STEELKICKIN's SparkPeople Blog STEELKICKIN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Blipping on the Radar Screen In all honesty, I've attempted several blogs in the last several months. They were either weepy, mad or in some weird mood that even I can't describe. All I know is, they were not fitting nor interesting. It was like a zombie trying to make a journal entry. Usually zombies only have one thing on their minds and it doesn't make for a very cool read. Unless you like zombies. If you do, then you would have probably found my attempts at blogging wildly entertaining. <BR> <BR> Cutting to th... Wed, 2 Sep 2015 17:30:47 EST Let's Git 'Er Done It's so freaking odd. <BR> <BR> So many days of endless homework, presentations, studying for exams, reading brain-numbing information to just...ZILCH. It's like a speeding car that comes to a sudden halt. After the initial shock, you're wondering where you are and how you got there. Suddenly, you have so much time to concentrate on everything that is around you instead of the blinding break-neck speed of life. The roar of the crowd is quiet and you are just standing there, listening to ... Thu, 2 Apr 2015 18:52:25 EST Beauty and Grace When I found out my SIL had pancreatic cancer Saturday, my first reaction was to panic. Although stoic and silent on the outside I could feel myself beginning to unravel on the inside. I knew I had to keep it together for the others but I wanted to run to another room and scream. I wanted to throw things. I wanted literally to tear everything apart. I have lost people. We ALL have. And we have wondered how we were going to move on when we DID lose them. It is unfair and it is unfortunate and ... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 18:49:48 EST What My Fuss Was All About... I am uploading this blog from my phone so if anything looks screwy, that's why! But just so nobody thinks I'm a complete scrooge when it comes to winter, I wanted to post a few pics I have taken since this season began. OK, maybe I AM a scrooge but I do respect those of you who enjoy it. So this blog is for you. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src="http://photos... Fri, 6 Mar 2015 20:49:14 EST Snow Cones, Anyone? It's difficult getting out of bed when it is -11 outside. Without wind chill. The house was warm, sure, but knowing I would eventually have to open the front door and go out IN it made me want to bury my head under the covers and go back to Dreamland. Not only have I had to deal with dry skin and fly-away hair, the static electricity has been a pain in the rear, too (sometimes LITERALLY). From door knobs, to my car door, to toilet seats, to kissing my old man, I've been shocked more times... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 17:47:34 EST Fighting The Urge To Indulge... Yeah, I noticed some of my pants not fitting very well lately. I walked past Brian the other day and he said, "What's wrong with your jeans?" I said, "Huh?" and he said, "They're hangin' a little strange." I ran to the mirror and turned around and did the set of usual poses I use to determine authenticity of his statements. Something DID look weird. The same in some spots but definitely a little "hangy" in other areas. So I jumped on the scale and it said that I was seven pounds lighter... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 18:28:29 EST And Then There Is This... I found out that I have clinicals in March. This is where I will go for three days and work side-by-side with someone to get a feel for the job I am studying for. No sweat. I did this when I was studying for my nursing license. Then the bomb dropped. "This is basically a job interview. Treat this as your opportunity to get in the door. We will be placing you in the position and facility that we feel you are most qualified for. You will know in a few weeks where you will be going." ... Thu, 22 Jan 2015 19:14:27 EST Career Alternatives I'm thinking about quitting school and becoming a professional wrestler. Think about it. I won't have to be up every night til the wee hours of the morning studying and I can take my frustrations out in the ring. Like, if I was going to be a wrestler, I can go one step further and become a SUMO wrestler. I hear that they can eat all they want, sleep in as late as they want, and other than the thigh chafing, they are pretty content to live their lives with a few extra pounds. I would be, ... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 19:30:16 EST Sparkin' On There are a lot of things I could write about as I sit here, some happy, some sad, as I pull my blanket a little tighter around me. I decided to change my Christmas background (finally) to thoughts of spring (it's a little flower that sprouted in my woods last year) in hopes that it will thwart off the negative temperatures we are experiencing right now. So, I haven't lost my marbles completely, there's just a lot of wishful thinking and e.s.p. involved in turning this winter around. I'm t... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 19:21:01 EST I Dropped A Kidney Somewhere... No one told me once you hit 45 that everything was going to fall apart...I mean literally. Body parts seem to start malfunctioning or squeaking or literally falling off, much to your freaked-out dismay. You try to go have them fixed or glued back together, or if you have two of them, you just tell them to go ahead and take it out if it's giving you too much of a fuss. I've come to the point where I just tell the docs, "It's okay, I've got a spare, just yank it out of there..." and I go bac... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 20:06:19 EST Momma Said There'd Be Days... There was a sheet of ice on my front porch steps this morning. Looking down at them, holding five textbooks, an umbrella, my lunch box, my keys and my purse, I realized I had several options: <BR> <BR> a) Attempt to nonchalantly go down them and just hope for the best. <BR> b) Call the school and tell them I wouldn't be in today. <BR> c) Go back inside and get the salt. <BR> d) Whine like a girl. (Ok, so I did. A little.) <BR> e) Call my husband on his cell and tell him to come out and car... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 18:57:12 EST Thank You... Happy Thanksgiving, guys. :) <BR> <BR> I may not get a chance to get back on here before the holiday goes full swing so I wanted to take advantage of the few moments I have now. I don't get much time these days to stomp around this neck of the forest and when I do, it's always a treat. It's like a little vacation in my heart to come back here. I am eternally grateful and thankful for finding this site. Back in 2009 I made my first profile page, STEELERCRAZY, and I began my journey of a ... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 21:37:33 EST The Big Picture I think it was Forrest Gump who said, "I'm pretty tired. Think I'll go home now." Or something to that effect. Anyways, I know what he meant. You get tired of runnin'. For me, runnin' is trying to get everything done during the day or THINKING I'm done when I realize at 9 p.m. I didn't do the report for Med Term due the following day. Runnin' is an understatement when that happens. It is pure panic at the disco at that point and I'm sucking on the computer screen at 1:30 in the morning... Mon, 17 Nov 2014 17:29:07 EST And Plum Pudding... Most people don't know that I had rhotacism as a child. And it definitely sounds alot worse than what it is, lol, but it is the inability to pronounce the letter "R." Looking back now, I prefer to believe that I sounded like someone from Boston with their quaint rugged accent ("Oh, look at those boids flying so high, so GOIGOUS!") but it was a definite struggle. I endured four years of speech therapy from grades one to four...most of you who have spoken with me over the phone know that I d... Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:02:02 EST Kicking Back And then there was Thursday. <BR> <BR> It seems Thursdays are my day of solitude. After a long day of school and the tedious drive home, I usually fall through the door and throw my books on the table. Off come the shoes, the bra, the ponytail and any pretenses of being an adult. (Adulthood is overrated, ya know. I think it's much more fun to play in the dirt and pretend you don't have any responsibilities. Hey, admit it! You do it, too!) <BR> <BR> Today was different, though. Driv... Thu, 16 Oct 2014 21:18:14 EST A Day For S'Mores... What a week! It has flown by, just like so many weeks before. I have fallen off the bandwagon a tad bit, getting lured in with a class pizza party and pumpkin cookies that magically appeared on a paper plate by my computer. I ate one. (Kinda like a squirrel, holding it in my cupped hands, eyes darting from side-to-side to see if anyone was looking. They WERE.) Today was probably the toughest. It was a normal day but it was difficult to take two tests when I had a migraine last night. ... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 17:37:00 EST How 'Bout THEM Beans?! I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone. All of you, who have encouraged me through my blogs, my SparkPage, the goodies...once again, each of you has given me the proverbial "glitter in my step" and have made me feel very lucky (AND BLESSED) to have each and every one of you as my friend. My FAMILY. Really, I don't honestly think I would be where I am today if I had not "met" you. You give me butterflies in my belly. :) A true sense of "belonging." When you could so easily ... Tue, 30 Sep 2014 18:41:30 EST Weight Doesn't Matter; Healthy Does <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I was seven years old there. A little on the chunky side but obliviously happy. I remember the day that picture was taken. I had argued with my mom about my hair and wanted to wear that shirt. I didn't want to wear the blue flowery dress she had picked out for me. I was a little bit of a tomboy then so the dress was OUT OF THE QUESTION! So we compromised. I would put the bobby pins in my hair if I could wea... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 18:54:52 EST Life: Unscripted When I was asked to come up to the front to present my presentation on Tuesday, I thought I was going to have a baby calf. My knees were knocking, my heart was pounding, and my mouth suddenly became dry. (I could feel my upper lip sticking to my teeth.) Any other time, my peers would be talking quietly among themselves or making some kind of racket but, in this situation, they were quiet. Looking back at them on my walk toward the podium, they were all sitting like small children, hands in... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 18:31:04 EST Zombies Don't Know It All! There's nothing wrong with coming home after a long day and sitting outside on the back deck in your pajamas. Seriously, I do it all the time. They are purple with white pokie dots and made out of fleece. I just sit there and swing, reflecting on life. Sometimes I think, "I should really be doing something. Like, vacuum. Yeah. Or painting that picture for next year's arts festival. Maybe I will do laundry. Yeah." But an hour later I find myself getting up, meandering into the house,... Mon, 22 Sep 2014 19:42:43 EST Double-Dipped Awesome Sauce! Have you ever woke up feeling like you have been double-dipped in Awesome Sauce? With a sprinkle of glitter in your step? A smile that blinds the eyes of the world? Nothing can stop you now?? You're sexy and you know it, clap yer hands??? <BR> <BR> Well, me neither! <BR> <BR> After yesterday's escapades with the coffee pot and introducing the veins in my brain to "fizzle fuh-shizzle" I was greeted with a hang-over this a.m. Not the Red's Apple Ale kind, the Folgers-In-Your-Nervous-S... Thu, 18 Sep 2014 18:53:34 EST Just Snippets... What does it mean when you accidentally drop your Microsoft Office textbook on the floor but kick it ON PURPOSE beneath the t.v. stand? <BR> <BR> a) Study time is over. <BR> b) It's time to switch your "major." <BR> c) You officially hate computers. <BR> d) You've become psychotic. <BR> <BR> Oh!Oh!Oh! I know! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The only problem is, I really don't have anything to blog about. I could tell you that I'v... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 20:07:02 EST Weekend Wishes! Well, my dear friends and cohorts, another week down. It looks like the weekend is upon us and thoughts of mischief and fun are dancing in our heads! What are we going to get into? Are some of us going to spend time with family or friends? There may be those of us who are going to get a few things accomplished around the house or lounge in leisure. Perhaps some, unfortunately, have to work. But either way, let's try to find SOMETHING to smile about. And let's try to adhere to our goals... Fri, 12 Sep 2014 17:32:39 EST Knock, Knock...Hello!! I just...well, I just love you guys. All of you. Every single person on my friend's list, every single one that has left goodies at my SparkDoor, all of you. From commenting on my page to my SparkFeed, you all are just a bunch of lively firecrackers that give me the giggles, heartfelt tugs, encouragement, a smack on the head (which I rarely EVER need, cough!) and good, ol' fashioned love. I will say it again...this is the BEST destination in the virtual world. There are times, however, I... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 17:11:47 EST Ditch That Crap Part Tres: Conclusion Somehow I knew by coming to you guys that I would be able to sort this mess out. There has always been a part of me that wants absolute perfection in everything I do and once I get my head stuck on something it doesn't let go quietly. I either go hard or go home!! With all of this great advice I have received over the last few days, I am happy to announce that I have come up with a plan: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Noooo, just ki... Fri, 29 Aug 2014 19:27:39 EST Ditch That Crap Part Deux Holey moley. Just....BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. My vocabulary today is a mix of grunts and "icks." I'm pretty sure I look like a cross between Jack Nicholson and Edward Scissorhands as I scour the articles I'm reading on sugar and its effects on our bodies and mind. I woke up this morning gung-ho on the idea that I am eliminating this nasty substance from my existence at all costs but halfway through my oatmeal (packaged) I realized it had sugar in it as well. Then I realized my "healthy... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 19:10:06 EST Ditch That Crap! Let's be honest here. I like my sweets. I would be lying if I said I didn't smuggle a Reese's Cup into my diet every so often and shamelessly eat it in private. My reasoning?? Hiking is difficult. It takes alot of stamina and strength to keep pushing forward. I have relied on carbs to give me that "ooomph" I need to have energy. Problem IS, sometimes the carbs are the wrong ones and I find myself in a chocolately mess, feeling like a six-year-old who just pulled a fast one on my parent... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 17:45:02 EST What He is REALLY Trying To Say... Once you have been married for over 20 years, you and your spouse develop a “code,” a dialect only the two of you can understand in public and private conversations. You become so comfortable with one another that sometimes you can “speak” with no words, often using eyebrows, a twist of the lips or body language to convey what you are thinking or feeling. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about, but just in case there are some young'uns out there who don't, I will happily give you ... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 18:10:29 EST Knocked Down to Size Spitting, wiping the grime away from my nose and eyes, I picked myself back up from the dirt and blinked rapidly. It wasn't the first time that I slipped on that particular rock and it probably won't be the last but DAYYY-um. Still tasting the grit and saltiness in my mouth, I could only imagine what a sight I was but I had no choice but to push forward. Going forward or backward was the same distance so I limped ahead, secretly hoping I wouldn't see anybody along the way. Feeling a welt ... Thu, 21 Aug 2014 19:51:29 EST Things You Probably Shouldn't Do Half Asleep I'm not a morning person. And by that I mean, if someone expects me to be coherent of thought and on my toes before 8 a.m., they are terribly misguided. I may be up and walking (I use that term loosely) but I'm pretty sure I resemble a zombie; dark puffy eyes, slobber coming out of my mouth and sounds that would please Chewbacca. I'm not sure why...I think we are all either morning people or night owls and I don't believe that we can change that. Usually when others are gearing down for t... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:49:18 EST One More Mile “It's not a workout until you want to stop.” <BR> <BR> Boy, is that ever true. It's when you push past that agony of not being able to breathe, of feeling your thigh muscles quiver with each climb. It's when you think to yourself, “I feel like I am dying” but something inside of you has an epic desire to keep moving, to keep pushing the envelope of self-imposed boundaries, and to just simply carry on. You haven't felt true euphoria until you realize that you ARE capable of more things tha... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 18:15:54 EST And Then There Was Today... Have you ever had one of those kick-butt kind of days, where everything seems to fall in place, with your meals, exercise and general attitude? I'm not saying I woke up with the intentions of being the model recipe for fitness but as the day progressed, I found myself WANTING to be a more adventurous. I had to push at first, to get that first leg of hill-climbing in, but once I got the rush of oxygen to my brain, I was hooked. I went off the beaten path quite a few times. But isn't that w... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 21:28:51 EST Wishing and Dreaming... Have you ever wished you could wake up one day and have success fall right into your lap?? Such as getting out of bed and seeing those 10, 20, 30 pounds gone in the blink of an eye? Okay, maybe that's not “success,” but wishful thinking (or sorcery!), but do you ever wish it so? Or that you will walk into work that day and your boss will give you the promotion or raise that you are long overdue for? I could make a list of all these things we wish from infinity to beyond (!) but the truth ... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 19:41:24 EST Randomly and Relatively Speaking... <img src=""> <BR> I think my noggin has been in “stand-by” mode for the last few weeks. I've actually had several moments that I've caught myself drooling in the check-out aisle or have stared blankly at my husband while he has asked me the same question for the fourth time. I don't get too alarmed when this happens. It's a common occurrence. Imagine a computer, one that you have had for many years. It still works but it just takes a... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 20:26:01 EST It's The Little Things... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The roller coaster of life. <BR> <BR> One day you are motivated, determined and insanely confident. The next you are procrastinating and flat. There are the emotions you experience in between the highs and the lows: elation, happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, satisfaction. The list goes on. <BR> <BR> These can all happen in the course of an ordinary day. <BR> <BR> So, how do we maintain the upswing... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 00:23:55 EST Kids, kids, kids... Never mind the fact that my grandgirls from Oklahoma showed up and messed up my hiking routine this week. I would gladly trade the hills for their cute little faces every day of the week and twice on Sunday if I could. I've managed to make it out to Pine Ridge a few times this week, plus today (it was rather late and I thought the park ranger was going to close the gates on me but he graciously just gave me stern warning) but these gals have given me alot of exercise regardless. I have one... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 00:07:05 EST Trusting My Gut I don't know. <BR> <BR> I knew it wasn't going to be easy, that's for sure. <BR> <BR> For the most part, I've been excited about my new journey, watching the small changes taking place in my body. By “small” I mean TINY. Like, TEENY-tiny. Like, if you look close enough I have one less dimple on my badonkadonk and MAAAAAYBE a little muscle in my calves. I don't know why I thought when I made the decision to start over again, it was going to drop off overnight. <BR> <BR> But I woke u... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 23:32:38 EST Second Step: Own It The most difficult thing about this particular journey is the fact that I want to keep making excuses. <BR> <BR> “If my job had not been so stressful...” <BR> <BR> “If I didn't have to have surgery...” <BR> <BR> “If I had time to cook more wholesome foods...” <BR> <BR> “If I just had more time to HIKE...” <BR> <BR> ...then I would not be where I am today. <BR> <BR> “If McDonald's didn't exist...” <BR> <BR> “If my lupus would stop flaring up...” <BR> <BR> “If stress didn't make me ... Wed, 28 May 2014 23:17:19 EST First Step: Acknowledge It. Blah. <BR> <BR> Blah. <BR> <BR> Blaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh. <BR> <BR> Right? <BR> <BR> How many have been here before? How many times? Let me see a show of hands so I don't feel so dumbfounded by this situation I'm in ONCE AGAIN. What is it with me? It's like a challenge within a challenge. Let's see how many times I can get to my goal weight, gain it back, lose it, gain it back and lose it again. I'm going to give out the usual excuses too. My work was killing me. (One day off a month, ... Thu, 22 May 2014 22:35:01 EST Embrace Who You Are... Life reflections. These happen as you grow older, when you begin wondering what made you YOU. I came from humble beginnings, a little tomboy who grew up in the middle of the deep country, surrounded by woods, vegetable gardens and grape fields. (I actually lived in the midst of The Louis Jindra Winery and will admit to sneaking off from my designated play area and eating my fair share of the gorgeous, plump fruit that hung from the abundant vines...) I was blissfully happy to play barefoo... Tue, 17 Sep 2013 01:03:43 EST Playing Hookie! <img src=""> <BR> I've missed it. I've missed it to the point of taking a vacation day from work and throwing myself head-first into the swanky weeds and chigger-infested grass and breathing in the woodsy air around me. I actually hugged a tree too. Sniffed it. Felt it. Took off my shoes and felt the blades of grass between my toes. The weather was just right. High seventies. Low eighties in the sun. I busted loose a few times on... Tue, 3 Sep 2013 21:41:32 EST Reflections of Summer To me, Bre's departure for college marks the end of summer. I have had the blessing of her presence in my life for most of those days and have had a chance to travel and see my grandchildren. Along with work, writing and doing a few projects on the side, I've seized the opportunity to grasp onto a new hobby. My camera does not leave my side. As I get older, I'm realizing the importance of capturing moments because, in all honesty, my memory isn't what it used to be. I also want to leave ... Sun, 25 Aug 2013 17:17:29 EST Letting Go She came home for the summer. When she lugged in her suitcases and the odds and ends of blenders and mismatched socks, I was ecstatic. Yes, I worked alot but I was bound and determined to make time to spend time with my girl. It was going to be like old times, going places, doing things, bonding even closer than ever before. I even made a list of things that we were going to do and posted them on my closet door. Our first evening together we were inseparable... <BR> <BR> She was differe... Sun, 11 Aug 2013 13:15:29 EST My Circle of Fathers (Originally meant to be posted for Father's Day but better late than never...) <BR> <BR> Even though I was only five years old when my father passed away, I still have fond memories of him. He was a hard-working, tall, slim man, with piercing brown eyes and jet black hair that stood out from his weathered face, along with a smile or scowl that made you stop and take in deep thoughtful breaths. My mother absolutely worshiped the ground he walked on. But knowing my mother, as he did VERY we... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 17:04:50 EST I'm In Here Somewhere This is a rare moment for me. <BR> <BR> As of right now, the phones aren't ringing, the emails are silent. Texting is at a minimum with short reminders from my children who want me to know they love me. Work has loosened its grasp on me and I am enjoying the solitude of a quiet evening at home. "Enjoying" is perhaps not the word...possibly "tolerating" is the correct term as I am feeling foreign and out of place in these four walls as I tap out these letters on this keyboard. My writing ... Thu, 23 May 2013 23:28:58 EST Awkward Family Photos I was going through my camera and ran across some pictures today. Who says pics have to be "picture perfect" to be great ones??? I decided that since yesterday's blog was kind of "deep" I would lighten up today with some "Awkward Family Photos" of my own. Welcome to the first installment...just don't tell Bre that some of these made it out to the public! <BR> <BR> "Wake up Bre!! The Easter Bunny was here!" <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 19:43:38 EST Get Real Dear Self: <BR> <BR> Who are you? <BR> <BR> If you were able to peel back the layers of your life, disrobing the learned behaviors and shaped beliefs that you have carried with you throughout your life, would you do it? Who are you behind closed doors, when no one is speaking, when no one is listening, when no one is watching? What is your innermost dialogue that seems to be speaking with every heart beat, your true definition, your real purpose, of your life here on this earth? <BR> <BR... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 22:38:38 EST Sticks and Stones We are defined by our words. How we say them, when we say them, if we even say them at all. Our tongues are our most powerful attribute...they say that actions speak louder than words, which is very true in most cases, but words have the power to build up or tear down just as well. The old childhood taunt of "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" has lost its strength as we are faced with the reality that bullying in our schools has reached an epidemic level. ... Sat, 16 Mar 2013 14:54:09 EST Trampled By Elephants My old man and I both work the same shift so everyday before we leave we try to spend as much time together as possible. Whether we go out for lunch or just cook together we talk about our kids, grandkids, the bills, our health or what's going on in the news. But there are some days we get bored and that's when stupid stuff happens. (Like seeing who can make the most points tossing cashews into the other's mouth. You get double points if you don't choke them doing it.) Or watching reruns... Sun, 17 Feb 2013 14:31:40 EST It Doesn't Take A Brick To Fall... We've all seen her. The little girl in the corner at the party with her arms folded across her chest and a pouty mouth, mad because something didn't go her way. The people around her are trying their best to make her smile, to reassure her that it's going to be okay, just come out and have some fun. She won't look anyone in the eye and quickly turns away from them with tears in her eyes, defiant and a little testy. All she can think of is how "unfair" life seems to be... <BR> <BR> A coup... Tue, 12 Feb 2013 22:24:27 EST