SUNNYSIDEUPMARY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=SUNNYSIDEUPMARY SUNNYSIDEUPMARY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ August Challenges - And On To September! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5771866 AUGUST CHALLENGES <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/7/l970525238.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> SLEEP BET - I blew past my goal to average more than 7 hours of sleep a night! I averaged 7:49! I'd guess that I had been getting 6.5 - 7 hours. I am a person who has always needed a lot of sleep - 8 to 9 hours. The range for August was 5:40 to 9:38. The extreme short time was after I worked an overnight shift. I am not feeling terribly energetic generally, but I do feel w... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 11:56:19 EST My Ice Bucket Challenge Video - With a Sunny Mary Twist http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768033 Posting as requested by a dear Spark Friend - here is my video ;) Wed, 27 Aug 2014 11:20:54 EST Day 7 I Can Do It; Day 8 Help Me, Please...* http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768019 *"Day" blogs based on activities in Linda Spangle's 100 Day Weight Loss book. <BR> ********************* <BR> <BR> Day 7 I Can Do It <BR> <BR> Today is about becoming my own cheerleader. I set up my vision board on my Start Page to focus on words of encouragement: "I Can Do Hard Things" 2x, "I Totally Matter", "I Will Eat What Fuels My Body Best", "I Am Doing This For ME" and "Love Yourself First And Everything Else Falls Into Line - Lucille Ball". And I will post at least ten sticky no... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 11:01:58 EST Bucket List Dilemma http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5767970 I am not sure why I am balking at writing a bucket list. Through my employer, I have access to an online wellness program that includes new ways to earn points each month - for August, we are to write a bucket list and accomplish one thing on it. My only life goal right now is to hike the Ice Age Trail, a 1200 mile long trail. So far I've hiked 474 miles. It has gotten harder to get out on the trail since new trail is further away, I now work full-time (including most weekends) and I don'... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 09:58:26 EST Day 5 - Magic Notebook; Day 6 - Protect My Program http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5766706 Day 5 - Magic Notebook <BR> <BR> I like the idea of the magic notebook. I see it as two things really - a journal, which I have here through Spark's Planner, for longer writing; and a quick note like on a memo on my phone or paper in my pocket when I am at work. I like the idea of for the moment writing down the name of the tempting food, maybe a description, then telling myself I am not going to eat any right now. 'Course, I could carry paper in my pocket outside of work as well - and ... Mon, 25 Aug 2014 11:57:34 EST My First "Race" of the Year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5766671 Feeling underwhelmed, disappointed that my first "race" of the year was not the victorious return to running that I'd hoped. I used to run/walk intervals of 3 min/1 min. My recovery from the knee injury is going SO slow that I am still doing 35sec/60 sec intervals. And my knee is still a little stiff and achy after sitting. I so badly want to be out there running and hiking long distances. And now I am feeling the overwhelming awareness of fall coming and that there is not much time left... Mon, 25 Aug 2014 10:57:26 EST Day 3 Do It Anyway; Day 4 Boundaries, Not Diets; My Tired Feet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5764301 Day 3 Do It Anyway <BR> <BR> Great idea! I will use this in the evenings to get me to do a craft while watching TV or to relocate away from the kitchen. <BR> <BR> And actually, I employed this idea subconsciously when I chose to read this chapter and do this writing. I wanted to do anything but what I was "supposed to" since I work the closing shift today and am being "cheated" of a relaxing evening. I need to do these chapters - and they won't take the whole time I have until I have to... Thu, 21 Aug 2014 13:29:48 EST Day 1 I Used to Be That Way and Day 2 Interested or Committed? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5762783 A Spark Team I am on is starting the chapter-a-day readings and exercises in Linda Spangle's 100 Days of Weight Loss (100DWL). The book looks at emotional eating, which is really where my issues lie. I've done some of this book before, and revisiting prior lessons can be valuable. So here I am. <BR> <BR> **************************************** <BR> <BR> Day 1 I Used to Be That Way... <BR> <BR> Fears and Negative Behaviors That Have Hurt My Past Weight Loss Efforts REFRAMED: <BR> <BR> ... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 10:02:03 EST Day 70 No Good or Bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5740623 Day 70 No Good or Bad* <BR> <BR> Rather than label foods, my behavior or myself as good or bad, Spangle suggests reframing by referring to eating choices. By changing language, she says I am taking back my power around food and acknowledging my responsibility for my food decisions. Here are some comments on my food choices from yesterday: <BR> <BR> I made a great food choice late last night to not fill up with unneeded calories from shredded cheese! <BR> <BR> My choice to have a sangria... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:20:26 EST Forgiveness - No Idea How to Do This http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5739992 Forgiveness. <BR> <BR> What is it? What does it mean to me? So much to say, yet so little. <BR> <BR> I don't know how to do it. <BR> <BR> My counselor asked if I ever had it modelled for me. I sat and thought and thought, then said, "no". Then I remembered the only forgiving person that I could think of - and I *really* don't get how she could do it. My father's first wife was Bernie. I am the oldest child from my father's second marriage. Bernie somehow managed to move on from be... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 10:31:17 EST Gibbs Slap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731216 Okay, fellow Sparkers, I am in need of the Gibbs slap I got yesterday. <BR> <BR> I need to check in with Spark daily - and I am in need of a team or Spark Buddy for support. Do you have any recommendations? <BR> <BR> I pushed too hard in my at-home PT to be able to run/walk a 5 mile race tomorrow - and now I am limping again on my stiff knee. I SO want to be able to run. I am near tears as I write this. I like my Galloway group here, but it got to be emotionally painful to read about ... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 10:17:55 EST My Sleep Challenge - and PT Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708628 I am challenging myself to complete a 7 day streak of a sleep challenge. The two components are getting ready for bed on time and getting up on time. Today I am at 1 & 1 for the challenge! <BR> <BR> Since I expect to be on a regular 6-2:30 M-F work schedule after July 4th while my store is being remodelled, I decided to experiment with seeing what a regular sleep schedule might do for my self care. My usual wake up time will be 5 am, with the only exception being freight days at work when... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 06:45:06 EST Day 48 You Gotta Want To... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5683040 Interesting twist in today's 100DWL reading and exercises. <BR> *************************************** <BR> I DON'T WANT TO: <BR> <BR> Get enough sleep <BR> <BR> Stop binge watching Netflix <BR> <BR> Eat within my calorie range <BR> <BR> Feel connected other people - online and in real life <BR> <BR> Make healthy choices while at a scrapbook weekend. <BR> <BR> ******************************* <BR> That sounds about right a lot of the time. It is easier to hide by not doing these things... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:05:17 EST Day 47 Kick the Can't http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5681689 Things I "Can't" Do: <BR> <BR> Get enough sleep <BR> <BR> Stop binge watching Netflix <BR> <BR> Eat within my calorie range <BR> <BR> Feel connected other people - online and in real life <BR> <BR> Make healthy choices while at a scrapbook weekend. <BR> <BR> <BR> Reframing the above list: <BR> <BR> It's hard to get enough sleep, but I'll find a way! Maybe I could change the tone for my get-ready-for-bed alarm so it more novel and I am less likely to dismiss it. DONE <BR> <BR> It'... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 15:04:59 EST Day 44 It's Not the Right Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5665025 Yes, this is the right time to work on healthy living. A few months back, it was not with my husband's unemployment, lacking good insurance and with my mother's hospitalizations. Now, Dave is employed, I have that full-time job with benefits (insurance!) and Mother is currently out of the hospital. Now, I would not be surprised if my mother continues to be in and out of the hospital. <BR> <BR> So what are the current roadblocks to healthy living? And what can I do about them? <BR> <BR... Sat, 5 Apr 2014 12:28:33 EST Are My Feelings Important to Me? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664533 Are my feelings important to me? <BR> <BR> Am I living the life I want to live? <BR> <BR> These are the questions that I have been avoiding, that I have been pushing away with food and binge watching of TV. With taking care of everyone else. But the thoughts keep coming up - I am listening for now, in this moment. This is progress. <BR> <BR> I've also had thoughts like "If Katie can do it, so can I". What do I want my 'after' picture to look like? I love the smiles in her after pi... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 19:14:47 EST Updates, My Plan and Hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5649913 I have lots to update y'all on. I am now eligible for benefits through my job, so I am participating in the online wellness program. I had a bunch of routine blood tests done as part of that. I especially went in out of concern for possible thyroid symptoms (mental and energy) - turns out that med does need to be increased. And my HDL needs to be raised. Given a very strong family history of diabetes and heart disease, I was relieved that my other numbers were great. I will have a full ... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 12:12:53 EST Day 56 Head Hunger http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5633458 Part of me is hesitant to post a second blog entry in one day, because I don't want the first one to be lost to any readers or commentors since I am rather excited about the Good News and Goals. But the following entry about "head hunger" and grinding feels important to me also. <BR> <BR> ********************** <BR> <BR> In the 100 Days of Weight Loss challenge on the Emotional Eaters team, I am simultaneously working "my" day's challenge (Day 22) and joining the rest of the group (Day 56)... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:53:23 EST Good News and Likely Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5633347 Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, today is a big step further towards better times for my family and me. <BR> <BR> DH started a contract job today. It is much further away than we'd like, but it sure pays better than unemployment. And he will still be looking for a permanent job near home. <BR> <BR> And I have some quiet time at home by myself. Deep breath. <BR> <BR> We've gone back to the deep freeze. Sigh. Running outside is not in my near future - not 'til it warms up to about 25*... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 10:52:34 EST Days 17 & 18 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5628152 Overate and overwatched TV yesterday. Gave permission to cats to 'hold me hostage' so I stayed on the couch - especially our 20YO oldster cat. Rose. <BR> <BR> <BR> Day 17 - Stop Wasting food <BR> <BR> Did I ever waste food into myself yesterday. <BR> <BR> I did leave a bit of food on my plate - offered it to N. How did it feel? At that point I had overeaten so much that I was feeling maybe ashamed, out of control or not much at all. I wish I had journalled before reaching for food. ... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 09:31:55 EST Days 13 & 14 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5624668 Day 13 - Oops, I Forgot to Eat! <BR> <BR> Not a problem here. Already have alarms set for fuel times. <BR> <BR> Day 14 - Morning Affects Evening <BR> <BR> I do eat breakfast. Often I am very tired and hungry in the late afternoon and evening. I can follow the recommendation to ALWAYS eat an afternoon snack at 3:30ish that includes protein. <BR> <BR> *************** <BR> <BR> Yesterday was not a good day in terms of eating and watching TV. Actually, it may even be my worst ever. Watc... Sat, 15 Feb 2014 10:40:08 EST Mini Update: Struggling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5623490 Slightly Longer Update: <BR> <BR> Still around - sort of. Been struggling with and losing myself in the desire to escape through overeating and overwatching TV. If y'all have read past blogs, it is the same old, same old stressors. <BR> <BR> I haven't been doing much on Spark - or much self-care at all. I am trying to work on the 100 Day Challenge - am on Day 12 - Fuel or Filler. Haven't been going to the gym or even running consistently. <BR> <BR> I was literally a half pound away ... Thu, 13 Feb 2014 21:48:03 EST Day 6 Protect My Program (and) Day 7 - I CAN DO IT! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5618728 Friday: <BR> <BR> The eating is not going well. No written plan. Felt stressed by tax prep. And felt sorry myself that I'd be all alone on a Friday night. And D and N would be having the fun I want to have. Overeating and overwatching. And not planning, working my program. <BR> <BR> Day 6 Protect My Program <BR> <BR> *"Watch for ways to recognize and avoid situations that might cause you to weaken."* <BR> <BR> No one will ever care as much about my eating plan as me. One way to sidestep a... Sat, 8 Feb 2014 15:06:15 EST Day 5 - Magic Notebook http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5617288 Read through today's challenge before early start at work (5am). Did make some notes of food temptations on loose piece of paper. Figured I could use those and/or my phone to make notes to come back to write about in my journal and/or blog. One thing I learned - without a plan, my eating for the day can be distracted by a whim, backslide to old habits, and proximity to temptation. <BR> <BR> Today's challenge speaks to me. "Just because you think about a food doesn't mean you have to ea... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 21:05:36 EST Day 4 - Boundaries, Not Diets http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5615767 The reading for today's challenge talks about following a path, rather than a rigid completely on or completely off diet. And when a person might stray from a path, they can get back on it, get going in short order back in the goal direction. <BR> <BR> I have never really 'dieted' in the sense of trying to follow a rigid, temporary plan for weight loss. Hmmm - take that back, I did do a brief stint with Weight Watchers years ago, got to goal weight, but felt the program lacked in helping... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 10:12:27 EST Day 3 - Do It Anyway http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5615100 How did it feel to take a 'no matter what' approach to healthy eating yesterday - hopeful that with the plan for food I could do it, okay that I chose to add a mini-snack of 1/2 cup beans before bed, proud of what I accomplished, hopeful that I could continue this approach and would earn success. <BR> <BR> Actions I Plan to Stick With Today, Regardless of How I Feel at the Moment: <BR> <BR> Plan food <BR> Prep food <BR> Track food <BR> Run - 45 minutes with a 'magic mile' <BR> <BR> I ha... Tue, 4 Feb 2014 15:00:15 EST Day 2 - Interested Or Committed? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5614141 Am I interested or committed to living a healthy lifestyle? Very intriguing concept that 'hits my nail on its head'! I have little difficulty with being committed to exercise, or at least the cardio portion. But healthy eating - that I have not been committed to no matter what. I trained for and completed a marathon. I need to bring that commitment to healthy eating. <BR> <BR> And oh my goodness do I have a BIG opportunity to demonstrate that commitment today. Today I am smack dab in... Mon, 3 Feb 2014 14:57:00 EST Day 1 - I Used to Be That Way... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5613154 Dear Friends, <BR> <BR> I have been struggling alot with emotional eating and taking care of myself. I have not been on Spark much lately. I have reduced my Spark Other Goals list to two goals for the rest of February: track my food and each day complete a day in the 100 Days Challenge. <BR> <BR> This Challenge is based on my reading the "100 Days of Weight Loss" by Linda Spangle, which was recommended on the Emotional Eaters team. <BR> <BR> Day 1's challenge started with listing fear... Sun, 2 Feb 2014 15:21:43 EST A Respite of Calm Before the Storm Resumes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5602237 I am choosing to take some of this calm quiet time to write before the storm of activity hits. <BR> <BR> I have actually been able to relax some on this trip by myself to MN to help my DD Jillian. Yeah! <BR> <BR> I am concerned about DD, her anxiety and all the normal questioning she is doing as a college freshman. I have been supporting and guiding her where necessary, particularly about the anxiety. She's been SO happy to see me, that I am worried about how she'll do when we don't se... Wed, 22 Jan 2014 11:11:45 EST Encouraging News http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5593883 Went in today for an interview at work for a promotion to head (or lead) of a department in my store. I knew going in that I was well liked and thought highly of regarding my work performance. I also knew that of the candidates I knew of applying for the position in Kids, I was not the strongest candidate in that my experience is primarily with hardlines areas, not softlines. The store manager told me that I will be a lead, and that she has Shoes in mind for me. The current lead in Shoes ... Tue, 14 Jan 2014 19:01:35 EST The Time is Now http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5589687 The time is now. <BR> <BR> The time to take care of myself is now. Not tomorrow. The "things will get better when" mentality is wrong - the "when" may not come or be exactly how I want it. I should not put myself off until...my morning routine is done, work is over, Mother is out of the hospital, my husband gets a job again. Yes, I have responsibilities to/for others that can't be put off 'until I get my act together'. But I could choose hummus and chips from the hospital cafeteria rat... Fri, 10 Jan 2014 22:15:57 EST I Don't Want to Be Journalling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5588361 I don't want to be journalling, writing a blog entry or doing SP stuff right now. <BR> <BR> I want to be eating, eating, eating, watching fluff stuff on Netflix. Anything to not feel. <BR> <BR> So what am I feeling? Hot - it is warm in this room that is right above the furnace. Distracted by the cats wrestling in the hallway, which results in bangs on the door. Trying to figure out how to arrange the cheapest way to stay near DD, who has requested I come visit her at college. Fearful... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 17:30:43 EST Why One Day of Eating In Range Is a Huge Victory http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5583969 I ate in range yesterday. <BR> <BR> This is a huge victory. Eating in range was something I rarely did anyway before my recent downward spiral. Between Nov.20th and Jan.4th, I chose to ignore most common-Spark-sense, to ignore myself. I haven't been tracking, and have chosen to eat, eat, eat in quantity. I've not done strength training or non-running cardio. And I even had a period of 8 days with absolutely no exercise. I gained 9.2 pounds. <BR> <BR> Besides the ongoing stresses inclu... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 08:14:20 EST Big Challenges Keep Coming and Coming http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5570966 I just got another big whopping responsibility dumped on my shoulders. I need some relief, not more responsibility. But, this is my daughter and there is no one else to hand it over to, so I have to do it. <BR> <BR> DD's GI doc - who is one of the most compassionate, kind docs I've ever dealt with - believes that her GI issues and 20# weight loss are due to generalized anxiety disorder. It is apparently severe enough that there are some serious concern that she might not be able to succee... Tue, 24 Dec 2013 08:48:41 EST Yin and Yang http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5570363 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/9/l69675105.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I am not sure if I quite have the metaphors and imagery right for myself, but here goes. I feel like I have been making small progress in trying new ways to be, while also swinging way far and deep into less healthy behavior. Have others gone through this? People who have reached maintenance, experienced some success, have episodes of this on their journey? This morning, the yin and yang symbol came to mind afte... Mon, 23 Dec 2013 09:26:37 EST Back on the Healthy Living Path! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5569189 For a few days there, I just gave in to the stress, the feeling of being worn out. Parts of this felt and tasted a little good, but the whole thing really didn't feel right. <BR> <BR> Side note: funny and/or ironic almost-typo up there - instead of typing ' a little good', I started to type' a little food'. It's been more than a little food. <BR> <BR> Things have gotten a little better here. We will have regular health insurance again starting 1/1. We've only had catastrophic coverage since... Sat, 21 Dec 2013 09:19:00 EST I Need Help With Emotional Eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5565510 I need help. <BR> <BR> I have a big problem with emotional eating. <BR> <BR> I don't want to feel - it is not safe. <BR> <BR> Would any of you be able to direct me to resources that might help me learn to deal with this? Possible resources might include a Spark team, blogs, Success Stories, being a Spark Friend, how to meditate, how to live in the present. <BR> <BR> I like to exercise and love to run - but as the saying goes, All the Exercise in the World Doesn't Make Up for a Crappy D... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 09:38:30 EST The Weather, Drama, an Update and the Mayor http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5562410 Painting a picture here: It was ZERO degrees out. That is all you need to know. <BR> <BR> It was so cold out this afternoon that I did not want to make another stop after work and taking my mother to rehab. I hemmed and hawed about going to the gym for ST and cardio. If I went straight home though, I knew I would just eat, eat, eat. Still hemming and hawing - it is blasted cold out. Then I remembered I left my everyday shoes at the gym yesterday - needing to pick those up was what tipp... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 21:05:24 EST Indoor 20K Race Report http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5559968 Isn't wonderful that not everything has to be a drama? :) <BR> <BR> Today I ran my first indoor race, the inaugural Badgerland Striders Indoor 20K for Toys for Tots. My running partner (AKA Dave, my DH) was not able to join me as he has been having pain in his ankle when running more than 2 miles. We would not have been able to run together for this race anyway because the track is only three lanes wide, so we would have needed to make sure we could pass and be passed. <BR> <BR> No he... Sun, 8 Dec 2013 19:31:47 EST Family Junk - Feel? Move On? What to Do? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5559142 Trying to figure when the right thing to do is to feel the feelings versus moving on is something on my mind. It seems weird to say that I don't know how to let myself feel. I don't know if it is safe, will I survive it, will anyone be there to pick up the pieces. On the other hand, I am just plain tired of the same cr@p coming up again and again. The family I was born into is just messed up, and new incidents stir up old issues. <BR> <BR> Basic Info: <BR> Mother is in assisted living ab... Sat, 7 Dec 2013 13:57:12 EST November Goal Update - And Moving Forward! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5558277 When I read John Bingham's blog post on an upcoming 100 Days Challenge, I thought why wait until January 1 and why limit it to exercise? And since I am recovering perfectionist who sometimes goes too far the other way, I decided to go back to my personal challenge that I started at the beginning of November. Yes, doing a 100 days in a row of a healthy behavior would be great. I am going to strive to improve my numbers/percentages for December. Tracking food and blogging/journalling are th... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 10:12:15 EST Mini Blog ('Cause This Was Too Long for a Status) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5557023 Feeling worn out and distracted. Haven't had since May any regular time in the house to myself to just think and do stuff uninterrupted. I SO have not been focused. That has been very apparent in my misuse of food and the computer. Seeing my marathon medal reminds me that I can accomplish things, even big things. Having my own plan, sticking to it, getting back to it (when I've gotten off track) really has worked for me. I can get on track and follow my plan! To that end, I did prep fo... Wed, 4 Dec 2013 19:16:06 EST I Screwed Up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5552889 I screwed up. <BR> <BR> I forgot to take my mother to her outpatient cardiac rehab program today. And she couldn't go later because they closed early today. I feel like the Loser Daughter of the Year. I know I disappointed her, possibly lead her to feel not important. <BR> <BR> I am trying to accept that I am human, that I will make mistakes. I want to eat, eat, eat. Somehow I feel it is not okay to make one mistake, even though I do so much driving for my my mother. Most weeks I t... Fri, 29 Nov 2013 16:36:27 EST Others Are Upset = I Eat (Really???) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5547861 Weird lesson yesterday - if someone else is upset, I want to eat, eat, eat. I wasn't that upset about a work situation (Company announcing stores would open 24-7 from 12/20 through 12/24 6pm), but a bunch of my coworkers sure were. I had my healthy snacks then promptly got junk from the vending machines, which is something rarely do as I was a cheapsakate even before DH's unemployment. Ties in somehow with tuning in to others and taking care of them. I know this wanting to eat when other... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 16:16:16 EST What to Do Now? (A LIttle Icky) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5539562 So tonight I accidentally ate something that I never would have knowingly eaten. Didn't notice it in the dish - until I went to dish up more. I won't/can't make myself throw it up. I am grossed out knowing it is in my body. <BR> <BR> It happened. <BR> <BR> Now what? <BR> <BR> I have this sense that there is some sort of lesson here. Maybe it is that the past can't be undone (or made up for), I need to let go and move on. Tue, 12 Nov 2013 21:16:57 EST I'm Back! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5538100 So why haven't I blogged in the last few days? I wrote the first installment in a series of journal entries on letting go of past hurts and anger. And I promptly got off track due to that and my life in general. I am back. <BR> <BR> I need some quiet time in the house to my self. I love my husband, but his constantly being around since becoming unemployed in July is getting to me. Right now I find it hard to focus on me and this wiritng because I can hear him on the phone about getting ... Mon, 11 Nov 2013 10:00:09 EST There Was a Challenge Today? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5532438 Today's challenge was to try to guess how much food i dished out, then actually measure it. Didn't do that. The accumulation of feeling off from working two overnights has gotten to me. Today I overate because I was tired, bored and didn't want to do anything. Ugh. I'm hoping to feel more like myself tomorrow - after sleeping *at night*! :) <BR> <BR> November Goals: <BR> Journalling/blogging daily - 4 days (12% of month) <BR> Tracking food daily - 3 days (9%) <BR> Exercising daily - 4 ... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 22:37:08 EST Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5531314 Today's challenge is to do 50 lunges. I don't know if I will do this. My schedule is off because I work overnights yesterday and today. And my legs are very tired - possibly from the hill run the other day. And what did I do today - hike about 4 miles on those same hills. Silly me. The sun was wonderful here today. <BR> <BR> My challenge for myself is to get through these days/nights of odd shifts reasonably well. <BR> <BR> I am proud of myself for these accomplishments today: <BR> ... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 20:59:21 EST Challenge, Scmallenge - Can Do! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5530337 Today's challenge was to make one meal meatless - no problem as I've been a vegetarian for over 11 years. :) <BR> <BR> November Goals: <BR> Journalling/blogging daily - 2 days (6% of month) <BR> Tracking food daily - 2 day (6%) <BR> Exercising daily - 2 days (6%) <BR> <BR> <BR> I am proud of myself for these accomplishments today: <BR> <BR> Spoke up to DH about sometimes having to make different choices because I am trying to take care of myself <BR> Stopped eating a sweet that lost it's... Sat, 2 Nov 2013 20:05:57 EST Challenge - List Recent Accomplishments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5529632 Today's challenge was to list recent accomplishments I am proud of: <BR> <BR> Completed a marathon - with a smile on my face <BR> Resumed more complete exercise program, that includes - ST, stretching, other cardio <BR> Chose to respect our financial situation and my anxiety about it by not buying at this time some fun gifts <BR> Did a long run on a hilly course (11/1/2013) <BR> Did a long run on a hilly course - kept running despite the 41* temp with unexpected intermittent rain <BR> Ended ... Fri, 1 Nov 2013 22:17:35 EST