STOPTHECRAVING's SparkPeople Blog STOPTHECRAVING's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Honestly... Honestly, <BR> I want magic to be real. I want a wand that I wave around and change my reality with. I want to use it to fight demons. I want to use it to grant wishes. <BR> <BR> The only magic we have in life is the magic we make happen. Where we put in the work to make a different reality. <BR> <BR> Work is hard. It seems to be never-ending. But if I keep working, there will be a magical ending. I will appear different. I will feel different. Lives will change. <BR> <BR> And ho... Tue, 12 May 2015 16:02:33 EST I wish I had more desire I know the drill. <BR> <BR> Why do I want to lose weight? Look better. Feel better. Be healthier. Live longer and in good health while I'm living. <BR> <BR> Then there are the personal reasons. Wear an old sexy dress again. Be noticed for being thin, not fat. NOT be diagnosed with diabetes (my biggest fear). <BR> <BR> Yet these still haven't motivated me. Given me any desire to keep up healthy habits. <BR> <BR> I hate the tediousness of weight loss. Logging everything I eat. ... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:47:31 EST It's called a broken record Not the kind of record you want broken. <BR> <BR> I am back to the beginning. Starting over. Blah blah blah <BR> <BR> I need a complete turn around. Move more. Eat less. Blah blah blah <BR> <BR> I need to wash my mind anew. <BR> <BR> Change things up. <BR> <BR> Try to do this in a less repetitive, broken record way. <BR> <BR> I need a secret. A real key to my success. <BR> <BR> I need consistency. <BR> <BR> I need ??? <BR> <BR> I want: less fat on my body, more flexibility... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 22:42:36 EST Personal Training, not what I thought I work at the Y. They hired a new person in fitness. She passed her certification for personal training. And, because I have been such an avid fitness freak, the director of fitness asked me to allow her to train me for 3 half hour sessions, for practice. <BR> <BR> I was excited. I was nervous. I had a routine going and wasn't sure how personal training would fit in, nor how to track it on Spark. <BR> <BR> I viewed the people who hired personal trainers as "hard core" fitness freaks! ... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 11:33:29 EST I was shocked I tell ya. Shocked. I got up early on a Saturday after 3 months of being accountable. <BR> <BR> After 3 months of trying to eat better, drink tons of water, and workout nearly every day of the week. <BR> <BR> I was prepared to hear the results, I felt they would not be good enough to win. <BR> <BR> I had resolved myself to be content with the knowledge that I had lost some weight, some inches, and had improved my BMI a little. <BR> <BR> I knew I felt stronger and had more energy. And that was good enough ... Sun, 30 Mar 2014 09:22:20 EST How do you keep from over-eating? I do not want to beat myself up. But I do want to have a stern talk with myself. <BR> <BR> I'm moving my body more. I am challenging myself with every workout. I am sweating! <BR> <BR> The exercise component is coming along quite well. I even , dare I admit, look forward to working out. <BR> <BR> Food. <BR> <BR> Now that is a different story. <BR> <BR> I'm beginning to think that I am one of those people who need to have every little morsel portioned out for them every single day. <B... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 07:05:12 EST shin splints and complaining I have shin splints. <BR> <BR> I am NOT complaining. <BR> <BR> I got advice and I am walking this week instead of running. <BR> <BR> I will get back to running. <BR> <BR> I'm a huge complainer! I got into this very bad habit at work. everyone complains at my work... <BR> <BR> But I decided to give it up for lent. <BR> <BR> But the devil is strong and all I found myself doing more was complaining. <BR> <BR> I sent out a prayer request to my most spectacular praying friends. <BR> <B... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 20:29:46 EST Overkill, what is the right balance I am that "all or nothing" personality. <BR> <BR> I know it. I acknowledge it. I try to fight it. <BR> <BR> But it is hard to find the right balance between doing nothing or doing everything. <BR> <BR> Nothing ever feels like it is enough. <BR> <BR> I am sore today. I did my forth run/walk interval yesterday. (and my strength training) Today needs to be a cross train day. But I am unsure what to do. I do not want to overkill my workouts. But I don't want to under kill either. <BR>... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 08:23:16 EST Favorite mug Sunday I have a favorite coffee mug. I purchased it while on vacation in Ontario, Canada. It is hand-made, and perfect for my hand. I love it! <BR> <BR> I use it on my most slow mornings. I savor the flavor of my coffee. I do not rush. It makes me smile. <BR> <BR> There is a loveliness to routine. To familiarity. And to favorites. <BR> <BR> This is my day of rest. Yet, with all the exercising I've been doing, I find myself slightly restless. I want to get up and do stuff! <BR> <BR> B... Sun, 23 Feb 2014 09:37:19 EST Oh No Missy! You're not going there. Yesterday was HARD! <BR> <BR> I did not get enough sleep (weird job schedule). <BR> <BR> I went to the gym after my whopping 2 hours of early morning work (told you, weird work schedule, plus I closed the night before). <BR> <BR> At the gym, I was to "crosstrain" from my run/walk on Sunday, and do strength. <BR> <BR> In other words, my normal, usually energize me, awesome workout. <BR> <BR> But nooooooo. Not true this time. <BR> <BR> Oh! I did the workout. <BR> <BR> I just felt lik... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 08:53:50 EST OMG! OMG! OMG! I did it! I did it! I did it! And guess what? <BR> <BR> I think I'm gonna do it again! <BR> <BR> Be excited for me. I completed my first ever interval walk/jog training this morning! <BR> <BR> I was scared. (of shin splints) <BR> <BR> I was feeling uncoordinated and intimidated by the treadmill. (I've only ever used it to WALK) <BR> <BR> But gosh darnitt! I faced my fears. I changed the speed on that treadmill. I finished my 30 minutes! <BR> <BR> (4 min. walk, 1 min. run) <BR> <BR> I stretched before and afte... Mon, 17 Feb 2014 13:08:14 EST I'm cold! Why that's a good thing... I am chronically HOT! All the time. Or, so it seems. <BR> <BR> I've dropped 10 pounds and suddenly, I'm cold. Like, all the time. <BR> <BR> I believe it means my body is changing. Adjusting. ANd pushing me to move even more! <BR> <BR> Moving more would make me warm. <BR> <BR> Moving more would also help me burn more calories. <BR> <BR> I would get more done! <BR> <BR> Then I can eat more. <BR> <BR> So, being cold is a good thing. Sun, 16 Feb 2014 17:45:51 EST When was the last time you... experienced serendipity? <BR> <BR> You know, finding something you didn't even know you were looking for... <BR> <BR> I found something today. <BR> <BR> I told myself I had to switch up my cardio routine. Try something different. So I decided that instead of the elliptical, I would do the bike. <BR> <BR> I hate the bike. <BR> <BR> I mean, I enjoy a real bike ride, outside, for a short while. <BR> <BR> But, a stationary bike? Loath it! My hiney gets sore/numb. I hate not having so... Fri, 14 Feb 2014 13:44:52 EST How have you gotten over a broken heart? I made the choice to end the realtionship. <BR> <BR> It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. <BR> <BR> I sobbed when I told him I just couldn't do it anymore. <BR> <BR> I have sobbed since for the loss of "what could have/should have been." <BR> <BR> I'm tired of feeling sad. I'm tired of feeling loss. I'm tired of feeling empty. <BR> <BR> And just when I think I am ready to move on, he calls. <BR> <BR> He left me a message I never thought he would. I thought I had br... Mon, 3 Feb 2014 23:29:21 EST Chocolate, beer and love I registered for my first competition. It is a 2.5 mile Beer Run for charity. <BR> <BR> My second registration is coming up. It is for the Chocolate Run. It is a 5K. <BR> <BR> The chocolate run is actually the first one I will execute. It is in March. The beer run is in May. <BR> <BR> I'm excited! <BR> <BR> I can't believe it. I am actually excited about attempting to run! (I have to admit, I wimped out when I registered for the beer run. I put us in the walker category. But I'... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 16:20:44 EST Take this! "I don't wannas." I don't wanna: <BR> <BR> get up, make coffee, drive the kid to school, workout. <BR> <BR> I don't wanna: <BR> <BR> Be fat, be lumpy, have no energy, feel sorry for myself, feel stuffed, whine. <BR> <BR> So I got up. I made coffee and breakfast. I drove the kid to school. I drove myself to the gym. I worked out. I motivated some others. I found out that I am gonna be a "work aunt". (one of my co-workers is having a baby!!! So excited! <BR> <BR> I WANNA KEEP GOING! BE HEALTHY! BE... Fri, 31 Jan 2014 11:06:46 EST Explorations of Opportunity I came home from work tonight to a very distraught daughter. She stood up for something she believed in and got banned from a web site she very much enjoys. <BR> <BR> She and I had a good talk. And she feels bad that she got banned. And she was feeling a great sense of loss. She didn't realize that sticking up for her beliefs was going to spiral into her losing so much. <BR> <BR> I wanted to make it all better. I wanted to crawl into cyberspace and rip someone a new one. <BR> <BR> I... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 19:33:05 EST Is is best to be Right all the time? Why do I have a need to be RIGHT? <BR> <BR> All. The. Time. <BR> <BR> I mean, is it really important that I take it upon myself to teach someone else proper English? Or, explain how telling me when you are NOT available is NOT exactly the same as indicating when you ARE available? Or, Knowing the the stubbornness of my teenage daughter is her downfall and is it really my job to continuously point this out to her? Oh, Oh Oh. My latest rant is about the woman who is my boss (who I do no... Tue, 28 Jan 2014 09:19:34 EST I found them! I started out my day grumpy, lumpy, dumpy. <BR> <BR> I posted as my status: Needing to find positives. <BR> <BR> I checked my previous blog. <BR> <BR> I found the positives. <BR> <BR> Support. Encouragement. Determination. Inspiration. Friendship. <BR> <BR> It's all here. It's always here. <BR> <BR> I win today! Sun, 26 Jan 2014 12:47:40 EST Celebration time! I did it! <em>248</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> I worked my brains off for two and half years. <em>149</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> I graduated. <em>58</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> Then I faced the BIGGEST challenge of all: The NCLEX <em>530</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> And you know, I ROCKED THAT TEST! <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> And the State of Ohio has declared me officially competent as a Registered Nurse! <em>282</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> I am so happy, proud, and relieved. <em>224</em> <BR> ... Sun, 19 Jan 2014 08:25:55 EST What I lost in a week I lost 4 pounds! <BR> <BR> I lost grumpiness. <BR> <BR> I lost my "can't do" attitude. <BR> <BR> I lost laziness. <BR> <BR> I'm feeling pretty good about the gains and losses this week. Mon, 13 Jan 2014 11:22:07 EST What I gained this week! I've logged in for one week straight. Woo Hoo! <BR> <BR> So, what happened in one week? <BR> <BR> I gained energy! (proof: I closed the Y on Friday-10pm. Opened the Y on Sat-5:30am. And I stayed after my shift was over, worked out, went to church, ate dinner and cheered on a friends soccer team who's game did not start until 9:30 pm--all without taking a nap!) <BR> <BR> I gained some quads! (proof: I can actually see the definition of them now. Wish I had though to take a picture..... Sun, 12 Jan 2014 11:16:37 EST Observations of skinny people Have you ever just wished your body metabolized food so quickly that you could eat whatever you wanted and never become fat? <BR> <BR> Of course you have! <BR> <BR> I've watched these so called skinny people. And they really do not have any magic. (some may have more efficient metabolisms, but they really do not get that way from luck) I swear! <BR> <BR> What I have learned from watching skinny people is this: <BR> <BR> 1) Skinny people do not eat cardboard! And by that I mean, if ... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 13:12:37 EST ROAR! (interview/resume advice welcome) Last semester of nursing school (2013, Aug-Dec) I heard Katy Perry's song Roar on the radio almost every morning. It motivated me to keep going through the tears and stress of everything going on in my life. (School was rough, my teenage daughter was diagnosed with depression, and I ended a 7 year relationship with a man who was wonderful, but we could never seem to see eye-to-eye). <BR> <BR> I graduated Dec 12th with feelings of joy and pride. Now that school is over, I feel a little dep... Tue, 7 Jan 2014 11:28:57 EST Toothache I had my very first cavities this past June. I was 42 years old. I had never had sensitive teeth before the fillings. I have been struggling with this issue ever since. But now, it is a full blown toothache! <BR> <BR> I was on a mini-vacation last week (and was not sure if I was getting a sinus infection or worsening teeth issues). I'm back now. Schools are closed due to the cold. I need to get to a dentist, but I dread going back the the one who filled my cavities. I really didn't... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 09:59:38 EST who knows, maybe this year is THE one! I just can't write another "I'm starting over" again, blog. But I am starting over again. Sigh. And I am writing about it. Sigh again. <BR> <BR> I have a plan. I'm gonna drive the teen to school and hit the gym. Every day. <BR> <BR> I'm gonna plan meals ahead of time and have lots of quick meals available. <BR> <BR> I'm gonna log, track, and join a weight loss biggest losers contest. (I love a good completion). <BR> <BR> And, I'm gonna find ways to remind myself why I am doing th... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 20:51:34 EST Anxiety, Procratination, Stress! Oh My! Anxiety got the best of me yesterday. I had orientation for Nursing IV (my LAST semester). We got our syllabus, schedules, and time-lines for clinicals and homework. It's a ton of work! <BR> <BR> I ate waaaaay too much. <BR> <BR> But I also did some exercise. Once I calmed down and realized what I was doing. Maybe next time I'll exercise first. Then over-eat. (Just kidding!) <BR> <BR> Today I have found myself back into the swing of procrastinating my homework. Two hours went by ... Fri, 23 Aug 2013 14:50:57 EST Just breathe When life is stressful, Breathe. <BR> <BR> When exercise is kicking your hiney, Breathe. <BR> <BR> When your high schooler is giving you lip, Breathe. <BR> <BR> When your cat pukes while you are sleeping and you step in it the next morning, Breathe. <BR> <BR> When your car won't start and you're running late, Breathe. <BR> <BR> When your friend tells you she is finally pregnant, Breathe. <BR> <BR> When you get a bonus at work, Breathe. <BR> <BR> Breathe through all of life's ups and do... Wed, 21 Aug 2013 21:16:23 EST One meal does not a healthy person make. Or does it??? At some point in time I wind up convincing myself that I spend more time logging food, fitness, and blog posts into my computer than the time I spend doing the stuff I'm logging. So what do I do? I stop logging. I expect to keep up the weight loss. And what happens? I gain. I stop being accountable. I lose motivation. <BR> <BR> Good lesson to learn. But, when will I learn it??? I have started and stopped on here so many times since 2008 and I am still sitting at the same weight. I ... Sun, 18 Aug 2013 11:08:08 EST Weight Lifting: new opportunity Remember how I said I would open myself to trying new things as the opportunities arise?... <BR> <BR> Weights. Yup. Weights. <BR> <BR> I love a method that gets me strong, lean, curvy, toned, all in a short amount of time. <BR> <BR> By that, I do not mean lose weight fast. I mean an efficient workout. You know, one that lasts maybe 30 min-in and out. Yet, produces amazing results. <BR> <BR> I hear weight lifting, done right, can be that workout. <BR> <BR> I am aligning some amazing ... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:53:19 EST I may think I don't have time, but I'm doing it! I worked out Monday, Thursday and Friday (so far). Planning to go to a yoga class tomorrow. So that will make 4 workouts this week. But I only have two calories to burn according to the fitness tracker. Hmmm. I seem to be able to get it all in. Well, don't look at my food tracker... <BR> <BR> But even though I have not been tracking everything I put in my mouth, I have been incredibly careful about what's going in it, every bite! I have been doing this "weight loss journey" for long e... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 14:20:18 EST I'm not perfect and I don't have a smartphone This week I started my third semester in a four semester nursing program. I am overwhelmed. There is so much to know! <BR> <BR> My teenage daughter is on the bowling team for her high school. They practice or have matches Monday through Thursday. They do not offer busing, so parents/students are responsible for getting to and from the various lanes. I do employ the aid of others as much as possible, but sometimes it all falls upon my shoulders to make it all happen. (most of the the ... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 06:28:26 EST Just throwin' it out there This is HARD! <BR> <BR> It's hard to not reach for food every time the urge strikes. <BR> <BR> It's hard to find time to work out and to make myself do it. <BR> <BR> It's hard to remember why I am doing this. <BR> <BR> It's hard to tell myself repeatedly that I deserve to be healthy. <BR> <BR> Sometimes I do not want to cook, move, plan, or count, measure, weigh. <BR> <BR> But I do. <BR> <BR> I'm not perfect. <BR> <BR> My journey is messy. <BR> <BR> My efforts are great some days ... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 15:03:24 EST How to succeed at being healthy I've been on this site since 2009, off and on. My weight has gone up and down. <BR> <BR> What I have learned so far: <BR> <BR> One, small, good, healthy choice can lead to another and another and another. <BR> <BR> One step repeated by another step can lead to miles walked. <BR> <BR> One positive thought can lead to a smile. <BR> <BR> One affirmation repeated can lead to better choices. <BR> <BR> Cheering one other person on makes me think less about myself and makes doing the right hi... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 10:01:29 EST Divorce vent (not mine) A young couple I know is struggling and the man has decided to go through with a divorce. This decision was not easy. It was not quick. They tried to work it out. <BR> <BR> They are/were each others only boyfriend/girlfriend. Only partner. They dated in high school and college. And took the natural step. <BR> <BR> She is a neat, organized, nosey, stay-at-home kinda gal. <BR> <BR> He is a laid back, helpful, quiet-yet social, kinda guy. <BR> <BR> All relationships take work. All... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 08:55:43 EST Time to Spark Finding time to Spark... <BR> <BR> I am nervous that next week I will fall apart. I will be back at school full-time. Working part-time. Continue to be a single parent to my awesome teenage daughter. <BR> <BR> I love mornings where I can sit, plan, blog, workout. <BR> <BR> A lot of this will change next week. <BR> <BR> I think I will start bringing my computer everyday and using time before class to do my morning routine. I will have to see if that will work for me. (carrying it al... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 06:38:09 EST Needed: will power around friends! I went out to lunch with a friend from school. I had it planned out. I was going to order pizza with veggies and eat 2 slices and box up the rest. No more. <BR> <BR> Ha! 1000+ calories later... <BR> <BR> I had three slices of pizza, a house salad, and ice cream! <BR> <BR> Geeze! What happened??? <BR> <BR> I even worked out before I left, had a good breakfast, drank plenty of water. <BR> <BR> Now, I just feel like throwing in the towel for the day. But, I am not gonna. I am going t... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 15:28:12 EST Time keeps on slipping... Into the future. <BR> <BR> So, what wastes my time? <BR> -tv <BR> -facebook <BR> -driving (to and from school, my daughter's activities) <BR> -studying for school!!! <BR> -work <BR> -TV (kitty cats snuggled up to me on the couch) <BR> <BR> Hmmmm. tv..... <BR> <BR> I use it to relax. But I have promised myself that I will do at least 15 min of exercise while watching tv daily. Combining tasks will be good. And I won't have to feel guilty. <BR> <BR> JUST DO IT! Sun, 6 Jan 2013 09:50:23 EST Why is healthy so hard? Why is choosing healthy so incredibly hard? <BR> <BR> I once saw a quote that went approximately like this: People often miss opportunities because they mistake it for luck. Opportunity actually walks around in overalls and looks like work. <BR> <BR> In other words, skinny people aren't lucky. They aren't blessed. They do the hard work to make good choices. They move their bodies more and they do not eat beyond what their bodies need. <BR> <BR> It will take work to fix the bad choic... Fri, 4 Jan 2013 14:33:48 EST Faking it/Its all about me! In my musings to myself while out hiking to day, I came to realization that "faking it til you make it" is just another way of being totally into yourself. <BR> <BR> I was thinking about the time, a very long time ago, when I was trying to be more "sexy". I was in college, I was just trying to figure out my sex appeal, I was so self-conscious. <BR> <BR> At the time, see-through shirts were popular. I bought a very pretty, floral print, yet see-through shirt. I wore it out with a male fri... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 17:37:19 EST Are you with me? I hate resolutions! I do! I hate them. I don't know why. Perhaps because I never feel like I actually keep any of them. That's why I posted goals for this year on my spark page. Goals feel more..... Doable. Measurable. Reasonable. <BR> <BR> Maybe... <BR> <BR> Truth is, I am still scared. But that is why my goals are still not super measurable. I am going to work on this. Hammer out a plan. Well, I say that. But I know I am still scared. Scared to really put anything down on pa... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 19:36:41 EST 41 YEAR old 1st time soccer player!!! I hemmed and I hawed. I said yes. I then changed my mind. Then, at the last second, I agreed to join a soccer team. <BR> <BR> A guy I work with at the Y asked months ago. When I finally agreed, I could not believe what I had done. But, then I thought "I'm only a sub. Doubt they'll use me much." <BR> <BR> Turns out, girls are hard to get to play soccer on adult leagues. We rarely have enough to field a proper co-ed team. Guess what that means? <BR> <BR> I play the whole game! <BR> ... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 11:26:27 EST That was a BIG weekend! I blew my calories. But I was ACTIVE everyday! For that, I am ecstatic!!! <BR> <BR> Friday, I went to the Nature Center down the road from me and hiked for an hour. Then, that night, we kicked off the "summer" by swimming at my brother's pool. I dragged my teenage (very static) daughter with me and she actually said that I need to drag her to the pool more because that is what she loves to do for exercise. (Can we say VICTORY!?) <BR> <BR> Saturday I hauled my hiney out of bed and went ... Tue, 29 May 2012 08:34:55 EST 2 days of good eating and H2O & I feel GREAT! So I pee a ton. <BR> <BR> So I got a leg cramp this morning trying to stop the cat from leaving me a fur ball present on the carpet. <BR> <BR> So I am the mother of a SOPHOMORE as of this afternoon. <BR> <BR> I feel AWESOME! <BR> <BR> I am so proud of my food and water tracking. And the fact that I have kept my 10min a day promise of exercise. <BR> <BR> I know it's crazy--but I feel thin today. <BR> <BR> I'll take that feeling. And I'll RUN with it!!! <BR> Fri, 25 May 2012 07:53:23 EST Why is it that calorie counting brings out the toddler in me? Stubborn! <BR> <BR> No! <BR> <BR> I don't wanna! <BR> <BR> That's how I feel about limiting my calories. <BR> <BR> But like a toddler, sometimes I gotta do things I don't wanna, for my own good! <BR> <BR> Now, off I go to make a grocery list with loads of yummy, low calorie, low fat, items to fit into my food plan for the week.... <BR> Wed, 23 May 2012 12:29:39 EST What I need to pack for The Journey (of weight loss) Okay, I've been on this journey quite a while. And here I am back at the beginning. But each time I am here, I find I have new insights as to what I need. <BR> <BR> Someone wished me luck on the journey. Is luck what I need? Sometimes. <BR> <BR> Feel free to add to the list but so far here's what I know I need: <BR> <BR> -Strength and flexibility. Steadiness in the face of temptation, forgiveness in the event of deviation, quickness in getting back on the path. <BR> <BR> -Good pair ... Tue, 22 May 2012 13:35:27 EST 25lbs lost. 25lbs gained back I have done the work. I have had some amazing moments. I lost 25 pounds! But all that equated to was ONE lousy size in clothes. I could not imagine having to lose 25 more to get down another size. I could not bring myself to care anymore. Why bother? <BR> <BR> But now I feel like crap again. My knees hurt. My back aches. My body rejects my every effort to move more. Pain is a daily occurrence. My body HATES this 25 pounds! No matter what size my clothes say--my body does not li... Mon, 21 May 2012 17:17:12 EST The jerks that live in my head... I'm sad. I'm fat. I'm in Cincinnati. <BR> <BR> I'm so heavy. In body and spirit. <BR> <BR> I am so sick of being FAT! Yet I am also sick of trying so freaking hard to change my body, size, shape, weight, habits, mind. <BR> <BR> I want a do-over. I want to go back in time and LOVE the girl I was. That girl was thin. That girl was beautiful. That girl had no idea. <BR> <BR> This girl (woman) aches for that girl because she thought she was fat. She thought she was undesirable. She ... Sun, 20 May 2012 20:14:52 EST Easy Easy is over-rated. <BR> <BR> Easy is lazy. <BR> <BR> Not that I WANT everything to be hard. Some stress is good for the body. It is what builds bone and muscle and intelligence. <BR> <BR> Easy doesn't get you results that you can be proud of. <BR> <BR> So, lately, I have realized that I trend my life towards "easy". Or, do I? <BR> <BR> I am 41 years old, back in school full-time, working, a Mom, a homeowner (almost), in a relationship (back together again). Nothing about my choices... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 23:14:38 EST Weight is always the last... Weight/health issues always seem to be the last thing on my list to worry about. <BR> <BR> Isn't that what people who end up with catastrophic health issues say? <BR> <BR> Am I waiting for a tragic issue to pop up before I can finally put this at teh forefront? <BR> <BR> Why is it so hard to juggle all of the aspects of my life? <BR> <BR> The good news is that I have received A's on every single one of the tests I have taken the past two weeks. so, as you can see, school has shifted to... Tue, 25 Oct 2011 07:04:29 EST