STEPH-KNEE's SparkPeople Blog STEPH-KNEE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Never Before Seen "Before" Pics! ;) <img src=""> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> I let my weight hold me back from having my picture taken... not only that, but the few that were taken never really saw the light of day, because I looked fat and didn't need anyone to see that. I realize how silly that is now, if they knew me, they knew I was fat, they knew what I looked like, so there was no reason to hide it. But if you check my Facebook, all the pic... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 03:12:50 EST Perfectly Timed Perspective... <img src=""> <BR> I have been struggling for quite a few days now... I am not panicking yet... but it is getting close to that <em>230</em> zone. So what happened today could not have come at a better time. But to paint a better picture... let me give you a little extra insight into today... <BR> <BR> I am feeling bloated, crummy, TOM is coming any second, I feel like a fatty-mc-failure... made terrible food choices, and just feel al... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 03:01:54 EST STEPH-KNEE Uncensored... Volume 1 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So I am always very honest here on Spark...when I'm doing great my blogs are all about positivity and <em>338</em> 's and <em>437</em> 's.... and when I am in the pit of despair, they are doom and gloom, but usually with some positivity sprinkled in at the end to try and help me to get out of the pit. I've always been honest and I always will be... but I will say that when I blog, I am very aware that at least ... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 06:47:16 EST Ready For More And Realizing I'm Lucky... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <em>137</em> I'm feeling quite lucky today, and am realizing I have so much to be thankful for. When I started this journey 27 months ago (yes, I count <em>246</em> ) EVERY aspect took a great amount of time, energy and planning. Learning to track my food was an adventure in itself... learning to stay IN the calorie range was even tougher. Trying to get in 8 glasses of water per day was pure torture! Who cou... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 06:18:45 EST Once Upon A Time...(36/41) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <em>188</em> Once upon a time, a long long time ago, in a far away land... there was a girl named Stephanie who had lost her motivation. It didn't happen all at once, it was a gradual decline. It started with a bad day here or there, then it was every other day that was a bad one... and then <em>530</em> Everyday was off track... she was eating and eating and doing the bare minimum in exercise, and she didn'... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 03:06:44 EST What I Learned From The Great Bod Pod Fiasco... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So first off, I'm not complaining at all that my Spark Blog was featured in the Spark mail, that is always an honor and privilege and always blows me away when it happens! But I do have to say I was a little embarrassed/mortified that my Bod Pod Meltdown ended up in the Spark mail. <em>246</em> I wrote that in the heat of the moment, when I had gotten home from my Bod Pod testing, and my emotions were running hi... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 05:45:23 EST Me and my bright ideas.... (BOD POD) It took everything for me not to cry getting the results. I knew it would be high, but I kept joking with a coworker I didn't want to be half fat. Well guess what, I am 49.9% fat. <em>46</em> There was a part of the test where you must blow into a tube and it measures the Thoracic gas volume... it said every time I was "high" so we did it 4 times and he finally said we will just do predicted. So it estimated that part based on my height and weight... I am not sure how much that could skew ... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 19:45:14 EST If You Don't Toot Your Own Horn, Who Will?! <img src=""> <BR> <em>215</em> <em>321</em> <em>215</em> <em>321</em> <em>215</em> <em>321</em> <em>215</em> <em>321</em> <em>215</em> <em>321</em> <BR> After entering my most recent status update here on Spark... I realized something. My "spark feed" is update after update of me tooting my own horn. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My first though... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 03:23:51 EST The Ultimate Weight Loss Reward... <img src=""> <BR> ^My beautiful Billy. <BR> <BR> When I started this weight loss journey in March of 2012, I tried the whole reward system. You know the one... <BR> <BR> Lose XX pounds or XX% and get <em>144</em> <BR> <BR> For some reason, it did not motivate me at all. There is nothing wrong with that reward system, it just did nothing for me at the time, and I ended up abandoning it altogether. <BR> <BR> But when my coworker and... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 03:07:10 EST Trying To Beat Self Sabotage... <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> This morning I took a sneak peek at the scale... I weigh in every Wednesday and record it on Spark and for the BLC. But usually by Monday or Tuesday I start to get antsy and want to know where I stand so I hop on. If the scale rings true again tomorrow I will be somewhere in the region of 186.6... and that is the <em>230</em> zone for me! How do... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 03:20:28 EST How Is This My Life?! <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> ^Earned my second one of these today! <em>334</em> <em>208</em> <BR> <BR> Today I got to take my mom to the Zoo. According to my Fitbit we walked 5.6 miles! Not only that, but I still owed Sparky a much needed walk, so I went 1.5 miles with him. If you would have told me 2 years ago that I was going to get to a point on my journey where I c... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 03:04:14 EST Time To Crunch The Numbers... <img src=""> <BR> Anyone who has ever tried to lose weight has done the whole "numbers game" before. We know weight loss is all about CICO (calories in, calories out), and that roughly 3500 calories = 1 pound of fat. Most everyone wants to reach that 2 pounds per week mark (okay, we REALLY want more, but 2 pounds is the top of the healthy range, so it'll do)... which means that deficit of 7,000 calories, coming out to 1,000 per day. Then ... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 04:33:56 EST Trip To The Zoo & Weekly Weigh In <img src=""> <BR> <em>134</em> I love animals, and I could talk all day about the trip to the Zoo... wait, don't leave! <em>246</em> I will try to keep it to the highlights. I will attach a bunch of photos to the bottom of this, so if you are interested in just the goods, feel free to head straight there. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> Highlights: <BR> <em>219</em> A little girl, maybe 5 years old walked up to the meerkat exhibit a... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 03:55:06 EST Like A Little Kid On Christmas... Last night I was like a little kid excited that it was almost Christmas morning! The recumbent bike I ordered last week was finally to be delivered today! <em>316</em> I live in a condo, and I often hear cars or track passing by (stinkin' thin walls <em>246</em> )... I thought I heard the delivery truck and even got up to check but I was wrong. So I headed back to bed. I had a doctor's appointment, and checked one more time, nothing. <em>39</em> I came back home, still nothing... RATS... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 03:03:08 EST Time To Start LIVING! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have to say, at 28 years old, I have allowed my weight to hold me back from doing SOOOOOOO many things. I know that it was my fault and my choice... all of it was. I am responsible for the weight gain, and I am responsible for missing out on things because I was too upset or embarrassed about my weight. There are overweight and obese people that are living life everyday, and living it to the fullest... I unfortun... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 03:03:30 EST Happy Days Are Here Again... (NSV, Rubber Bands, Etc) First off, thanks to everyone for the support, words of encouragement and advice on my last blog about my coworker Saboteur! <em>334</em> I was really just venting because I was so annoyed, but the response from all of you made me realize I need to remember who I am dealing with and not let her get the best of me. She is going to be the way she is regardless, so I just need to take care of myself, stand my ground, and not put anymore time or investment into trying not to hurt her feelings o... Fri, 30 May 2014 03:06:03 EST Get Outta My Way! <img src="">; <BR> I have a coworker that is an awful saboteur when it comes to me trying to lose weight! I could go into all the things I've dealt with over the years... but I personally do not want to relive all those things. So I will try to give enough background information to paint the picture here: <BR> <BR> She is in her 50's, loves to cook, loves to feed people, is at least 40 pounds overweight for her frame (and has put on 20 ... Wed, 28 May 2014 03:09:35 EST This Could Be The Start Of Something Good... Sometimes we feel like we need a fresh start or a fresh perspective on this weight loss journey. I have seen people reset their tickers, or go as far as resetting their entire account or even making a shiny new account. Whatever works to keep us on this journey is definitely the way to go! For me, this journey is on going and as it's a lifestyle, it never ends. The idea of clearing out my Spark page or making a new account doesn't interest me (although I see why some people would want to go d... Sat, 24 May 2014 03:30:33 EST Obligation VS. Desire <em>149</em> The definition of obligation is as follows: an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment. <BR> <BR> <em>149</em> The definition of desire is as follows: a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. <BR> <BR> When I started this journey over 2 years ago, I had a strong desire to lose weight. I wanted to lose weight, I wanted to feel better both mentally and physically, and I wanted to bec... Fri, 23 May 2014 03:37:53 EST Time For A Reality Check! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> You know the feeling... that first initial gain... "Oh, it's only 5 pounds. Nothing to worry about! It's probably just water weight, yeah that's it. It'll come back off, nothing to be alarmed about". That is all fine and dandy, until it's 10 pounds, then it's 12 pounds and your pants are starting to cut off your circulation. <em>246</em> That's the feeling I had today putting on my work pants... <em>15</em> I ... Sun, 18 May 2014 03:07:44 EST This Is Where I'm At... <img src=""> <BR> <em>228</em> Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form complaining about Spark, or whining in any way. I love Spark, always have and always will. I am also so incredibly blessed to have so much support from my Spark friends and I assure you I NEVER EVER take that for granted. That support and kindness is what has kept me going on days where I really wanted to just throw in the towel and give up. There is no better pl... Mon, 12 May 2014 03:07:24 EST The 190's Are Like A Bad Boyfriend... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Picture it, southern California, July 23, 2013. A 27 year old girl gets on the scale to reveal the Onederful number 199.6! She was officially in Onederland for the first time in at least 9 years! It was a tremendous day, celebrations with Spark friends and an amazing sense of accomplishment. The 190's were a beautiful sight to see, and gave that girl so much happiness! <BR> <BR> Fast forward to present day, May 3... Sat, 3 May 2014 03:05:49 EST Looking At The Bigger Picture <img src=""> <BR> I have gained quite a few pounds in the last couple of weeks. I was eating like it was going out of style. I know exactly how those pounds got there, and I am not ashamed. I did it, I made choices, and I am human. I never expected this journey to be perfect or easy, so I have learned to roll with the punches. <em>326</em> With that said, my pants are a little tighter, walking is becoming more of a chore instead of bei... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 03:02:54 EST Getting Off The Merry Go Round! <img src=""> <BR> In my last blog, I talked about how screwing up and giving up were two different things. Giving up meant throwing in the towel, no longer caring about your weight loss journey and leaving all of your healthy habits in the dust. Screwing up meant that you were momentarily doing the wrong thing, but had every intention of getting back to business. I truly do believe we have it in us to turn things around even when time ge... Sat, 26 Apr 2014 03:05:10 EST Screwing Up VS. Giving Up <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I pretty much consider myself an expert on the topic of "giving up" when it comes to weight loss. In all my previous attempts, I always ended up throwing in the towel. I managed to quit Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem (twice) and even Spark People twice in the past. Lately I have been off track and screwing up, but I am realizing there is such a huge difference between that and giving up. <BR> <BR> Givin... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 04:39:27 EST Me?! In A Walking Group?! Joining a walking group probably wouldn't be a big deal to most, but it is a huge deal for me for two reasons. The first is physical, I was a girl who was 272 pounds and would go up 7 stairs to my bedroom and have to stop and rest. I am obviously not that same girl anymore, but I do still have arthritis in my knees, a metal plate in my leg and screws in my ankle. The second reason is the fact that I am shy at first, so agreeing to join a GROUP of strangers was something I would have never don... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 05:27:15 EST There Will Always Be An Excuse To Eat... <img src=""> <BR> In my previous attempts at weight loss, I always felt picking a time to "start" was so difficult. My thought process usually went something like this... <BR> <BR> "I really need to lose this weight... I really need to start a diet." <BR> <BR> <em>228</em> Don't panic, the Stephanie of 2014 knows this is a lifestyle, not a diet... but the Stephanie of Past Failed Weight Loss Attempts did not. <em>211</em> <BR> ... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 03:03:08 EST The Dreaded "I don't care!" Attitude... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have noticed over the past 6 months, I have had many times where I tell myself "I don't care" when I am doing something I know I shouldn't. The biggest example of that is overeating. I will physically tell myself "I don't care" as I find myself in the kitchen preparing to eat things just for the sake of eating. I will tell myself I'm not going to weigh my portions or track any of my food because I simply "don't ... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 03:02:23 EST So My "Inner Brat" Had Some Valid Points... <img src=""> <BR> In my last blog,, I mentioned how my inner brat was throwing a temper tantrum over the healthy changes I was making. I had been working on cutting down sodium and trying to give up diet soda. I had done well for a while, and then my inner brat started to throw a fit! You see, I had no health reasons (high blood pressure, etc.) that I had to cut these things out. It was just one of my bright ideas that it would be health... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 03:33:05 EST Do You Ever Stop & Think: What Am I Doing?! <img src=""> <BR> I am having a rough day. I even deleted my blog from the other day about my "big plans". I have never deleted a blog before even if I changed my mind... I had nothing to hide, but I didn't want to look at it anymore already knowing that I am messing everything up. To sum up, I wanted a 28 day streak with the following rules: Don't get on the scale unless it's weigh in Wednesday, Sodium 2300mg or under, 1500 calories or l... Sat, 5 Apr 2014 03:27:14 EST The Time Has Come To Post YOUR Streak Results! :) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Where did all the time go? I don't know about you, but these 14 days flew by for me, and I can't believe we are already in April! With that said, it is time to post your streak results! Whether you did fabulously or you had a rough time, the point is that you tried and we want to hear about it. <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> My 14 day streak had 2 parts... to stay under 2300 mg of sodium per day and to not have any d... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 03:05:58 EST 2,000 Fitness Minutes... Initiate Puppies & Rainbows Sequence! <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <em>338</em> <em>437</em> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I typically reserve the <em>338</em> 's & <em>437</em> 's for really big milestones... weight loss milestones, hitting ... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 05:21:35 EST Timing Is Everything! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Do you ever come across something and say "That is EXACTLY what I needed to hear TODAY!" Timing really is everything. I was scrolling through my Spark Friend Feed as I do pretty much daily, and saw that quote posted in a fellow friends status update. It was exactly the thing I needed to hear today. <BR> <BR> I can keep reliving the hurt that was caused by my "friend" the other day, or I can move forward and focu... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 03:16:04 EST Why Animals Are Smarter Than Humans & NSV <em>230</em> Disclaimer: If you are reading this, it is highly likely that you are a human. <em>211</em> I don't mean that YOU aren't smart, you are fabulous You are a Spark Person, which I find are typically more intelligent than regular humans. <em>246</em> So if you can understand I am trying to make lemonade out of these lemons in a silly and light hearted way, than you may proceed to the blog! Bonus points if you are an animal lover. <em>338</em> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://p... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 03:13:45 EST Celebrating 2 Years of Awesomeness! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today I am celebrating 2 years of awesomeness here on Spark! <em>244</em> <em>236</em> <em>410</em> <em>408</em> It's not technically my 2 year Sparkaversary because I joined Spark back in 2009. I lost 40 pounds, started to gain it all back, and disappeared. I came back a couple of times with some half-hearted attempts that never amounted to much. To be successful on this journey, I had to learn to leave... Thu, 20 Mar 2014 03:08:38 EST Who's Ready To Streak?! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Now, the moment you've all been waiting for... Wait! What?! You mean no one has been waiting for this?! Wow, well this is awkward now! *DOH* <em>198</em> <em>246</em> Well anyways, the moment that *I* have been waiting for. It's almost time to streak! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am so excited about this! I had an awesome group join me last mon... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 03:04:47 EST Holy Sabotage Batman! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have definitely talked about this self sabotaging before, and here I am dealing with it again. In previous weight loss attempts, I started self sabotaging at the 40 pounds lost mark. This current weight loss journey (which I am determined to say it is my FINAL one btw) is a few days shy of 2 years and by far my most successful. I made it past the dreaded 40 pound mark... I know I self sabotaged as I approached O... Sat, 15 Mar 2014 07:46:24 EST Riding The Wave... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I know men don't like to hear our "lady talk", so if you are that kinda guy, turn away now! I am riding the ever so moody PMS wave. I don't get it every single month, and it usually is a day of being a cranky sourpuss and then it moves on. This particular wave of it was way worse than usual. I am cranky, I am overreacting to things, and I am so exhausted. For two days, I was acting as though small things that I sh... Fri, 14 Mar 2014 03:28:48 EST Sometimes Our Minds & Bodies Have Different Ideas! If we are Spark friends, you have probably seen my many updates regarding my knee... that is because it is driving me crazy! <em>246</em> I have rheumatoid arthritis in both knees, so I have to be very careful when it comes to my exercise. No jumping, nothing high impact, and nothing that could potentially tweak my knees. I kept all of that in mind when creating my workout calendar for March. I have been enjoying doing the Rockin' Body DVDs, and I always stick with Tonia and her modificati... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 03:03:33 EST The 180's, Measurements & Feeling Focused! <img src=""> <BR> So today my weigh in was as expected, pretty mediocre all things considered. I was down .6. I am always happy to see a loss, no matter how small. Don't get me wrong, I know we all hope for more, but I knew exactly why it was so minimal. Last week, I ate too much Wednesday-Friday. (I am counting in BLC weeks, so my week is Wednesday-Tuesday). I was perfect Saturday-Tuesday, but the first part of that awesomeness was spen... Thu, 6 Mar 2014 05:17:22 EST The Age Old Question... The epic question that any person who loses a decent amount of weight gets asked: <BR> <BR> How did you lose all that weight?! <BR> <BR> First I will start by saying, I have asked that question to MANY people in all my years of dieting and then failing miserably! I always had that tiny little glimmer of hope, deep deep down, that they were going to tell me of some pill, magic shake, or maybe they would just cut to the chase and introduce me to the magical weight loss fairy. <em>188</em>... Tue, 4 Mar 2014 03:54:22 EST February Stats, Streak Results & March Madness... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Overall, February was pretty rough. With my Birthday at the beginning of the month, I managed to gain 3 pounds the first week by celebrating for way too many days. Live and learn I guess. I will let the stats speak for themselves. <BR> <BR> <em>192</em> Total pounds lost: 2.6 (Goal 5 pounds <em>42</em> ) <BR> <em>362</em> Total strength training days: 6 (Goal 8 days <em>42</em> ) <BR> <em>313</em> W... Sat, 1 Mar 2014 03:03:32 EST Sometimes You Just Gotta Shake It Up! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I was faced with a really tough decision today regarding my streak. I committed to a 14 day streak of 1400 calories or less. I thought this would be a good range for me, because other than some light strength training and daily walks, I haven't been doing a lot of extra exercise. Tuesday marks day #11 of my streak... and due to my whacky schedule it's still considered Tuesday for me. According to my calories in cal... Wed, 26 Feb 2014 03:47:52 EST This Is Your Morning Wake Up Call! <em>230</em> Disclaimer: This blog is going to contain a no nonsense approach. This blog is NOT for the sensitive or the faint of heart! I am going to tell it like it is, and how I feel about things. This is not a sweet uplifting blog, this is a "wake up and smell the coffee" kind of blog. I will also say that this may not pertain to many of you, and for that I am thankful. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> I am going to start by saying that we all struggle, we all have our ups and downs and that... Mon, 24 Feb 2014 03:18:11 EST Sometimes It Just Takes Longer Than You Thought! So if you click on my Spark Page, it will tell you that I joined Spark in 2009. I did really well and lost 40 pounds, but then I hit a plateau, eventually gave up, gained it all back and then proceeded to hide from my Spark friends. Hiding from your Spark friends is NEVER a good idea, just FYI. But hey, live and learn, right? <em>211</em> I came back a couple of times determined to start fresh, and I would do well for a while, and then give up again. There came a point where I just had to ... Thu, 20 Feb 2014 04:27:06 EST A Quick Note To All The Funky Streakers... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> To all of you that have joined me on a 14 day streak, I can not thank you enough! It has really helped me to start off day #4 on the right foot! I feel like we are all in this together. I know many of us have different goals and are working on different things, but it is like we are doing it side by side! When I get the urge to overeat, I picture you all in the kitchen with me reminding me that it's not worth it. ... Tue, 18 Feb 2014 19:25:00 EST Who Is Ready To Beat The Funk? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So I have noticed a theme on Spark lately, and there seems to be many of us in a funk, or a fog. This was a discussion on my BLC team, that people are just feeling out of sorts. Some called it a fog, some a funk, but the consensus is that many of us just aren't feeling like we can tackle this weight loss beast right now. I know many of you are dealing with those horrible winter storms, and all that snow. <em>444<... Sat, 15 Feb 2014 06:26:11 EST I Just Said What?! <img src=""> <BR> Do you ever say something and realize later how far you have come or how much you have changed? <BR> <BR> The other day, I was in my room and the tv was on in the background, so I wasn't seeing it, just hearing it... It was a Burger King commercial talking about some new burger, bragging about how huge it was, two patties, I want to say they said it was a quarter pound burger. I googled now and I am guessing it was the... Thu, 13 Feb 2014 03:11:47 EST Stephanie: 3 Binge Monster: 0 TKO! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Okay, so I am calling it a little early... there is still about 5 hours left in my "day", but I am confident enough to tell you all that I have won this match with the Binge Monster! Is he gone for good? I highly doubt it. Will he pounce again when I am feeling weak? I bet he will... but this match I defeated him 3 out of 3 rounds. <em>104</em> <em>326</em> <BR> <BR> For me personally, if I can have 3 good... Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:13:51 EST What Goes Up Must Come Down... Or does it? <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This week my weight is up 3 pounds. I know exactly how it happened, it's no surprise. I went overboard on the Birthday celebration. The old me, that likes to eat excessive amounts of food saw that new me's guard was down and she pounced! I had decided to eat whatever I wanted on my Birthday and not track it, I was going to enjoy dinner and dessert out and call it a day. Well when old me got ... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 03:05:36 EST