STICKINGWITHIT's SparkPeople Blog STICKINGWITHIT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Still Here, Still Struggling Hello my fellow Sparkers, <BR> I've stayed off the boards for a while now, because I am struggling to the point where I haven't felt I'd be a good contributor. <BR> <BR> I've been on here since January, and have gained 5 pounds. That's right, gained. I've dabbled with lots of exercise, less exercise, lots of tracking, less tracking, paying attention to internal cues, trying not to binge at night, etc. <BR> <BR> Problem is, with all of those efforts, my weight has pushed up from an all tim... Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:16:19 EST Interesting article. Are we addicted to dieting? There's a group of us dietitians who are exploring the idea of eating competence (sort of like Intuitive eating) and health at every size... and recognizing that the research is equivocal on these issues, so we should explore all sides. This is from the NY Times, cited on the American Dietetic Association listserv email: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> ----------------------------------------<BR>---------------------------------------- <BR> <BR> July 16, 2009 <BR> Skin Deep <BR> Tossing Out the Diet... Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:30:14 EST Laurie and my kids inspired me... this is pretty funny So I wrote my brief little calorie cycling (haha) blog this morning, and then saw Laurie's status of starting the day right with an hour on the treadmill. So I thought I'd follow the lead of someone who is feeling good today, and I hopped on my treadmill. <BR> <BR> Put my laptop on Pandora radio, surfed a little on, and next thing I knew a half hour had passed! <BR> <BR> Here's where it gets funny. I've got an upbeat Jack Johnson song playing on Pandora, and my 11 year ol... Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:58:17 EST Haha, I'm calorie cycling! 2500, then 1700 the next day, then 2500 again... does that count? Lol, awfully glad I took that long bike ride last night!! <BR> <BR> In my defense I didn't know how deadly Quiznos tuna sammies were... apparently they're famously so. Sigh. <BR> <BR> Spark on! Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:32:54 EST Spark Blogs Help, I Think. Here's my ramble. I've been feeling so depressed the last few days. I'd had that 12 day binge free streak, and followed it with about as many days binge-ful. My weight has pushed up again, and although I fight it, I feel that old shame. Shame doesn't help anyone, I know, right? <BR> <BR> The last 2 days, I've said, okay, time to quit the bingeing again, let's get back on track. Aaand, I've failed. And felt more depressed, embarrassed, etc. <BR> <BR> Then I came on here and started rea... Sun, 19 Jul 2009 09:10:56 EST Ending a 12 day streak and beginning a new one... Well I went 12 days binge-free. I think I actually may have lost a tiny bit of weight, but my new scale (by design) is an analog-dial-type so that I can't obsess over every 0.2 lb. I can just sort of see that it's over or under a 5 lb increment. I find that to be much kinder and gentler (so thank you, old scale, for meeting an early demise). <BR> <BR> Our trip was wonderful in some ways, and extremely stressful in others. But that's another blog... When we got home yesterday, I felt the ... Thu, 9 Jul 2009 13:09:44 EST Trying to stay Zen... and Thank You I know it's a bit premature to get all excited, but this is my fifth day binge-free and it feels great. I already feel some of the belly roll disappearing, have not gone a bit hungry, and have only loosely tracked calories. I've been keeping my meals small and avoiding binge triggers such as wine and any kind of late night snacky food. If I get hungry at night I eat someting sweet and crunchy like an apple, drink my decaf sugar free suisse mocha, etc. Also have taken to busying myself aft... Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:14:53 EST Confessions of a Binge Eater, Part 2 Wow. I've been reading through the message thread where everyone defines what constitutes a binge. It seems the common denominator is a feeling of being out of control, of "someone else is driving the train," and preferring that the eating be done privately, without witnesses. <BR> <BR> Well denial ain't just a river in Egypt, is it? I've been swimming in it. <BR> <BR> When I was an adolescent, I did years of bingeing and purging. Went through therapy and the whole nine yards, which, by... Sat, 27 Jun 2009 01:30:07 EST Confessions of a Binge Eater. I'm a registered dietitian and university teacher. Today a friend was cutting my hair, and she said something to the effect of "Wow, I can't believe you're a dietitian and you binge." Wow. I explained that nutrition is a science, and eating is a behavior, and weight management is about a thirtieth of what I teach (ask me anything about a dialysis diet, tube feeding, or trans fats, and I'm your gal!) <BR> <BR> I feel frustrated that there's shame surrounding having eating problems. It com... Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:51:17 EST Getting Sick of Myself I'm getting really tired of myself... setting goals, feeling motivated, sure I'm on the right track. Exercising my fanny off, doing well, then rebounding with the old food habits. It's crazymaking. <BR> <BR> I've been on here almost five months and have lost, oh, around three pounds once you factor in the pound I gained (again) this week. It seems like as soon as I'm on track for a while, I give in to emotional eating or ease up (not stop, just ease up) on the exercise and the weight com... Sun, 31 May 2009 12:15:22 EST Two Weeks in May = 2.5 whoopsie pounds Which is to be expected, I suppose. The most stressful time of the work year, a really rough week and half of hormones, lots of emotional eating and lots of celebrating...just the perfect combination. Hopefully those little guys will come off pretty easily. I'm a little disappointed but not too much. The up shot is I feel pretty good in my skin still. I feel some of the stress lifting; I feel the elation of being able to spend more time with my gorgeous boys, get caught up on life stuff, ... Mon, 25 May 2009 13:27:18 EST The Gift That Keeps On Giving Seriously, again?? <BR> <BR> How many times have you come to visit during my lifetime? By my calculations it must be at least 340 times. And yet it seems I'm always surprised that you're here. I think it's because you're so insideous. Similar to the cat that you suddenly notice is sleeping in your lap ("well how'd you get there, little kitty? You're so sneaky!"), you sneak in every time. But unlike the purring furball, you're not here to cuddle. <BR> <BR> No, you prefer to manifest,... Fri, 15 May 2009 12:27:38 EST My Mother is a Control Freak I know, I know. Love thy mother. But I'll tell you, my blood is at a rolling boil right about now. I am fourty two years old. I have a graduate degree and a good job that I've held for twelve years. I have two healthy sons about whose manners my friends rave. I'm a decent cook, have a wonderful husband, and pay my bills on time. We live in a nice home in a nice middle-class neighborhood. <BR> <BR> My mother throws lots of parties. Lots. And each one is like the last. The Newcomers'... Tue, 12 May 2009 19:45:03 EST Moving on to Stage 3... finally... The Spark "Diet" plan suggests staying in stage 2 for six weeks, tracking food and activity EVERY day. Stage 3 involves cutting back on the tracking significantly, and learning all those internal cues to stay on track. They feel (and I agree) that this is perhaps the most valuable step of the plan. <BR> <BR> I've finally decided to move to Stage 3 after only four months, haha! I just haven't been ready until now. But now that my weight seems to be slowly but surely going down, and after... Mon, 11 May 2009 13:03:09 EST Follow Up to Kick in the Pants Blog: You guys are the best! Thank you so much. I ended up hanging out by the fire with DH last night, drank wine and ate leftovers (so I guess it was my cheat day) and allowed myself to have a lazy morning today. It's only 9:30 and I already feel my batteries recharging. I feel a little guilty about the calories from wine last night, but at least there wasn't a block of brie in front of me :) <BR> And it was lovely bonding time with DH, who I barely get face time with anymore. <BR> <BR> Thank... Fri, 8 May 2009 12:32:15 EST Is there a Spark Goodie for a Kick in the Pants? Because I think that's what I need!! This is the busiest time of the semester, I'm a bit of a caged animal with all this grading (and it's really gonna pick up next week), so sleep deprivation seems to be sapping my motivation. <BR> <BR> So would someone please send me a kick in the pants? A red hot cattle prod? Something? <BR> <BR> I think I can I think I can... Thu, 7 May 2009 02:47:59 EST Having an Identity Crisis Or a midlife crisis? <BR> <BR> Feeling a bit tight-chested, a little sad. Rested on my maternal laurels, never quite feeling the day would come when my older son would start pulling toward his father (who has put him through a lot, but that's a long story). <BR> <BR> I know I need to NOT make this about me, yet I'm feeling a physical reaction much like the one I had the first few times I had to let my baby go for the weekend. <BR> <BR> Wow, yikes. Get a life, Deb. They're gonna grow u... Sun, 26 Apr 2009 04:54:12 EST I Love My Spark People! It's a gorgeous day, and I am grading case studies. I love my job, but this is the one thing I abhore. I feel like a caged animal, particularly since the students at our university (a state school) severely lack basic writing skills. <BR> <BR> But I digress... <BR> <BR> In the midst of it, I got an email here, a message there, from my lovely spark people. Friendly voices! Aaaaahhh. <BR> <BR> Thank you!!!!! Sat, 25 Apr 2009 15:35:22 EST Quick Update on the Shoe Fund Well I'm into week 3 of my personal challenge. I took everyone's advice and didn't only have the "penalty" jar, but a "shoe fund" jar. I have to say, I haven't even looked at the shoe fund -- I must be just an exception to the rule? I have stuck with my (very reasonable) goals, really and truly motivated mostly by not giving any money to RL (Penalty Jar). I did leave the 40 bucks I initally earned in the shoe jar, though, and my husband only borrowed five for lunch money :) <BR> <BR> Wel... Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:19:55 EST "Just Remember The Food Will Be There Tomorrow..." Why doesn't this work for me? One of the principles of Intuitive eating and other nondiet approaches to weight management is telling yourself that you have unlimited access to any food, there are no forbidden foods. This way, it takes the "forbidden" out of the fruit, so to speak. I'm pretty good at this, and generally have a pretty good relationship with food. I like to choose foods that I really enjoy (I'm not cut out for sugar free Jello, and thank Goodness I actually LIKE celery!) bit still am constantly working on e... Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:55:14 EST Uh oh, rewind... didn't see that one coming. It's been a good week. I've been on that treadmill an hour a day, and sticking to my kcal "goal." Yesterday, though, I was honestly, physically hungry, and i knew there was no way I'd meet my body's needs within my kcal range. Assuming that would happen, I built in one "higher kcal" day to my plan. You'd think with what I do for a living I'd have seen this coming, but I didn't: <BR> <BR> Intuitive eating calls it "Last Supper eating." I knew this was the day I'd be exceeding my kcals, a... Sat, 11 Apr 2009 15:06:58 EST Score One for the Shoe Fund! Thanks for the piggy bank, Donna. I've taken everyone's advice and set up two jars. One for my shoe fund (haha) and one to go to support a fund that I can't stand. The plan is to keep the "nasty" jar empty for the next six weeks or six pounds, whichever comes first. And I'll tell you, it DID keep me on track yesterday. You know me, I'm not restrictive, but I did eat mindfully, which helped me stay within my calorie range (my own, not the SP one -- I'd pass out on 1200 calories :) <BR> <... Wed, 8 Apr 2009 16:04:52 EST Okay all set! Okay well now I'm comitted; I've told you guys and I told DH about the five bucks in a jar thing... <BR> <BR> I totally see your point about the positive motivators, and I love the idea of saving up for something wonderful like a cruise. We'll see how it goes <BR> <BR> For now, I just told DH, "So every day I don't meet my exercise and calorie goal, I have to donate $5 to _______" <BR> <BR> He said, "Oh no you don't!!!" And then the next second, "you know that might actually work." Pl... Tue, 7 Apr 2009 11:25:03 EST whoops, false start, but I have an idea! Did you hear the whistle? Sorry, that was me, jumping off the block before the gun went off. It was an embarrassing belly flop, actually. I know, I know, I was so ready to get going that I false started. Not to worry. Did a ton of exercise but completely fell into the emotional eating pool again. <BR> <BR> Okay so let's see, I now have that goal set, all my weigh in dates ready to go. Let's just climb back up on the block and redo. This time I'm adding a little twist, and you are my w... Tue, 7 Apr 2009 06:48:50 EST I think I'm finally ready to start losing weight. For several weeks now, I've been in a holding pattern, not really making an effort to lose, but rather keeping a reasonable activity and nutrition pattern as the ankle and soul recover from life's stuff. <BR> <BR> Now I think I'm finally ready. I'm looking at a goal of six lbs in the next 7 weeks, before the semester ends. So that means closer tracking, consistent exercise, plenty of sleep, and stress management. <BR> <BR> On my mark, get set, GO!! Mon, 6 Apr 2009 16:59:10 EST The True Goal: A New Normal. Hi Everyone, <BR> I'm a little behind on reading posts, but I wanted to chime in quickly on the idea of tracking our food, how long should we do it, etc... <BR> <BR> As a strong proponent of non-dieting, I understand not all will agree with me here. So all I ask is that your read to the end of this :) <BR> <BR> I think that dieting can do two things: take us to a place where we are out of touch with our body's internal cues (thus being absolutely reliant on external ones like food tracki... Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:02:57 EST PMS Stinks PMS Sucks. If you don't experience PMS, I'm not sure I can be your friend. Sort of like if you had a baby who slept through the night at 4 weeks old or if you married someone who actually has a social life or occasionally plans a date night... I can't be your friend. If you don't have cellulite I don't like you. If you wake up in the morning and your hair looks good, don't like you. <BR> <BR> But mostly, if you never get PMS. <BR> <BR> If you get PMS, and if it really freaking sucks, ... Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:22:05 EST