SUNNYSIDEUPMARY's SparkPeople Blog

Not a positive blog. Venting Alert

Sat, 4 May 2013 23:17:10 EST

I am ticked off at my mother, at the situation we are in.

Here's the background: After a busy day at work on a Saturday, Dave (DH) and I are finally on our way to take a short hike in the nearby State Forest. Less than a mile from home we get "desperate" texts from our DD that she left her sandals in the other car that she needs for post-prom. Turn around. Get the sandals go to the HS to try to find DD amidst all the promgoers getting on busses. My mother calls to tell me sh...

Streaks - Day One

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:23:58 EST

I am pairing up the Food Tracking Streak with the Exercise Streak in order to add a little pressure and consistency to my food tracking. I love to exercise! A key to my past and future success is food - awareness and planning and accountability. Putting this visual up in my kitchen means it is "in my face" - and perhaps my family will help hold me accountable or even start streaks of their own. But I am doing ...

Amidst Some Back Steps, More Steps Forward

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:56:49 EST

I've been toying with the idea of more regular blogging. I'd be doing it for me. Then I wondered who would want to read it. I remembered that I have gained from reading about others' journeys, about their successes and challenges. So here goes.

About 10 days ago I hit my lowest weight in many years - 169.8. It was a huge victory to finally get below 170. I now really know it is doable - yeah!!!

Then I went for a four-day scrapbook weekend at a hotel where I did ver...

One Step Back? Two Steps Forward!

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:25:55 EST

Ideas for taking forward steps:

Look up nutrition info on restaurant meals - DONE

Recognize the good choices I did make - DONE

Read my affirmations in my journal - my daily list of good choices I HAVE made

Tell myself that *now* is a new moment in which I *can* make good choices - DONE

Track my food - good or less-than-ideal

Go for a walk or workout

Read an inspirational book/book/blog/article - DONE

Resources to Help Child with ADHD Do His Homework?

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 19:56:28 EST

Yes, this request applies directly to my healthy living journey - I caught myself wanting to eat due to the frustration of dealing with my 12 YO son and his homework.

Please let me know if you all know of any resources to help me help him get him to do his homework. We have four problems areas:

1. Writing his homework in his assignment notebook. We can access much of this info OL, but not doing #1 at school causes problems with #2.

2. Bringing home the m...

Today I Ran

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 12:43:02 EST

Today I ran because I can.

I ran for the spectators.

I ran for the race director, staff and volunteers.

I ran for the helpers and the good people of Boston.

I ran for my fellow runners stopped at mile 23.

Today I ran because I can.

2 Pi Mile Run = No Pie???

Sun, 7 Apr 2013 09:21:08 EST

Lesson learned - when running a little race (maybe 300 total between 5K and 10K) at the state's largest university, just maybe 99.5% of the runners will be college students. Did y'all know I am 48? I can see you are doing the math in your head - yes, I am more 25 years older than the other runners. My head must be in a much better place than it was even a few months back - and the stories and encouragement of my fellow Sparkers is key to this - because I decided to see what happens, to r...

Caffeine Withdrawal

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 09:12:59 EST

Hello, my name is Mary, and I drink way too coffee. Sometimes as much as a pot a day.

I've known for awhile that this is a problem. For some reason I decided recently to do something about it. I was initially concerned about preventing the abominable withdrawal headache. That has not been a problem so far. But my anxiety has really ratcheted up.

I am down to about 4-5 cups, home brewed. If I have a double cup first thing in the morning, I noticed that I really get...

Looking for Advice for My HS Track/CC Athlete Daughter

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 15:41:32 EST

I'm hoping some of y'all might have some advice for my daughter J who is a HS senior and is very frustrated with her performance in comparison to her CC/track teammates. Here is what she wrote for y'all:

I'm frustrated because even though I've got bigger muscles, I can lift more, and I try harder, I am slower at both sprints and at distance events. I do cross country (PR 4K 20:19, 5K 29:34, 10K 68:46) and track, but in track I do short sprints (200, p.r. 31.5s) and triple jump (2...

I Finished the Winter Run Series!

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 14:55:38 EST

Today I ran the Luck of the Irish 10K - and finished all six of the Winter Run Series 10Ks! In the photo I am wearing the "I Raced Them All!" hoodie (over all my other layers). I am proud of myself!

The weather was a big part of this race - cold (28), damp and windy. The weather, the hills and repetitive nature of the course made this a challenging race. We skipped some walk intervals in order to stay wa...

Do You Know of Any "Hunger" Journal Tools?

Wed, 6 Mar 2013 19:30:59 EST

I am looking for an Android app or other tool to use assist me in figuring out my emotional eating issues. I'm envisioning something in which I can record when I want to eat, what I am feeling, if I ate or did something else. Since I have my phone with me anyway, I was hoping there might be "an app for that".

I may just use a mini-memo book for a limited time - my engineer husband might even want do some analysis, 'cause he's a "math is fun" kind of guy. :)

I came a...

BLC21 Question - How Will My Life Change When I Reach My Fitness/Weight Loss Goal?

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 11:27:38 EST

Well, that really is two questions.

When I reach my fitness goal, I imagine that I will reach for another one, or multiple ones. After completing the half-marathon last November, I focused on reaching my goal of 2012 exercise miles in 2012. After that goal, my focus is on completing a 10K in under an hour by the end of the Winter Run Series in March. Assuming clearance from my doc later today, my goal after that is to complete a marathon this year. And rack up miles hiked on ...

The Athlete in Me Is Ready to Blast Through the Starting Gate!

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:41:29 EST

The athlete is me is ready to blast through the starting gate!

After a heck of a week (with two deaths in the family) at the end of a heck of a month (that started with the violent death of one of DD's mentors) at the end of the crazy season (four month long retail season), I am ready to move on. I finally made an appointment with my doc to find out what's going on with my stiff knee and what needs to happen to make it strong - this has been on my mind for a while as the next st...

My Goals for 2013

Tue, 8 Jan 2013 14:35:06 EST

I had considerable success with my 2012 goals of exercising for 2012+ miles in 2012 and completing my first half marathon. And I relearned that I am goal driven - I like to check things off my lists. I've always been this way. Now I'm going to use it for my advantage.

Some of my biggest struggles are with food and arm & ab strength. I couldn't figure out how to be very specific about the strength goals until I found and completed SparkPeople's fitness tests for crunches and p...

Run Into the New Year 10K

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 21:51:29 EST

Short version of race report: It was COLD! And I finished!

This race was the third in the six-part Winter Run Series in metro Milwaukee. The RINY was held at Wisconsin State Fair Park. Whew, it was cold and windy: 25 degrees with winds up to 15 mph. Not sure if I'd run it again just because of the windy cold.

I finished fine - not as fast as I could've done. DH - my main running partner - was home sick. DD was with me - she hasn't been training consistently. Whi...

Musings on Satisfaction and Accomplishment

Fri, 7 Dec 2012 19:07:28 EST

I am looking for a sense of satisfaction, of accomplishment.

Eating won’t do it.

Shopping won’t do it.

Sometimes exercise – especially cardio does it. Today is an “off” day in my training to run a 10K in under an hour. Been feeling anxious, I think – had been looking forward to ‘treating’ it with exercise – until I realized I’m supposed to take the day off before a long run day.

The BLC is over for now – no challenges there to go for. Can’t wo...

Elf Run 10K

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 14:24:03 EST

Today I ran the Elf Run 10K with my DH Dave and DD Jillian in Waukesha, Wisconsin. It was a 'balmy' morning in the low 30's with an 'invigorating' wind. We shaved 6:51 off our previous 10K. That was 2 weeks ago, only 1 week after Dave and I ran the half-marathon.

Our pace was 11 min/mile, right on track with our past 5K pace. We finished in 68:45 today. We've been training using our own interpretation of the Galloway run-walk method - I recently have come to suspect our int...

I COMPLETED MY FIRST OFFICIAL HALF MARATHON!

Tue, 6 Nov 2012 16:48:28 EST

I COMPLETED MY FIRST OFFICIAL HALF MARATHON!

I am wearing one of my Rosie the Riveter 'We Can Do It!' t-shirts ï¿½ I was so encouraged when the spectators called out support based on it. Iï¿½m trying to come up with what I think of as a race identity. Iï¿½m going with my screen name (AKA trailname ) ï¿½ so I made a ï¿½sunnyï¿½ fl...

To Marathon Or Not

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 09:10:56 EST

YES

***To do something just for myself.

*To accomplish something big

*To test myself

*To be an example of going for something big

*To be a dramatic example of physical activity - and the joy and sense of accomplishment from it. DS (age almost 12) is not at all interested in sports and activity anymore. DD (age almost 18) waxes and wanes on the issue - she is signed up to do the Winter Run Series with DH and I. She hasn't yet decided about...

Health Scare

Sun, 14 Oct 2012 18:21:40 EST

Well, I had what I thought was a health scare yesterday. Well, it was scary, we don't have a definitive explanation, but things seem to be better. While at work, I started getting a funny feeling my chest, along with feeling a little shaky and faint. When it didn't go away, I told my manager I needed to leave, arranged for Dave to take me to urgent care (after talking with doc's office). After an EKG and exam, we determined I did not have a heart attack or the something acutely serious li...

This Loosey Goosey Lifestyle is Not Working for Me

Tue, 9 Oct 2012 13:50:11 EST

So, I'm sitting here feeling anxious when into my head pops the idea that just maybe I need more structure outside of my work and workout life. I'm feeling anxious because I'm not sure what to do next.

My job in retail is not a 9-5 Monday-Friday type job. My work hours can be anywhere between 5am-12midnight, Tuesday though Sunday. Today is a WHOLE day off - no paid work or appointments.

Yesterday, my counselor and I talked about how my mood is so much better with exe...

Standing Up to Family Bullies

Thu, 4 Oct 2012 21:05:54 EST

So blasted nervous right now.

A very brief synopsis, about a year ago, my brother's wife publicly criticized me on FB about my involvement in my mother's care while my mother still lived in her apartment and my bro lived about a half hour away. The attacks became "private" after that, including much nastiness and profanity from SIL and bro. In the past I would've rolled over. I am proud that I have stood up for myself and not stooped to their level. I have been consistent, po...

I Think I Really Am a Runner Now!

Sun, 30 Sep 2012 19:34:47 EST

Today's 4 mi training run/walk didn't feel so easy. Might have missed a training run/walk this week due to the hiking. Caught myself doubting for a moment trying to do the half, but we still have five weeks before that, including two long run/walks. And I caught myself questioning whether I could do a full marathon next year - but almost instantly I realized this internal dialog had a ring of familiarity to it - it's what I used to say about attempting a half!

So is this a ma...

Importance of Food Journalling

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:23:33 EST

My biggest nutritional issues are intertwined - emotional eating and food journalling.

Here are two articles on the importance of food journalling, one from SP and one from WebMD:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/arti
cles_print.asp?id=394

http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/can-f
ood-diary-help-you-lose-weight

I believe that maintaining a commitment to food journalling will be key in making me aware of what I eat and why. I can do exercis...

The Plan

Sat, 15 Sep 2012 20:01:45 EST

Here are a few notes before I present The Plan for the 12 weeks of the Biggest Loser Challenge(BLC):

My cardio program is focused on training to run/walk a half-marathon on November 5th. I am following the Jeff Galloway method of training. I have actually registered for the race, booked the hotel and asked off from work.

My strength training program is two-pronged – 1)Use SP’s ST program for runners, and 2) Use SP’s program to strengthen shoulders. I want to preve...

Will You Join Me?

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:18:43 EST

Will you join me in drinking from this cup?

I collect mugs, and have had this one for years but have never drunk from it - I never felt ready. I am not waiting for tomorrow - whether it is the start of an SP challenge or any tomorrow. Today I will drink from this cup of courage.

BLC 20 Expectations

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 15:58:29 EST

This blog relates to a challenge for a team I'm on called the Biggest Loser Challenge.

My expectations of the BLC challenge are that it will be a framework to allow me to focus on taking care of myself, with special emphasis for me on my nutrition. The secondary emphasis will be on strengthening my shoulders so I can do pushups. When I am accountable to others – or want to look good in front of others - I am more likely to push myself. I know that I should be doing all this for ...

Ingrained, Warped Thinking

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:56:46 EST

The bulk 0f this entry is copied from my entry on a message board. I went to another board to post it - see the end of the entry to see how really ingrained my warped thinking is.

*******************
Hi, my name is Mary, and my thinking is twisted the wrong way.

I was eating raisin bran cereal last night in part to use it up so my kids could have the cereal they prefer.

The backstory is I bought a case at Aldi when my son was into that cereal. Then he de...

How Do You Show Yourself That You Matter to You?*

Fri, 1 Jun 2012 13:11:10 EST

*Alternate title: "According to Jim" Made Me Cry.

I'd already had a meltdown earlier this morning, then while at the gym, Jim Belushi's character was talking about what it means to be a good dad. I did not have that good dad - or good mom - or emotionally nurturing person in my life. And the tears welled up.

I've been struggling a lot lately with the issue of feeling like I don't matter. That actually is my big, my lifelong issue. And it seems I am frequently of lat...

The BeeGees Made Me Cry

Tue, 22 May 2012 13:07:55 EST

I've read in SP blogs that the feelings buried inside may come out at the seemingly oddest of times.

Mine today came out while watching a special on the BeeGees on the Biography channel while racking up miles on the recumbent at the gym. I can be a very empathetic person, so initially I was picking up on the personal and professional closeness of the three brothers, then on the impact of the death of Maurice, then thinking about the impact on Barry of the recent death of Robin. ...

The Ice Age Trail 1200

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 15:18:12 EST

"More than 12,000 years ago, an immense flow of glacial ice sculpted a landscape of remarkable beauty across Wisconsin. As the colossal glacier retreated, it left behind a variety of unique landscape features...The Ice Age National Scenic Trail is a thousand-mile footpath — entirely within Wisconsin — that highlights these Ice Age landscape features." *

Though not entirely sure why, I do know I feel driven to hike the IAT, segment by segment, county by county.

Here are...

Turning My Focus to Myself

Thu, 2 Feb 2012 15:58:00 EST

This morning I had a rather unpleasant "fight" with DH. Though I don't really want to admit it, even to myself, I wanted him to make me feel better, to feel loved. I'd still like that. BUT I keep coming backing over the last few months to the idea that I have to treat myself like I matter - because I do! Hopefully then I'll be able to feel it when someone else shows that they care. But first, *I* have to actively care for myself!

Start with Mind Over Body Plan or basic SP plan?

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 13:09:07 EST

True confession time - I never did the basic SP plan. One thing I have learned during my time on SP is that my main issue is medicating with food. I can do - and usually like - cardio exercise. I like to move, hike, run and be active.

Soooo. I am intrigued by and feel like the Mind Over Body plan* here on SP will be very helpful to me.

But, should I start with the basic SP plan? I have The Spark book - haven't read it. Can the two plans work together - or are bette...

Positive Affirmations

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:28:44 EST

I've been assigned to come up with positive affirmations about myself. I expect I'll be adding to the list as I learn to refocus myself.
*******************************

I am good at organizing things.

I work hard at work.

I try to play positive words in Scrabble/Words with Friends.

I am kind.

I am good with puzzles, especially word-based ones.

I am willing to try new recipes.

I am helpful.

I am a per...

My Healthy Cooking Challenge Goals

Fri, 2 Dec 2011 12:30:05 EST

My goals for the healthy cooking challenge:

- Plan a dinner menu weekly

- Cook a main dish at least 2x/week

- Preportion daily vege and fruit servings

************

Food is my biggest issue in adopting a healthier lifestyle. I know that I need to focus on food. I am helped by doing a personalized food (and healthy living) journal on paper. The HCC I expect will help me focus on having around good foods that are ready to eat.

...

From My Journal 10/18/11

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:42:36 EST

Anxiety. Cried at a country song on the radio. Might be due to decline of Mother, symbolized by impending move to an assisted living place. Might be helped along by my med reduction. And feeling lonely, unconnected. And by my improving mental health. And I do feel its improving, though I can't quite pinpoint it and say "See this here, this means my mental health is getting better". Shopped today - didn't buy crap food, like sweets. Did buy whole wheat pasta - thought it'd be okay to have som...

A Heavy Heart x 2

Mon, 5 Sep 2011 10:37:14 EST

In an effort to protect myself, my tender heart, I've been avoiding the 9/11 anniversary news/stories/programs. Until yesterday. My eye and heart were caught by the OL front page of the newspaper mention of the name of a local young woman who died that day - I remembered her name from the events of 10 years ago. She was newly engaged, on her first business trip, had misgivings about going to the World Trade Center, and had so many almost-misses to being at the "wrong place at the wrong tim...

The Doors We Open and Close Each Day

Fri, 5 Aug 2011 11:32:13 EST

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

- Flora Whittemore, author

WOW.

This quote was in a recent Spark Healthy Reflections email. I haven't read the rest of the email yet, as this quote really "sparked" me, got me thinking!

WOW.

Think about it, Mary. You were thinking about going to the gym. And about getting into the family's ice cream while the family is away.

What doors do I, can I ope...

Joys and Blessings of My Life (In No Particular Order)

Mon, 1 Aug 2011 16:17:05 EST

Hiking through the woods
Mobility - ability to move unassisted
My husband
My DD - 16 - a good kid! :)
My DS - 10 - someone recently told us he "has a good heart" :)
Access to a car
Air conditioning
My pillow and my bed
Our pets - cats: Rose,18; Theodore, 1; and Fireheart, 1.
Butterflies
More than adiquate basic necessities - food, clothing, shelter
Letterboxing
Best Friend, Maria
Spring/Summer/Fall
A job I like - and it...

New Day

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 09:01:18 EST

Today is a new day.

What I've done in the past has already be done. I carry the resulting increased weight with me. I need to turn my focus to healthy living - food prep, exercise. Am considering signing up for walks/races to give me something to focus on.

Struggling With My Big Issues

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 23:36:39 EST

I am struggling big time here with emotions.

How's that for such a simple and loaded statement? I feel like my issues are right at the surface - and when I'm upset/mad/hurt by stuff outside of me, I need to look inward. Such as being upset with "D"H when I don't feel I am cared about - hmm, what have I done/not done today that wasn't caring for myself. Beaucoup. Lots. And my counselor says I'm supposed to look at my feelings around control - needing to be in control, fearin...

How Was My Weekend?

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 10:18:33 EST

The following is the unedited initial response to this question I was asked on a board - I may add more later.

Thanks for asking how my weekend was. I am trying to get back into availing myself of what SP has to offer - I've started with using the menus to nudge mein the right direction, and with checking in here. I haven't been reading this board, but intend to start. As for my weekend, it was okay, I guess. My mother took us out for my birthday, for Thai food. I stayed up t...

Why Did I Drop Off SP For Awhile?

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 13:20:40 EST

Short answer – I felt ignored, like I didn’t matter.

Longer answer – I felt/feel that way in a lot of different areas of my life, including to myself.

I had made some posts in a group chat thread that seemed to get lost in the shuffle of other people’s goings on. One post wasn’t really that important – I confessed that I don’t follow sports – gasp! The other one I felt more vulnerable about – finding out my sister has MS, my feelings about that and grieving for the...

A Bit of A Shock

Wed, 8 Sep 2010 18:22:02 EST

Just got news that my sister likely has MS. We are not close. She's going to have a spinal tap done on 9/27. This diagnosis (DX) is completely out of left field for me. She's been an odd duck for years, we've not been close, and I haven't been privy to the process of diagnosis. Her husband seems to l think that the DX explains alot - some balance problems, but mostly memory problems. I feel sorry for her, her husband and son - and our mother, who doesn't know yet. And I'm scared for ...

Boredom - A Learning Opportunity?

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 00:06:43 EST

I am bored. I'm home alone in the evening - DH and DS are at the guys' game night, DD is staying at a friends. And I don't know what to do. Besides "get a life". arggh. I don't feel like doing anything except watching TV (broadcast) - but there's nothing on that I like. And I'm bored with the internet. So I'm going through the desk's inbox of stuff I never look at - I'm throwing away 99% of it. There's probably a learning opportunity in this boredom, but I have no idea what it is... ...

I Am Proud of My Complaint Letter

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:14:43 EST

Below is an edited copy of a complaint letter I'm sending out. I am proud of my work. I know it may not result in things going my way, but I feel good having written it. I accept that I could have acted on this sooner, and I expect that will probably end up paying the full amount. But it really feels good to have written this. FYI - the visits are for counseling and med checks regarding my depression.

******************************
Bureau of Quality Assurance
AHS (...

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO DAY CAMP FOR A WEEK!!!!!

Sun, 1 Aug 2010 16:27:32 EST

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO DAY CAMP FOR A WEEK!!!!!

I could give you lots of details, but the sentence above says it all. I said I’d go again, really really wish I hadn’t, and now I have the extreme frustration of being trapped for a week. I feel like I won’t have any control over my days – what I do, where I am, access to computer/microwave/fridge/air conditioning. I usually feel like I’m on the outside looking in – somehow the camaraderie and fun of camp doesn’t happen for me. Ins...

Where I Have Been

Sun, 25 Jul 2010 09:31:54 EST

I had a FANTASTIC escape from everyday life with my four day trip to the Upper Peninsula!!!! I enjoyed my days hiking, doing what I wanted when I wanted without others’ interruptions and demands. It was wonderful!

The family really liked the smiling, relaxed Mary who came back.

Mini vent about one lasting thing that bugs me: One little thing I don’t get is how they can overlook food in the fridge – like the honeydew I bought before I left. They’ll eat stuff if I...

"The Girls" and Weight Loss - Or, Why I Hate Bra Shopping

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:25:01 EST

I HATE BRA SHOPPING! Weight loss is a good thing. Except that it means I have to buy new bras. I have never been very "perky" , shall we say. So I need lots of support and prefer bras that hold me up and close, preventing back aches. Being a casual clothes kind of gal, I could use skinny strap bras that look okay showing. But skinny straps and need for support don't work well together. Seriously, I've been wearing a certain sports bra everyday - but the back aches have started. The b...

Hurting, Feeling Invisible

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 07:57:23 EST

I am hurting. I feel invisible in real life, including to DH. It's common courtesy when someone says something to you to let them know you heard them, right? It should be that simple. But with 25 years together, his and hers issues, other stressors, etc., the sitch is more complicated than that. I just want to be heard. And yes, sometimes, I really really want to be taken care of. I don't want to have to be understanding, make allowances for him being a guy or having ADD or having to g...