STEPH*LOUISE's SparkPeople Blog

How I Can Tell I'm Ready to be Back

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 10:54:08 EST

Why is this time so different? Because I'm successful. I've crawled back at some low points, in fact, some of my lowest. Depression, band frustration, illness, stress, & just plain unhappiness. Were those the right points for me to get my health back on track? No, not for me.

Here I am now, a success. I now run my own businesses while working a part time job at a pre-school. I got my vet tech degree so I watch animals in my own home as well as in other peoples. I have an online bea...

I Took Your Advice, Can You Spare Some More?

Fri, 6 Jan 2012 13:48:40 EST

I took advice left on my last blog about not killing myself with stress for the holidays. Thank goodness I did, it was...dramatic. My husband's family isn't exactly comforting. However, I seriously don't want to get into it, so let's move on to the new horizon.

So, I remember what I did before. I really was doing well, but holy cow it seems like a lifetime ago. & I mean holy COW. I'll be starting from square one all over again, or like square negative 2? Something like that. Time t...

Why I left and why I'm back

Tue, 6 Dec 2011 11:29:09 EST

This is going to get personal. If you remember me, I've really missed you guys. This is just a not-so-quick update. I dropped off around the time i got banded. I got banded in April which was scary but felt necessary. I have hypothyroidism and when I found out I was angry. No I was pissed beyond belief. Even my own body hated me...really? I wonder if the band was the right choice now. But more on that later.

I am not going to tip toe around it, I miscarried. We didn't know I was pr...

Day 1 Did NOT Go As Planned...

Tue, 2 Nov 2010 16:08:40 EST

I was on track. I was eating right and on time to the doctor's office, and all ready to tackle my day.
1. Go see my doctor and look at my thyroid labs and such.
2. Get x-rays done.
3. Get blood taken.
4.Pick up new prescriptions.

I know you must be wondering how I managed to screw this up right?
So...somewhere between 3 and 4 things went terribly wrong. They were taking 4 vials of blood. Somewhere around the 3rd...bam I was out. Flat. Then got sick. Then b...

My Name is Stephanie and it Appears I'm Starting Over.

Fri, 4 Jun 2010 11:36:02 EST

235.

That is what my scale says this morning. 2.3.5.
I began this journey so long ago at 238. 3 pounds difference? THREE?

I have let myself go. I have messed up. & now, it is time to take responsibility for these mishaps and move on.

Today will be the first day I haven't crashed and burned on my meal plan. My plan is solid and I need this. My depression is spiraling out of control and my eating badly certainly isn't helping. Every time I've tried to "...

Shame.

Wed, 19 May 2010 12:24:53 EST

I am discouraged. I gained back a lot of weight. An unhealthy amount. & I think the hardest thing for me to admit....is that I have to start back at square one. I weighed in today at 230lbs, something I never thought possible. I had no idea how unhealthy my mentality is. I am so ashamed. I just want to curl up into a ball and cry.

I was at 209....how did I get back here within 2 months? I am in shock. & I see it, all of it. Every pound. Yesterday...I just kept eating. I ate everyt...

I'm making this next week awesome.

Sat, 27 Mar 2010 21:59:43 EST

This last week was dreadful. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted, and it huge quantities. But as of today, I'm back on track. I think emotionally I needed that week to remind me what I'm working towards. I felt DREADFUL. Sluggish. Messed up.

I'm not getting back into the working out yet though. Last week we got some bad news about him coming home. The military messing with his dates and messing up altogether. But hopefully, they will fix it. But its got to go through long chains o...

Who wants to see my pretty dress?

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:21:09 EST

Hello ladies and gents, miss me?
Its been well over a month. I have had a lot on my mind, but not a lot of words.

I'm stressed. Overly so. Waiting for my husband to get home has been killing me inside. I am bouncing off the walls inside. I have only been maintaining. I've been so off and so on. All or nothing. Where has my balance gone? How can I get it back?

My whole life will be flipped in about two weeks. I need to build consistency, because I know I'm probably g...

Mountain of a Monday

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:34:38 EST

I hit a mountain yesterday.
Ok I'll start from the beginning.
I had a great day. I went grocery shopping, looked great, and felt accomplished. All in all a great day.

But I've been having takeout envy bad lately. Really bad. Its probably stress, but whatever it is....BAD.

I wanted hot cheetos and nacho cheese. I've been craving spicy food like crazy. But I've also been craving cigarettes. REALLY BAD.
Instead of doing that, I ordered pizza.

...

"Stephanie, get the hell out of your own way."

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 01:54:54 EST

"Stephanie, get the hell out of your own way."

This is what I've been telling myself. There's so much more I need to say to myself. "Stop giving in." "You know better than this." "You are so much better than this." I have so much going on right now, and half are things I put upon myself.

I have a hard time liking myself. I need more pretty days because they've been few and far between. I need to balance out my life again. Instead of sitting here watching tv, I should be...

My Happy Day and Plans for a Fabulous New Year!!

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:29:48 EST

I am in a pain I am unfamiliar with lately. WORKOUT PAIN! BEST PAIN IN THE WORLD! hahah
Ok...so not hardcore pain, but a little achy....and I'm sure I'll feel it tomorrow!
I've had a lot on my mind lately what with the upcoming holidays and such. I'm looking forward to most of it, but its hard to muster up my usual highly addictive holiday cheer with one major component missing: my husband. Bummer man. BUT!!!!!! The end of December (the 28th to be exact...) marks are deployment 1/2...

THE COOKIE BLOG!!! Read if you're sticking to your guns this holiday season!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:56:24 EST

Ok, as promised, this is my cookie blog! Woohoo for Christmas!!!
Ok, I don't know how many of you are worried about packing on the pounds over Christmas...but I sure am lol
So I'm stocking up on ammo. I know my downfalls. For me, its the snacking. Christmas dinner is up in the air. My parents want to order Chinese food or get pizzas in the oven or something haha. But its the sweets....one night of splurging is ok...but not ever night leading up to it!

This is why I made...

Haven't blogged in awhile....let's put a stop to that!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:32:03 EST

This has been an interesting week. I'm awaiting my Wii (AKA the only scale that works around here...) is torture, but only because its easier for me to track my progress that way. I just can't wait to have all my tools back! & then some!!! I have the best husband! Even though he's gone, he knows its been really hard for me to stay on track. I'm Hyper-emotional and depressed...so this whole journey has gotten much more difficult. So I have a jump rope, balance ball, and a 4lb. weighted ball co...

Oh My Gosh........UHG!

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 16:09:14 EST

Bought a new scale today. My old one was my Wii....and now its broken.

And my husband's scale was awful.

So I bought a new one. A dial one because I hear they're more reliable than the digital ones...and cheaper.

I weighed in...granted...I've gained over the past few days I'm sure. And I haven't weighed in in a week....

But 224? Ouch. Way to nail me where it hurts!

216-224....oh so not good. I hope the scale is WAY off AND I hope its bec...

WOW! WATCH!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:52:24 EST

These girls are incredible, talk about a motivating workout!!!!
I'm also sending it to my hubby and his friends overseas, even though he's AF. :p

ENJOY!

a.blip.tv/scripts/flash/ showplayer.swf?file=http%3 A%2F%2Fblip.tv%2Frss%2Ffla sh%2F1826380%3Freferrer%3D http%25253A%25252F%25252Fe mail.plateautel.net%25252F imap4.asp%25253Faction%252 53Dshowmessage%252526folde r%25253DINBOX%252526msgid% 25253D503430674%252526file name%25253D%252526parseSaf e%25253DFalse%...

Oh November....you have me confused....

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:38:16 EST

Ok, so I read an article here on Spark today called "10 Steps for Starting Your Wellness Program Today." It made me realize I need to refocus. I've been having a tough time lately....mostly because I haven't prepped myself fully for being around people+food who aren't my husband or cooked by me.

For the past month, every time I lose 2lbs my parents visit...and I gain it back. WHAT THE HECK. Make it stop! I am careful. I'm not even eating bad. I've eaten worse and gained this amou...

Dear Self, Please Help.

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:22:45 EST

I know this is a familiar story from me, but I'm frustrated I'm losing more. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing EVERY day. And not "kinda" what I'm supposed to be doing, REALLY what I'm supposed to be doing. Its hard, because I am pushing myself so hard, or at least I thought so. When I eat more I gain. When I eat the way I'm supposed to be eating, I lose MAYBE a pound a week.

I have all the motivation in the world, but this is getting ridiculous. I'm making myself ill. I ser...

The World Just Keeps Turning.

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:22:47 EST

Its been a crazy few weeks since the hubby has left. I have lost 6lbs and my goal at the end of the month is 10lbs lost. Big goal for a little person! lol My first week was a big 5lb. loss now I feel like I'm dragging quite a bit. Well, today I just might have figured out why...I think I'm pmsing! Yay! lol Sorry if its a bit too much info...but I'm irregular so I hadn't even thought up pmsing until today. I ate 3x the amount of snack I was supposed to eat and that's about when it dawned on me...

Good Mail Thursday!

Thu, 8 Oct 2009 23:24:36 EST

Most of the time, I get crud mail. Or bills. Checking the mail hasn't been a joy since that time we went a little crazy on Amazon haha. Tonight was different though. What I've been waiting for finally arrived! Oh yes, my Wii Fit Plus, pre-ordered in a fit of excitement. And it couldn't have come at a better time!

Today wasn't a bad day, in fact I have been dead on with my nutrition. Yes, I am bragging. Its totally exciting for me haha. Its exciting being back on track! However, its...

6 Months of Dynamite

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 17:02:18 EST

Its happened. He left for Virgina last Wednesday, but he officially left the US last night. I'm still screwed up, but I know its time to focus now. I know there's nothing I can do to change where he's going or where I am. Therefore, instead of eating my weight in crud, I'm going to lose this weight. I'm going to FOCUS. I have 6 months to focus on me and my weight loss. I need this. I WANT this so bad.

Today I have begun. He officially left the US today, so this is kind of a monume...

Oh My Gosh What Was I Thinking?

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:40:31 EST

Does anyone else watch the biggest loser? I am.

I was eating a hot pocket. Ok, a lean pocket, but it was my second one in a row. I was watching their stories like I do every season. I was watching a Marine wife who is a homemaker. Her husband is gone a lot, and she gained 100lbs her first pregnancy. She used to sit in the bathroom and eat oreos and cry. That made me cry.

She was the first one up that hill, pushing herself to be the best. Then she hit like 3/4 of a way t...

Hopeful For October

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:53:49 EST

I feel like I've been PMSing for about a month now. Damn deployment. If I'm not crying I'm angry. And the food...oh the mountains of food I have consumed. I have seriously gained 10lbs in the past two weeks which is some kind of awful record for me.

I feel awful. I look awful. And my emotions are on overdrive. Even though I know everything will be alright or whatever, I panic about everything. I'm a compulsive worrier and deployment has just amplified everything.

But i...

My September

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:58:03 EST

My September

I’m not looking forward to this month. In fact, I am dreading this month. I do not want it to come. I would like to add that I’m crying through this whole blog due to my TOTM lol. Things have been tough lately and they’re only going to get tougher. I guess I need to start on my bright note though.

I BOUGHT A NEW CAR TODAY!!! I’ve prided myself since I began being an adult around age 16 to be responsible. It has paid off. Although my auto-credit wasn’t hig...

One Seriously Overdue Blog.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 19:09:51 EST

I’ve got too much going on lately, and yet nothing at all.

I focused on losing while my husband was gone because I had gained about 5lbs. Before he left from my previous vacation. I lost it all. Then from when he got home (the 20th) till now I’ve gained it all back. Granted, it was an exciting time. He was finally home and then my parents came to visit. AWFUL eating. I weighed in this morning and had gained almost all of it back. From 215 to 220 to 215 and now to 219.

W...

My Big Update, Cheesecake, and a Fantabulous Product Review!

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:50:04 EST

I’d like to start off by saying these past two weeks have been emotionally draining. I think this might be a long one…full of food and rants and raves….but you never know until you’re done writing.

My whole family drama was more drama than I could handle! We didn’t eat at my parents house ONCE except for SOME mornings for breakfasts. This means fast food/awesome fattening food for those of you not catching my drift. EVERY DAY.

I’ve been freaking out and finally weighed i...

Stamina

Wed, 8 Jul 2009 17:08:52 EST

I feel kind of empty lately. My emotions are haywire and my brain is all chatter and no logic. My weight loss has halted. It isn't going one way or another. At least when I was yo yoing a lot I knew if I gained I could lose. But its me. I'm not putting in 100% like I was and should be.

My husband and I are having a rough time. My sister is having a rough time and I'm the only one she can really turn to. My friends are all far away and even if they were here, I might prefer to be al...

Are YOU in the BSS? Please Read!

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:51:32 EST

It has been a strange Friday. I will start with the good and work my way down lol

GOOD: I HAVE LOST MY FIRST 10%! I know I know...I have been posting it everywhere...but I really need this to keep me going. I got unmotivated a few weeks back and my journey looked too long and too rocky. After a few days of feeling down...I pushed through. And I'm so proud I did. I know I couldn't have done it without support from my Spark friends. Thank you so much just for listening, it means a lo...

Just Breathe

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:30:22 EST

I've been having weird dreams. I was trapped in Jello and drowned after they saran wrapped the bowl. I weighed 500lbs. and got locked in the Pie Hole from the television show Pushing Daisies. Small chocolate people talked to me. All separate dreams, but all involving my weight I believe.

I guess its on my mind a hellova lot more than I thought eh? I guess I'm getting really obsessive. I've had eating disorders in the past and I've been chalking it up to stress...but maybe its somet...

Getting There.

Tue, 9 Jun 2009 13:39:29 EST

Well, I'm still at 215. Now its 215.2. I'm so antsy to get to 214! When I can hold 214 or less, I'll have lost 10% since starting! I'm SO excited! I've lost 3lbs since the beginning of this month which is pretty good. My goal for this month with my ~*~Dazzling Dragonflies~*~ is to lose MORE than 5lbs. I started at 218 so my goal is 213 AT LEAST! I think I'm well on my way.

I think I might be being a little extreme, but I think I'll be able to chill out some when I lose that 10%. I...

What an Awesome Weigh In

Fri, 5 Jun 2009 11:52:40 EST

So...I weighed in this morning as usual. I didn't cheat or anything yesterday, but I was still shocked. 215.8????? I've never even been 216 before!!! I was at 217.5 yesterday, so its super exciting! I'd like to think its my hard work catching up with me...but its probably just one of those fluctuation days. I'm excited though. I'm super excited. Because this means its possible!

I've been yo-yoing for like the past two weeks. I told myself "I have to lose more than 5lbs this month!...

They Never Said It'd Be This Hard

Thu, 4 Jun 2009 17:30:58 EST

I know they said it was going to be hard
But they never told me
It could be this hard
And these last few months are supposed to be great
And about loving each other
While we can
But every day I can’t help but cry
Because I keep wondering after everything we do
If that could be the last time.

I know its safer than it used to be
And I know he’s strong
But no where is safer than with me
And I can’t stop thinking of him there
...

Tomorrow...Tomorrow...

Sun, 31 May 2009 12:04:32 EST

Just two more days. He gets in at like 7:30 pm tomorrow so I won't get to see him much though which makes me sad. He leaves for work at like 7am. But hell, its better than nothing.

We've been planning out stuff we want to do before he goes. Most of it is silly random stuff. We want to go to Huntington Beach and take our dogs to the dog beach. That should be an experience lol. My parents just bought a house there that I'm excited to see.

Since I moved here I've been down...

Thursday & Friday Blogs

Fri, 29 May 2009 03:18:32 EST

Thursday Blog that wouldn't post :/ =

So I'm PMSing like a crazy person. I flipped out on my husband over pent up frustrations and I probably scared the crap out of him. Multiple times. I hate being a chick.

This is just one of those days where everything drives me insane. The dogs. The cat. The dishes. The neighbors. The lack of decent tv. Ok, so my world is not ending....but still.

The End.

Friday Blog:

Well I spent the past...

Work Outs and Weigh Ins

Wed, 27 May 2009 11:31:00 EST

Well I dropped of my hubby this morning : (
Very depressed. Stuck with myself for the week. Blah.

I know it’ll be a good test, but it still sucks.

I’m planning on getting some workout DVDs when he’s deployed. I can’t workout outside at all at this point. Its just too scorching hot. Even the walk to my car sucks. I’m thinking Belly Dancing, Flirty Girl Fitness, and some kind of Stripperoebics. I want fun things that’ll really hold my interest. Does anyone have any s...

This is Rough.

Tue, 26 May 2009 12:24:54 EST

I'm hurting today girls. I did my weigh in last Thursday....and then from Thursday the second I got of the scale till last night I ate horribly. I exercised, but I still wasn't putting 100% in like I know I should've. I weighed in today at 224. Thats a SIX pound difference! I know some of it is water retention and blah blah but still...OUCH. I know I've been stress eating and being stressed in general. I tend to gain or stay the same regardless of my eating habits when I'm stressed anyway. I'...

Checking In

Wed, 20 May 2009 14:31:46 EST

I haven't written in awhile. Its been a tough few days. He's deploying. September 30th. I'm pretty much a nervous wreck. I've lost people in the war and even though this base is one of the safest in Iraq...its still a base in Iraq and he's still my husband. I just thought we'd have more time.

It'll be a long six months on my own. All of my family is 4 hours away. I'd go stay with them just for some kind of support, but my parents live in a senior park. And the rest of my family dr...

I'm getting so close to my second goal!!!

Thu, 7 May 2009 11:40:51 EST

I'm officially 220lbs! I don't do the whole decimal thing even though my scale does because that's the part that tends to fluctuate. I weigh 220.5, but I'll take it because its been stable for two days! Heck yes! I'm so excited!!!! When I get down to 215lbs, that'll be 10% of my weight GONE AND DONE WITH! I'm so close now! But to focus on the NOW and be happy with the NOW is what'd really important. And as of NOW I have lost 18lbs! I can't believe it! I'm so proud of myself!!!

I w...

Pictures of My Babies and Suprising Weight Loss!

Wed, 6 May 2009 11:17:21 EST

Woohoooo my TOTM is over and I'm feeling much better! Plus, my weight from the dreadful week has peeled off, thank goodness! Now I'm down to 220.5! Yayyy! My official weigh in is Thursdays, so tomorrow I'll make it official 224

Does anyone else weigh in and get realllly excited the wonder if its a huge fluke? I do that sometimes because, well, weight fluctuates. I am always wayyy more excited when I get proof the second day 104

Lol my Cobo is over ...

Weekend Weight Loss and Bathing Suit Pics!

Tue, 5 May 2009 11:44:11 EST

I LOST WEIGHT OVER THE WEEKEND!!! I'm shocked! I don't remember ever being able to do this before with company over! I'm down to 221.3 from 222.6! Check me out!

I thought I was going to be working my butt off to work off those calories...but I ate a lot better than usual and apparently it made a real difference!
And, as a part of my growing process, I got my confidence level up enough to take pictures of my bathing suit!

Sat, 2 May 2009 10:34:31 EST

Blah. I’ve been up since 4:30. Its Saturday. Its just not right. Drunk college friends calling to tell me they’re drunk and wake my husband and I both up…yeah not my favorite thing. And it was juuuusttttttt late enough that I couldn’t go back to sleep. Awful. I’ll need a nap later.

Ok, now that that’s out of my system. Good Morning! I’m watching the Soup. Most of the morning cartoons suck now, so I am left with gossip. I hate Heidi and Spencer. They’re everywhere. And irritating. P...

Hello Mr. Economy? Yes, this is war.

Fri, 1 May 2009 11:59:38 EST

I'm blogging kind of early eh? Oh well, I have things to say! Haha

We did grocery shopping last night. Lately its been all about going where its cheapest for the stuff we want. Our choices have been Smiths (closest grocery story, the Commissary over on base, and (drum roll please) the 99 cent store lol

Hey don't knock it until you try it! You will be shocked, I promise. I have started getting really devoted to some of the things there, as weird as that sounds. The produc...

Happy Thursday!

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:28:41 EST

I’m having a great day. Nothing spectacular going on…I just FEEL really good! I weighed in at 222.2 today, the lowest I’ve been since starting. I don’t do the whole decimal thing, so it doesn’t show a change on my ticker. But inside I’m beaming : )

I’m feeling good. Still not a major change physically, but I’m feeling great! I’m really looking forward to throwing out this one pair of jeans in a few months when I fit into some other pairs. They’re horrible. They’re beyond worn and h...

Biggest Loser and Smaller Toast.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:26:30 EST

I was actually really surprised as I watched last nights episode of Biggest Loser. I know its not the way to lose weight…but its still an inspiration in my opinion. Oddly enough, I started disliking Helen a little less haha. I wasn't surprised that they sent Filipe home, but I was still disappointed. I guess I just wanted them all to take on the challenge, but if I was in the same position...I don't know if I'd be able to risk all that money either.

I always love when they throw ...

Just One Step At a Time...

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 11:20:40 EST

I weigh 222lbs. as of today. This is the lowest I’ve weighed since starting this journey which is very exciting. Especially since this month has had LOTS of ups and downs. But, even if I didn’t lose as much as I was expecting, I started this month at 228-229. That’s a loss of 6-7lbs. Nothing to smirk at in my book so I’ll take it graciously. Plus I still have one more week : )

I’ve accomplished so much this month. I got my whole car situation fixed. My dad has seen my apartment a...

HELPPP! Its Funny How Things Can Change in Mere Hours!

Wed, 8 Apr 2009 20:08:05 EST

My husband completely lifted my spirits. I went back and read my blog from earlier and all of the nice comments and it also made me feel better.

Although my birthday present from my husband was the Wii Fit, I received more gifts from him today! I got a running band for my I Pod ( a pink breast cancer one :p ), I got a 7 in one pack for my Wii Fit which I love (especially the jelly sleeve for it!) and he got me My Fitness Coach which I'm SO excited to try!!!

I'm thinking ...

I'm Just So Down.

Wed, 8 Apr 2009 15:33:04 EST

I'm bummed.
I feel horrible. Those cupcakes from yesterday were calling to me in the fridge. I ate one right after doing 90 minutes straight on the Wii Fit. Way to sabotage all that effort eh?

My head is pounding. I need to go to the dentist, which is something I very rarely volunteer to do. Normally I am dragged to any kind of doctor. My husband just informed me that I can't go to the on base dentist unless I want to sit in the waiting room and wait for maybe an open appoint...

On the Road Again....

Sat, 4 Apr 2009 12:17:07 EST

Here I am back at my original weight before I left on my vacation, and I did it in only 3 days! Woohoooo! I've been on my Wii fit for 75 minutes a day which I'm VERY proud of. Usually on the weekends, I don't exercise at all because my husband is home and we're just so excited to relax together. However, this morning I got up before 7 (which is a big deal for me) and did 35 min on my Wii Fit this morning and I'm feeling proud.

I've been eating between 1200 and 1300 ...

I went to the gym today!!!!

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:44:34 EST

So tomorrow is my one month anniversary since I started REALLY using Spark. I joined in November, but I offically started weighing in and inputing my food February 21st, 2008. I am so SO proud of myself. Ok...so its just 8lbs...but heck its better than nothing!!! Oh and in case you already read my post one DONE girls, I also post a lot of blogs...I like to look back and see my memorable moments

That was ME at the gym earlier. I've lived here since October and have been too humilia...