all sooooo much!!! Tue, 4 Nov 2014 19:47:59 EST I'm BAAAAACK!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5810888 I've quit my old job and now my focus is school and health so I'm back! Jokes will resume tomorrow! I've missed you all sooooo much!!! Tue, 4 Nov 2014 19:47:56 EST This Week... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5772977 Well I'm sick-ish with pharyngitis. It's viral so I still have to go to work on Friday but I feel absolutely horrible with the sore throat and the sniffles. I hope everything is well with you guys. Right now I'm off to study some more... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 23:21:09 EST Hi Again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768861 How are you guys doing? I have part of the week off so I'm doing ok. I've been trying to just focus on school. I just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone! Thu, 28 Aug 2014 16:43:31 EST One-derland! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5767524 So I have all sorts of exciting news including that this past Saturday I FINALLY REACHED ONE-DERLAND! I'm 199.2! <BR> <BR> Also, I got my first 2 college classes done and got my grades. I got an A in Intro to Online Learning and in my really tough Psychology class I got a B. I was just praying for a C lol. <BR> <BR> Other than that nothing exciting has happened. What are you guys all up to? Tue, 26 Aug 2014 16:58:53 EST Well... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5749438 Thanks to work and my fitbit I've reached my 10,000 steps a day twice so far this week! I have to work today and, everyday until Monday, so I think I'll make it a couple more days at least! I walk a LOT at work lol. <BR> <BR> So what have you guys been up to? Let me know in the comments. I read EVERY comment to my blogs! Have a blessed day everyone! Wed, 30 Jul 2014 07:14:17 EST I got a Fitbit! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5746887 Any advice on how to use it or connect it to sparkpeople is very welcome! And here's a funny to go with it! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1128047919.jpg"> Sat, 26 Jul 2014 11:09:57 EST Bear Silly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5741988 The National Game warden put out a warning to all hikers in his area. Warning that they should wear small bells on their boots so not to startle the bears. To distinguish the grizzly bear the notice read-- small bears droppings are small with nut and berries in it. Grizzly bear droppings are much larger with nuts and berries and little tiny bells in it. Sat, 19 Jul 2014 09:32:20 EST Sabbatical... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5741740 Sorry for my absence for the last few months. I have been working very hard and have advanced to manager at work. Also, recently I got a new boyfriend who treats me rather well! I have still lost a little bit of weight, going from 208.0 to 200.6! I'm so excited about hitting One-derland again! I weigh in tomorrow so we'll see how close I am then! I hope everyone's ok and enjoying their summer. I plan to be on more often now. See you soon! Fri, 18 Jul 2014 21:07:44 EST Contractor Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5714892 Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Rhode Island State house in Providence, one from Cranston, and another from North Kingstown and the third, Exeter. They go with a State house official to examine the fence. <BR> <BR> The North Kingstown contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." <BR> <BR> The... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 10:45:15 EST Flying Funny! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712170 A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?" Fri, 6 Jun 2014 14:30:12 EST Beer Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5711381 Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" "Nah" Guinness replies. "If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I." Thu, 5 Jun 2014 14:10:49 EST Student Silly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5710426 A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this exam," she says.She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything..."He returns her gaze, "Anything?""Anything."His voice softens, "Anything?""Anything," she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... study?" <BR> Wed, 4 Jun 2014 10:22:47 EST Drunk Times (Joke) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5706994 An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way, buddy, you're too drunk." <BR> <BR> A few minutes later, the drunk comes in though the bathroom. Again he slurs, "Give me a drink," and the bartender says, "No, man, I told you last time -- you're too drunk" <BR> <BR> Five minutes later the guy comes in though the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You're too drunk" <BR> <BR> The drunk scratches his head and says ... Fri, 30 May 2014 18:32:19 EST Horse Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5706115 <BR> A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, <BR> <BR> "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine". <BR> <BR> The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the tr... Thu, 29 May 2014 14:24:26 EST Woman Silly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5705040 Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week? <BR> <BR> A: A widow. Wed, 28 May 2014 09:19:28 EST Employment Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5704346 A suggestion from a Human Resources Manager: <BR> <BR> HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES . . . <BR> <BR> 1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room. <BR> <BR> 2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door. <BR> <BR> 3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours. <BR> <BR> 4. Then analyze the situation: <BR> <BR> a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department. <BR> <BR> b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing. <BR> <BR> c. If they have messed ... Tue, 27 May 2014 12:06:26 EST And the depression is creeping in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5703644 I can feel it like a disease creeping in. I don't want to do anything, even eat, and I just want to sleep. Nothing matters to me like it did even a week ago. The worst part is that I just had a doctor's appointment a week ago today and I told them I was doing great, because I was. Now the question is: What the heck do I do now? I think I can just ride it out but then again, is that just the depression thinking? Oh man, this sucks! Any words of encouragement or advice is welcome as long as it'... Mon, 26 May 2014 15:20:48 EST Calorie Funny! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5702954 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1556705947.jpg"> Sun, 25 May 2014 18:19:16 EST Cats and Love! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5702109 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/6/l86229984.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/4/l947122871.jpg"> (She wouldn't let me see her bright blue eyes in the pic. Lol cats) <BR> <BR> It's often easy to spot when cats are being finicky or feisty. But what about when they are showing pure feline affection? What does that look like? <BR> <BR> We spoke with Dr. Allen Schoen, a veterinarian, behaviorist and author of the best-selling book Kindred Spirits... Sat, 24 May 2014 11:48:48 EST Teacher Silly #2! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5701437 Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? <BR> <BR> Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. Fri, 23 May 2014 11:39:07 EST Teacher Silly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5700684 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or “That’s Michael, he's a doctor.'" <BR> <BR> A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead." Thu, 22 May 2014 10:42:43 EST Hi Again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5699712 So in starting my new job, which is on my feet and active much, MUCH more, I have been neglecting sparkpeople. BUT I have lost a little weight, down to 203.8 as of this morning, and I'm eating better to feel better while I'm moving all day. <BR> <BR> I'm still trying to learn to balance everything in my life with my new job. I even quit my old cleaning job because working 2 high activity jobs was killing me quickly lol. I start school next month, June 23, and I will be taking 2 classes over... Wed, 21 May 2014 06:26:34 EST A Princess Blog! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5681822 (Thank you to ASOBFALLS for letting me repost her blog, which is beautiful!) <BR> <BR> Reprinted this Blog for National Princess Week 2014. originally: Wednesday, May 01, 2013 <BR> <BR> As a child I was taught to pray to my 'Heavenly Father' using both my own words and The Lord's Prayer. <BR> If my Father is the King of Kings, then I am a Princess. What qualities does a Princess have? How about the 'Fruits of the Spirit': love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentl... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 18:49:39 EST Accountability Day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5666469 Well I did weigh in on Saturday and I went down to 295.4 which is almost a pound in 1 week! I wasn't able to do all of my workouts last week because I have bronchitis, a sinus infection, AND a bacterial throat infection. Good thing I don't start my new job until next week. <BR> <BR> Since my doctor told me to take a week off from exercising I'm cutting what I eat and eating in moderation. I'm really thinking about what I'm putting in my body BEFORE I do it! Now for some motivation! <BR> <BR... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 11:41:16 EST Job Update! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664551 I got the job I was interviewing for and I feel a bit better today! Thank you all for your prayers! Fri, 4 Apr 2014 19:39:29 EST Prayers Please! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5663722 I have a bacterial infection in my throat. I can't spread it unless someone comes in contact with my saliva but I have a job interview that I need to feel better for tomorrow morning so please pray for me to feel better and, if it's God's will, that I get the job. Thank you all! Thu, 3 Apr 2014 18:48:06 EST Farming Funny! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662773 A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to start farming. He goes to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. <BR> <BR> A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. <BR> <BR> Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500 baby chickens." <BR> <BR> "Wow!" the co-op man replies, "You must really be doing well. " <BR> <BR> "Naw," said the man with a sigh. ... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 15:30:12 EST April Goals! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5661687 I want to make a list of goals for myself for the month ahead. I'm going to chose just 3 and see where that gets me! <BR> <BR> 1. Exercise at least 3 times each week. <BR> <BR> 2. Abstain from fried foods when I eat out. <BR> <BR> 3. Read at least one chapter of the Bible every day. <BR> <BR> Not all of these are fitness related but I figure I might as well keep myself spiritually healthy too! I'm going to take my measurements today and on the 30th and see a difference! (I just know it!) Tue, 1 Apr 2014 11:27:34 EST Accountability Day (Finally!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660990 I weighed in 0.8 pounds heavier at 207. I just can't seem to break the 200 mark but I will! I weighed in after eating (forgot again) and with clothes on so I actually didn't do bad this week! I exercised twice this past week but I ate better. This week I plan to exercise 4 times Sunday (heavy cleaning,) Monday (belly dancing,) Thursday (gazelle,) and Saturday (yoga.) Now for some motivation! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/0/l903292218.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="h... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 16:02:19 EST Stop me if you've heard this one... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660358 One day a genie appeared to a California man and offered to grant him one wish. <BR> <BR> the man said:” I wish you'd build a bridge from here to Hawaii so I could drive there anytime" <BR> <BR> The genie frowned" I don't know. It sounds like quite an undertaking,” he said. "Just think of the logistics. The supports required reaching the bottom of the ocean, the concrete, and the steel! Why don't you pick something else?" <BR> <BR> The man thought for a while and then said, "Okay, I wish f... Sun, 30 Mar 2014 21:33:35 EST A Cannibal Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5659425 (I forgot to weigh in this morning so Accountability Day will be tomorrow!) <BR> <BR> A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain. <BR> <BR> Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A carpenter's brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber's brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He notice... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 16:03:01 EST Vacation Funny! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5658490 Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week's vacation in Majorca. "I wish we'd brought the piano with us," said Mr. Thorne. "What on earth for?" asked his wife. <BR> <BR> "I've left the tickets on it." Fri, 28 Mar 2014 10:02:39 EST Doctor Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5657737 A doctor calls his patient and says, "The check you gave me for my bill came back." <BR> <BR> The patient replied, "So did my arthritis!" Thu, 27 Mar 2014 10:32:46 EST Unga Bunga Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5656073 Three men were shipwrecked on a desert island and where captured by the local natives. They were brought to the chief native. The chief gave the men two choices; they could have death or submit to unga bunga. The first man decides he does not want to die, so he chooses unga bunga. Ten of the natives took him into the woods, when he came back one hour later he was all beaten up. The second man chooses unga bunga and he was taken out the woods for 2 hours where the natives beat him up. The thir... Tue, 25 Mar 2014 09:57:40 EST Accountability Day and Other Updates! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655275 Well I exercised 3 times this week but I forgot that I had promised my boyfriend that I'd help him move some stuff out of his shop and that my bedroom was getting moved downstairs this weekend. So all of my exercise was spent moving boxes lol. But I lost a little over 1 pound last week! <BR> <BR> This week I'm planning more exercise than just moving things yesterday. I'm also planning on getting in exercise Monday (Belly Dancing,) Thursday (Gazelle,) and Saturday (Yoga.) I'm actually going t... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 10:40:15 EST A Friday Salute! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5653041 I thought I'd share a tiny salute to all our emergency responders! Thank you all so much! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1358506020.jpg"> Fri, 21 Mar 2014 09:12:38 EST