STEADYON's SparkPeople Blog STEADYON's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community same old stuff I am back...I hope! <BR> <BR> I keep gaining despite my efforts, it a vicious cycle really. <BR> <BR> I bust my but...see no results...stop what I am doing...gain more...get depressed and mad...start making changes...see no results...gain more... <BR> <BR> you see where this is going. <BR> <BR> I hate this, I am officially at my HIGHEST weight ever. <BR> <BR> Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:36:56 EST The run down Here's the summary of what I have been doing for the past nearly 2 months <BR> <BR> I do: <BR> work out <BR> sleep enough <BR> drink a ton of water <BR> eat lots of veggies/fruits <BR> eat lean proteins <BR> eat gluten free <BR> drink wine <BR> drink coffee (no sugar) <BR> love chocolate <BR> have late night snaking issues <BR> track calories burned <BR> cook most meals at home with fresh ingredients <BR> <BR> I don't: <BR> drink soda <BR> eat fast food <BR> skip meals <BR> track calori... Sun, 19 Aug 2012 09:58:17 EST Frustrated I have been keeping up with my workouts very nicely. I am not losing and I am about to just throw in the towel. I hate how I look, feel and feel like a failure. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>15</em> Sun, 29 Jul 2012 12:03:19 EST Update Well it's been about a month since MtoW boot camp started and I will confess I suck at sticking with ANYTHING! <em>234</em> I would say that I miss the accountability and anxiousness of seeing your friends. That is what I miss most about being in a BootCamp in person. <BR> <BR> I have however, been very active and going off of my AD meds. This week might be a challenge between the dizziness and AF BUT I WILL DO MY BEST! <BR> <BR> I got some amazing veggies in my share box from a local fa... Sun, 22 Jul 2012 16:48:33 EST Whew... Well I have been doing well with my workouts...burning 600+ calories a day! My food is ok...could be better ;) <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I am weaning of of Cymbalta, it has put 11 pounds on me in 6-8wks so it has to go! I am ready for this weight to start melting off <em>9</em> Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:06:47 EST Mommy to Wowwy Boot Camp Challenge -Day 1 Today is July 1st and day one of my challenge with my SparkTeam Mommy to Wowwy. <BR> <BR> I weighed in and I am NOT happy, truth be told I am disgusted! <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> Immediate factors... <BR> 1. I ate a yummy, overfilling Mexican meal last night and had a Margarita w/salt. <BR> 2. AF is knocking at the door (starting today/tomorrow) <BR> <BR> According to my scale: <BR> Weight 215-highest EV.ER <em>46</em> <BR> Fat (lbs) 81.6 <BR> Water weight 45.2% <BR> Bone weight 6.8% <BR>... Sun, 1 Jul 2012 10:16:58 EST Pulling up my boostraps I tracked and carefully chose my food today. I did an hour of BodyCombat <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> I took in 1633 calories and burned 600 calories! Mon, 25 Jun 2012 21:42:18 EST Feeling blue I am actually to the point of just sadness when it comes to my fitness, how I look and how I feel. I WANT to do better and I WANT to look better and I LOVE to eat. So now what? <BR> <BR> I keep hearing in my mind "if you don't want to keep starting over...quit stopping" I feel like all I do is get frustrated and start over but I am never making ANY progress. I hate being fat, I am self conscience and tired of schlepping 205-210 lbs around. <BR> <BR> I thought it was the Prozac I had been... Sun, 24 Jun 2012 17:00:02 EST Finally Losing! Wow I haven't blogged since my race <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I have changed my antidepressants and am starting to lose! I am down 4 lbs! I am looking forward to my hard workouts actually showing! Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:20:47 EST I DID IT! I completed my first 10K! <BR> <BR> I am proud of myself and look forward to increasing my fitness and endurance to run the whole thing next time <em>312</em> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 07:22:51 EST Back from Spring Break Spring break was not all I had boys got sick so I was not able to get my running in :( <BR> <BR> My eating was horrendous! I am detoxing this week, it was THAT bad. My 10K is Sunday and I am really not ready. I will go, run what I can walk the rest and just keep moving! <BR> <BR> Thu, 22 Mar 2012 09:18:13 EST Spring Break Tomorrow I will be flying to Tampa for spring break with my little men :) I have my running clothes/shoes I hope to get 2 runs in. <BR> <BR> Mon, 12 Mar 2012 18:30:05 EST Day 18 Well I was super pleased to see the scale go down today, but truth be told it was due to AF being almost over...good and bad I guess. I don't know what is "normal" for water weight during that time but I really pack it on <em>2</em> <BR> <BR> It's seems that when I am the most bothered by my weight is directly related to my cycle! <BR> <BR> Fri, 9 Mar 2012 08:57:30 EST Day 14 Today is BodyPump day YAY! Also I will get in an easy run. I have 19 days to get ready for the 10K <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Ok so I changed my mind and decided to just go RUN and I did 4 miles!!!!! I walked some but did good :) Mon, 5 Mar 2012 09:18:46 EST Day 13 Well not much to report...doing much better (emotionally) and ready for a new week! Sun, 4 Mar 2012 20:48:21 EST Day 8 Well yesterday despite being defeated I walked for 45 mins then took BodyPump. I was crabby and down all day :( <BR> <BR> This morning I went for a run and had a great time! Of course I have a limited time to do so and had to stop but I felt like I could run forever. I am feeling better and less hard on myself. <BR> <BR> It is my birthday after all ;) <BR> <BR> Tue, 28 Feb 2012 14:05:35 EST I am SO TIRED of this battle...I am about to just give up! Maybe my age is catching up with me? Maybe I am doing this all wrong? I just want to shed some weight so I can be happy with myself and feel healthy. <BR> <BR> I need a solid solution <em>46</em> Mon, 27 Feb 2012 09:11:13 EST Day 6 Well all I did today was CLEAN but it took all day. Ready to hit the gym tomorrow :) Sun, 26 Feb 2012 21:11:50 EST Day 5 Had a good run! I ran the most of 2 miles and didn't suffer like I did last time ;) <BR> <BR> I just need to get past the darn 2 mile mark <em>198</em> Sat, 25 Feb 2012 14:42:25 EST Day 4 Today has gone well, it's a very laid back day. I might go run later at the Y but my day has been too full to get there yet. <BR> <BR> I am so sore from yoga yesterday!!! Fri, 24 Feb 2012 15:48:57 EST Day 3 ~ Doing better So I decided I was going to run an entire mile no matter how fast/slow I go. I DID IT. It was pretty slow at speed 4.6 but I didn't stop. Oh I wanted to but I just keep going. <em>334</em> Then I walked about .15 mile and started running again (repeat until 2 miles) I got up to 5.5 on the treadmill but that was tough. <BR> Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:09:52 EST Day 2 Well I worked my butt off yesterday and though the scale was down I am so discouraged about my running. <BR> <BR> Is it possible I am just not a runner? How/When will I know? UGH! Yesterday I felt like my body could do it but my lungs couldn't. How do I fix that? Perhaps my asthma is there just enough to create an issue when I run... <BR> <BR> I am going to try to use my inhaler more regularly and see if that helps but I am frustrated and feeling like a big fat loser <em>234</em> Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:55:40 EST Day 1- Operation 10K Today is the beginning of another goal for me. I am going to work very hard over the next 6 weeks to be able to run 6 miles. I signed up for the CAP 10K on March 25th and after losing my momentum I am not really ready to even to a 5k <em>2</em> <BR> <BR> BUT....I can try, train and set my mind to it! <BR> <BR> Mon, 20 Feb 2012 09:02:56 EST Starting Juice Plus today I got my order of Juice Plus and started myself and Trevor on them, I can't wait for the energy to kick in ;) Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:51:04 EST Finished Week 2 I had a rough run today, I ran on the track at my son's school and the wind was gusting 14-18mph WHEW! <BR> <BR> I have been running so much better since going to the chiropractor! It's nice to feel like I am getting better, stronger, faster :) <BR> <BR> What I don't get is why I have seemed to gain 2 pounds <em>39</em> I am hoping to see better scale victories this week! Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:11:02 EST Crack! OMG I went to the chiropractor today for some problem areas and WOW! You would have thought she was actually breaking my back! I feel so much looser now but it seems as though I have some moderate "issues" I hope once I get them worked out running will become easier. Tue, 10 Jan 2012 19:50:51 EST 10K-W1D2 Whew...I did it but my body is really wondering what I am up to <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Today was hard (again) but I went a tad further and completed the task! <BR> <BR> I plan on taking the weekend off of "running" and just walk. I will do week1 day3 on Monday. <BR> <BR> Fri, 6 Jan 2012 12:51:45 EST My 10K adventure (the beginning) Thanks for reading! <BR> <BR> I have set a goal for myself to run a 10K in March. I have only ever run 5K's, and's been a while! <BR> <BR> I started yesterday (1/4/12) and plan on running M/W/F and doing Yoga T/TH until the race. I am doing the CAP 10K in Austin. Thu, 5 Jan 2012 16:21:06 EST New Years Eve Wow another year gone! That was a fast year and for me- fitness wise has not been good. So that is going to change in 2012! <BR> <BR> 2012 Goals <BR> <BR> Fitness: increase my running, incorporate weights, strengthen my core, try zumba. <BR> <BR> Emotional: heal my eating issues, forgive myself for poor choices, recognize my worth. <BR> <BR> Nutritional: eat cleaner, no gluten, lower sugar and salt intake. <BR> <BR> Spiritual: give thanks everyday, read my Bible daily, find a small grou... Sat, 31 Dec 2011 09:49:46 EST Dec 28, 2011 Good afternoon! <BR> <BR> Today's workout was a great one. I was sore from yesterday but in good I am REALLY sore! <BR> <BR> So today I walked .25mi/ran .25mi for a total of 2.43 miles. It was hard but I did first small goal is to run 1 mile again with needing to stop. I did run 1 whole mile just in 1/4mi sections ;) <BR> <BR> I also did upper body weights, 30 second plank and all my stretches, I am on a role. I am glad to be getting a jump start on the new year. <em>105... Wed, 28 Dec 2011 16:51:11 EST Re-starting, this is it! Hello! <BR> <BR> I am in a world of hurt and need to DO here I go! <BR> <BR> I weighed in at my HIGHEST weight ever and I am dressed for the gym. I am signed up for a 5k Feb 4th and I am ready to get to work. <BR> <BR> Got to go, the gym is calling! <BR> <BR> *I did 33 mins walking, 3m30s running, leg weights and stretched. <BR> Tue, 27 Dec 2011 09:52:43 EST 3 months? Really....UGH, it's been three MONTHS since I posted? No wonder I am in bad shape <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Here is a run down of what happened...some may be TMI <BR> <BR> 1. I fell into a major depression and didn't get to the gym like I had been. <BR> 2. I had the ParaGuard removed and the Mirena placed only to pack on 10lbs in 4 weeks. <BR> 3. Had the Mirena removed and only dropped about 4 pounds. <BR> 4. Learned that we'd be moving to Austin...moved, lived in a hotel, ate out a lot, no ex... Tue, 13 Sep 2011 08:59:45 EST Starting Over I guess it's better than not starting at all right? <BR> <BR> I have be on a major binge and thank God yesterday was a good day. I had no desire for the crap food, ate reasonably but I am ready to get back my mojo! <BR> <BR> I am back to 199 and feeling very ashamed and pissed about it. Today I dust off my running shoes and get moving! <BR> <BR> Here's to today being another successful day. Tue, 31 May 2011 07:16:28 EST Baby Steps Yesterday was a GREAT day Spark-Wise, today is great too! One day at a time right? Right! <BR> <BR> I did water Pilates much easier than regular pilates <em>20</em> and it felt great to be in the pool <em>237</em> Tue, 10 May 2011 16:04:48 EST Had a great day! Whew!!!!! <BR> <BR> All my food was ON TRACK <em>224</em> & got my boot camp workout in this morning <em>34</em> <BR> <BR> Now to get through the evening... <em>52</em> Mon, 9 May 2011 18:40:43 EST What is it? Why can't I get with it. I WANT to, I NEED to...I just cannot get past this damn rut. I am pissed, disappointed and well embarrassed. <BR> <BR> I wont do the work out videos so this boot camp challenge is's just to awkward to try to work out at my computer and honestly I am not going to do it. I need to be at the gym. <BR> <BR> Counting calories is getting old, measuring everything is getting old and the cravings are insane! <em>2</em> <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> I am hating thi... Sun, 8 May 2011 08:42:31 EST Accountability I was at a Graduation party for a "gym" friend yesterday, mind you I have not been to the gym in over two weeks! ALL of my boot camp buddies were there and I felt so guilty and ashamed :( I felt like everyone was looking at me noticing I have gained a few pounds back and everyone was saying they hoped to see me tomorrow (Monday Boot camp) <BR> <BR> The reality is they probably DO miss me and they were likely NOT looking at me like a fat slob, they are my friends. I see them nearly everyday ... Mon, 2 May 2011 07:57:40 EST Merry-go-round I feel like I am spinning and can't get off. I have made some REALLY bad choices and am already paying for them. <BR> <BR> BUT that was then and this is now! I will go log my breakfast and get back on track. <BR> <BR> Sat, 30 Apr 2011 11:26:38 EST Totally Slack I have fallen off the wagon and over a cliff I think :( <BR> <BR> I was doing to RML 100DTS but after a few weeks I stopped, I think when I get SO involved and strict with myself I start to panic and the sabotage begins. <BR> <BR> I am going to try to shift my focus from minutes, miles, reps and weights and just concentrate on MOVING. Fueling my body with what it needs and work on my food issues. <BR> <BR> Thank you for your support and I am open to suggestions. <BR> <BR> Love & Hope <em>... Sun, 24 Apr 2011 08:50:46 EST Balance Well this week I worked on two types of balance, I did my "balance" team activities but I also worked on physical balance in PT for my knee. ( I am not very good) but it was a great visual for how unbalanced I am in general. <BR> <BR> Also this week I really struggled, I just wasn't with it. Hoping for a better week next week. Sat, 2 Apr 2011 09:27:29 EST Sobbing in Spin Class? Yup! That was me today! <BR> <BR> I love my trainer/spin instructor she is a devout Christian and does an awesome "spirit ride" on Saturdays. I had no idea I was holing on to so much junk. Then about 2 songs in I was leaking from my eyes ;) <BR> <BR> I just could not stop the tears. I was not really sure at first why I was crying but I couldn't stop! <BR> <BR> My friend (instructor) came to check on me and said, just give it all to God. So I just cried and worked out in the darkness of th... Sat, 26 Mar 2011 11:39:52 EST What it means to be a "Warrior" I am the last person to ever call myself that but I have join a RFML team call Warriors and I plan on earning that title by the time summer is officially here! <BR> <BR> The cardio/strength is the easy part (right now) I run, spin and do boot camp already so I decided I better work on my balance and nutrition! The nutrition is not too bad...I need some tweaking no doubt, but I want to improve my intake and put the best I can into my body. <BR> <BR> Balance (life balance) is the HARD part f... Sat, 19 Mar 2011 09:53:26 EST My Disney 5k This was my first Disney Run, it was so fun and exciting. My friends and I met at our hotel and got settled. Went to Down Town Disney for a little shopping for our kids :) Had a nice dinner and lots of laughs! <BR> <BR> That 4:30am wake up call came too fast! <em>128</em> <BR> <BR> Here is the crowd this morning from my perspective, about 5,000 people total! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The run was easy as far as courses go, it was s... Sat, 26 Feb 2011 17:40:28 EST Getting back on the wagon I have nearly fallen off the wagon :( I had a rough week about 2 wks ago then a 10 day long PMS from hell. I have done some damage but nothing un-doable. I need to get back to tracking EVERYTHING and keeping busy when I "feel" like eating. <BR> <BR> I didn't want to log my weigh in since it had gone up, but how is THAT helping me? So I did it, I am not happy or proud. <BR> <BR> Anyway this is my declaration to get back to it. I deserve it and I am worth it. <BR> <BR> Fri, 28 Jan 2011 07:29:35 EST Just take the next step... Next Step by Melissa Greene (one of my fav workout songs) <BR> <BR> When your losing the fight and the finish line's too far away <BR> All you got to do is take the next step just get back up and take the next step <BR> Deep in your soul there's a strength just to face one more day <BR> Just take the next step <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> All we have to do is take that next step, don't give up!!! Sun, 16 Jan 2011 09:22:29 EST I am reaching goals! First- I was able to get my size 14 jeans on and wear them with 100% comfort! So glad to be out of those 16's! <BR> <BR> Second- I weighed in today UNDER 190! To be exact 188.7 <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> Third- I had to buy new work out pants b/c mine were literally falling off in Boot Camp on Friday! I went from XXL to L Tek Fit & Flare <em>7</em> <BR> <BR> I am so ready for this week! Sun, 9 Jan 2011 07:36:54 EST Going home! We have been in Dallas for 2 weeks with the Grandparents and I am SO ready to get home and get my new year off on the foot *I* want it, at least in terms of food ;) <BR> <BR> I have been very dedicated while here and went to the gym 7 times on my vacation, 6 of them were at 5am! <BR> <BR> I do not expect to be too bad off on the scale <em>193</em> <BR> <BR> Have a great day Sparkers! Wed, 5 Jan 2011 09:07:06 EST My 2011 Goals ~Lose 30 pounds <BR> ~Run more often, work on my distance <BR> ~Run the Disney 5k (signed up) & other races in my area too <BR> ~De-clutter my house and get a system in place for daily chores <BR> ~Master gluten/dairy free baking <BR> ~Have consistent quiet time with God <BR> ~Utilize my time better in general <BR> ~Be more calm and consistent with my children <BR> <BR> Fri, 31 Dec 2010 12:26:52 EST 2010 coming to an end I wanted to think about my year and see where I was, where I am going and what I accomplished. <BR> <BR> I have been in Boot Camp with my Trainer at the Y for about a year and am so much stronger than I was. <BR> <BR> I ran a 5k in 37:40 (I think) after not having run for about 7 years! <BR> <BR> I have lost pounds and inches and am now LOVING working out. <BR> <BR> I have stopped the binge eating, I have learned to "eat to live not live to eat" <BR> <BR> Happy New Year Sparkers, make i... Wed, 29 Dec 2010 08:15:53 EST Let's keep moving! Merry Christmas and I hope yours was terrific! <BR> <BR> I am done taking some time off, between traveling and enjoying the holiday with my family it's time to get back in the groove. My parents are taking me to their health club today and the rest of my visit :) <BR> <BR> We are going to buy my new spin shoes they are getting me for Chirstmas :) Also I got a Bodybugg SP from my hubby <em>250</em> Sun, 26 Dec 2010 08:55:46 EST